


Fly Away Home

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3158234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because her own life was so devoid of it, Bella always wanted to protect sweetness and innocence in other people. Maybe that was what drew her to Edward, a strange, socially awkward, but very sweet man. She couldn't know the secret he held-that he wasn't what he seemed, and she was the one being protected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Capricorn75](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capricorn75/gifts).



**Dedication: To Capricorn75. Happy birthday, my dear! You are made of amazing, and I can’t tell you how much I value your friendship. So I’m trying out a new genre for you. Let’s see how this goes. Thanks for putting up with me!**

**A/N: Hey so… I have no idea if I can pull this off. But...let’s try it.**

* * *

 “Poor little beauty.”

 

Bella Swan’s first foster guardian stood over her where she lay in her crib, finally asleep. The woman stroked her tear-stained cheek and sifted her fingers through her hair, at a loss for what else to do with the poor child. She had cried herself hoarse, screaming for her mommy and daddy.

 

How did one explain to a fifteen-month-old baby that her mommy and daddy weren’t ever going to come get her? The woman ran her finger gently over the scrape on the tiny girl’s chin—the only evidence of the truly horrific accident she’d been rescued from. This baby didn’t understand that it was a miracle she was alive, that the emergency workers had unearthed her from the twisted metal of three separate cars and found her somehow unharmed.

 

All she knew was she’d been surrounded by strangers for two days now. She wanted her own crib and her own toys. She wanted her mommy. She wanted her daddy. She wanted all the things that made her world good.

 

Her foster mother pushed her hair back out of her eyes, noting that little Bella looked miserable even in her sleep. “Pobresita,” she said with a cluck of her tongue. “Your Grandma Marie just isn’t up to caring for a baby, but she’s going to make sure your momma and daddy’s affairs are all in order for you. We’re trying to find your auntie, baby.”

 

The woman sighed. She knew how this story ended. Flighty young aunt. Even if they did find her, it was doubtful she’d want a baby, if the foster mother understood correctly, she’d never even met. “But you know, niñita bonita, you’re such a pretty baby. Even if your aunt didn’t come, I’m sure you’d be adopted right away. Such a beautiful girl.”

 

She went out into the hallway and brought back a beautifully carved representation of an angel. “Here. This is yours now, baby. Whatever happens, there must be a reason for all this. No one should have made it out of that crash, mija. No one. And look at you. Hardly a scratch. Someone up there likes you, little one.” She set the carving on a shelf overlooking the crib. “Never forget, beautiful Bella. Angels are watching over you.”

**~0~**

“She was not your charge to watch.”

 

The warrior angel knelt before the Council of Judgement, bowed in contrition.

 

“Explain yourself.”

 

The head of the council was one of the few angels with names. There were two kinds of angels who carried identifiers that separated them from the others: those, like Carlisle, who had earned their individuality and those who carried names in shame as punishment.

 

The warrior angel straightened up. “I saved my charge, as I was bidden. I—”

 

“Yes, you protected the human left in your charge, but also the baby girl. Do not change the subject.” Thunder rumbled through the space, punctuating Carlisle’s words and his anger. “You know what is at stake here. The deaths of humans are foretold. Written. Your charge needed your protection to ensure his survival, but the girl—she was to die.”

 

The warrior angel cringed. “It was too much waste.”

 

“Humans die. They all die. Some of them much sooner than others.”

 

“I couldn’t let her die,” the warrior angel blurted. “I cannot explain. I simply could not.”

 

“The urge to protect her is at least somewhat understandable. Angels are meant to protect humans. But you sacrificed a life to do so.”

 

The warrior angel bowed his head again.

 

He had not even thought about what he was doing before it was done. It was a car accident. A bad one. His charge had been caught in the middle, and it was his job to ensure his human came out alive. He’d done so, but he had caught sight of one of the passengers of another car—a beautiful baby girl. There was no way she would make it out alive as things were happening, so he had acted on instinct. He had pushed one of the other cars, and the baby’s car crumpled around her instead of on top of her.

 

Thunder rumbled as Carlisle sighed. “There are consequences to your actions. The child’s life is a mystery—entirely unwritten.”

 

No human’s life was completely written, but some points were fixed, some events foretold. Angels, like humans, also had free will. Mistakes and choices were made. The baby wasn’t the only anomaly in existence. It was a concern. Anomalies could interfere with foretold events, triggering a domino effect.

 

“And there is the concern of the human whose life you wasted without a thought.”

 

“Human lives are a blink, an instant,” the warrior said. “And he will be reborn. In the end, what does one life matter?”’

 

Carlisle tilted his head in incredulity. The others of the council sat, their faces etched in silent judgment. “Human lives are a breath, and that is what makes them so precious. I have to believe, since you saved the child, that you realize the value of human life. But I will make certain of it.”

 

When he spoke again, his voice rang with the double timbre of condemnation and magic. This was the warrior’s sentence. “You are hereby stripped of your rank and position. You will serve your sentence for the length of one human life. The child, Isabella Swan, is your charge alone. You will watch her.”

 

The warrior kept his head bowed. His earlier sentiment, that a human life was the blink of an eye, was instantly proved foolish. To know he would be reduced to watching for the length of the child’s life...it made the time far too long. It had taken him millennia to work up to the rank of warrior, and he couldn’t begin again until his sentence had been served.

 

“And...”

 

The warrior’s head came up in surprise and horror.

 

“I bestow on you the name of the life you stole, the man whose years you negated. His name was Edward Cullen, and henceforth, as will it be yours.”

 

The air rang with finality, and so it was, the angel who came in a powerful warrior, rose as Edward, a watcher.

* * *

** A/N: SO THAT HAPPENED. **

**Yeah. Edward is an angel. Let’s see how that goes.**

**So many thanks to GeekChick and Barburella.**

**Thoughts?**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: To clarify, because I think a couple people were confused, Carlisle is a head angel. Warrior Angel #923082309283 was named Edward as a punishment. He is not Carlisle. The warrior angel who BECAME Edward was speaking to Carlisle. :) Sorry about that.

“Don’t sulk, Edward. It’s unbecoming of angels.”

 

Edward scowled at his compatriot and worse, her use of the name. “You’re one to talk. You hardly took your own sentence with grace, Rosalie.”

 

The other angel grinned. “Well, it’s never a comfortable thing to be put in one’s place, now is it?”

 

Looking away from her, Edward gazed down at the earthly realm. Much as he hated it, Edward knew he would have to put up with Rosalie for the time being. There was only one other human anomaly in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. A little boy named Emmett McCarty. Edward idly turned away from his own charge-- she was fast asleep and quite safe-- to peek at the boy-child. Rambunctious creature. He was bounding around his backyard with a few other kids.

 

“So tell me truly. Why did you do it?”

 

Edward looked to Rosalie, seeing that as he was gazing down at her child, so she was gazing down at baby Bella. She was studying the girl as though she could find the answer to her question written there. Edward shouldn’t have cared, and he knew that. Still, he couldn’t help but bristle at her appraising look.

 

“You’ve heard my trial same as every other angel.” When an angel broke a rule, they were made an example of with no exception. It became universally known--a part of every other angel’s memories whether they had been physically present or not.

 

“Yes, and you didn’t answer the question then, either. So I’m asking it again.”

 

Edward looked down at the baby girl, replaying the events of those terrible seconds again. He hadn’t even been looking at her. He’d been with his charge, had tickled the back of the human’s neck so he looked up just in time to react enough that his car was only clipped. But as Edward had glanced around to ensure his charge’s continued survival, he’d laid eyes on the doomed child.

 

Not her.

 

There was no telling where the words had come from and really, they weren’t words. Rather, it was an instinct, a part of him. He moved without thought of anything else, sacrificing Edward Cullen’s life to save the baby he’d never before laid eyes on.

 

Why?

 

Over and over he replayed the scene, and he had no answer.

 

“Do you know why you saved the boy?” he challenged.

 

“Yes.”

 

That startled him. Frankly, human lives were so fragile, so stunted, that the idea anyone would go out of their way to save one human perplexed him. “Why?”

 

Rosalie grimaced. “A century or more ago, I failed at an assignment. My charge was a baby boy. His name was Henry.” She pointed to Emmett who was, at that moment, grinning winningly at his mother to charm himself out of trouble. “He had dimples just like those. I can’t be sure, but I think Emmett is Henry reincarnated. Or perhaps I just want to think so. I wanted to give those years he didn’t get because I failed.” She tilted her head, looking down on humanity. “And now, I’m quite certain Carlisle and the council were right in sentencing me to this task. I had no respect for humanity but now…” She shrugged. “Short though their lives may be, there is value in them.”

 

So Edward, still chafing, settled in to watch.

**~0~**

The roles of watchers were limited and mostly, what little they could do was enough. When Bella was a toddler, there were times she, like any child, wandered aimlessly near trouble. Once, she wandered near the edge of the cliffs above the ocean. It was only a matter of an angelic touch to the shoulder and her legal guardian raised her head.

 

“Isabella!” the woman cried, yanking the baby back to safety, and that was that.

 

Keeping Bella alive wasn’t difficult, not for an angel. What was difficult for Edward to deal with was all that he couldn’t control.

 

“This is the life I saved her for?”

 

Bitty Bella, five now, sat on the stoop of her newest foster home. She was watching the neighbor’s children tumble over each other on the grass. Her mouth was set in a thin line, determined not to cry though he could feel the misery radiating out of her. She wanted them to invite her to play, but they wouldn’t. The other kids in whatever neighborhood she happened to be living in at the moment never did.

 

Rosalie touched his shoulder. “It’s not because you saved her. Life is difficult, even for children. That is the way of the world. The natural order.”

 

It wasn’t anything Edward didn’t know. He had seen the suffering of mankind, had observed it since the dawn of this world. But this was the first time he had ever personally been responsible for a life. If not for him, the girl may have been well on the road to reincarnation, born into a life that was not as sad as this one.

 

“I saved Emmett, and he’s happy,” Rosalie said. “Your Bella may be too, someday. Just perhaps not today.”

 

Disgruntled, Edward reached out to touch a stray dog. He left in the animal a second sense--the inherent, mindless need to seek out the child.

 

Bella jumped when the animal, a sleek Jack-russell mix, trotted up her front steps, tail wagging and tongue lolling. She tentatively reached a hand out and patted the dog. When it didn’t jump at her, she flung her arms around it.

 

Pulling back, she petted the dog with exceedingly gentle pats. “Your name is Jakey, okay?” she whispered to it.

 

The puppy grinned and pounced on her, sending her to the floor in a hail of giggles.

**~0~**

By the time Bella was in first grade, she had found a friend. His name was Jasper Whitlock. He had a brother named Peter in fourth grade. They were, like Bella, foster children--the sons of abusive parents.

 

Eager to impress his own friends, Peter had picked a fight with his little brother on the playground. It was tiny Jasper versus four big fourth graders.

 

If such a thing were possible, Edward would have had a heart attack when he saw Bella, small for her age, skinny little Bella, hurtle herself into the melee. He was able to exert just enough force that when the biggest boy swung an arm out, blindly fighting her off, he didn’t hit her as hard as he’d been about to-- hard enough that she’d have flown back and struck her head on the pavement just so. She flew instead into the rough, but not-so-deadly sand. She pushed right back up to her feet with a grunt and flew at them again.

 

Edward watched closely, but the boys, startled by the audacity of this red-faced little girl, stopped shoving Jasper around.

 

“You stop it,” she yelled at them. “You stop it right now. You are not nice.” She stomped her feet. “Go away,” she demanded.

 

When they’d gone, she threw her arms around Jasper, hugging him tightly. “It’s okay, Jaspah. I’ll save you.”

**~0~**

“She has no sense of self-preservation,” Edward said, watching a now eight-year-old Bella break up a fight between a snarling dog and a bedraggled, pathetic looking cat. He flew in front of the dog, distracting it so that its bite wasn’t near as bad as it could have been.

 

The dog whined, looking to where Edward was, and ran.

 

“No one’s ever taught the poor creature her life has value,” Rosalie said, watching as the girl gathered the bloody cat up in her arms.

 

Quite the opposite, actually.

 

The state had found an aunt who agreed to take Bella in when she was a baby, but had lasted only two years before she decided she couldn’t be a parent after all. Since then, in the shuffle that wasn’t at all uncommon in the foster system, Bella had been with three different families.

 

She was warm, and fed. She was taken to school and kept in good health. Beyond that, Bella was given very little.

 

Edward watched her carry the cat a mile to the nearest vet. He watched as the foster parents she was with got in trouble--she shouldn't have been unsupervised--and Bella was moved yet again.

**~0~**

By the time she was a teenager, Bella had amassed a small group of constant friends. These were the kids who, for one reason or another, had grown up in the system with her. Jasper and Peter--when he wasn’t being an asshole--James, Victoria, and Laurent.

 

Watching her grow up, and by default, watching these other lost children grow up, Edward began to understand the intricacies of the human psyche. Everything was connected. There was a reason behind every action.

 

Kids who grew up like Bella and her friends weren’t doomed to fall into darkness, but Edward understood with perfect clarity why they were more susceptible. His Bella somehow always ended up on the sidelines. She was the one who found Jasper when he, eighteen then, had drunk too much. She called 9-1-1 and stayed by his side in the hospital. When James got in fights, she would help him get cleaned up and would doctor his minor wounds. She took Victoria when she needed an abortion, held her hand, and rocked her when she cried.

 

All before she was out of her teens.

 

And it was right around that time that Edward lost his companion. One day, Rosalie was just gone. Edward didn’t understand until he looked down on the earthly realm and, out of habit, over to her charge, her Emmett. He was startled to see her there, wearing the body of the woman she’d sacrificed, looking like any other human, talking to her grown charge.

 

He’d grown into a bit of a wild man, her Emmett. A kind man with a good soul, but perhaps a little too careless with his life. Many times Edward and Rosalie had marvelled at how careless humans could be. They were so fragile.

 

“Have you ever thought the risk might be worth it?” Rosalie had mused once.

 

Now she was gone.

 

“She fell,” Carlisle said when Edward sought him out to ask. “She told no one of her plan. It was her choice.”

 

“So she is…”

 

“Cut off from the host, from her power, from her immortality.” He looked as curious as Edward felt. “She’s not the first, but it’s rare.”

 

Edward nodded. “She had been asking many questions of late.”

 

“I see.” Carlisle studied him. “One weighs on you more than others, I think.”

 

“It does.”

 

“So ask.”

 

Edward pondered this for a moment more. He wasn’t used to questioning. “The girl was destined to die, and I prevented that. Why, then, did you not simply...correct my mistake.”

 

“Would you have rather we killed her?”

 

“No,” Edward said, the word sharp. “I’m simply asking. I am being punished because I disrupted the natural order, I rewrote what was written. Why then is part of my punishment to watch over this child, to prevent her death?”

 

“Edward, has it occurred to you to think that if we watch over the humans, then there may be someone who watches over us?”

 

It had not occurred to Edward, in fact.

 

Carlisle nodded and continued. “Like the humans, we too have the facts of our celestial plain. It is part of who we are to watch over humans, but it is not the only part. We are charged with a small piece of their destiny, the few and far between fixed points every human has. These things are almost completely unavoidable, and yet there are exceptions.”

 

“Like me saving the child.”

 

“Yes. So the rationale there is two-fold. The ruling class of angels proclaimed it so long ago that we should not try to upset the natural order.” Carlisle pointed to him. “And make no mistake, Edward. Both you and Rosalie were punished not so much because you saved these humans but because you threw away two human lives as though they were worthless. Humans may be fragile and temporary, but their lives are not worthless.”

 

Edward hung his head.

 

“I digress on that point,” Carlisle said, his tone gentle. “As I was saying. The fact that these things can happen, despite the natural order, despite the foretold and supposedly fixed points, leaves some room for question. Was it meant to happen this way?” He pointed down to the girl on the Earthly realm. “Is there some fixed point that required her to defy the natural order? Perhaps a fixed point in one of our lives? You are tasked with keeping her alive, but some day, you will fail. Humans cannot live forever, so it is inevitable you will fail. Is it that the how and when are simply unknown to us?”

 

Edward stared at the high-angel, completely flabbergasted. Carlisle chuckled. “Ah yes. It isn’t in our nature to question the natural order, Edward. That is not how angels are built.”

 

Then Rosalie might have fallen in a crisis of identity, Edward mused, looking down on his old cohort.

 

“It is beyond us to know if we are doing the right thing, protecting these anomalies so fastidiously,” Carlisle said. “It is simply how we have chosen to react.”

 

“And Rosalie’s charge? Emmett? He is adrift, without even a single fixed point and now without his watcher. So what of him?”

 

“An anomaly on top of an anomaly. Rosalie is human now and adrift. She too is without a fixed point.” Carlisle shook his head. “The council will convene.” He looked down at the earthly realm with a strange smile. “Though I suspect I can predict the outcome. Emmett has his angel, and Rosalie her answers.”

**~0~**

Aging out of the foster system, Bella was set adrift--an adult, supposedly able to care for herself simply because she’d reached the right age. And truth be told, she did better than most people in her situation. She got a job and rented a room in a nice house from a nice couple. She did what she needed to get by and even started to dream of better things.

 

Given enough time, Bella might just reach that happy place Edward wanted for her. The problem was her friends. Her friends had not made it out of the system with their noses clean. All of them were on the road to serious trouble.

 

Their saving grace was they all seemed to recognize that Bella had gotten out, that she had, astoundingly, maintained a modicrum of innocence. Not a lot--they had all been through too much--but enough that they didn’t try to involve her in their shady dealings.

 

At least, not directly.

 

Bella had worked at a comic book store since she was eighteen. By twenty, she had more than earned the owner’s trust. She was there alone fairly often and, because she trusted her friends, they had more access than they should to the premises. It was ideal for the dealings they had going. They used the comic book shop as a front for nefarious business right under Bella’s nose.

 

Edward had the foresight of the angels at his disposal. He had knowledge of the minds of the people Bella associated with.

 

This had disaster written all over it.

 

“I cannot protect her from this, not from here,” he said to Carlisle one day. “This is too big. She is getting too deep without even realizing it, and I cannot pull her back.”

 

“You were always meant to fail at this, Edward.”

 

The angel shook his head vehemently. “No. Not like this. Human lives can be difficult, but she has had almost no life at all. No sweetness. No beauty.”

 

“Some human lives are like that. She will be reborn.”

 

“No. It’s wrong.”

 

“Why?”

 

Edward paused, staring down at his charge. “I don’t know,” he said softly. “But there must be a way to protect her. Some way.”

 

To his surprise, Carlisle didn’t argue. He didn’t tell him to let it go, let it be.

 

No. After a prolonged pause, the high-angel sighed. “There is one way. One chance.”

**~0~**

 

“Hey, Ben. Check this out.”

 

Bella waved to the kid who stood on his tip-toes, looking tediously through box after box of comics stacked in the corner. His eyes brightened as he hurried over to Bella. “What is it?”

 

“I need your lips zipped on this one, kid. This isn’t supposed to hit the stands for two more days.”

 

Ben’s eyes went wide, and he nodded. Bella pushed the super-secret edition of his favorite series over the counter and smiled when the boy nearly vibrated out of his skin with excitement. “Bella, you’re the best,” he said, and then promptly hurried over to the game table to devour the issue.

 

Watching him, Bella felt a rush of satisfaction. She had a soft spot in her heart for Ben. He was thirteen, but he looked ten, which was a crappy situation at that age to begin with. On top of that he was, like her, a foster kid, and Bella knew only too well that there weren’t a lot of highlights in his life. Comics were his escape, and far be it from Bella to deny him such a simple pleasure.

 

Bella turned back to her inventory, humming along with the song that had come over the loudspeaker.

 

“Would it kill you to play something good?” Ben asked, looking up from his comic. “This was before your time even.”

 

“Bee Gee’s is classic, kid. Now shut it and get back to your book.”

 

She started  to dance and sing specifically to see Ben roll his eyes. “Ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin’ alive.”

 

As she shimmied, she saw a man walking down the sidewalk. It amused her that he seemed to be strutting in time with the song. He was tall, his red-brown hair tousling in the wind.

 

He wasn’t the kind of person Bella would ever imagine coming into a comic book shop, so she was very surprised when he stopped at her door and came in. She stopped singing, her mouth snapping shut as she watched him.

 

The man seemed strangely curious and a little out of it. He stepped just in the door and looked around, taking in the shop with its figurines, comic books, and game tables with an expression Bella couldn’t read. When people came in here, there was either pleasure in their eyes--for nerds and geeks, this place was a haven--or with derision. This man looked...not quite confused nor incredulous. He seemed to be taking it all in.

 

When his eyes landed on her, Bella’s breath caught. His eyes were green, but it wasn’t the color that struck her. No, there was something in them that struck her with such intensity--as though she were staring at infinity when she looked in them.

 

But that illusion was shattered a moment later when he stepped in the door--directly into a Warhammer display. Figurines and books went flying. The man tumbled forward, his long coat flipping up as he fell down.

 

“Oh my god.” Bella darted forward. She dropped to her knees before him, watching him blink up at her with a shocked expression that would have been funny if she wasn’t simultaneously checking him for grievous injury. “Are you okay?”

 

“I am fine,” he said.

 

“Okay.” She put a hand under his arm. “Let’s get you on your feet then.”

 

Though she wouldn’t have thought it possible given that he’d just knocked over a display, he rose in a lithe, graceful movement, his eyes still locked on hers. “I’m sorry for the mess.”

 

“Hey, it happens. Usually to me, so I’m relieved.” Bella smiled. He looked back at her. He didn’t move. “Are you sure you’re okay, buddy?”

 

“I’m Edward,” he said, his brows knitted.

 

“What?”

 

“Edward. Not Buddy.”

 

She huffed. “Right. Sorry. Edward.” She offered a hand. “I’m Bella.”

 

He studied her hand for a moment but then put his hand in hers. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said, shaking.

  
For some reason, when he didn’t let go right away, she didn’t either. “Right. It’s nice to meet you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Barburella and to Capricorn75!
> 
> And special shout out to Cris and moospot (lizard whatever…) for their patience today. They’ve been visiting, and I started angsting out about not writing while we were at Universal today. LOL. It’s a sickness.
> 
> To those of you who asked about a posting schedule, I write whatever my fingers tell me to and I have seven stories going right now (including ofics). HOWEVER, I am usually pretty reliable at updating my stories at an average of about once every one and a half weeks...so there’s that. 
> 
> OH. One more thing. I entered the May to December contest. I’ll put a link to the contest in my profile if you’re interested. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, duckies. Sorry about the wait. For those of you who didn’t read my A/N in one of my other fics, I bit off more than I could chew, fic-wise. I’m trying to set a schedule for myself that lets me keep my fics updating and still leaves me time to work on my ofic. :) Thank you for your continued patience!

“Oh my god.”

 

Edward tilted his head, studying Rosalie up close in her human body for the first time. As he looked at her, she looked back at him. When they reached each other’s eyes, he spoke. “It seems ironic.”

 

She blinked. “What?”

 

“For an angel to exclaim that. ‘Oh my god’ seems ironic. If only because of how humans perceive god.”

 

Rosalie’s lips twitched up into a smile. “Not as ironic as atheists using the phrase. That always amuses me.” She grabbed his hand and hauled him inside her apartment. “Now tell me what you’re doing here.” She studied him again. “You’re not fallen. I can see your glow.”

 

“You can still see that?”

 

“Residual angel dust.” She laughed. “Sometimes I see things. Sometimes I hear things. It’s like an echo.” She sat on the arm of her couch. “Now answer the question.”

 

Edward explained the situation. “Would you believe Carlisle gave me the idea?”

 

“I would say I’m surprised, but somehow, I’m not. I wonder about that being at times.” She looked him up and down. “That’s Edward Cullen’s body.”

 

Edward looked down at his body--still so awkward to him--and nodded. “It’s a vessel.”

 

“I know that, jackass.” She waved her hands up and down her own body. “You know who this was?”

 

“The original Rosalie Hale.”

 

Rosalie nodded. “To fashion a body that has life in it? That’s something beyond our powers, but you know that. This vessel had more life to give, so I lit the spark. You, however, are still an angel. An angel can’t be contained for long in a human vessel.”

 

“That was the catch. Carlisle warned me I wouldn’t have forever to accomplish my goal.”

 

“Then we need a plan.”

~0~

They tried out the backstory they crafted on Emmett when he came over that evening.

 

The young man’s eyes twinkled when he came into Rosalie’s apartment and saw Edward there. “Rosie, you know I’m a jealous man,” he said, clearly joking. “If you invite pretty boys over while I’m not here, I might jump to the wrong conclusions.”

 

“Says the man who flirts with everything that moves. Anyway, don’t worry about him. Emmett, this is Edward Cullen. Remember I told you I grew up in the foster care system? He was one of my foster brothers. Edward, this is Emmett. He’s a friend.”

 

“With benefits,” Edward said, shaking Emmett’s hand as he’d often seen humans do.

 

“Edward.”

 

Edward looked at Rosalie, perplexed as to why she suddenly seemed upset. “What? That was what you told me earlier, right?”

 

Rosalie smacked her forehead and Emmett seemed to think the whole exchange was funny. He cleared his throat. “Anyway. Nice to meet you, man.” He looked to Rosalie. “I thought you said you really didn’t keep in touch with anyone from your past.”

 

“I don’t.” Rosalie herded them toward the living room. “I’m not sure how to explain it. We’ve been through a lot together. It’s a bond that doesn’t get broken easily, even though it’s been years since I’ve heard from Edward.”

 

Edward smiled at her. This, at least, was the truth. As odd as it was to see her so human, the bond they shared as angels would never be shaken.

 

Emmett nodded as he sat. “So how long are you in town for.”

 

“Indefinitely.” Edward cleared his throat, preparing to recite the background he and Rosalie had crafted. “I was living in Chicago. There was a fire. Faulty wiring. No one’s fault. I lost almost everything, so I figured it was a sign. I wasn’t happy with my work or my life, so I decided I needed a change of scenery. Rosalie was gracious enough to take me in until the insurance money comes through.”

 

“Wow. That’s pretty intense,” Emmett said

 

Edward smiled. “You have no idea.”

~0~

It’s time for you to take a hike.

 

Edward was in Rosalie’s guest room--his room--trying to figure out how to work the laptop she’d shoved at him some hours before when her voice echoed loudly in his head. Though containing his angelic form in a human vessel did limit his powers, he was not without them entirely. He could still read minds, and Rosalie knew that.

 

I’m not kidding. Get out. I’ll make sure you regret it if you don’t.

 

He listened harder and realized Rosalie was still with Emmett. They were in her room. They were kissing. Emmett was touching her.

 

Edward, I swear if you’re still here--

 

Edward spread his wings and slipped out of the physical realm, disappearing from the house at the speed of thought. He flew up, glad for the excuse to drop the human facade. Safely hidden from human eyes, he flew without forethought and landed on top of a water tower. He could have gone anywhere on the planet--a significant downsizing considering he was used to being able to travel the lengths of the universe--but there was nothing in particular he wished to see just then. So he settled on top of the tower to think.

 

He knew what Rosalie and Emmett were about to do, and couldn’t say he understood Rosalie’s objection to his overhearing. It was nothing he hadn’t seen millions of times throughout all the years of watching over humanity. Even when he had been a warrior, he hadn’t been unaware of humans.

 

It was somewhat strange to think of Rosalie consorting with a human like that, but she was a human. She had been for three years now. It hadn’t occurred to Edward to wonder about her human life--could an angel really live life as they did?--but now he found his mind full of questions.

 

Since he would get no answers then, Edward let his thoughts drift to his mission. In the space of another thought, he found himself beside Bella in her car. She couldn’t see him, of course. Edward settled back, listening to her hum along to the radio, and watching the traffic. He tilted his head and found himself confused.

 

Earlier that day, when he’d gone to visit Bella at her work, he’d been fresh in his body. He’d been disconcerted with being contained to a small vessel and further perplexed by the complexities of walking and, well, simply experiencing existence in this new form. He had briefly tried to open his mind to receive Bella’s thoughts and none had come. Then, he’d been too distracted to dwell. Now, though, especially hidden as he was from human sight, he was able to concentrate on one task.

 

Try though he might, he couldn’t hear Bella’s thoughts.

 

Interesting. Irritating. Perhaps this was one of the limitations Carlisle had mentioned, but then, why had he heard Rosalie’s thoughts?

 

Perhaps this particular ability only worked if someone was thinking at him. After all, Rosalie had been trying to communicate with him.

 

He made a mental note to test the extents of this power later. Right then, he contented himself with doing what he was used to--watching Bella.

 

The ride was almost uneventful. Bella had just turned off the freeway and was moving into an intersection when another car ran a red light. Bella yelped, her car jerking as she reflexively veered, missing the other car by inches. She pulled over, shaken but fine.

 

Edward was not faring as well. It had taken all his considerable willpower to stop himself from manifesting. He could think quite a bit quicker than humans, and had seen the car a fraction of a second before Bella had reacted, saving her car--and possibly herself--from harm. In that tiny space of time, he could have ruined his own plan.

 

That was the rub, though. Carlisle had given him the choice. Coming down to earth, taking on a human vessel, he had cut himself off from the celestial plane. All of Bella’s life, he had influenced beings in ways humans couldn’t perceive. Carlisle had warned him that if he chose the path he was now on, he would only be able to influence events physically. Yes, he could watch all he wanted from a space humans couldn’t perceive, but he could no longer reach out from that space. Had Bella not acted quickly enough, he would have had to pop into existence beside her.

 

Not for the first time, Edward second-guessed his choices. Still, the minor mishaps a human could get into that could potentially result in their deaths could also just as likely not. Had that car hit Bella, it may have only totalled her vehicle, and she had every chance to walk away unscathed. There was no real way of knowing, just as there had been no way of knowing how it would have turned out if Edward hadn’t been there to “save” Bella every time she wandered haphazardly into danger. After all, both Rosalie and Emmett lived without a watcher or a guardian to their existence, and they were no worse for the wear.

 

No, he had made the right choice Edward decided as Bella pulled back out on the road.

 

Still, he felt better staying with Bella for a few hours more as she went home and went about her business. Watching her, he considered the plan he and Rosalie had settled on, and wondered if it would work.

 

It had all seemed so simple when Carlisle gave him the choice. He would be in a human guise with superhuman powers. How difficult would it be to get a tiny, young human woman back on the right side of the street?

 

Rosalie had made it clear he didn’t know humans as well as he wanted to believe.

 

Some hours later, Bella was long asleep and Edward was back on top of Rosalie’s little house. He preferred it outside. He found inside too confining.

 

“Edward?”

 

Edward reappeared in Rosalie’s living room on her couch.

 

“Gah!” Rosalie laughed, putting her hand to her chest. “You have to not do that,” she whispered.

 

“I won’t do it in front of humans.”

 

“Shhh. I am human.”

 

“Humans who don’t know.” He looked at her. “Don’t you need sleep?”

 

“Yes, but I wanted to check on you.”

 

“What is it like?”

 

“What? Sleeping?” Rosalie smirked. “Annoying sometimes. When there are too many things I want to do, it’s very annoying. Sleeping in on the other hand…” She stretched languorously. “That’s fabulous. Especially when there’s someone to wake up with.”

 

Edward looked at her, taking in the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips, the way her skin and eyes seemed to glow with an inner light. “You are in love with that man. Your charge.”

 

She sighed and sat beside him on the couch. “I would lie to you, but you’d know I was lying. Yes, I’m in love with him.” She pulled her legs up on the couch and laid her head on them, grinning to herself and swaying. “It’s a perk of humanity. Love, I mean. There are a lot of perks.”

 

“If he loves you, why does he sleep with other women.”

 

She smirked again. “Does he sleep with other women?”

 

“He speaks as though he does.”

 

“Emmett talks a big game, but I don’t think he’s sleeping with anyone else. I don’t think he’s been with anyone else in a long time.” She gave a little squeak of pleasure. “He’s almost mine.”

 

Edward stared. “You’re doing to him what you want me to do to Bella. You’ve used what you know of him, of his life, to make him fall in love with you.”

 

Her smile fell. “You can’t make someone fall in love with you.”

 

“Then why would you believe I can make Bella fall in love with me?”

 

“Human emotional spectrum is complex, Edward. As an angel, you know only pure emotion. Pure devotion. Pure faith. Pure trust. Human emotion is much more complex. You remember we used to joke about songs, poems, fiction? Why are there a million ways to describe it, to experience it? The answer is simple. It’s because there are a million ways to be in love, and all of it is true love. Different in depth and faceted, but all true.

 

“Some love is simpler than others. It’s not so much that you can make someone fall in love with you. It’s that some love is inevitable. Predictable.” Her eyes raked over his form. “Let me clue you in, my innocent angel. Your vessel is ridiculously attractive. It wouldn’t be difficult to make her lust after you. You mix lust with like, and a human will inevitably fall in love. Not a lasting love. Not love like I love Emmett, but love takes on many forms.

 

“It’s the same plan. Either way, you’ll use your dishonest and unfair advantage to gain her trust. You’ll use her likes and dislikes. The difference is simply how effective you can be in what limited time you have. It would take years to cultivate a friendship so deep, she would willingly follow you away from her other friends. They’re the only constant she’s ever known, Edward. The only thing she knows of love. But you don’t have years. I’m simply saying there is little that strengthens a bond as quickly as love.

 

“As for Emmett and me, I didn’t set out to make him fall in love with me. I sought him out because he was the only human thing I really knew, and I needed that familiarity after I fell.” She looked at Edward. “I was an angel. That’s a fact that can’t be erased. I can’t unknow the things I know, and that includes how to read people, how to see their depth, to know their soul by looking in their eyes. I see more than other humans, even without the Host, I see more. Does that mean I can’t have what others have? I don’t deserve his love simply because I know how to read him?”

 

She shrugged. “You’ll see. You hang around with humanity long enough, you’ll begin to understand. My love for Emmett is honest. I fell for myself before I fell for him.” She laughed. “It’s only that I’ve realized that he loves me before he has admitted it to himself. Such is life. It’s a powerful thing, Edward. You’re trying to save Bella’s life. You need what power you can get.”

 

He turned away from her. “I’m not so oblivious to the power of love. If I let her fall in love with me, it will break her heart when I leave.”

 

“That’s part of a normal human life. Humans get their hearts broken all the time.” She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Trust me on that one.”

 

“Yes, I know what heartbreak looks like. Specifically, I know what heartbreak looks like on Bella. I’m not here to be the one who hurts her. I want to protect her, not put that look on her face.”

 

Rosalie held her hands up. “I heard you the first time.”

 

They were quiet for another moment before Edward spoke again. “I have a question.”

 

“I expect you’ll have many.”

 

“How did you do this? Fall, I mean? How were you able to arrange all this without them knowing.”

 

Them. The high angels. They knew so much. They knew all thought from humans to angels to all the beings in the known universe. How had they missed this? How had they missed that one of their own, their direct underlings, had begun to question to this extent? Rosalie had been an angel for eons and had given it up. He didn’t understand why, and he didn’t understand how the high angels had let it happen.

 

She ruffled his hair, her smile sad. “You’d be surprised how often they aren’t listening. Even to us.” She yawned. “Now, unfortunately, I really do need to sleep. Can you keep yourself out of trouble for a while?”

 

He looked at her, bemused. “I’m an angel. I can look after myself.”

 

“That’s not what I asked.”

 

“I have an intellect far beyond what any human is capable of.” He tilted his head down. “And that includes you. But to assuage your fears, I do know to keep out of sight.” He touched his finger to her forehead, curing several minor aches, sore muscles, and the beginnings of a sinus infection. “Sleep well.”

  
She huffed. “Thank you,” she said, and she took his hands, squeezing. “I do miss it, sometimes. I miss you.” She squeezed his hands again and then went to bed, leaving him to sit and think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay. So there’s that. Many thanks to my lovely Capricorn75, songster, and barburella for all their help.
> 
> Personal note--My newest book, Finding Purgatory, will be coming out soon. If you’re interested, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or my website. I hope to have news up soon. :) All my links are in my profile.
> 
> Much love to you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Duuuude. Duuuude. Duuuude. Mina made me SUCH a pretty banner and I totally forgot to say anything. Bonehead move. Check it out. Is it not gorgeous?
> 
> [ ](http://s118.photobucket.com/user/lyricalkris/media/FAHcover_zpsc6694534.png.html)
> 
> To those of you who say Edward reminds them a bit of Castiel… I don’t understand that reference. ;)

“Oh, this is so not a good idea.”

 

Bella hesitated outside of James’ apartment, listening to the noise of the music inside. James and Victoria didn’t exactly live in a quiet neighborhood, but this was different. It wasn’t the usual babies crying, people arguing, sirens blaring kind of noise. No.

 

James was having a party.

 

Bella turned around and ran into a wall of solid body. “Whoa, sugar,” Jasper said, steadying her with his hands on her shoulders. “How did James pull this off? I thought you said you’d never come to another one of his parties.”

 

“I’m not staying,” Bella said. She turned around and started to hurry off, but James appeared on the steps, his arms full of pizza boxes, blocking her escape.

 

“Hey, Baby Bells. You came.”

 

“You lied,” Bella said, dodging around him.

 

“Hey, hey.” James shifted the boxes to Jasper’s arms and went after Bella. He grabbed her by the arm. “Come on. You said you missed hanging out. I miss you, too.”

 

“And you said we were going to chill.”

 

“My parties are chill, baby.” James snickered, tugging her in the direction of his house. “So I neglected to tell you all my other friends were invited. So what?”

 

“So your friends are fucking scumbags, James.”

 

The look of genuine hurt on James’s face had Bella’s shoulders slumping.

 

“Is that what you think of me?” he asked, his mouth set in a firm line.

 

“No. No, of course not. You’re not like them, Jamie. That’s why I don’t understand why you hang out with them.”

 

“This fucking argument again?”

 

Bella shook her finger in his face. “You’re the one who tricked me over here. What the hell did you expect to happen?”

 

“Christ, I don’t fucking know. I thought it might be good for you to get the stick out of your ass; maybe get laid.”

 

Before Bella could retort, Jasper cleared his throat. “Come on. Keep me company an hour, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” James took the pizzas back from Jasper. “God knows, you probably think he needs protection from the big, bad assholes I hang out with.” He kicked his front door open and entered in a huff.

 

Bella grumbled, exasperated with herself and with her friends. She felt bad, but she also felt like James was being an idiot hanging out with the kind of people she knew were in there. It was an old, tired frustration, but neither James nor Victoria would listen to reason.

 

Jasper was a little better. Sometimes.

 

“They really aren’t all that bad, Bella,” Jasper said, slipping his arm around her to give her a squeeze.

 

“They’re trouble.”

 

“You’re being unfair.”

 

Bella narrowed her eyes. “Give me a break. I know we both play this game where we pretend not to know what we know about our friends, but be real with me a minute. You and I bust our ass working at jobs that pay us so little we actually qualify for food stamps. Meanwhile, you know damn well James sits on his ass playing X-Box all day, and Victoria is out shopping at stores I can’t afford to piss in. Even this shithole apartment of theirs costs something. So you tell me, Jasper. You tell me what you think is going on here.”

 

Jasper’s jaw was tight as he stared back at her, but he couldn’t argue. They both knew it. “I have to figure that a lot of people in there are like James and Vick. Yeah, okay. They do what they gotta do to survive, but they’re still our friends. They’re still good people, so I can stand to hang around with them for a few hours. Eat some pizza, have some beers, maybe score a joint, if that’s okay with you, Miss High and Mighty.”

 

“Jazz, don’t be like that.”

 

“It’s booze and pizza, Bella. They’re not going to sell you as a sex slave or force you to be a drug runner, huh. And yeah, whatever. You and I both know some people in there are going to get high as fuck on a lot of stupid stuff. Who cares? That doesn’t mean we have to.”

 

Bella kicked at a pebble and sighed. Jasper was right, after all. It wasn’t as though she’d never been around drugs and shady people. Ever since she spent the night in the hospital with Jasper after he drank too much, she didn’t like to leave him alone at these parties.

 

Besides, maybe Laurent would show up. She hadn't seen him in ages.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll hang out for a bit.”

**~0~**

The next day at work, Bella wasn’t a happy camper.

 

“You can hardly move your arm at all, can you?” Jasper asked, looking displeased as he leaned across the counter.

 

“I’ll survive,” Bella said, moving back to the shelf where she was setting up a few behind-the-counter specialty items.  
  
Jasper made a disgruntled noise. “You shouldn’t have interfered.”

 

“You shouldn’t be getting in fist fights.”

 

“Man, that guy was tripping, and you know it. I didn’t instigate anything, and I can hold my own. I could have handled it, and your arm wouldn’t hurt right now.”

 

Bella grunted. Christ, her arm did hurt a lot, but it had been an automatic reaction for her to jump into the melee when she saw the guy jump at Jasper. Grudgingly, she could admit Jasper was right. He wasn’t the same scrawny kid he’d been when Bella defended him from his brother’s bullying friends. Jasper had grown up tall and strong. He could have easily taken the guy from the night before without Bella’s help.

 

“It was a hell of a punch, though,” Jasper said, winking at her.

 

Bella smirked. Her punch had knocked the guy flat on his ass.

 

“I brought some of that stuff James tried to give you last night. I think you should take it,” Jasper said.

 

“No.”

 

“Come on, Bella. They’re just pain killers.”

 

“I have Advil.”

 

“You need something stronger than Advil.”

 

“I don’t want anything James has to offer.”

 

Jasper threw his hands up. “Fine. Fine. Suffer needlessly if you want to. That’s on you.” He pushed off the counter. “I have to get to work.”

 

“You and me both. Catch dinner later this week?”

 

“You got it, sugar.”

 

Bella turned back to her work, setting up the new display. Her arm ached from her fingers to her shoulders. Badly. Worse than that, her finger strength was down to almost nothing. The pain made her shaky and a little nauseated. Punching the idiot had been satisfying, but she thought she might have sprained something. She’d kept the worst of it from Jasper. He’d have insisted she go to the hospital, and she needed her right hand to work.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Bella hesitated a moment before she turned around, taking a deep breath to try to put the pain aside so she could help her customer. She put on a smile, but it faded into an o of startlement when she recognized the man standing at her counter. “Oh, it’s you. From a couple of days ago. Edward, right?”

 

“Yes. And you’re Bella.” The man flashed a smile that knocked Bella somewhat breathless.

 

“That’s me. So, can I help you with something?”

 

He tilted his head at her, studying her with eyes so intense Bella should have been uncomfortable. She wasn’t. His eyes were gentle--not threatening at all. “Actually, I was hoping you would let me help you.”

 

Bella arched an eyebrow. She gave him the once over. She was bad at gauging age, but he had to be at least thirty. His clothes looked nice. Bella was fairly clueless about things like fashion, but he didn’t look shabby by any stretch of the imagination.

 

“You can’t be looking for a job,” she said.

 

He seemed perplexed. “I was considering the possibility, but I’m not sure what that has to do with me helping you.”

 

Bella blinked. “Okay. Let’s start over. What is it you want to help me with?”

 

“Your arm is hurt.” He must have seen the surprise on her face, because he hurried to add, “Forgive me. I overheard you talking with your friend, and I saw you struggling with the display.”

 

“Oh.” Bella massaged her right arm and winced as pain shot all the way up to her shoulder like a lightning bolt. She let it drop to her side. “That’s nice of you, buddy, I mean Edward, but I’ll be fine. I can’t let you behind the counter.”

 

“I don’t need to get behind the counter to help you. I mean that I can help you with the pain in your arm. Without the assistance of drugs.”

 

This time both Bella’s eyebrows shot toward her hairline. “What? How?”

 

That seemed to throw him but only for a moment. “Do you know what acupressure is?”

 

“No. I’ve heard of acupuncture.”

 

He smiled, and Bella felt more at ease. “It’s the same general premise,” he said. “Except by touch. You see, your body is connected. A nerve in your foot might set off pain in your shoulders. Things like that. I’m skilled in the art of acupressure. If you’ll let me look at your hand, I may be able to help alleviate the pain and perhaps even speed the healing process.”

 

Bella was dubious. On the one hand, this could be like any number of seemingly kind-hearted offers she’d had in her life that boiled down to creepers wanting some excuse to touch her. But there was a sweetness to his eyes that Bella trusted inherently. She couldn’t  explain it, but it was there.

 

Besides, her arm really was killing her. What did she have to lose? It wasn’t like this guy was a big enough idiot to assault her in the store with a bunch of teenagers as witnesses.

  
Tentatively, Bella rested her arm on the counter and watched him. His expression brightened, and he reached for her. Bella flinched, but his touch was soft. He twisted her arm carefully, murmuring a soft apology when she whimpered.

 

“Take a deep breath,” Edward murmured.

 

She did, and he pressed the pads of his fingers at the point her thumb met her palm and two places at her wrist. Pain shot through her first but on its heels was a strange and soothing warmth. It was like warm water flowing over ice cold skin, chasing away the chill and bathing her arm in comfort.

 

Bella, shocked at the sudden cessation of pain, stared at her hand as though it was an alien species instead of an appendage of her body.

 

“Is that better?”

 

Bella looked up at Edward, stunned. “Yeah,” she said, incredulous. “Dude. How the heck did you do that?”

 

He smiled and stroked his fingers along the inside of her wrist. Bella should have protested, but it felt good. Besides, she was almost afraid to move her hand lest the pain kick in again. “It’s a technique I know.”

 

“Where did you learn how to do that?”

 

“Oh.” His brow furrowed. “I travel a lot. I’ve picked up a few things along the way.”

 

“Do you travel for work?”

 

“No. I don’t work. I did, but I don’t right now. I like to experience new things.”

 

“That’s cool. I’d love to travel.” Reluctantly, she took her hand from his and twisted it experimentally. “Especially if it means I’d pick up things like this. You’re some kind of miracle worker.”

 

“I’m not…” Edward began, his expression alarmed. Then he seemed to catch himself and he put on an easy smile. “It’s nothing that special.”

 

“It is to me.” Bella smiled, figuring she’d better drop the subject before she embarrassed the guy. There was something strange but very sweet about him. “Well, anyway. Is there something I can help you with?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Bella gestured around them. “You’re here again. Are you looking for something in particular?”

 

“No, I…” He ran his hand through his hair and looked up at her with a sheepish expression. “You may think I’m strange.”

 

“This is a comic book store. I guarantee you ain’t got nothing stranger than I’ve already seen.”

 

He seemed amused at this. “Well, I suppose you could say I’m the curious sort. That’s why I’ve traveled so much. Something gets in my head. I get curious, and I try to figure it out.”

 

For a second, Bella was terrified he was going to say it was her he was curious about, her he was trying to figure out.

 

“Do you know what Comic Con is?”

 

Bella blinked, thrown off. “Uh, yeah.” She gestured around them. “Comic book shop. Hello?”

 

“Right. Exactly. In any event, I’ve heard of Comic Con, but I can’t say I understand the fervor.”

 

Her cheeks heated. Of course this guy wasn’t obsessed with her. Ego much, Bella?

 

She cleared her throat and got her head back in the game. “But you want to? Understand, I mean,” Bella said, wondering if she was keeping up.

 

He beamed at her as though he was relieved someone got it. “Yes, exactly. Fandoms. Geek culture.” He gave her an apologetic look. “I’ve decided I want to go to Comic Con, but I feel like I shouldn’t unless I’m excited about something. Right now, I’m merely curious.”

 

She must have been looking at him as though he’d grown another head, because he looked down. “I told you it was strange.”

 

“Eh.” Bella shrugged. “Not half as strange as fandoms in general or anything you’d find at Comic Con, or so I’m told.”

 

“You’ve never been?”

 

Bella scoffed. “Yeah right. Out of my league, my friend. Even if I was lucky enough to win the ticket lottery, I’d still have to pay for the tickets, a hotel room, and the flight down to San Diego.” She sighed. “We’re just going to put that on the long list of ‘somedays’ I have going on.”

 

Before Edward could respond to that--she didn’t want or need his pity--Bella changed the subject. “Anyway. So you want to figure out what the fuss is all about. Why did you pick this place?”

 

“Oh. It was...random. I happened to be passing, that’s all.”

 

“Of all the comic shops in all the world, you have to walk into mine?”

 

His brow furrowed, and Bella’s jaw dropped. “Casablanca?” she asked.

 

“The White House?”

 

“No. It’s from the movie Casablanca,” she said. Recognition didn’t click on his face. “Not a fan of the classics then?”

 

“Is that a comic book movie? Perhaps I can rent it.”

 

Bella laughed. She clapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. It’s not a comic book movie.”

 

“No? Then why does it have a comic shop in it?”

 

“It doesn’t…” Bella laughed again. This was the most ridiculous conversation she’d ever been a part of. “Forget I said anything. So what’s the plan? What’s the first step?”

 

“Well…” Edward glanced around the shop. “What are they doing?” he pointed to the tables.

 

“Different things. Mostly tabletop gaming though.” He looked at her blankly. “Dungeons and Dragons?” Nothing registered. “Oookay. You’re a total newb, huh? Wow, how do you explain tabletop gaming? That’s kind of advanced geek.”

 

He put his elbows on the counter, leaning in her direction. “Perhaps we should start at something not so advanced.”

 

There was something about his eyes that made Bella lose her train of thought, if only for a few moments. “Um. Yeah, okay. Let’s see. How about classic fandom. How do you feel about Star Trek?”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh, jeez.”

**~0~**

Edward was waiting on the couch in the living room when Rosalie got back from work.

 

“Do you know what Casablanca is?” he asked.

 

“The White House?”

 

“That’s what I said. Bella called it a classic.”

 

Rosalie laughed. “Oh, Emmett is always telling me things are classic. Movies. Cars. Sometimes it means old and sometimes it means something that everyone should know about.”

 

“Hmm.” Edward stroked his chin.”We’ll ask him when he comes over then.”

 

“So you going to tell me how it went or what?”

 

Edward summarized the interaction he’d had with Bella that afternoon. All in all, it was a success. She seemed engaged in their conversation, always returning to him after she helped other customers, and she seemed to like telling him about things. She’d gone on at length about Star Trek and about how the new ones were very problematic in a lot of ways and Gene Roddenberry would be rolling over in his grave. Despite all her griping about it, she ended up admitting she’d seen the first one at least four times in theaters.

 

“You’re trying to tell me your whole burgeoning dork excuse actually worked?” Rosalie said, her eyes comically wide. “Wow. That’s usually a repellant.”

 

“She works in a comic book shop.”

 

“Ah, you have a point. Plus you’ve got the whole air of mystery thing going on. Who has the time to just decide to be a geek? Some girls are charmed by quirky.”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not trying to charm her.”

 

She held up her hands in a placating gesture. “The point, genius, is that she’s interested enough to keep talking to you. That was the point, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, then? This is a good start.”

 

Edward frowned. “Possibly.”

 

She tilted her head, looking at him. “Something went wrong.”

 

“Not wrong.” He hesitated. “I healed her.”

 

Rosalie sat up straight, obviously not pleased. “What?”

 

“It was minor. A pulled and irritated muscle. And I was able to give her a plausible excuse.”

 

He explained, and she calmed. Somewhat. “Why did you do it?”

 

“I couldn’t bear to see her in pain.”

 

“Life is pain, Edward.”

 

“So you’ve said, but she’s had enough pain. I will spare her where I can.”

 

“Just be careful.”

  
“I will. Of course, I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to barburella, songster, jessypt, and Capricorn75. Dunno where I’d be without you girls.
> 
> Well, my gorgeous readers, in case you hadn’t heard, I’m suffering from a bodacious bout of depression. It’s really made writing this particular fic difficult since my head is cloudy and this genre is VERY new to me. Bear with me. I’ll get updates out to you as I can.
> 
> And thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your support. You’ve saved me more than once.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, babycakes! How goes it. My lovely everydaybella has agreed to update this tale for me. I’m so spoiled.

“Okay.” Bella hopped up on the counter and drew her legs up into a cross-legged position and looked down at Edward. “Fandoms can be intense, so I want to start you off with something simple. We don’t want to scare you off.”

 

His lip twitched. “I don’t scare easy.”

 

“Says the man who’s never been to a convention.” She wagged a finger in his face playfully. “Fan is short for fanatic. I’m a fangirl, and even I get scared at the intensity sometimes.”

 

He nodded, looking amused. “As always, I defer to your greater experience.”

 

Bella smirked. She always got a kick out of the way this guy talked. “Like I was saying, we need something simple. Let’s start with the reason Fox can go suck a big fat dick.”

 

Edward wrinkled his nose. “Fox?”

 

“Fox, the television network.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

The look on his face suggested he was still confused, but Bella figured she had to be mistaken. Who didn’t know the Fox network? “Firefly was a show on Fox many moons ago. It’s what you’d call a cult classic. It was a television show—a sci-fi Western. Cowboys in space.”

 

Again, Edward seemed perplexed. “Horses in spacesuits?” he said, only half joking.

 

“That would be badass, but no. Though there is an episode where a gun wears a spacesuit.”

 

“Oh...kay.”

 

Bella laughed at his dubious expression. “You’re just going to have to trust me. Firefly is the best. It’s super easy to get into and easy to, uh… consume, I guess? It only lasted fourteen episodes before Fox yanked the series.” She shook her head, pissed even though she’d been a very small child when it originally aired. “It was a stupid ass move on their part. How the hell are you going to cancel a show before it finds its audience?

 

“Anyway. You got fourteen episodes and then Serenity.”

 

“Serenity? You mean it’s so good you die afterward?”

 

“No. Ha. I’ve never thought of it that way. No, Serenity is the movie they made, and it’s the name of the ship. Their space ship.” She reached for the model she’d moved up to the counter before she began the lecture and ran her fingers reverently over the die-cast metal. “This is Serenity.”

 

“It’s… er… interesting.”

 

Bella snickered. “Just watch. By the time you get through the series, you’ll love the ship as much as Mal does. Anyway.” She dragged a box of comics she’d set aside over to her and began to rummage through it. “It leaves you wanting more. So many stories they didn’t get a chance to flesh out.” She shook her head, bringing out a stack of comics. “Especially after the end of the movie. If that doesn’t break your heart, nothing will.

 

“So after you’re done with the series and the movie, you move on to these.” She set the comics on the counter. “Leaves on the Wind is the newest series, and it’s my favorite. You finally get to see Mal and Inara together.”

 

“Whoa. Hey. What is it you say? Spoiler alert.”

 

“Oh, please.” Bella rolled her eyes. “If you don’t know that Mal and Inara are going to bone from the minute you see them in the same room, you’re just not paying attention. Fucking Joss Whedon, man. Why couldn’t he give us an on screen kiss? Just one. Bastard.

 

“Anyway. First thing’s first. You have to watch the show. Do you have Netflix?”

 

“I… yes.”

 

“Netflix will be your best friend on this journey,” she said with mock gravity. “Firefly is your homework. Then, I bet I’m going to make a killing on commissions because if you don’t want the whole line of books…” She patted the stack of comic books she’d brought out. “Well, buddy, you’re not worth knowing.”

 

Edward met her eyes with that lopsided smile of his. “I’m sure I’ll enjoy it if you love it so much.”

 

“Well, I do have great taste.”

 

Bella was distracted from their conversation when the door jangled. She looked up and was only somewhat surprised to see James walk in. “Excuse me,” she said to Edward, and she jumped down from the counter.

 

“Hey, hella Bella,” James said, setting the backpack he carried down on one of the chairs so he could pull her into a hug.

 

“Hey.” She gave him a quick squeeze and stepped back. “What are you doing here? Are you finally coming to the dark side? We have cookies and twelve-sided die.”

 

James scoffed. “Yeah right. I actually like getting laid.”

 

“I get laid when I want to.”

 

“By your fellow geeks? No thanks.”

 

Bella gave her friend a good natured shove. “What do you want, huh?”

 

“I gotta want something?”

 

“You usually do.”

 

James narrowed his eyes, but then he shrugged. “Well, this time I just want to take my friend out to lunch. That’s all. I swear.”

 

“I’m working.”

 

“You get a lunch break.”

 

Bella crossed her arms. “Eric will be here in an hour. Then I can take a lunch break.”

 

“Okay. I’ll see what trouble I can get into and swing back for you.”

 

Just as James got to the door, Edward cleared his throat. “Excuse me?”

 

Both Bella and James turned toward Edward. For some inexplicable reason, Bella’s hands turned into fists at her sides. She wasn’t sure she wanted James and Edward interacting. James just cocked an eyebrow.

 

Edward smiled. It was an odd smile that sent shivers down Bella’s spine. In that moment, there was something powerful in Edward’s eyes. There was something else there too.

 

Serenity, Bella thought, and she didn’t really know where that had come from.

 

Edward, his eyes still fixed on James, pointed at a chair. “You’re forgetting your backpack.”

 

To Bella’s surprise, James’s jaw was tense. She saw a flicker of irritation go through him before he masked his reaction and grinned. “Hey. Thanks.”

 

Edward nodded in a regal sort of way. “Of course.”

 

James shouldered his backpack, his gaze lingering on Edward another moment before he turned to Bella. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

 

As he left the shop, Edward’s eyes followed him, and Bella could tell that James wasn’t unaware of the other man’s gaze. She stiffened, long able to sense friction. She remembered this feeling well from high school. James got that look on his face, and sooner or later, there was going to be a fight.

 

When James’s car had peeled out of the parking lot, Edward turned back to Bella. His expression was still as serene as it had been moments before, but that odd sense of power had dissipated.

 

“James is a good friend,” Bella said. This seemed important somehow.

 

Edward cocked his head. “Is he?”

 

The way he said it wasn’t condescending or even challenging. The words came out as a simple inquiry, as though he was genuinely curious.

 

“James is like a brother to me.” Bella looked down at her hands. She had no idea why the hell she was talking about this with a near total stranger, but the words came out without her consent. “We were both in the system.”

 

“The system?”

 

“The foster system.” She tensed, waiting for the reaction of pity that usually came with that announcement.

 

“I understand the connection then,” he said instead. “I have many brothers and sisters in that case.”

 

Bella’s head snapped up. “No way. You’re a fellow freeloader?”

 

“Freeloader?”

 

“Ah.” Bella rolled her eyes. “Sorry. My last foster bitch used to call us that. Ungrateful freeloaders.”

 

Edward quirked an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. “I suppose, by definition, all children are freeloaders, though it seems a particularly stupid thing to say in this case. After all, she got paid to feed you, clothe you, and shelter you. Perhaps she disagreed with the legislation of child labor laws back in the twenties.”

 

“I know, right? Visits from our social worker put an end to her dreams of opening up a sweatshop.”

 

“To answer your question, yes, I grew up in the system in Chicago. In fact, I’m staying with my sister. We hadn’t spoken in a couple of years, but she took me in without question.”

 

“Yes. Exactly. You know what it’s like. James has his moments, but he would do anything for me.”

 

“I don’t doubt that.” His features took on a more serious look. “However, kinship doesn’t mean you actually owe anything to him. Or that he really has your best interest at heart.”

 

Bella narrowed her eyes. “You don’t know James.”

 

Edward’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. I wasn’t talking about your friend. I was making general conversation.” Something unreadable flashed in his eyes. “I don’t know him at all, of course. I just know plenty of my brothers and sisters got into unfortunate situations. They tried to drag me down with them because they expected that bond would overwrite everything else.”

 

The air between them was getting weirdly intense, and Bella had to look down. She was defensive, and she didn’t understand why. “Yeah, well. James isn’t like that.”

 

“As I said, I was speaking in general terms.”

 

“Right.”

**~0~**

Two weeks went by. Edward tried to space out his visits so Bella would think they were incidental. Rosalie had warned him that most women got spooked by stalkers.

 

As far as he could tell, Bella wasn’t at all suspicious of him. She was, however, getting suspicious of why James was hanging around more often. Edward excused himself to go into the back room, where there was a quiet place to read. He listened to Bella and James’s whispered conversation through the medium of James’s thoughts.

 

“It’s creepy that he’s here so much,” James said.

 

Bella laughed. “This is normal nerd behavior. You see those kids?” Bella pointed to a few tabletop gamers in one corner. “They’re in here up to five days a week.”

 

“Yeah, but they’re kids. That guy is older than us. You’re delusional if you think he’s here for the nerd stuff.”

 

Edward might have given James credit for being perceptive, except that he could hear the man’s thoughts. James was playing it off that he was worried for Bella, but he wasn’t. He did have the sneaking suspicion Edward was a cop who was on to the fact James had been using Bella’s workplace as a drop point.

 

“Guys his age have more important places to be at three in the afternoon than a comic book shop,” James said. “Why doesn’t he have a job?”

 

“Yeah, you’re one to talk. Are you trying to say people who hang around not working at this time in the afternoon are up to no good?”

 

If only Bella acknowledged the truth behind her own words. James wasn’t up to any good. Edward knew Bella wasn’t completely naive. She knew James and her other friends weren’t making their money legally. But she was too trusting of the bond between them. It seemed to Edward that it never crossed her mind that her friends might use her for their own gain.

 

“I don’t like him,” James said. “And I don’t like him near you.”

 

James was out to save his own skin, and he wasn’t even being rational in his paranoia. If he thought about it for a few minutes, he’d have realized that if Edward was, as James suspected, an undercover cop, he would have let him leave the backpack full of drugs two weeks before.

 

“What the hell has gotten into you anyway?” Bella asked James. “Even if the guy was creeping on me, why do you give a fuck? I can take care of myself, first of all. Secondly, he hasn’t even tried to touch me. Well…”

 

Edward watched from James’s thoughts as Bella blushed. James laughed. “So that’s why you don’t want to believe he’s a pervert. You like him.”

 

Bella glared. “Oh, shut up.”

 

“You do. Look at you. You’re all red.”

 

“Feel free to go away now.”

 

James huffed, more irritated than amused. “Yeah, I see how it is. A guy has an ugly mug like mine, you’d have called the cops on him already. I’m secure enough in my manhood to see he’s attractive. Girls don’t mind being stalked by a guy that pretty.”

 

“Jesus Christ. He’s not stalking me. Guy shows up at a comic book shop and talks about comic books.”

 

“Have you asked your coworkers if he’s ever been here when you weren’t here?”

 

Bella was quiet at that.

 

“See?” James said.

 

“That’s a coincidence.”

 

“Uh huh. Whatever.”

 

Edward decided this conversation had gone on long enough. He gathered up the comics he’d long ago set aside for purchase—they were on to the Marvel universe now—and stepped heavily so they would hear him coming.

 

James was leaning up against the counter, quiet and contemplative as Bella stepped over to Edward. She smiled, and he was relieved to see the smile was still genuine—not suspicious in the slightest.

 

“So what’s the verdict?”

 

“I like the rapport between Black Widow and Captain America in these books.”

 

Bella grinned. “Wait until you see the movies. It’s different. Still great, but different. I like her better with Hawkeye than Steve.” She shuddered. “And definitely better than with Bucky. That just seems wrong, especially after Winter Soldier.”

 

“I thought she and Bucky were good together in the comics you gave me the other day.”

 

“That’s just because you haven’t seen the movies yet. Watch them; then we’ll discuss ships.”

 

Edward hummed. “Well, I’ll have to look out for what you’re talking about.” He pushed a small stack of comics toward her. “I’ll take these.”

 

“Your collection is really starting to shape up,” Bella said as she rang up his purchases.

 

“It’s surprisingly enjoyable,” he said, and this was an honest assessment. Though it wasn’t his primary goal, he was enjoying the intricacies of fandom and fiction. As an angel, it wasn’t something he’d ever thought of before—the way fiction was a form of expression. There was a lot of psychology to be read into the

 

“I’m glad you’re having a good time with it.” Her eyes darted to James, and there was something nervous about the set of her mouth. Edward wondered if she would have said something else if he wasn’t there.

 

“Well, what say you, sensei? Do I have enough background knowledge to start watching the movies now?”

 

She sighed with mock gravity. “I suppose I’ll allow it.” She pushed a piece of paper toward him. “I wrote a chronological watch list including the shorts and the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes.” She wagged a finger at him. “Don’t skip. Marvel movie-verse is different from the comics. This is intricate stuff.” She furrowed her brow. “Maybe we should have moved on to a simpler universe, but Age of Ultron is coming up in a couple months…”

 

Edward laughed, and James snorted. Not looking to the other man, Edward smiled at Bella. “I think I can keep up.”

 

“You can try.”

 

Edward didn’t realize he’d reached out to touch Bella’s hand—a simple brush of his fingers over her knuckles—until he saw it through James’s thoughts. Had he done that before? He couldn’t remember. He thought he heard Bella’s heart rate accelerate, but her smile didn’t falter. She didn’t pull away or look uncomfortable.

 

“I’ll see you soon,” Edward said.

 

Though he knew he shouldn’t, Edward made eye contact with James as he gathered his purchases. The man was practically shouting at him in his head.

 

To give him some measure of credit, there was now a hint of genuine concern tangled with his self-righteous indignation and paranoia. He still thought Edward was a cop, and part of him was trying to figure out why he was targeting Bella. Was he trying to get to James and the rest of his crew through his friendship with Bella? Did he think Bella was tangled up in their business? Mixed in with all that, he was beginning to wonder if he was actually right about the whole stalker thing.

 

Is this DEA asshole trying to get him some on the side?

 

Of course, that added hint of protectiveness was pushing James toward the edge of action. What he was going to do wasn’t yet a firm idea in his head, but he clearly thought Edward needed to be dealt with.

 

Edward smiled at him, letting a hint of challenge come into his eyes. “Hello, Bella’s friend.” He turned back to Bella and winked at her, more to get James’s goat than anything. “Bye.” He turned back to James with a cocky grin. “Goodbye, Bella’s friend,” he said airily and strode out.

 

When he was out of sight of the shop, Edward let himself think of what else had been going through James’s head.

 

Oh, yeah. Bella likes this fucking pervert.

 

Of course Bella liked him. That was the idea, was it not? He was trying to be her friend, and people typically liked their friends. Surely James was reading more into it because he was irritated. That and Edward had noticed if a human female and male so much as smiled at each other, people around them decided they were desperately in love.

 

Humans could be rather melodramatic.

 

Not for the first time, Edward was frustrated by the fact he could no longer read Bella’s mind. What did she think of him? Did it matter if she was attracted to him? Rosalie and now James had confirmed this vessel was attractive, but what did that mean at the end of the day?

 

Oh, well. Bella still trusted him, and that was the main factor. If she liked him in a way that was more than friendly… well…

 

Edward smiled before he could help it, finding the idea caused him perhaps more pleasure than it should have.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Bella, GeekChic, songster, and barbureall for all their help! Special thanks to Bella for the Marvel nerdiness. Woo.
> 
> Thanks for being so patient with me, kids. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This flipping story! Thanks for being patient, kids.

Edward landed in his usual spot--a dingy alley a couple of blocks from the comic shop. When he was sure no human eyes could see, he materialized. He was still for a moment, soaking in the atmosphere, the weather and the general mood of the people in the vicinity. He straightened his coat and, as he moved out of the alley onto the sidewalk, he opened his consciousness to the minds all around him.

Laundry. Boyfriend problems. Work problems. Family problems. Cats. The usual.

The usual in this neighborhood included an endless number of troubling thoughts as well.

What Bella didn’t know was that the neighborhood around where she worked was a hotbed of illegal activity. Specifically it was the centralized location of a network of criminals headed by the Scarpinato family. James, Laurent, Victoria, and Peter all had their hands in various shady dealings courtesy of the family, and Bella didn’t know that either. When one of the Scarpinato brothers heard they had a friend with a legitimate job at a legitimate business conveniently near their base of operations, he had been very happy.

Mostly, the shop was used as a drop point. The kids that milled around at the gaming tables all had backpacks, and it was too easy for James or one of the others to drop by to hang out with Bella, leaning a backpack inconspicuously under a table or hanging off a chair. It would always be gone before closing time, before anyone noticed.

When Bella closed the shop on her own, bigger shipments of more dangerous things found their way into the storeroom in the back of the shop. James always showed up to walk her home. He made the excuse of a bathroom break or was in the back to help her pack up. He disabled the alarm and left the backdoor open. When the owner arrived the next morning, the door was locked, the alarm on, and nothing ever looked amiss.

Occasionally, the Scarpinato family even laundered money through the comic shop. An eccentric collector would appear and put a knick-knack that was supposedly a relic of some obscure fandom up for consignment at an obnoxious price. The item was, of course, always bought some random amount of time later.

Bella and everyone else who worked at the shop remained ignorant.

To their credit, Bella’s friends truly didn’t believe she was at risk. The idea Bella would be culpable if the illegal activity was discovered didn’t enter their thought process. Even when they did think about the possibility they might get caught, none of them understood that she could be prosecuted as well. As low level thugs, they also weren’t privy to the knowledge of just how dangerous the Scarpinato family was. They were much more than petty thieves and drug dealers, but James and the others weren’t in the know. James didn’t even know what happened after he unlocked the door to the shop.

Still, the practical result remained the same regardless of her friends’ intentions. Bella was surrounded by all manner of nefarious people on a near constant basis. It was no surprise that Edward caught the thoughts and conversation of a trio of thugs with menace on their minds hanging out right around the corner from the shop. He was somewhat taken aback, however, when it occurred to him the description of the man they were looking for matched his vessel quite well.

Startled and needing to be out of sight, Edward ducked into the nearest shop and opened his consciousness again, finding the three minds that appeared to be waiting for him. He listened to the description again. Yes, that did indeed sound like him.

The words pretty boy had a derisive tone about them even in their thoughts. Edward wondered why that was. Not that it was important at the moment; it merely made him curious.

“Sir?”

Edward turned his head, realizing belatedly that not one but two of the shop’s workers were trying to get his attention and had been for some time. The one currently speaking was male. The female one stood a small distance behind him. He looked annoyed. She looked, well… a little afraid.

“Is there something I can help you with?” the man asked, his tone and stare only barely civil.

It occurred to Edward then that the shop he’d ducked into was a lingerie shop, and he had been spaced out for some minutes surrounded by displays of panties. He read the emotions of the people in the shop and found they were rather disturbed. Creeper echoed in the heads of several of them.

The attendant cleared his throat. “Are you looking for something for your wife or girlfriend perhaps?”

Sensing he was about to be bodily removed from the store, Edward grabbed something lacy. “This. I think she would enjoy it.” He thrust the silky mass at the man.

The worker looked at him, reaching for the underwear slowly, as though expecting it was a trick. He took the items from him. “Okay. Good choice,” he said though he hadn’t taken his eyes off Edward. “If you’re done shopping, I’ll ring you up.”

Edward nodded, but the majority of his attention was refocused on the three thugs. He searched their minds, trying to figure out what they wanted with him. They were supposed to get his wallet; more specifically, they were supposed to get his identification. A thankless task if ever Edward had heard of one.

“How will you be paying, sir?

Edward finally looked up. He looked straight into the man’s eyes, and he smiled. With that smile, the attendant’s version of reality rewrote itself, and a need became satisfied. He believed the transaction to be complete, and handed the bag to Edward. “Have a lovely day, sir.”

Though he wanted more time to figure out what was going on with the three thugs, Edward knew it was best to move on. At least out of a lingerie shop where he appeared to be out of place.

Luckily, as he neared the comic book shop and the three thugs waiting for him, one of them finally replayed their exact instructions.

“No knives, no guns,” a man Edward had never seen said in the woman’s memory. “The last thing we need is the cops investigating a murder in the neighborhood. Rough him up but not seriously. We don’t need him hospitalized either just in case he’s some big shot. Just get his wallet and get back here without being seen.”

Interesting.

No part of Edward was worried. He was merely curious. These three couldn’t hurt him with any kind of permanence. Even if they did try to stab him, it would have little effect. His vessel would bleed, but Edward would simply repair any damage.

As for self-defense, well, Edward could rip them apart at the atomic level with a simple thought. He could defend himself and have all three of them incapacitated with ease. They knew nothing about him, after all. For all they knew, he could be a martial arts expert. But then again, it would take care and precision if things got complicated. He couldn’t have things escalate to the point his secret would be revealed, and he couldn’t chance that he would kill them simply because humans were so frail.

He wondered if he was one of these humans’ fixed points. Death via avenging angel. That would be a unique way to die. Was one of his brothers even now preparing to oversee the event? If so, Edward wished that angel would do him the favor of letting him know so he could be sanguine in what he was supposed to do.

He was still unused to the idea of not having direct orders to follow.

Edward decided to let the thugs beat him. He could play helpless human--why not. Anyway, he didn’t have what they wanted. He did carry a wallet, but it only had a little paper money in it. He always had a bit of money thanks to a nifty angel trick utilized to his benefit. He could find every piece of lost money on the planet, so it was only a matter of a quick expedition whenever he needed cash.

He would let himself get beaten, and the three thugs could split whatever cash he had on him. They would have to be satisfied with that.

Decided, Edward spent the rest of the short walk trying to prepare for his role. He had been a warrior for eons. Playing the helpless pacifist would hardly be in character.

They sent the woman to lure him. She was a pretty thing who was used to her smile getting her most of what she wanted and her body getting the rest. She fixed him with a grin that was supposed to make him feel like the bright center of the universe. “Hello. I’m so sorry to bother you. Do you have a second?”

“I suppose that would depend on what it’s for,” Edward said, playing along.

“It’s just that the assholes from the store dumped my purchase in the back and took off. I can’t get it in my car.” Her smile turned sheepish. “Do you think you can help me get it in the trunk?” She batted her eyelashes at him. “It’s only one box.”

Edward tilted his head, studying her. “What’s your name?”

She blinked at him as though she were slightly dazed. “Um, Heidi. I’m Heidi.”

“I’m Edward,” he said with a smile. Let her have that much in case her boss was angry. “I’ll help you.”

“Great.” She looked away from Edward, and inwardly told herself to get a grip. “My car’s over here.”

She led the way down an alley right next to the comic shop. There, of course, Heidi’s two friends leapt out. One of them was huge--an imposing figure built large and lean like Emmett. The other was more lithe. They were both very fast--fast enough Edward wouldn’t have been able to catch a good glimpse of them if he was a human.

The large one--Felix, Edward gleaned from the thoughts of the others--drove his fist into Edward’s stomach. Registering the pain of his human body, Edward let his knees buckle, sending him to the pavement. He was pulled back to this feet by the one called Demetri and Felix dealt a solid punch to the mouth.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, making his voice a whine.

“Shut up,” Felix said, and Demetri shoved him into the brick wall. “Did anyone ask you to talk, you piece of shit?”

But he’d already answered Edward’s question. A memory had been triggered, and Edward caught enough of it to get the information he needed.

As it turned out, Felix was a direct cousin to the Scarpinatos which made him a lot higher up than the other thugs. James had groused about the man Bella had been hanging around with. He’d thwarted James’s attempt at a drop five times over the last few weeks. Felix had brought the matter to one of the brothers. It was decided they needed to know who Edward was--particularly if he was some kind of law enforcement.

Edward was officially on the Scarpinato family’s radar.

As he processed this, Demetri was yanking his jacket off. “Please,” Edward said for good measure. He struggled, giving the idea he was trying to fight back.

Felix hit him again. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”

Demetri yanked him up again and pushed him face first against the wall, shoving his hands in Edward’s pockets.

“Hey, you fucking pricks. Get the fuck away from him.”

They all turned their heads toward the furious voice, and Edward groaned. It was Bella, and she was charging at them with a fierce look on her face and a baseball bat in her hand. Of course she was going to throw herself into the melee. The idea shouldn’t even surprise him. She’d been doing this kind of thing since she was tiny.

Edward straightened up despite the fact Demetri had his arm twisted behind his back. He jerked in his hold, not trying to break free, but repositioning all of them with his stumbling so he was between Bella and the thugs. He was on high alert now, because things could get tricky. Bella and keeping her safe was always Edward’s primary mission, but if he could do that without revealing himself, that would be ideal.

Heidi was the one who took it on herself to deal with Bella. “Hey, bitch,” she said, taking a few threatening steps in her direction. “This is personal business. Get the hell out of here.”

“You fucking wish.” Bella swung the bat, making Heidi and Felix jump backward.

Demetri’s grip loosened enough that any human could have gotten free. Edward bucked, sending Demetri stumbling away from him. He staggered forward, closer to Bella and within easy striking distance of Heidi in case she decided to pull the knife hidden in her boot.

“I called the cops,” Bella said, swinging her bat again to keep them at bay.

Felix laughed, and Edward gritted his teeth in fury at the turn the man’s thoughts took. In that moment, Felix wanted more than anything to make Bella suffer because now he had to run and it was her fault. In that moment, he imagined a hundred ways he wanted to hurt her. But he didn’t have the time. He whistled, calling off his dogs. “These little shits aren’t worth it. Let’s get gone,” he said.

They ran, taking Edward’s jacket and wallet with them. Bella ran to him and threw her arm around his waist as though she expected he needed help standing.

From start to finish, the whole interaction had taken less than five minutes.

“Are you okay?” Bella asked. “Can you walk?”

“I’m fine,” he said, most of his mind concentrated on the progress of the three thugs. They were chafing, and Edward didn’t trust them not to turn around. “How did you know what was happening?”

“One of the kids saw them jump you and ran to tell me.”

The three got further away, giving up the idea of going back, and Edward whirled on Bella. He shrugged off her helping hand and fixed her with a hard stare. “I’m fine, but I’m certain that you have a death wish. What on earth possessed you to come at them like that?”

She balked and waved a hand. “Hello? They were beating the shit out of you.”

“And you called the police. Why didn’t you wait for them to help?”

Bella scoffed. “I didn’t bother to call the police. You would have been dead by the time they got here.”

“They weren’t going to kill me.”

“How do you know?”

Of course, Edward couldn’t answer that question. “Even if they were trying to kill me, that’s all the more reason you should have done that. There were three of them, Bella, and they could have had weapons.”

“That was why I did it. I had a weapon.” She brandished her bat. “You didn’t.”

He let out a frustrated growl and rushed at her, taking her startled face between his hands. “You...you...You are a very silly, impulsive girl, and you’re not as unbreakable as you act. Please be aware of your own mortality, Bella. You are precious. Do you not understand that?”

Her eyes were wide, shocked, and he could hear her heartbeat pick up to the same rhythm it had been during the confrontation. She swallowed several times before she spoke. “I can take care of myself.”

“So can I,” he said. He stepped back, dropping his hands back to his sides with a sigh. He wondered what had come over him to make him grab her like that. It was very strange.

Bella snorted. “Yeah, it looks like you were doing a great job of that. No offense.” She ducked her head, her eyes on him, looking him over. “Are you sure you’re okay? We should get you inside, clean you up at least. Maybe get some sugar in you.”

“Sugar?”

“You’re probably going to go into shock. Hello? You were just assaulted, and it’s like it’s not even registering. You’re bleeding; do you know that?”

Following her gaze, Edward put a hand to his lip, realizing it was split. He looked at the blood on his fingers with mild curiosity. If he was human, he’d be in a tremendous amount of pain. His mouth was cut up, and Felix’s last punch has bruised his ribs. Bella was likely right. He should have been going into shock by now. “It must be the adrenaline rush. They’re very common.”

“Okay, sure.” She seemed bemused which was likely better than skeptical. “Come on.”

Edward was well aware she was watching him closely as they moved out of the alley and walked the short distance to the comic shop. It was normal, he supposed. Being assaulted was a traumatic event. He considered having some sort of belated reaction, but decided against it. Hopefully, Bella would figure that this was just the way Edward dealt with trauma.

“Did they get anything?” Bella asked as they walked.

“My jacket and wallet.”

“Hmm. Well, we can call the police if you want. They’ll take forever to get here, and they’ll treat you like crap. Maybe. Maybe not. After all, you’re not some punk-ass kid, so I don’t know. They might care a little bit, but either way, there won’t be much they can do. A police report would help you if they steal your identity though, so there’s that to consider.”

It was sad that Bella, twenty-years-old, was experienced and jaded enough to give such a thorough rundown of his options. “There’s no need to involve the police. You’re right. They won’t be in much of a rush to recover a jacket and a few dollars. I didn’t have any identifying information on me, so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Hey, at least they didn’t take this,” Bella said, lifting her arm to reveal a shopping bag.

It took Edward a few seconds to realize it was the bag from the lingerie shop. He must have dropped it during the confrontation. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I...can explain,” he said even though he couldn’t.

Bella held the door of her store open for him. “Hey, man, it’s none of my business.”

The boys in the shop stared as Edward and Bella entered. “Dude,” one of them said, looking Edward up and down. “You’re all fucked up.”

Humans, Edward had observed more than once, were prone to exaggeration and none more so than teenagers. He frowned at the kid and touched a hand to his lip again.

“Leave him alone Jared,” Bella said. “He’s had a bad day.”

“Did Bella have to kick their asses for you, man?” the other kid asked, and he scoffed, his look derisive. “That’s a pussy move.”

“Hey, shut up, Paul. You were about ready to piss your pants when you ran in here.” Bella shook her head and took Edward by the wrist. “Come on.”

Edward let Bella guide him into the back office and into the boss’s comfortable chair. She started to rummage through drawers and went into the bathroom, eventually coming back with a damp towel and a first aid kit.

It was a peculiar thing, Edward thought, to sit still and let her doctor him. A human taking care of an angel. He supposed stranger things had happened, but he couldn’t think of one right then.

“You’re a good patient,” Bella said as she dabbed a peroxide-laden cotton ball at his various scrapes and cuts. “This has to sting, but you’re holding so still.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” he said truthfully. In fact, it was quite the opposite of painful to sit here with her soft palm against his cheek, holding his head steady as she dabbed.

“Is this more of your alternative medicine healing stuff? Is that why you’re so still?”

Edward smiled. “Something to that effect, yes.”

“You should at least be shaking.” She pulled back, showing him her trembling hand. “I was scared for you.”

He took her hands in his, sending a subtle wave of warmth from his body into hers. “I was afraid,” he lied. “But I feel very safe when I’m with you.”

Her lips quirked and she laughed--that nervous kind of laughter humans did when the atmosphere was too intense. “You’re so full of shit. I thought you didn’t want me to save you.’

“I don’t, but I hope it’s a moot point. I’m not planning on making it a habit to get beat up. I thought this was a safe neighborhood.”

“It is,” Bella said. Her hands slipped out of his, and she sat on the desk. “Nothing like that has ever happened to me or anyone I know around here.”

“But it’s happened somewhere else?”

He knew the answer to that question, and he asked it very purposefully. If he was ever going to guide her away from her friends, she would need to come to the right conclusions on her own.

Bella sighed. “It hasn’t really happened to me. Nothing like that. My friends used to hang out with the wrong crowd on the wrong side of town, though. They got a little banged up here and there, that’s all.”

“I’m familiar with the type of friend who finds trouble too easily,” Edward said, keeping his voice even and lacking judgment. He squeezed her knee in comfort.

She looked down at him, and it seemed to Edward that the air in the room changed of its own volition. It was one of those moments when he wished fervently he were human, if only for a heartbeat. His body, his human body, was poised for action. It wanted something, but Edward was missing a cue, missing the pertinent information. He didn’t know what it was he was forgetting to do. All he knew was he was locked in her stare. He was more powerful than any other species on the planet, and yet he was, at that moment, quite unable to move.

“Hey, Bella?”

A man called through the back, breaking whatever odd mood had come over both of them. Bella, who had been leaning down toward Edward, straightened up. “In here, Eric.”

Bella’s co-worker appeared in the doorway. He looked at Edward and hissed in sympathy. “When the boys said Bella was playing doctor back here, I expected to find something much sexier going on. What happened? Is everyone okay?”

They explained as Bella cleaned up her operating area. Eric just stared at Edward, shaking his head. “Man, how can you be so blasé? I’m freaking out, and I wasn’t even here.”

Edward cocked his head, looking at the man. “Have you considered I’m simply used to being beaten?”

Both Eric and Bella started in shock. “I… I mean,” Eric stumbled and fidgeted. “That’s fucked up and sad, man. I’m sorry I said anything.”

Edward’s lip twitched. He’d been trying to joke and apparently failed utterly. “I was kidding,” he explained. “And I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

Bella shook her head and patted his shoulder. “Okay. I’m going to clock out, and then I’m taking you home. I think you might be mistaken about them not hitting you on the head, zen master.”

“You’re taking me home?” Edward asked.

“You don’t have a car, right? I never see you with one.”

“No. I don’t have a car.”

“Then it would make me feel a lot better to make sure you get home safe. Is that okay?”

Edward had to smile. The thought of riding in a car had never been appealing to him--too slow and confining. However, riding in a car with Bella didn’t sound unpleasant at all. “I suppose I won’t put up too much of a fuss.”

**  
“Good,” Bella said, looking satisfied. “Let’s go.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella and songster. 
> 
> So! Thoughts?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A few of you asked where Edward was living. Remember he’s staying with Rosalie.

Bella was livid.

 

After she dropped Edward off, she drove straight to James’s place. When she got there, it was Victoria who answered the door. She stood in the doorway, blocking Bella from coming in. “Now isn’t a good time, sunshine.”

 

“I need to see James.”

 

“He’s busy.”

 

“He’s not too busy for this.”

 

“James!” Bella pushed up onto her tiptoes, calling over Victoria’s shoulder. When the other woman let go of the door to push Bella back, she ducked under her arm, getting into the apartment.

 

There she came up short, taken aback when she ran into a solid wall of human being. She looked up, finding herself staring at a hulk of a man. She took a step back, recognizing him as the man from the alley, the one she hadn't known. The intimidating one. The other one she'd seen before, at James's party. That was what she was doing here. She wanted to know why James's friend was beating Edward. She wanted his jacket and his wallet back.

 

A smile that could only be called sinister curled up one side of his face, and Bella took another automatic step backward. He reached out, lightning quick, and grabbed her by her wrists. Bella gasped and yanked her arms backward. He held her fast, his grip becoming painful. "Let go," she said, her teeth gritted against her fear.

 

He laughed. "Not so tough without your bat, huh, baby?"

 

"I'm not your fucking baby, asshole. Get the fuck off me." She tugged again and had to bite her lip to keep from crying out in pain.

 

"Felix, what the hell?" James said. He put his hand to the other man's arm.

 

"We were just talking about you, sweetheart," Felix said, ignoring James. "And here you are." He pulled her further into the apartment.

 

Bella struggled. She kicked at him, aiming at his balls, but he sidestepped her. His cocky smile disappeared, and he propelled her backward with a growl. Bella cried out when her back hit the wall, and yet he kept on coming. He left no space between his body and hers. His body engulfed and dwarfed hers. He tilted his face down so they were nose to nose.

 

Whatever bravado Bella had wavered. She was pinned, and he was strong. So much stronger than her. He lifted her arms above her head and held both of her wrists against the wall in a crushing grip.

 

"Felix!" James was right over his shoulder, his eyebrows knitted, but he didn't pull Felix back. "What are you doing, man? This is Bella. She's my friend. She's my sister."

 

"See, I just wanted to have a conversation." With his free hand, he brushed her hair back, the motion perversely gentle. "You had to be a bitch, when I didn’t do a damn thing to you. Kind of suspicious, isn't it?"

 

"I'm suspicious?" She forced the words out, proud when they didn't shake. He could crush her, and she knew it, but fuck if she was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her fear. "Like you weren't the one beating up my friend? Are you delusional on top of being an asshole?"

 

"Come on, man. You're going to hurt her. Come on," James said.

 

"You took his jacket and his wallet." Though she wanted to turn her head away from his malevolent glare, Bella forced herself to look him in the eyes. "I want them back."

 

Felix's eyes widened ever so slightly in shock at her words, then they narrowed. He huffed and grabbed a fistful of her shirt. Yanking her away from the wall, he threw her to the ground. Bella turned over quickly, not wanting her back to him. "Don't fucking touch me," she yelled, but it wasn't any use. He was already over her. He grabbed her by the shirt again, lifting her up, and shoved her down on the couch.

 

"Sit still." Felix came to stand in front of her, keeping her tied down through intimidation alone. "Let's talk about your friend."

 

"Hey, man." James shoved at Felix's arm, trying to get his attention. "Bella has nothing to do with anything. She doesn't know anything. Okay, Felix?"

 

Felix finally turned to look at him, and James gave him a significant look. "She doesn't know anything. I'm sure of it."

 

What the hell?

 

"What are you talking about?” Bella asked, sitting up straight. “Know what? And what does this have to do with Edward?" It was beginning to sink in to Bella that James's friends weren't merely thugs. Something else was going on here.

 

Felix grunted and looked down on Bella, studying her. “How do you know she’s not working with him?” he asked over his shoulder.

 

“Working with who. Working on what?”

 

“She doesn’t know,” James said. “She really doesn’t.”

 

Victoria, who had been silent to that point, stepped to James’s side. “He’s right. Bella wouldn’t do that to us.”

 

Bella looked between all of them, more confused than ever. “Are any of you going to tell me what the fuck is going on or are you going to keep up with this cryptic bullshit?”

 

Felix took a few steps backward, giving her breathing room.

 

"Sorry, kid," he said easily, as though he'd accidentally bumped into her. "See, I've got what they call anger problems. You pissed me off earlier, waving your damn bat at me, trying to get my ass thrown in jail. And then a few minutes ago when you  tried to kick me in the junk. It’s annoying. Not like someone who I’m trying to protect. You’re acting like people do when they’re defensive, when they’re up to something."

 

Bella chuffed. "Hey, asshat. If your first reaction when someone walks in the door was to get all grabby-hands, you shouldn't be surprised when you get kicked in the nuts."

 

To her surprise and irritation, he laughed, back in control of himself. "Fair enough."

 

"What the hell do you want with Edward?"

 

An odd expression came over Felix's face, one Bella couldn't read, but it was gone almost as soon as she saw it. "James was concerned for you. What does this jackass want with you?"

 

"So you beat him up because James was worried for me?"

 

"Maybe it'll scare him away from your store," Felix said with a shrug.

 

Bella stared at him. "If you attacked him because you were worried for me, why did you just accuse me of working with him? Working with him to what? Kidnap me? Rape me? Rob me? You think I'm in on that plot?"

 

Felix's lips twitched in annoyance. "Like I said; I have a temper. It doesn't always make sense."

 

Bella didn't say anything. She rubbed at her sore wrists, trying to connect all the pieces. "Why the hell do you care about me? You don't know me."

 

"James knows you. We were helping because you're his sister, like he said." Felix grinned. "Perks of being--"

 

"Stop. I don't want to know." She had to swallow hard. Even after all this time, it was frustrating to know James was tangled up with assholes like this. "I don't want to know anything about whatever you have him mixed up in. I don't want to hear it."

 

She turned to James. "What did you tell them about Edward?"

 

James had the decency to look slightly ashamed. "He's a fucking creeper, Bella. I'm telling you."

 

"He's my friend."

 

"Did you know his wallet was empty. No credit cards. No fucking ID. That’s some shady shit right there.”

 

"Oh, my god. Do you even realize what the fuck you're saying?" Bella got to her feet so she could get in James's face. "What's in Edward's wallet is none of your fucking business. You stole it from him. Your asshole friends beat him for it."

 

"I didn't ask anyone to do that, but I'm glad they did. He's up to something." He gave a wry laugh. "Hey, whatever, maybe I know the type, right?"

 

"You don't know a damn thing about him. He's a sweet guy who doesn't deserve to suffer just because you and your friends are paranoid assholes." She made a disgusted noise. "Do you ever stop to listen to yourselves? Somebody's always trying to take something from you, or they insulted you, or they did who the fuck knows what to offend your delicate sensibilities. Jesus fucking Christ."

 

She shook her head, sadness overtaking anger. "Jamie. People are just trying to live their own lives. It's not all about you and whatever the hell you're doing. How the hell do you live like this? If you're doing something so bad, you're suspicious of a random guy who's never so much as looked at you wrong, to the point you'd jump him? That's fucked up. Can't you see that?"

 

James's shoulders rose and fell sharply with each breath. His eyes were narrowed, but his voice was controlled when he spoke. "I was worried for you."

 

"Yeah, well. I can take care of myself." She walked to the door, relieved when none of them tried to stop her. "And I don't believe you anyway."

 

She'd spotted Edward's coat on a chair by the door. She grabbed it and left, blinking away tears. Someday she would accept there was nothing she could do about her friends' bad choices. Today wasn't that day.

~0~

“You know, Edward, in a human context, if you watch the movie you’re supposed to watch with a girl ahead of time just so you can watch her instead...that’d be a little creepy.”

 

Edward turned to look at Rosalie, perplexed. “Why? Isn’t the point of doing something with a friend to spend time concentrated on them?”

 

She sat on the couch next to him. “Not quite so concentrated. You’re both supposed to enjoy the experience of the movie together.”

 

“But she’s seen it.”

 

“She’ll get enjoyment out of seeing you experience it for the first time.”

 

Edward arched an eyebrow. “So she’ll be watching me, and that isn’t creepy. But if I see a movie ahead of time so I’m free to watch her, that is creepy?” He furrowed his brow. “What does that mean? Creepy. I know the definition of course, but I’m not sure I understand the usage.”

 

Rosalie laughed. “You know, when I fell, I missed you very much, brother. I missed you more than I missed anything else.” She ruffled his hair. “I was trying to tease you, but it’s not as much fun when it goes over that flighty head of yours. Flighty. That’s a great pun. Get it?”

 

He stared and she rolled her eyes. “Anyway. Most of the time, if you want to stare at a woman rather than a movie, it’s because you want to kiss her. Among other things.”

 

He balked. “You’re right. That is creepy. Shouldn’t I be appreciating the things she enjoys, why she enjoys them, rather than imagining something so physical?”

 

“So serious.” Rosalie’s eyes gleamed. “Yet, I notice you didn’t deny the attraction.”

 

“We’re speaking theoretically.”

 

“Oh, are we?”

 

Edward glared at his sister, somewhat perplexed. There were times he suspected she was talking about something completely other than what her words were saying. “You know it takes a little more effort for me to seem human.”

 

His angelic brain could process much more than a human brain could all at once. When he first watched a movie, he became mired down in the nuances of fact versus fiction. So much of fiction wasn’t possible. Without exception, every work of fiction--book, movie, television show--got many mundane facts wrong. Then, Edward saw the plot holes--threads that were left unexplained, people who wandered on screen for no real purpose. Then came the endless questions. Was part of the definition of a hero someone who wreaks total destruction in the pursuit of vigilante justice? The events of these movies were supposed to take place in the real world. In the world as it currently existed, wouldn’t it be more likely that those heroes would be contained at all costs? There was no way the civilian casualty count in some of these movies wasn’t extravagant.

 

All of it and more he processed in every second, and he knew from watching television with Rosalie and Emmett that humans didn’t like to question things to that extent. Emmett in particular didn’t like to think about fiction at all. He’d told Edward more than once, “Just enjoy the show, dammit.”

 

“I thought nerds liked to dissect their shows,” Rosalie said.

 

“Oh, yes. They do.” Edward grinned. “The nuance they pick up on is nothing short of incredible, and watching these movies, I am beginning to understand what these fandoms are all about.

 

“Take these comic book movies. It might be easy for people outside a fandom to believe what fans like is the spectacle - super powers, fights, explosions, clever dialogue. That’s certainly enjoyable, but that’s the very shallow end of the pool.” He pointed at the screen. “What fandom catches is the underlying messages. Loki is a mass murdering megalomaniac, yes, but they see in him a desire to be loved, to be revered in his father’s eyes like his brother is, and that’s something many of these fans can identify with. They find beauty in ideas like the theme of unconditional love in this movie. You have Loki who is jealous of his father’s reverence for his brother. They recognize what Loki doesn’t--that the one Thor reveres most is Loki. Thor would do anything for his brother. It’s connections like that which make fandom.”

 

Rosalie tilted her head, studying him, and then she laughed. "She's making you one of them."

 

"Human?"

 

"Worse. Nerd."

 

"So much worse."

 

Bella got there just as Rosalie was on her way out. "So you're the one I have to blame for all this superhero stuff," Rosalie said, smiling at Bella as she shook her hand. "It's like living with a fifteen-year-old boy. He has comic books in his room."

 

"It's a sign of good taste."

 

Rosalie snorted. "Well, you brought Chris Hemsworth into my life, so I guess I can't fault you for that." She leaned in closer to Bella, stage-whispering in her ear. "You tell me if he's being a creeper, okay? I'm the big sister. I can kick his ass into next week."

 

Bella's answering smile was tight. "I'll keep that in mind."

 

Edward tilted his head, watching Bella now that his sister was gone. There was something in the air around her, something unsettled. Not for the first time, he wished he could read her mind. "She was joking, you know. About me being a creeper. I am most definitely not that."

 

Bella looked at him with a cross between amusement and incredulity. She laughed. "Yeah, Edward. I know she was kidding."

 

"Oh," he said, somewhat disappointed. He'd been happy that, for once, it was him informing someone else when it was a joke. Most of the time, he was the one confused.

 

"It's just weird. She's the second person in two days to call you a creeper, and I'm getting sick of it."

 

"Someone else called me that?"

 

She got that look on her face, that look people got when they said too much. That look people got when they were hiding something. He didn't need to read her mind to know there was something going on she didn’t know how to talk to him about. “We should watch the movie.”

 

Edward put a gentle hand on her arm. "Was it your friend James?" He gave her a small, reassuring smile, making his tone cheerful. "He doesn't like me."

 

"What he thinks of you doesn't matter," Bella said, her tone quick and venomous. "He's not exactly the best judge of character."

 

She looked at him and did a double take. In the next second, she'd closed the distance between them, and her hand was on his face, stroking over his lip. Edward opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, but his words left him. It was amazing how good her fingers felt.

 

"What the hell?" she said. "The cut you had here. It's almost gone."

 

Edward winced and pulled back quickly, facing forward. He'd let the cut heal far too quickly. He'd forgotten. "It wasn't as bad as it looked, I suppose."

 

"I guess not."

 

Edward cleared his throat, changing the subject quickly to distract her. "So James. Why does he feel that way about me?"

 

His words had an instant effect. Bella sat back, crossing her arms, the disturbed look back on her face. "It's all so stupid. It's bias, for one thing. He thinks it's stupid for a guy your age to be hanging out in a comic book store." She glanced at him. "How old are you, anyway? I mean… if you don’t mind me asking.”

 

That was an interesting question. Edward wasn’t at all sure how old he was. He wouldn’t know how to count a time before the galaxy began. “Twenty-seven,” he said, giving her the age Edward Cullen was when he died.

 

“Oh.” She seemed shocked by that. “Wow. Uh. I thought you were maybe twenty-three or something.”

 

He furrowed his brow. It was four years difference, but she seemed so taken aback. “Is that a bad thing?”

 

“No,” she said quickly. “It doesn’t matter really. I don’t know. I just thought you were closer to my age.” She shrugged. “Anyway. James thinks it’s weird you hang out with me instead of working.”

 

“He doesn’t work.”

 

“Yeah, but he’s my brother. That’s why he hangs out with me.”

 

“I see. So why do you think I hang out with you?” he asked.

 

She raised her head, looking at him as though she were trying to read something in his eyes. Strange. He was trying to do the same thing. “We’re friends,” she said.

 

There was something of a question there. “Yes,” he said. “Friends. That’s what friends do. They hang out.”

 

It occurred to Edward perhaps a few seconds too late that they’d been staring at each other  for longer than was socially normal. He reminded himself to blink and looked away. “Shall I put the movie on?”

 

“Yeah. It’s over there.” She gestured to where she’d laid her jacket and a few other things over the arm of the chair. “I’ll get the popcorn.”

 

Edward went to the chair. He reached for the Blu-Ray, but picked something else up instead. His jacket.

 

He all but ran to the kitchen, calling her name.

 

“Wh-” she started to ask, but then cut off, her expression guilty as she saw what he was holding.

 

“Where did you get this?” he demanded.

 

She sighed and grumbled, running a hand through her hair. “Okay, but you can’t freak out.”

 

He waited.

 

“Okay, so in the alley yesterday, I recognized one of the guys who attacked you. I’d seen him at a party at James’s place. So I went to James’s place to, uh, see if he could do anything to get your stuff back.” She huffed, the look on her face angry. “When I got there, the other one was there.”

 

Edward nearly choked. “Fe... the big one? The one who could probably tear you apart with his bare hands? Are you insane?”

 

“I didn’t know he was going to be there, and that shouldn’t be the thing you’re stuck on. Don’t you understand what I’m telling you?”

 

“What did he do? Did he… are you okay?” He remembered quite clearly the things Felix wanted to do to her for making a fool of him. The idea she’d been in the same room…

 

Good god, maybe he should be a creeper. Maybe he should watch her wherever she went like he had in the heavenly realm. If she was going to walk into trouble…

 

“I’m fine,” Bella said, but he noticed she didn’t outright deny Felix had done something.

 

“What did he do?” Edward repeated.

 

She seemed caught by the ferocity of his gaze. She touched her wrist, the movement small and subconscious. “I’m fi-”

 

He took her hand, holding tightly to keep her from pulling away. She was wearing a loose-fitting long sleeved shirt, and that should have been his first hint. She didn’t typically wear long sleeves. Hooded jackets yes, but not long sleeves. He pulled the sleeves up and had to strangle a cry.

 

Her wrists were badly bruised.

 

She yanked her arms free and pulled her sleeves down. “It’s nothing. He was just showing off, that’s all. Trying to scare me. He didn’t really hurt me.”

 

“This is crazy, I--”

 

“What’s crazy is you,” Bella said, taking one step closer to him, ire in her eyes. “You’re not having the right reactions here. I just told you that my friend, my friend, had the guy who jumped you in his apartment. Why aren’t you surprised? Don’t you get what that means? That means that my friend sent him to do that to you. God damn it, this isn’t normal. This shouldn’t be normal for anyone. They keep trying to tell me you’re up to something, and I told them to go to hell, but you’re not even concerned about this shit.”

 

Edward blew out a frustrating breath, trying to reorient himself. He was being careless. “I am concerned. I’m… you’re standing here telling me you were in the same room as the man who attacked me, the one I was most afraid of. Forgive me, but I’m finding it hard to think beyond that fact.”

 

She shook her head. “James and Victoria were there. They wouldn’t have let him really hurt me.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because I wouldn’t let anyone hurt them.”

 

“They’re not--”

 

“Edward, are you as innocent as you look? I mean…” She swallowed hard, and when she looked at him, her eyes were glassy. “Look, I really care about you, okay? You’re sweet. Sweeter than anyone I’ve met in a really long time. Maybe ever. But you know, I’m so fucking sick of seeing the good sides of people, knowing how good they can be, and watching them make the stupidest fucking decisions. I’m so sick of it. I can’t see it happen again. So tell me. If you’re mixed up in something horrible, please just tell me.”

 

The silence after her tirade was heavy. Edward took a steadying breath, hating the idea he’d made this woman hurt. And she was hurting. He knew it wasn’t all him, but she was hurting.

 

He took a step forward, trying to gauge if she was scared of him. She didn’t flinch. She just watched him with wide, pain-filled eyes. He reached out and took her hands again, this time only squeezing them.

 

How he wished he could heal those awful bruises. “I’m just me,” he said softly. “I told you before, I know something of brothers and sisters who find trouble too easily. It doesn’t surprise me that your friend sent someone to rough me up, if that’s what happened. I’m not mixed up in anything that could hurt you.”

 

That, he thought, was the truth at least.

 

He pulled her toward him and cupped her cheek in a gesture he’d seen on television. He hoped it was okay. Either way, it felt better to be touching her. “Do you believe me?”

 

She tilted her head up, searching his eyes, and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry.”

 

“Bella, don’t apologize to me. You didn’t do anything.”

 

“They hurt you because of me.”

 

“And they hurt you because of me. We’re even, though I must say this isn’t a game I want to play.”

 

She huffed, looking down at her feet.

 

“Please,” he said. “Please be careful. I didn’t need my jacket back. I wasn’t concerned about it. James has never liked me, and if you want to know the truth, his feelings are returned. He’s bad news.”

 

“He’s...confused.” Bella took a step back, pulling her hands from his. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now. I hate what he’s gotten into, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I didn’t know his asshole friend would be there when I went to talk to him. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

 

“I know you didn’t.” There was so much he wanted to say, but he sensed pushing her would be unwise at this point. “So...Thor?”

 

He was rewarded with the return of her grin. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Why is it Monday already?!
> 
> Oh well.
> 
> Goals for this week include updates for Trouble, Nightmare, and Oblivious. Let’s see how this goes! Have a good week everyone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ah, man.I just realized I missed my chance to make this a super-nerd update. May the Fourth? After Age of Ultron?
> 
> Ugh! These kinds of chances only come by once in a lifetime!

“I am perplexed.”

Bella’s lip twitched. She crossed her arms, trying not to laugh at the furrow in Edward’s brow. “You usually are.”

“It’s all very odd. Going to a movie at midnight when you have work tomorrow seems unwise.”

“Christ, Cullen. Haven’t you ever broken a rule before?”

He looked up at her, his grin suddenly sardonic. “Believe me, I’m familiar with breaking rules.” He looked off, an odd expression coming over his face. “And I’m familiar with potential consequences.”

Bella tilted her head, trying to get a read on the man. He could be so intense about the oddest thing. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I do this kind of thing all the time. The best thing about summer is the blockbusters and the midnight showings. Besides, there’s no way I’m missing Age of Ultron. Having all the Avengers on one screen is too good.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it, but what’s this all about.” Edward spread his arms wide, gesturing down at himself.

She had to snicker then. He’d been a good sport, letting her drag him to several thrift stores while they cobbled together the perfect outfit. Really, she didn’t know why it had struck her  as important suddenly that he have the full fanboy experience. “Cosplay is an important part of the atmosphere. Midnight showings are for the true fans, man. These are the people who are going to cheer when their favorite characters come on. You feel the experience of the movie in a midnight show.” She shrugged. “This is just dressing the part.”

“I see,” he said in that way of his; as though he understood, but he thought perhaps she was just the slightest bit deranged. He tugged at the leather jacket. “So you think my part is Captain America?”

“This is pure Steve Rogers, son. You’re not in a red, white, and blue uniform, are you?” She readjusted the collar on the jacket. “Technically, you’d make a better Thor.” He was adorably clueless. “But Jasper has the luscious blond locks, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with Steve.”

She looked him over, smoothing her hand down the front of the jacket, admiring her handiwork. “It’s not a bad fit, you know? You have this, I don’t know, sweetness about you?” Her eyes flitted up to his and back down to his chest. “Like you’re a little out of place in time. You’re loyal. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you tried to protect me in that alley. You weren’t defending yourself, but you did when I was there. That’s very Steve.” She took a step back, realizing then how close they were standing and that he was staring at her again. That stare as though he was trying to see the marrow of her bones.

Bella cleared her throat. “Anyway. Come on. One more thing,” she said, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.

“What else could there be? I don’t want to wear a hat.”

“No hat.” Bella pulled him into the bathroom. She hopped up on the counter and spread her legs, pulling Edward to stand between them. “But your hair is a little too unruly. Steve is very clean cut. None of this bed head.”

That crease appeared between Edward’s brows. “Bed head?”

“Oh, so you don’t do it on purpose.” Secretly, Bella had been dying to do what she did then since the first day. She ran her fingers through his hair, satisfying her curiosity. It was thick, soft, and silky against her skin. “You don’t know what bed head means?”

His smile was sarcastic. “Does that surprise you?”

“No, but you’re a smart guy. It’s pretty self-explanatory.” Reluctantly, she drew her hands away from his hair and picked up a tube of hair gel. “It means you look like you just rolled out of bed and walked out the door without combing your hair.”

He appeared to consider this. “I suppose that’s not far from the truth.” He looked at her. “I really haven’t thought about my hair.”

“You could have made a passable Bruce Banner with your hair, but he really doesn’t have a discernible look. He’s just a guy when he’s not a green, rage monster.” Bella wiped the excess gel off on a towel and picked up a comb.

“Hmm. So, I could pass for Thor, for whatever reason you didn’t mention. I have Bruce Banner’s hair, and Steve Roger’s…” He glanced down. “Clothes.”

They lapsed into silence then, Bella concentrating on styling Edward’s hair. He was so close, she could feel the tickle of his breath on her neck. When she let her eyes drift away from her task, she was startled to find him staring at her. She shouldn’t have been surprised. He was always staring, but it was so different when his face was mere inches from hers.

How strange that his staring didn’t feel rude or worse, creepy. There was nothing dirty about the look in his eyes, and yet no one had ever looked at her with such intensity. She shivered and stared back, drinking in the color of his eyes. They were bright. Oddly bright. Mesmerizing.

Magnificent. That was the word. Or awesome. Not the way people said it nowadays. Not awesome cool, but awesome by its original definition. There was something in his eyes that was ancient and beyond her comprehension.

He glanced down, and the connection broke. Bella took a deep breath, realizing only then she was just a little bit dizzy. But before she could speak, she realized he was looking at her lips. As though in automatic response, her tongue darted out, wetting them.

This wasn’t the first time Bella thought he was going to kiss her. It wasn’t the first time her body tensed, waiting for the touch of his lips to hers. The tug she felt for him was a hook buried deep and painless in her gut. It was a pull that couldn’t be ignored, and then, as now, she didn’t think it was possible she was misinterpreting it. His cheeks were flushed, his lips parted, and his breath uneven. He felt it. He had to.

The corners of his eyes tightened slightly--a ghost of his typical perplexed expression.

Bella’s phone rang out with Jasper’s ringtone. Edward took a step back, and Bella shook her head to reorient herself. She connected the call. “Are you here?”

“Sure am, sugar.”

“Okay. We’ll be right out.”

She darted to her room to grab the red jacket that completed her Scarlet Witch outfit, took Edward’s hand, and pulled him with her out the door.

~0~

Bella was somewhat obsessed with the idea Edward was… innocent.

It would be fitting. There had always been something pure about him; something almost childlike in the way he didn’t know things and the way he watched what was going on around him. There was always amusement in his gaze, but not the derisive kind of amusement. He didn’t quite understand other people, but he genuinely enjoyed them.

The question was, did his lack of general knowledge extend to… that? Bella wasn’t naive. She knew plenty of people made it well into their lives as virgins for a variety of reasons. But innocent to the point he couldn’t read her body language when she was practically shouting for him to kiss her?

Bella tried to tell herself not to be ridiculous. There were a million reasons Edward might not have wanted to kiss her. It was well within the realm of possibility that she’d misread his body language, his desire for her.

She looked over, and her heart panged. Edward was studying a woman in line opposite him intently. Specifically, he was studying her chest.

“Baby doll, he’s reading the writing on her shirt.”

Bella jumped a mile high when Jasper whispered in her ear. She spun around to find her friend looking at her with a shit-eating grin. He winked at her, and then tapped Edward’s shoulder. “Hey, man. You think you can hold our places? Dinner’s on me.”

Edward turned toward them. “Of course,” he said, seeming distracted.

“We’re heading to Which Wich. What do you want?”

“Erm.” Edward’s eyes flicked from Jasper to Bella and back again. he blinked. “Whatever Bella gets would be fine, I’m sure.”

Bella raised an eyebrow. “What? Come on. How do you know you’ll like what I like?”

“Yeah, man,” Jasper said. “The whole point of places like Which Wich are to have a meal specific to you. No one can add the same combination of ingredients to a sandwich that you do. It’s a unique experience for each person.”

“I’m not that difficult to please.”

Jasper snickered. “Yeah, I’ll bet.” Bella’s face flushed. Edward looked at Jasper with an expression that said he knew he’d missed something. Again, Bella wondered if she was so far off base thinking he might be a virgin.

"Come along," Jasper said, dragging Bella away.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Jasper wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Bella has a cr-ush. Bella has a cr-ush," he said in a sing-song.

Bella shrugged him off. "Shut up."

He laughed and pulled her close again. "Sunshine, you're so obvious. The only thing that's saving you is the fact that man is so oblivious I'm having a hard time believing he's real." Chuckling, he looked at her. “I know I’ve only known him an hour, but he’s pretty nice. A little strange, but hey, aren’t we all.”

“James thinks he’s a creeper.”

Jasper snorted. “James is a paranoid asshole. Edward is a delicate flower, and since he’s among the mass of the parentless, I’m going to go ahead and step up to represent his family.” He wagged a finger at Bella. “You be careful with him, Isabella. Don’t go stomping on his heart just because it’s easy.”

Bella blushed furiously, only adding to Jasper’s mirth. “Whatever.”

“This is cute. I’ve never seen you all twitterpated.” Jasper held the door open so she could go inside the shop.

While they filled out their sandwich bags marking what they wanted, Bella gathered her thoughts. “So James hasn’t told you he thinks Edward is bad news?” Bella asked after they’d placed their order.

“Ah, yeah. He said something about that.” Jasper shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and shrugged. “That’s why I was glad when you said he was going to come with us. I mean, you have to admit it sounds shady, hells Bells. This guy isn’t a kid. He isn’t even our age, and he just decides he’s going to be a geek? No one makes a conscious decision to become a geek.”

“Why not? Why can’t someone just decide they want to understand this culture?”

“Hey, I’m not saying it’s not possible. I’m just saying it is suspicious, that’s all. I mean, there’s something off about him. Not necessarily bad, just off.”

“There’s something off about all of us, Jazz. That’s what happens when you grow up in the system.”

“Honey, all I’m saying is that it’s easy to see what he sees, you know?” Jasper ruffled her hair playfully. “You’re a pretty girl, and if he’s playing some kind of game, he’s got you hooked, you know? You trust him, trust that he’s this sweet guy you think he is. You’ll go off with him alone and they’ll find you dead in a bathtub without a kidney.” He shuddered. “James is just worried for you, that’s all.”

Bella grunted. “I think this is more than protectiveness.” She clenched her fists at her side, the worry and heartbreak she’d been pushing away for a week surfacing. “Okay. I know we don’t talk about this but… whatever James, Victoria, your brother… Whatever they’re into, just how bad is it?”

Out of the corner of her eyes, Bella saw Jasper stiffen. “What are you--”

“Don’t bullshit me,” Bella said, her tone even as she turned to look at Jasper. “One of the guys who was at James’s party jumped Edward. This is about more than just me, and…” She swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Something isn’t adding up here. What would make James’s asshole friends so paranoid that they would try to shake Edward down? Edward is… no one. Just a guy with too many questions about comic book characters.”

Jasper blew out a breath. “I don’t know,” he said, the words subdued and quiet. “It’s not good, but we’ve always known that.” He shook his head. “Every time I try to ask questions, James tells me Peter would kick his ass if he told me anything.”

They were both quiet for a minute after that, and Bella regretted bringing it up. Midnight premiers were a natural high--the perfect chance to leave real world troubles behind and immerse herself in a fictional world. It didn’t get more real world than this, and there was nothing she or Jasper could do about it.

Their order was called, and for a few minutes, they busied themselves with figuring out how to  carry three sandwiches, three large drinks, chips, and cookies between them. They walked back toward the theater in silence for a minute.

Jasper cleared his throat. “Anyway. Are you going to make a move or what?”

“What?” Bella blinked, jarred out of her troubled thoughts.

“Someone’s going to have to make a man out of him. It may as well be you. He can trust you to be gentle with him.”

Just like that, Bella’s cheeks were heated again, her thoughts back on the conundrum Edward presented. “You’re a terrible person.”

Still, her step picked up when the line came in sight, and she saw Edward, his head tilted in rapt attention to a pretty fangirl in a Loki dress.

“Everyone knows Loki was supposed to be in the film, like a cameo or something, but I heard the most terrible rumor that the scene was cut,” the woman was saying. She leaned toward Edward, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

“Hey,” Bella said, her voice a little louder than she’d intended. She stepped to Edward’s side, handing him an ice-cold drink. “Take this. My hands are about to freeze off.”

She wondered if she was imagining the way Edward’s smile brightened when he saw her. He took both drinks and set them on the ground. Then he took the sandwiches nestled in the crook of her elbow and set them on top of the purse she’d left with him. “Here. My hands are warm,” he said, taking her hands in his.

He was right. His hands seemed to radiate heat, like cradling a hot cup of coffee. Bella was momentarily stunned at the gesture. She looked up at him, caught once again by his eyes. Behind her, Jasper snickered, but she only barely registered that.

Next to them, the woman he’d been talked to giggled nervously. “That’s a great Scarlet Witch get up,” she said.

Bella looked at her, a little befuddled. “Um. Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” She looked the other woman over, pushing aside the unreasonable irritation. She let her inner fangirl take over when she saw what the woman was wearing. “Whoa. That dress kicks ass.” She let her hands drop from Edward’s though she stayed close to him. “Where did you get it?”

The other woman brightened. “It’s great, right? It’s an Etsy shop I found. The chick does great work. She has an R2-D2 dress that I love, but Loki is a must, right?”

“Can’t go wrong with Loki. I did hear that rumor that the scene was cut,” Bella said.

~0~

“So what did you think?” Bella asked. She’d been chatting excitedly with Jasper since the movie ended, but she turned to Edward now, her eyes bright.

He considered. “That was an interesting experience. The emotion in the room was visceral.”

She stared at him in that way that made him know he’d said something wrong, but then she laughed. “Oh, Edward.” She slipped an arm around his waist, giving him a quick squeeze. “You’re such a dork. I meant what did you think of the movie?”

“Oh.” Edward opened his mind to the thoughts around them, picking one out of someone’s head at random, wanting to be sure his reactions were on par with everyone else’s. “I liked when Vision did the thing.”

That was the right answer, for Bella’s eyes lit up and she jumped even as she walked. “Yes. Yes. Oh my god. Everyone freaked the fuck out. That was great.”

“What they did to Quicksilver wasn’t though,” Jasper grumbled.

“No.” Her expression darkened, but only momentarily before she snickered. “I don’t know, man. You know I’m a hardcore Stucky shipper, but I couldn’t help shipping Steve with Tony. Or Thor. I could see Steve/Thor after that.”

Jasper rolled his eyes. “You and your ships. Steve/Thor is a bromance.”

“Not even. Thor would split Steve in half and Steve would beg for more.” Bella giggled gleefully when Jasper shuddered. “Did you see those Hammer/shield moves? That must have taken ages to perfect. Imagine all the long nights practicing. You really think nothing happened?”

Some time later, Jasper dropped Bella and Edward off at her house. Despite the late hour, Bella didn’t seem eager to go inside. She lingered on the sidewalk, hugging her jacket close around her against the cold of the night.

“So you liked it?” Bella asked. “I mean the whole midnight screening experience. It’s different than seeing a movie any other time, right?”

Edward couldn’t say, given that he’d never been to a movie. However, he got the general idea. He’d watched Bella go to many movies over the course of her life, and he understood the experience was different. “I understand the appeal, yes. It’s nice to be amongst like-minded people. That woman in line was very friendly simply because she knew I was a fan of the same thing she enjoyed.”

It might have been his imagination, but he thought he saw Bella’s expression darken. “Yeah. Yeah, exactly,” she said, not mentioning it if she was angry or irritated. “So what was your favorite part? Of the experience if not the movie.”

That was an interesting question. If he could answer honestly, he would say his favorite part had been watching her out of the corner of his eyes. It was nice to watch a movie with her that she hadn’t seen. He could watch her be surprised, dismayed, or amazed in real time.

He decided he could try to tease her. Jasper had teased her quite a bit tonight in friendly jest. They were supposed friends, after all. It should be normal. He smiled at her with a hint of mischief. “Toward the end when you were yelling curses at the screen.” He wagged a finger at her. “Language, Bella.”

She smacked his chest, laughing. “Oh, I think dressing you up as Steve has gotten to your head.” She spread her hand on his chest, as though she’d forgotten to let it drop.

Just like that, something in the air changed, charged. Edward found his borrowed body had moved of its own volition, wrapping an arm around her waist. He looked at her, and she stared back up at him, her smile falling. She licked her lips, looking at his, and an inexplicable shiver went down his spine.

“Edward?”

There was something strange about her voice. It was deeper somehow, and he couldn’t figure why. “Yes?”

Her eyes looked back to his and she shifted, coming ever closer to him. “Have you… Are you…”

“Am I what?”

She shook her head. Her cheeks flushing. She blew out a breath. “Fuck it,” she said, and before he knew what was happening, she kissed him.

Nothing in Edward’s limitless existence could have prepared him for the jolt that went through his body. No. Not just his body. That kiss hit something that went to the very core of his being. It was as though his entire reality, everything he knew and understood about the wide universe, was shaken and changed, though he wouldn’t have been able to say how. He heard himself whimper. His hands at her waist tightened, and his lips moved as though they’d been made to do this.

It lasted seconds, and then Bella stepped back. They stared at each other, each of them stunned. Edward couldn’t seem to make his mind work. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “You sure you’re okay to get home?”

Edward answered automatically. “Yes. I’m fine.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming tonight.”

“I…. Okay.” For the life of him, Edward couldn’t figure out what was going on here. He took a step backward, unsure if he was supposed to leave. He didn’t want to, he knew that much, but she was clearly dismissing him.

He took another step back. She did too. She looked toward her door and then back at him. “Edward?”

Another charge went through him, an odd sense of hope. “Yes?”

She looked uncertain. “Are you going to come to the shop again?”

His brows furrowed. “Yes. Of course.”

She exhaled as though relieved. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 **  
**He watched her until she was safely inside her house. Somehow, he made himself walk to the safety of a secluded place before he blinked out of the physical realm, taking flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to Songster who puts up with my perplexing geekiness. Thanks to Nikki for giving me a great idea for a line, barburella and myonlyheroin for making my docs wonderful.
> 
> I’m hoping to update Long Distance and Trouble before the weekend is over...let’s see if I can pull it off. (Dreamer on Monday)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye. Tonight is the Supernatural season finale. I might die. We’ll see.
> 
> Now, onto OUR angel.

For a being with limitless mind power, Edward couldn’t think. Rather, it was as though he didn’t know how to think. Not about this. He was so flummoxed, that when he arrived home, he pushed Rosalie into wakefulness, waiting impatiently for her to emerge from the bedroom.

 

“Was that you?” she asked, glaring at him blearily.

 

He didn’t bother to answer. There were more important things on his mind. “She kissed me.”

 

Rosalie blinked. “What?”

 

He paced, irritated with her slow human brain. How had she managed to give up being an angel when being a human was so limiting? “Bella. She kissed me.”

 

“Oh,” Rosalie said, and then her eyes went wide. “Ohhh.”

 

“I don’t understand. I did nothing to prompt such an act. I know it was something we spoke of, but I didn’t seduce her. I didn’t try--”

 

“Edward.” Rosalie held her hands palm out, gesturing at him. “Calm down. And sit. You’re going to wear a hole in my carpet.”

 

With a huff, Edward did so. He put his head in his hands and tried to run his fingers through his hair. He grimaced when he was met with resistance and remembered earlier that evening when Bella combed his hair. “I don’t understand,” he repeated, frustrated. “This wasn’t my intention.”

 

Rosalie looked entirely too amused for his tastes. “You know what they say about intentions, brother.”

 

“There is no hell.”

 

“That’s beside the point.” Rosalie’s voice gentled. “Tell me how it felt when she kissed you.”

 

Edward was silent for a moment. He put a hand to his chest as his heart began to flutter. “Like flying. Like the rush of movement and speed except…” He pursed his lips, wondering if there were words in any language to describe such a thing.

 

Rosalie started to laugh. “Oh, Edward. You’re in trouble.”

 

His head snapped up. “I wasn’t comfortable with your plan. To make her care for me like that. It wasn’t something I wanted.”

 

“Peace,” she said, holding up her hands again. She was still grinning wickedly at him. “No, Edward, you had little to do with what happened. I remember your Bella well. She’s always been a little spitfire. She kissed you because that’s what she wanted to do; not because you seduced her into it.”

 

“But...why?”

 

Rosalie laughed again. “You have no idea how sweet and innocent you sound. For goodness sake. You’re an ancient being, and you’ve watched humans for eons.” Her expression gentled. “She likes you. She wants you.”

 

“Wants me for what?”

 

“My sweet dewdrop.” Rosalie tilted her head, glancing in the direction of her bedroom where Emmett still slept. “If you have to ask…”

 

Edward balked. “I can’t...But...That’s not…” He shook his head, irritated at the fact the skin of his cheeks was flushing hot. “That’s not what I’m here for.”

 

“Maybe not, but that’s what your Bella wants. It was your aim to make her like you so that she would trust you.”

 

“Not like this.”

 

“Trust me, brother. It’s not something you can control. Attraction can be strange that way.” She eyed him. “Love can be stranger.”

 

“She cannot love me. I told you. I have no desire to hurt her. I’m trying to help her.”

 

“I’m not talking about her, you nincompoop.” She waved a hand. “But okay. Let’s return to the task at hand. Regardless of whether or not you planned it, it’s done. It happened. Bella took a great risk, and now you have to figure out how you’re going to respond.”

 

“What do you mean she took a risk?”

 

“She’s thrown you, an angel, off your game, and you still don’t see.” Rosalie leaned forward toward him. “Humans don’t see things in terms of the larger picture. We’re emotional creatures who live in the minutiae of the moment, and it’s difficult for us to accept how we feel, how we look at things, will change.

 

“When Bella kissed you, she took a chance. If you rebuff her--say you don’t feel the same way, and you’re not attracted to her--things will get awkward, possibly to the point you won’t be able to be friends anymore. If you reject her now, it’s possible you’ll fail your mission.”

 

Edward frowned. “Are you saying I must let her believe there can be a romance between us?”

 

“Oh, man. Okay. That sounds shady as hell.” She sat back, rubbing her palms together. “Try very hard to answer me without thinking about potential consequences. Do you enjoy her company?”

 

“Yes,” Edward said without hesitation. “She’s fascinating and...lovely, I suppose. Who she is at the soul level, I mean, though I know she’s attractive by human standards.”

 

“Are you happy when you’re with her?”

 

Edward cocked his head. What a strange question. That kind of emotion wasn’t something angels thought of. Their existence was one of duty. Happiness was quite beside the point. However, her simple words had identified the odd, buoyant feeling Edward often felt when he interacted with Bella. “Yes. I suppose I am happy.”

 

“Now tell me again how it felt when she kissed you.”

 

Like flying. Like exhilaration and speed. Like the wind in his face and the whole of the world beneath him. He let himself think back on what it felt like the moment it happened, and recalled the jolt that went straight through the middle of all that he was--his human body and his celestial essence.

 

Edward understood the physicality of the human body very well. He easily could have explained the response of his host body in scientific terms. Everything boiled down to pheromones and the human instinct toward propagation, but nothing in his wealth of knowledge could explain how that one kiss--a simple brush of her wetted flesh to his--could have shaken him on a soul level.

 

“But I have no soul,” he murmured out loud, almost unaware he’d spoken.

 

“You think you have no soul because of what you understand a soul to be--the essence of a person. We humans take our same souls with us through countless reincarnations. Though they--we--may not remember in our earthly lives, we carry the lessons of those incarnations with us.”

 

She held her hand out to him, palm up. “Read me. Do I have a soul?”

 

Edward reached out , his palms down, hovering over hers. “Of course.” He could feel the warmth of it, so different from any other head he’d felt. It was a living heat, vibrant, full, and complex. “You’re human.”

 

“Yet, I still retain most of my memories and knowledge from when I was an angel.”

 

“You’re saying I have a soul.” Edward considered this. “That is irrelevant. I’m not built to experience these kinds of things.”

 

“Stop running from this. The point, Edward, is that pursuing something with Bella isn’t dishonest. It’s not deception. In fact, it’s less of a deception than your original plan. Or don’t you remember that this is all an act?”

 

“You’re twisting things,” Edward said, though the only thing being twisted was a feeling deep in his gut. His mission had been a righteous one, hadn’t it?

 

“Aww.” She ruffled his hair. “Humans are better at many things than angels are, not the least of which is leading an uncertain life. It’s not simple, and there are risks.”

 

“I don’t wish to take risks with her,” Edward said, his voice hard to cover his confusion.

 

“As I said, dear brother. Bella has taken that risk for herself. It’s your choice now to meet her or run away. It may take more bravery than you have to explore this thing that’s happening between you.”

~0~

Bella tried to pretend she wasn’t watching the door, but each time the bell jangled, her heart stuttered. It was never him, and her hopes fell again.

 

Really, she blamed Jasper. Sure, she’d been having those delicious, tingly feelings for Edward for a while now, but until he’d put a name to it, she hadn’t thought of acting on it.

 

Well, she supposed she maybe, kind of, sort of, had wondered what it would be like to kiss him, but his lips were so...and he was…

 

Bella folded her arms on the counter and buried her head, groaning. She’d skipped this whole part when she was in high school--the part where she was giggly and giddy about a stupid boy.

 

There was something strangely pure about how Edward made her feel. She was no virgin. She’d been with men she hadn’t been in love with and had acted on a mutual attraction and desire. And it wasn’t that she was in love with Edward. She simply had the sense that she could fall. Oh God, it would be so effortless to fall for Edward.

 

The bell above the door jangled--her only customer leaving. She put her head down again, trying not to think.

 

“Bella?”

 

Her head snapped and her eyes went wide. “Where the hell did you come from?”

 

Despite the distinctly nervous set of his expression, his lip twitched. “Not hell, that’s for certain.” He gave a tentative smile. “I came in as that kid went out.”

 

“Oh.” Bella felt better that he was not only there but looking her in the eyes. Where to go from there, though, was a mystery. Typically, when there was a mutual attraction, there was some give and take. Bella knew how to flirt, knew how to respond when a man flirted with her. Again, it was different for Edward, and not just because he hadn’t so much as waggled his eyebrows at her with interest.

 

But then...he had kissed her back.

 

Bella huffed. The silence between them had gotten awkward. “Okay. You gotta throw me a bone, man. I can’t read you at all. Just tell me if I’m barking up the wrong tree.”

 

Edward’s lips turned up then down, up then down, as though he didn’t know how to react. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said with a huff of laughter. “It just struck me to wonder why you would use two dog references. But I suppose that’s not what I should be concentrating on just now, is it?”

 

Bella had to laugh. Warmth spread outward from the center of her chest. He was so damn precious sometimes. She hopped up onto the counter, swung her legs over to the other side, and scooted forward. “That's a frustrating subject change, I'd say."

 

Edward looked uncertain. Almost flustered. He took a step closer to her, then another. Bella’s heart began to pound hard as he put a hand on her knee and looked up at her. “I’d like to try something,” he said.

 

Too breathless to respond with words, Bella simply nodded. Edward raised his hands. The look on his face was a million things at once. He seemed perplexed, confused, possibly even scared. The tips of his fingers rested so lightly on her cheeks it tickled. A thrill ran down her spine, and her breath caught. She tilted her head down on instinct and he raised his head. His shaky breath was warm on her lips as he kissed her. It was a gentle, tentative touch at first. Then he exhaled in a gust and pressed his lips more firmly to hers, his arms wrapping around her, hands firm on her back..

 

Bella whimpered, helpless except to ride the rush of energy that seemed to grip them both. She cupped his face in her hands, feeling along his jaw as his mouth moved on her. She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer.

 

After only a few moments, he broke the kiss, breathless as though he hadn’t breathed for minutes instead of seconds. He stared up at her, his lips parted, his eyes wide. “Oh my,” he said, the words coming out on a breath.

 

Bella giggled. She couldn’t help it. His lips twitched as he looked to her. “Oh my?” she said, and laughed outright. “You’re such an old biddy sometimes. Goodness gracious me.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he swallowed hard. “It’s just...I didn’t know.”

 

She ran the back of her knuckles along his cheek, the laughter fading, replaced by something more tender. He was giving her that look again. That look that was innocent somehow. Bella would never understand how he could be at once so innocent and yet not naive. “What didn’t you know?”

 

Looking into his eyes, Bella felt dizzy. She had the strangest sense that she could see the whole of the universe there in the green. It was as though his soul was as ancient as the sea, and yet there was something new there too, something uncertain and excited.

 

“I didn’t know I could…” He shook his head and tried again. “I didn’t know anything could feel like that.”

 

“What did the other girls you’ve kissed feel like?” she asked, teasing him again.

 

He cocked his head and blinked at her. “I’ve never done that.”

 

That shook her at the bone level. She felt her eyes go wide. “Not even a kiss?” She stroked his cheeks. It was impossible to stop touching him now that she’d started.

 

His hands rubbed idly at her knees. “I hadn’t thought of it before.”

 

Bella slid off the counter, her hands at his shoulders. He didn’t move back, and so they were pressed against each other, his hands on her waist. Bella pressed her thumb to his chin. “What do you think?”

 

He sighed and leaned in to touch his forehead against hers. “I think I may have been mistaken about the purpose of my existence. Nothing has ever felt as right.”

 

“Wow. Okay.” Bella’s laugh was shaky, and she couldn’t stop grinning. “Just in case you were wondering, that line was advanced. That was some charming bullshit right there.”

 

He cupped his hand around the back of her neck. “It’s only the truth,” he said, and he kissed her again.

 

Bella sighed. She didn’t try to lead this kiss. Instead, she let Edward go at his own pace. It was so easy to respond to him, to answer his firm presses with a tilt of her head. When she felt the tip of his tongue along her lips, she opened to him, and though she was prepared for the vigorous assault of a clumsy kisser, he was anything but. His tongue, like his touch, was tentative.

 

He explored gingerly. It took Bella a few minutes, her power of thought all but obliterated, to realize he was adapting to what she liked, what she wanted. He was reading her minute body language to figure out what she liked about his kisses. Good god, he was the epitome of a quick learner. It was so Edward it only made her hungrier for him. She slotted her legs between his, leaning back against the counter and pulling him with her, needing to be as close as humanly possible.

 

They were so preoccupied neither one of them heard the jangle of the door. They didn’t realize they weren’t alone in the shop until James cleared his throat loudly.

 

Bella gasped as she broke their kiss, still clinging to Edward as she looked over his shoulder to where James was glaring. He fixed her with a look that screamed ‘I told you so.’ She swallowed hard. “Do you need something? I’m a little busy.”

 

James’s eyes narrowed and his gaze flicked to Edward. Edward didn’t move, didn’t try to let Bella go. He merely stared back at James, his expression cool. “Right,” James said, the word coming out as dark as his mood likely was at the moment. “I don’t need anything.” With that, he turned and stalked out of the shop, leaving them alone again.

 

Bella let out a breath and Edward let her go, taking one step back from her. He ran his hand through his hair, his brows knitted as he looked between her and the empty doorway. “Bella, I swear I didn’t plan this. I never came in here with the intention for this to happen.”

 

She had to laugh. “What are you, reading his mind?” His eyes went wide, and she laughed again. “He’s pretty transparent. It’s okay, Edward. Believe me, I know you didn’t plan this.”

 

If it had all been a ruse from the get-go he would have acted sooner, but Bella had been the one to kiss him. Or even if he was playing some elaborate game, getting her to make the first move, if he was after only her body, he would have known he could press her to go further. If he’d lifted her back up on the counter and put his hands down her pants, she wouldn’t have objected. A more experienced man would have known that.

 

“Forget about him,” Bella said. She reached out to take his hand. “Is this okay? Is this something you want?”

 

“Yes. No.” He huffed and ducked his. “I don’t know if it’s right. Me being who I am.”

 

Now it was Bella’s turn to furrow her eyebrows. What on earth could he possibly mean by that?

 

But before she could ask, the bell jingled and a duo of girls came in, chattering excitedly. Bella sighed. She took a chance and pressed a soft kiss to Edward’s lips. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

  
He looked at her and nodded. Squeezing his hands once more, she stepped away from him and went to see if she could help her customers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to my girls, particularly my beautiful songster who is cursing the gdocs gods and yet still manages to beta for me. She’s sweet. 
> 
> Also, Nikki amuses me when she makes notes on my notes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, dear ones! Happy mid-week. We’re about to visit a little French cafe where they sell cheap but Frenchy food. It does exist. I copied and pasted the dishes directly, so any incorrect usage of French I blame entirely on them!

It was good for both of them that Bella was who she was. Or perhaps it was bad; Edward couldn’t quite decide. After all, without Bella to instigate, there was no way any of this would be happening, and there was no way any of this should be happening. It could not end well.

Despite the fact Edward was, above all things, an extremely rational being, the part of him wrapped up in this extremely irrational endeavor was in firm control. As much as he thought he should, he wasn’t about to turn back. Down the rabbit hole, he understood the expression to be.

Still, Edward had to admit he would never have gotten where they were if left to his own devices. He was more than willing to follow, but she was the definite leader. So when Bella decided they should go on a date, Edward readily agreed. He strongly suspected he would have agreed to jump into the sun if she suggested it, but that was neither here nor there.

“Rosalie indicated this was somewhat unusual,” Edward said as they were seated. He tried his best not to smirk at the menu. The names of the meals were in French, but the descriptions in English. He was fairly sure no one at Cafe Presse actually spoke French.

“Come on, really? Rosalie, the Amazon, hasn’t asked a man on a date?”

Edward quirked an eyebrow. “Much more than that. I’m sure you’ll meet Emmett soon. She said just because she’s done it doesn’t mean it isn’t unusual.”

“Do you think it’s strange?”

“Not particularly. Gender roles are a peculiar concept. That there should be some set of rules based on genitals…” He shook his head. Humans were a most peculiar species. “Does it bother you?”

“No.” She bounced a little in her seat and leaned forward. “I’m going to tell you a secret. I’m glad you’re cool with this. I’ve always wanted to come here on a date, but it wasn’t ever going to happen. People don’t do the dating thing anymore, you know? But look at this place.” She gestured around them. “Isn’t it perfect? It’s not as pretentious--and by pretentious I mean expensive--as a real French restaurant, but you can still order in French, which is always sexy.”

“Sexy? There’s something sexy about French?”

She laughed. “What planet do you actually live on?”

For a second, he was afraid she was serious. A waiter arrived at the table then, and Bella seemed just as relaxed as ever.

“Oh, do you want any appetizers, monsieur? Mademoiselle?”

Bella looked to Edward, and he waved his hand. “I don’t speak French,” he lied. He spoke all languages. “I’m fine with anything.” This was true. He didn’t need food. Even if he did, he was glad he’d said it. Bella’s eyes lit up.

She turned to the waiter. “Olives marines au citron and…” She glanced at the menu again and made a squeak of pleasure. “Assiette de fromages. And whatever wine goes best with that.”

“As you say, Mademoiselle,” the waiter said in a horrible French accent.

Edward propped his head on his hands, watching her as the waiters walked away. She was happy. He didn’t need to read minds to see it, and that was an incredible thought. There was so little true happiness in her life, but she was happy here with him. “You were right,” he said.

Her nose wrinkled in confusion.

“It was very sexy. You speaking French.” He thought they were the right words. It wasn’t the French. Not for him. He’d heard millions of languages spoken across many, many galaxies. But there was something in the way she said the words, the pleasure she took in saying them, that changed the way her whole face looked. It was the same effect, he expected.

Bella’s face flushed and she ducked her head. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” she asked, squinting at him.

“I know how to tell the truth.”

“You really are a quick learner.” She smirked as she looked back at the menu. “Do you know what you want?”

“Why don’t you order for both of us?”

She looked up, surprised. “Really?”

“It’s what one does on a proper date.”

“Oh, see? There it is.”

Edward tilted his head. “There what is?”

“The big dork without a smooth move in sight. Proper date,” she teased. “The last time the man ordered for the woman was probably the seventies, but I appreciate the thought.”

“Ah, well. You can still order for us. If you want.”

Her eyes lit up. “Are you sure? Because I’ve always wanted to have the Poulet rôti selon votre commande et pommes frites here, but I never had anyone to share it with.”

A tingle went down his spine. The nearness of her, her smile, was intoxicating. Maybe there was something about this particular woman speaking French. He really did like the way her tongue curled around the words. “Say that again,” he said, and he wondered why his voice had dropped lower than normal.

Her smile spread slowly up one side of her face. She leaned across the table, and he leaned forward to meet her, drawn to her. She brushed his lips with hers and spoke the words slowly so they vibrated against his skin. “Poulet rôti selon votre commande et pommes frites.”

He kissed her, and she kissed back. It was a quick kiss, and she giggled when it broke. “What?” he asked, smiling.

“Nothing. This is just a little surreal.” She rested her head on her folded hands, something wicked glinting in her eye. “I feel like I should be twirling my moustache. Is this what it’s like to plot to steal some innocent young man’s virtue?”

Her words were the proverbial punch to the gut. He was so far from an innocent, virtuous young man.

His smile fell and hers fell in turn, a look of horror spreading across her face. “Oh, Edward. I’m sorry. That was a horrible thing to say. I’m not… This is not about that. I swear. Ugh. That was insensitive.”

“No. It’s not about that.”

“I’m really not trying to push you.”

He ducked his head, considering the conversation from a more human perspective. “I’m not sensitive about my sexual experience or lack there of.” His lip twitched. “Though Rosalie did say it was unusual for a man my age to not have…” He made a gesture with his hand and wondered why his cheeks heated.

Well, he supposed that was no mystery, but it was somewhat odd. In his watching, he’d seen Bella naked countless times. There was nothing to that. There was nothing inherently sexual about the nude human form. One couldn’t help but have a body, and what was that? Flesh over bone, hair, eyes--mere parts, a structure.

Since her first kiss, Edward had tried not to think of this. He understood humanity very well. He understood that sex had been a part of the conversation between Bella and him since the first brush of her lips against his. From that kiss, sex had always been a possibility.

To see Bella that way, to be able to run the pads of his fingers along the lines of her skin, to hear the change in her breath and see her eyes as he touched her--that would be a whole different world. The thrill that went down his spine struck him at his core, and he found he was glad he was seated with the small table between them. He understood the human body as well, but it still surprised him at times how little control he had over it.

“It’s rare,” Bella said, thankfully oblivious to his thoughts. “But there’s nothing wrong with not…” She made the same gesture he had moments before and winked at him. “Not that you need to be told. I guess everyone is just hyper aware of it usually, you know? And you…”

“What about me?”

She flushed but rolled her eyes. “Come on. I can’t have been the first person who wanted to kiss you.”

If only she knew...but no, he supposed even that wasn’t true. In reading the thoughts around him, he’d picked up on a number of stray desires aimed in his direction. “No, I suppose I could have kissed someone before you. If that was what I wanted.”

The waiter returned then with their wine and to take their order. As he listened attentively to Bella, Edward heard his thoughts about a woman ordering for a man.

I’d be so embarrassed if I was him. Maybe he’s doing it to get laid.

Edward had to hide a smile. Humans and their attachment to gender norms would never not amuse him. He couldn’t imagine why it was so important to have an opinion about something as silly as a woman ordering a meal for a man, let alone associating it with a ploy to get sex.

When the waiter had gone, Bella looked back at him, her eyes lingering on his lips before coming back up to his eyes. “Why me?”

That was a deeper question than she could possibly realize. Why her indeed? He opened his mouth and then closed it again, realizing he had no answer. He had no answer for why he had seen her--a tiny human baby, one of seven billion people--and had thought her life more important than any other. He had no answer as to why and how she had done this to him, or why he was letting it continue when it couldn’t end well for either of them.

“That’s self-centered of me,” Bella said, reaching for a roll. “Let me try that again. Forget about me. Why abstain at all? It had to have been a conscious choice. It’s not a religious thing, is it? You’re not afraid you’re going to hell and angels are weeping?”

He laughed, the sound wry. It was a distinct possibility. He’d been mildly surprised that Carlisle hadn’t appeared to him yet. He could only hope the higher angel wasn’t watching him. Then again, it had been Carlisle who’d pointed out that while the knew and often facilitated the fate of humans, angels had no more idea than any being what life was meant to be. “No,” he said. “I am not religious in the slightest.”

“Then why?”

“As I said before, it was simply not something I thought about. I’ve always had other things to do.” He let his eyes travel over her. “Though kissing you, Bella, I can see why it’s so easy to forget everything else. It’s a distracting, consuming thing.”

He reached across the table to run his fingers over her knuckles where she held her wine glass. “Regardless of my reasons, I’m glad to have waited. You will forever and always be my first kiss. My first...so much.”

Her eyes were wide, her lips parted. It seemed like a good time to kiss her. Kiss her before he told her just how many firsts she was and just how long forever would be for him. He kissed her and she kissed him back until the waiter was beside them, clearing his throat. There was, it turned out, no room for their marinated olives and assorted cheeses if they insisted on being connected at the lips.

~0~

After dinner, they walked back to Bella’s car hand in hand.

Until now, all of Bella’s romantic life had contained very little in the way of romance. Mostly her trysts were blink-and-you’ll-miss-it affairs. A connection sparked between her and a classmate, a co-worker, a guy at the club. Maybe they had a few conversations. One kid at the community college she’d attended briefly had bought her a slice of pizza at the little eatery on campus. Mostly it turned out to be about sex--a heat of the moment connection that ended almost as soon as that initial attraction had been slaked.

Whatever was going on between her and Edward was out of a sappy romantic comedy. The role reversal was novel--Edward being the quirky one and Bella the more experienced.

She watched him as they strolled--him looking around with that expression he sometimes wore like everything around them was something new. There was so much she wanted to show him, to experience with him. Sex, yes. She wanted to be the one to show him how good it could be to share his body with another person, and she suspected sex with Edward would be something new for her too--something more. But beyond sex, she just wanted to be the one to watch him discover all the secrets she knew--the bits and pieces of Seattle that were truly special, the shows and movies she could lose herself in. She wanted to share all of those things with him.

Yeah. Sappy bullshit. Her life had never been the stuff of movies. There was another shoe somewhere waiting to drop.

"Are you okay?"

Bella looked up at Edward and smiled. “Arguing with the voices in my head.”

He furrowed his brow. “There are voices in your head?”

She had to laugh. “Figuratively speaking.”

“Oh. Right. Yes.” He cleared his throat. “What are you arguing about?”

She pulled them to a stop, but didn’t look at him. Instead, she played with his fingers. “How did you get out of the system like this?” she asked, her voice a whisper. “How are you so… light?”

“Light.” He put an arm around her waist. “I’m light?”

“Yes. Light is the perfect way to describe you.” She looked up, her smile sad as she reached for him. Her touch was tentative as she traced the strong line of his jaw, ran her thumb over his lip. “It’s in your eyes. Sometimes I look at you, and I think I can see the whole universe in your eyes. And other times, you’re just so happy about the simplest things.” Pushing onto her tiptoes, she kissed him. “Sometimes I have a hard time believing you’re real.”

He took her hand and pressed her palm to his lips, kissing her there. Then, he pressed his palm to his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. “I’m real.”

Christ, he was intense. “There’s got to be something wrong with you.”

The corner of his mouth tugged briefly downward. “Well, I am unemployed and somewhat aimless.”

“You know, they tell me that should be a big deal, and yet…” She clucked her tongue and chuckled, tugging him along. “Do you want to come over? Strictly for nerd purposes. I want to subject you to either Supernatural or The X-Files next. I promise to keep my hands to myself.” She slid her hands down, briefly cupping his ass. “Mostly.”

~0~

“Okay.” Bella sat down on the couch cross legged, facing Edward. “Now, this is a difficult and important decision for your next fandom experience. First, you have the X-Files. It’s classic. It’s spooky. It was groundbreaking in its time. Plus, holy crow, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny. Who wouldn’t want to be in middle of that sandwich? Gillian is my original girl crush. It’s also making a comeback this year, so that’s exciting.

“On the other hand, we have Supernatural. Also spooky. I realize this isn’t a draw for you, but damn, these boys are pretty. Plus, Mark Sheppard. Not so pretty, but he’s Mark Sheppard. Badger from Firefly. Supernatural is kind of its own X-File, if you ask me. No one watches this damn show, and yet it’s going into its eleventh season. I’m pretty sure someone sold their soul to the devil.” She clucked her tongue, shaking her head in mock judgment.

“Anyway,” she said. “Really, the choice comes down to aliens or angels.”

He started and choked on his drink. “Aliens and what?” he asked between coughs.

“Angels.” She rubbed his back. “But it’s not like a religious thing. Not really. You don’t really realize it until season four, but Supernatural is basically Bible fanfic. Angels are dicks.”

He seemed to find that funny. “My curiosity is piqued. Supernatural it is.”

“Yay.” She clapped, excited. She reached for the remote and almost fell off the couch in surprise when someone knocked on her door with gusto.

Bella and Edward both got to their feet. She crossed to door, throwing it open. Jasper rushed in. “Have you seen Peter?”

Taken aback, Bella grabbed him by the arm to still his frantic movement. “Are you... Jesus Christ, Jasper, your nose.”

He shrugged her off impatiently. “Have you seen my brother?”

“There is blood pouring out of your nose and you want me to give a shit about Peter right now? What the hell happened?”

“Peter!” Jasper shook his head, irritated.

“Your brother doesn’t like me. He’s never liked me. Why the hell would I see Peter?”

Jasper groaned and sat down heavily on the couch. “Christ, I’m dizzy.” He rubbed his head. “He was with James. I thought they were going to go to the shop. Your shop.”

“I wasn’t at my shop tonight. Hold on. Let me look at you.” She put her hand carefully to his forehead brushing his hair back to look in his eyes. “Christ, Jasper. You really need to get to the hospital. Why did Peter hit you?”

He huffed. “Because he’s an asshole.” He grimaced as Bella turned his face. There was another bruise on his jaw. “He’s getting in deeper, Bells.”

Bella looked up at Edward. “I’m sorry. You think you can help me get him in the car? I’ll drop you off on the way to the hospital.”

Edward didn’t answer right away. He studied her, and she thought for sure he was going to insist on staying with her. Instead, he nodded. “Okay.”

He stepped over to Jasper. “May I?” he said, reaching out both hands in offering.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow, looking at him quizzically.

“He does this thing. Acupressure. It might make you feel better, though I’m still taking you to the hospital. You probably have a concussion.”

“Okay, okay, Doctor Bella.”

Bella moved to the side, and Edward pressed his fingers to Jasper’s temples. Jasper sucked in a breath. “Oh. Yeah. Wow. That does feel a lot better.”

“Still go to the doctor, though,” Edward said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Thank you,” Bella said, kissing Edward. “And thank you for being so cool about this. I’m really sorry.”

He looked worried, but he nodded. “Of course, Bella,” he said as he moved to help Jasper to his feet.

“I’m fine, man. I mean. I can walk,” Jasper said. He took a step as though in demonstration and stumbled a bit, off kilter.

“I’m sure you’re capable of walking,” Edward said, his tone dry. “However, whether or not you should is debatable.” He put Jasper’s arm around his shoulder, letting him walk with support.

**  
Shaking her head, Bella followed them out to the car. Just another day in her crazy life.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to MyOnlyHeroin, barburella, and songster for their assistance. Of course I was going to choose Supernatural for the next fandom thing. Hah. 
> 
> Anyway. What are we thinking, kids?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Inside Out is my happy place. That movie makes me so happy. Which is neither here nor there.

Bella hadn’t ever really liked Peter. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand why Jasper stuck by him. It was the same reason Bella stuck by all of them--James, Victoria, Laurent--even though she knew damn well they were into things she’d rather not think about. They were family. It went even deeper for Jasper and Peter as they were flesh and blood brothers.

 

By the time they left the hospital the night before, well after midnight, Jasper was sufficiently out of it not to argue when Bella took him to her place. He had a concussion and a broken nose among other, more minor injuries. It was a little awkward. She didn’t think the people she rented the room from would mind her having someone over, but she also didn’t want to send Jasper to the home he shared with his big brother.

 

Bella woke, woozy, in the morning. She woke to a sense of unease and sat up from her place on the floor. Something was wrong.

 

When she looked out her window and saw a face staring in, she yelped. Just as quickly, she clapped a hand over her own mouth, strangling her scream. “God,” she said on a breath. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

 

Opening her eyes, she glared out the window at Peter. He glared right back and opened his mouth. She stood, putting a finger to her lips with enough emphasis to get his attention. She pointed to the bed where Jasper was sleeping. Then, she pointed to the front of the house.

 

As she opened the door, Peter started to come inside, but Bella put a hand to the center of his chest and pushed him backward.

 

“Hey!” His arms pinwheeled as he stumbled backward, landing heavily on his feet off the step.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” she whisper-hissed.

 

“I’m casing the joint. What the fuck do you think I’m doing here? Where’s my brother?”

 

“He’s sleeping.” He started to move past her, and she blocked him. “He’s sleeping because his fucking brother beat him to high hell and that kind of takes a lot out of a guy.”

 

He had the decency to look the slightest bit abashed. “Hey, I told the little shit to stay the hell out of my business. He--”

 

Bella held up a hand. “I’m going to save you the time and effort. There’s only one excuse to hit another human being and that’s in self defense.” She looked him up and down. “Wow. Not a single scratch on you. I can see you were obviously in fear for your life.”

 

He scowled at her. “Can you just tell me if he’s okay?”

 

“Are you kidding me right now?”

 

“Fucking Christ, Bella.” He clenched his fists at his sides and took a step toward her. “Do you always have to be such a pain in the ass? I mean his… injuries or whatever. Is he okay?”

 

“No. He’s not. He’s got a broken nose; he’s concussed, and he’s got a collection of bruises that would have made your daddy proud.”

 

Peter’s body went rigid at that. “Don’t be such a bitch,” he said through clenched teeth, obviously having to work hard to tamp down his anger. “I’m not anything like my father.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Okay. That’s why you put your brother in the hospital. Not unlike what your father did to you.”

 

“I was in the hospital for five fucking days. I’m not my father.”

 

“Keep your fucking voice down. You want to get me kicked out of here?”

 

“You think I give a shit what happens to you? Let me see my brother.”

 

Bella gnashed her teeth, trying hard not to cry. She didn’t want this asshole to see her cry. Not today. He wouldn’t understand that she cried more out of anger and frustration than sadness, though she was sad, too. “Look. You and I both know he’s going to go back to you. He always does. Let me take care of him. Let me clean up your mess, and as soon as he’s feeling better, I’m sure he’ll go running straight back to you. He’ll forgive you over and over until you kill him.”

 

“Okay, are you done, Oprah?”

 

“No. I have a question for you.” Bella stepped down one step, coming into his personal space. “What the hell were you doing at the comic shop?

 

She saw the flicker of… something cross his face. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Why did Jasper think you were going to the shop? My shop?”

 

“What, do you own the place now?”

 

Bella pressed up onto the balls of her feet, staring him down. He breathed in sharply through his nose. “Don’t fuck with me, Bella.”

 

“Why? Are you going to beat me up too? Go ahead. I’m not your little sister, Peter. I’ll call the cops on you so fast your head will spin.”

 

“You’re fucking paranoid, you know that? You think I’m going to beat you up. You think something’s going on at your shop. You know, James has been saying the new dick you’re sucking is some kind of law. I didn’t think you’d be that stupid, but maybe there’s something to that.”

 

Bella stared. “Is that what you think? You think Edward’s some kind of plant?” She blanched. She knew what her friends did had to be illegal. Drugs she’d figured, but at a minor level. Minor dealing. Petty theft. Nothing anyone would waste taxpayer dollars on. “Peter. What the hell are you up to that would warrant that kind of surveillance?”

 

Peter stared at her, paranoia and suspicion heavy in his expression. “Don’t pull that innocent shit with me. Why are you so nosy all of a sudden? It’s this kind of shit that brought you to the attention of people like Felix, you know that? And if you think you’re going to get Jasper involved in that shit--”

 

“Are you kidding me with this? I’m putting Jasper in danger?”

 

“You’re way out of your league pissing Felix off. Do you realize who he is? You really want to mess with the Scarpinato brothers?”

 

Bella had heard that name before. Her blood ran cold. “That’s who you’re all working for? Holy fuck. Holy fuck. What the hell, Peter?” She heard the whine that crept into her voice as she thought about James, Victoria, and Laurent. “What the hell have you all gotten into?”

 

He seemed conflicted and confused as he looked her in the eyes. “Look, whatever. Stay the fuck out of it, okay? Both of you. Why do you think I hit him? He’s trying to get in my business. I’m trying to do what’s right by him.”

 

“You think getting into this kind of trouble is what’s right for him?”

 

The glare was back in full force. Peter pointed a finger in her face. “He’s got a roof over his head and food in his belly.”

 

“He has a job.”

 

“A job that will get him what? What you have? A room in someone else’s house?” Peter shook his head. “That’s no life, Bella. He deserves better, and I’m going to make sure he’s taken care of.”

 

“By getting him involved with the fucking Scarpinato brothers?”

 

He threw his hands in the air. “Are you even fucking listening to me? That’s what I’m trying not to do. Look, just tell him it got out of hand, okay? And you--whatever you’re up to with that prick boyfriend of yours, get out now.”

 

Peter started to walk away, but Bella darted after him. She grabbed his arm and turned him back around. “Edward doesn’t know anything. He’s new to town. He doesn’t even have a job. Leave him alone.”

 

“Like I want to get anywhere near the asshole. I just wanted to see my brother. Get off my nuts.”

 

Bella let him go then and watched, heart hammering, as he drove away. When he was out of sight, she sat on the stoop, her head in her hands. Her head spun.

  
For years now, she’d turned a blind eye to the kind of trouble her friends were getting into. She and Jasper both had, because to do otherwise would be too maddening. They were helpless. Ultimately, Peter, James, Victoria, Laurent...they would do what they wanted. She also knew they tried to keep Bella and Jasper out of it as much as possible. It was an unspoken agreement; they wouldn’t turn away from the things they were doing, but they wouldn’t involve Bella and Jasper since they’d grown up clean, so to speak.

 

She rocked back and forth on the stoop, trying not to cry. How many times? How many times in her broken, shattered life would she have to convince herself she could have happiness? Peace? She had cobbled together a family, and for better or worse, she loved them. They were dysfunctional, but they were hers. She would work hard, and she’d have a normal life.

 

Peter’s words had shattered that illusion thoroughly. Not only were her friends, her family, in deeper than she could have imagined, but there was every likelihood they’d involved her innocent life in their fuckery. Reading between the lines, she found a narrative that made sense, that finally explained why James and his stupid friend Felix had been acting so weird.

 

James wasn’t concerned that Edward was going to hurt her. He was concerned because Edward was circling too close to his business. Which meant that something was happening at the comic shop that involved the Scarpinato brothers.

 

Bella shivered at the thought, simultaneously heartbroken, terrified, and furious. The owners of the shop had been so good to her. Bella had worked her ass off to earn their trust. She’d worked hard--good, honest work.

 

And Edward. Poor Edward who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, feeding their delusions and paranoia. He’d already been hurt, and it was Bella’s fault. Not directly, of course, but it was her friends who were targeting him.

 

When she’d calmed, she raised her head, her eyes dry. Life hadn’t ever been easy for her. There was no reason it should start now.

~0~

Edward watched Bella with Jasper at lunch, unseen by human eyes. They spoke quietly, heads bent together and sadness radiating off them.

 

“He’s proud,” Jasper said. “Proud he and James have gotten so close to Felix lately. Apparently, Felix is a big deal.”

 

“Felix is a grabby asshole.”

 

Jasper’s head jerked up, and his eyes widened. “You’ve met him?”

 

Bella grimaced. “It was nothing. He and James have decided Edward is a threat. Felix tried to intimidate me.”

 

“Bella, Felix is dangerous. I mean really dangerous. That was what started the whole thing. Peter came home a few nights ago fucked up. Not with drugs. I mean, he was shaking. Almost crying. James was right behind him. They made me go away, but you know I heard them. James was saying how Peter had to nut up if he was going to run with the big boys, and the guy who got killed had it coming.”

 

“They’re killing people now?” Bella said a little too loudly. She rubbed her temples. “How did it get this bad, Jasper?”

 

Edward should have been jumping for joy. He’d known from the start the only way to get her away from her troublesome friends was to get her to see how dangerous they’d become. This was his plan coming to fruition, but he ached for her. He didn’t have to read her mind to know the depth of her sorrow.

 

Besides that, Edward was in no rush for this particular task to end. No, that thought was abhorrent to him indeed.

 

He had a few thoughts on the matter. After all, it wasn’t as though Bella would stop needing protection once she got away from her friends. If anything, it would be easier to protect her if he was by her side. There was no reason--

 

Edward heard the flutter of immense wings and was suddenly no longer in Bella’s home, watching her with Jasper. He blinked, identifying his surroundings as somewhere near Mount Everest on one of the mountain peaks that wasn’t nearly as interesting merely because it was a few feet shorter.

 

He turned, not at all surprised to find Carlisle behind him. The high-angel’s wings were still spread wide and magnificent. Though he’d had cause to see a high-angel’s wings many times in his limitless existence, Edward was, as always, awestruck. The wingspan alone would have overwhelmed even the steadiest human. The color, edged with the brightest gleam of gold, had no name. He stood on the rock above Edward, looking down with an expression of divine benevolence.

 

Edward bowed his head in deference and merely waited.

 

“Do you know what a nephilim is?"

 

Edward's head shot up. "The offspring of a human and an angel. They're mythical, and even if they weren't, I’m quite certain I’ve done nothing that would result in one. Granted, I have no experience in the matter, but unless I’m seriously mistaken about human anatomy, I feel confident in saying there will be no child.”

 

“This human. This woman. She has an effect on you. She clouds your judgment.” He stepped down from the rock, so he could look Edward in his eyes. He paced around him, pinning Edward with his gaze. “You’ve been unable to resist her. I have no reason to believe you would stop at mere kisses.”

 

Edward should have been ashamed, but he wasn’t. He was angry. “Are you forbidding me? What will you do now? Recall me to heaven?”

 

Carlisle came toward him, his step measured. “Angels aren’t built with free will, but neither is your will mine to own. However, there is something you should take into consideration.”

 

He pressed something into Edward’s hand. At first, Edward was sure there had to be some mistake. Any number of endless possibilities had occurred to him as Carlisle had yanked him away, but this wasn’t one of them.

 

“This is a condom,” Edward said.

 

At that, Carlisle grinned. Then he laughed. “You must forgive me. How could I resist? It’s not so often an angel has the opportunity to give ‘the talk.’”

 

“I’m as aware of human anatomy in all its forms and functions as you,” Edward said, still somewhat moody over the joke. He’d been dreading the fallout of his actions since the first kiss. He sat, staring out over the land, taking a moment to stretch his own wings. “What I’m doing. Are there repercussions?”

 

Carlisle sat beside him. “I’m afraid that’s beyond my knowledge. I know angels who have chosen to fall, but none who have attempted to remain in their human vessels on Earth.”

 

Edward looked to Carlisle. “So, you did hear that thought.”

 

“Of course.” Carlisle studied him a moment. “I’m afraid you have another concern.”

 

“I have many concerns.”

 

“One that may weigh heavily on your plans.”

 

Edward felt a queer stirring in his stomach. It wasn’t comfortable. “Tell me.”

 

“I already told you. I told you that this body only has whatever time the original Edward Cullen had left before you stole his life from him.”

 

The stirring in his stomach got worse. “What are you saying?”

 

Carlisle’s expression was full of sympathy. “Three months.”

 

Edward stood. “He was a young man.”

 

“Young men die. Your Bella should have died when she was mere months old.”

 

Edward was quiet for minutes. “If I was to fall? This body?”

 

“It would be yours, and you know you have no fixed points. You may have five decades, five years, or five minutes.”

 

Again, Edward lapsed into silence. He didn’t even know if three months was long enough to get her away from her dangerous friends.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Edward asked. “This is not how things are done.”

 

“As I said, Edward, angels aren’t built to want free will, to pursue what they want instead of what they were ordered to do.” He smiled. “And yet here you are. You desire. In more ways than one. I suppose that intrigues me.”

 

Edward bowed his head. His throat was tight. That too was uncomfortable. “May I go back to her now?”

 

“Your will is your own.”

 

Edward turned to Carlisle and nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”

  
“Good luck, Edward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to my darling girls Nikki, JessyPT, songster, MoH, barburella - they make my docs a wonderful place to be.
> 
> And YOU. Yes, you. I lava you. <3 Thank you for making my Facebook group a glorious place to be. Castielward has never looked better.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies for the shorty chapter. I had other plans for this chapter, but Edward did what he wanted, as per usual. Don’t look at me, folks, I’m just the writer.

Normally, when Bella introduced him to something new, she all but vibrated in place. She called it geekergy--an energy fueled by the discovery of something wonderful, something most of the rest of the world didn’t know how to appreciate properly. He loved that she found something profound in these silly little stories.

 

Today, though, Bella was silent. Usually, she could hardly keep her eyes off him, watching for his reaction. And woe be to him if he missed something she thought was critical. She always ended up pausing so she could explain to him why he was so lame for missing something so obvious.

 

Edward kept his head forward, processing the show just in case she really was paying attention. Most of his attention, though was focused on the problem at hand. It was strange. He should have felt some level of satisfaction. After all, his mission, the point of his time on Earth, was to help Bella untangle herself from the dangerous web that had been spun all around her. The first step was for her to arrive at the conclusion her friends were in too deep for her to save them.

 

Seeing it, seeing heartbreak written all over her face felt terrible. He wanted to ease her pain. He might have been able to, but surely that couldn’t be written off as acupressure. Acupressure wouldn’t cure what was broken in her.

 

No. She had to come to this painful realization on her own. Still, he could ease that pain a bit. In a human way.

 

A very human way.

 

Some nights before, Rosalie had come home from work stressed. There was nothing supernatural about Emmett. He couldn’t solve her problem. He couldn’t tell her she didn’t have to go back to work the next day. Yet, he’d eased her pain. He’d nuzzled along her ear, murmuring things he thought Edward couldn’t hear. Then... Well…

 

“You can’t possibly be scared, are you?”

 

Edward looked over to find Bella staring at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Scared?” he asked, because that made no sense. Why would he be scared? Even as a human, surely he was supposed to know a fictional television show wasn’t a frightening thing.

 

“This is you right now.” Bella hunkered down in her seat, furrowing her eyebrows and crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

 

He huffed and made an effort to loosen up. “Not scared. I thought you said this show was about angels and demons.”

 

“That’s not what I said. The demons will show up shortly but Castiel, that’s my baby, doesn’t show up until the first episode of season 4.” She grinned at him. “Then it’s all Destiel--that’s Dean and Castiel--all the time.” She leaned in as though to whisper a secret. “Jasper says I’m crazy with the whole Destiel thing. You’ll be able to cast the deciding vote.”

 

“That does sound frightening.”

 

“Jasper does say I’m a little intense about it.” Her eyes dimmed as she spoke his name again, worry taking over as quickly as it had been alleviated.

 

“On second thought, I suppose scared is a good word for what I am.” He picked up the controller and paused the video. “Though I’m not frightened by ladies in white and Bloody Mary.”

 

She seemed taken aback by that. “What do you mean? I thought you were enjoying the show. And are you crazy? If I hadn’t seen every episode of Supernatural a million times, I’d be cowering under the blankets by now.”

 

“Ah.” Edward put his arm around her shoulders and scooted closer to her. He cupped her cheek and brushed a thumb over her lips. “To be honest, Bella, the only thing in the universe that scares me is you.”

 

He kissed her then, a serious kind of kiss. He let his hand drop from her cheek to her shoulder and then down her arm. He cupped his other hand around the back of her neck, up under her hair. She sighed into his mouth and walked her fingers up his spine.

 

“What are you so afraid of?” Bella asked, her voice husky. She hadn’t really pulled away, so her words vibrated against his lips. The thrill of it, the way he became hyper-aware of his body and hers and the way they moved together, would never cease to enthrall him.

 

He kissed her cheek and along her jaw. He bumped the tip of his nose under her chin, and when she tilted her head back, he pressed a kiss to her throat. “I’m afraid I want to do much more than kiss you.”

 

Bella traced the pad of her thumb over Edward’s lips, looking into his eyes. A slow, sexy smile spread wide across her face. “Why don’t we go to my room, and we can talk about just how much more you want.”

 

Edward didn’t need to be told twice. Bella shrieked when he threw her over his shoulder and ran with her to her room. She giggled, her hands falling randomly on his back as she smacked him in retaliation. He kicked the door of her room shut and tossed her on the bed, climbing over her. He peppered her face with kisses, surprised at the urgency that washed over him then.

 

“May I touch you?” Edward asked, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He propped himself up on his arm, looking down.

 

Her face was flushed, but her smile was gentle--that smile she used when she was about to tell him he was sweet. She ran her fingers up and down his chest. “Yeah, baby. Of course.”

 

Surprising again how that simple pet name--a name millions of humans called each other--could make him even more… What was he? What was this?

 

Edward drew his fingers from her neck down, down. He cupped her breast through her shirt, and why that simple touch, the soft swell of her body through a shirt for pity’s sake, aroused him, he didn’t quite understand. He understood human bodies as machines, but the experience of one--suffice it to say, actually owning a human body was strange.

 

However, the upside of understanding the body as a machine was that he knew exactly what to do with one. He knew every nerve ending, every erogenous zone. He pulled Bella into a sitting position and pulled her shirt off.

 

Bella was patient. For all he did know how a body was built, Bella’s reaction was a mystery. Her body arched up into his touch when he tickled her tummy. Her reactions were different. When he fastened his mouth to her breast, blowing hot air against the fabric of her bra, she giggled, and rubbed the back of his neck. When he unhooked her bra and used his hands, running his fingers along the bottom of her breasts and his thumbs over her nipples, she moaned, tightening her grip in his hair.

 

“I want to taste you,” Edward said. What he really meant was he wanted to hear her. Already, the sound of her pleasure was the best thing in his world. He had served entities humans would have considered gods. He had been present when this particular universe had been sparked into being. Yet in all the things he had done, how he had served humanity, nothing seemed as satisfying as the idea of serving her. He could smell her arousal, knew the flavor of the pheromones she exuded.

 

“Oh god.” She tugged on his shirt. “You’re not even naked.”

 

He ducked his head and sucked at her collarbone. “Neither are you.”

 

Bella hummed. She ran her hands down his back and pulled his shirt up. “Let’s fix that first.” She looked at him. “If you’re okay with that.”

 

He let her pull his shirt off, but then he quickly got hold of her hands. He pinned them on either side of her head and leaned over her, straddling her on his knees. “I am more than comfortable with you, but tonight, I’d like to concentrate on you.” He ducked his head to catch her lips.

 

The way she moaned into his mouth was all the affirmative answer he needed. Rolling so he was propped up on one arm, he let his other hand drift between them and rubbed between her legs. He found the zipper of her jeans and drew it down, teasing her with his fingertips on her pretty panties.

 

When Edward had helped her out of her clothes, he knelt on the bed, merely looking at her. When she tried to curl her leg up, to make herself less vulnerable, he caught her by the ankle.

 

“Do you need instructions?” Bella asked, teasing.

 

He smirked and tickled the backs of her knees. “You are a work of art. Did you know that?” He leaned down to kiss her ankle and ran his tongue up her leg. “The unique set of characteristics that make up your physical form. Long legs.” He touched the tangle of dark hair between her legs. “Brown hair. The shape of your breasts. The cut of your nose. Your chin. Those eyes. Bella, you’re a wonder. I could stare at you for hours.”

 

“That could get awkward,” Bella said, but her eyes were lit with a glow Edward had never seen in them before. There wasn’t a trace of her previous torment.

 

Could she feel as he did? As though nothing else in the world mattered but the two of them? There was nothing to worry about. No timelines to worry about for him. No friends to worry about for her. They were the only two people in all of existence.

 

Edward kissed and nipped his way along Bella’s inner thighs. He loved the way he could make her wiggle. He found her clit and pressed his tongue flat against it, lapping first. He moistened his fingers and teased her lips.

 

“Oh, hell.” Her fingers dug into the skin of his shoulder. “Edward Cullen, you’re a damn liar.”

 

He raised his head. “Come again?”

 

“You’ve done this before.”

 

He rested his head on her bent knee. “I can assure you, I haven’t.” Of course he hadn’t, but he was also not prone to such human traits as embarrassment. He’d been a warrior. There was no need to be bashful about this. “However, there are a plethora of how-to manuals on the subject.”

 

“That’s, uh...ah!” Her legs came up, and her hips thrust against his mouth as he entered her with his tongue. “Fuck. Jesus. That’s… that’s called porn, you weirdo. Don’t try to--ungh--play coy with me. Manual my ass.”

 

Edward got to his knees and propped Bella’s legs on his shoulders, lifting her lower body up off the bed. She squeaked, trying to lay flat again, but he held her, giving her ass a pinch. “I know a few things I could do to your ass.”

 

“Gah! Where is my sweet, innocent flower? Jesus Christ, Edward.” As he set her back down and got back to exploring her with his tongue, she flexed her legs against his back. “You’re so good with your hands.”

 

That was another good thing about being an angel. In his years of watching, Edward had noted that humans weren’t good at doing two things at once. On the other hand, Edward had two hands, a mouth, and various powers at his disposal. He could have made her come with a single touch, but he figured that would be cheating.

 

In any case, his superhuman powers would have been overkill. He took his time, filing away bits and pieces of his time with Bella. How she tasted, how she smelled, how she responded when he was rough, when he was gentle.

 

The sound of her reaching ecstasy was likely the best moment of Edward’s existence.

 

As he gathered her limp, pliant form into his arms, it occurred to Edward that it was strange. Bella had been consistently overwriting his best moments. He was older than he could possibly express. In his business as an angel, he had watched and facilitated, with others, the evolution that would lead to humanity’s existence. Among the humans he’d been assigned to, there had been kings, inventors, savants.

 

Before Bella, humans had been his mission. Angels were made to worship a cause higher than themselves. Often enough in history, humans had worshipped the angels, not the other way around. Edward’s concept of himself, of his purpose, was changing almost by the day.

 

As Bella came back to herself, she didn’t speak. Neither did he. They simply lay together, caressing each other’s faces with fingertips that soon became moist with kisses. Humans, he was beginning to realize, had no concept of their own insignificance. They worshipped each other. And why shouldn’t they? Why shouldn’t they when it could be like this?

  
Long after Bella fell asleep, Edward pondered the appeal of humanity, its limitations, and the fragile human in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *whistles* 
> 
> How we doing out there?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, friends. Sorry about the wait! By Proxy is up next. Promise. Until then...onward.

Every time the bell above the door jangled, Bella’s heart skipped a beat. She wondered whom they would send. James would be the best case scenario, and that wouldn’t be pretty. Peter she could likely handle.

What frightened her the most was the possibility it would be Felix who came through the door. It was inevitable that one of them would show up. Her faith in her friends had been shaken. Would James even care now if Felix came after her?

It was James who came into the store and luckily, while she had no other customers. If she hadn’t known what she was looking for, she might have missed the anger in his features. He put on a charming smile as he strode up to her, but Bella could tell he knew.

She was only a little surprised when he started making small talk. Surprised and suspicious. She had the sinking feeling he was trying to get her guard down. The thought twisted her stomach and chipped away at her already severely damaged trust in him.

“Hey, Bells, can I use your bathroom?”

Bella wanted to throw up. “No.”

James, already walking toward the back door, skidded to a stop. “What?”

Bella moved in case she needed to block him from the door. “It’s an employee-only area.”

“That’s never mattered before.”

Here goes nothing. “Yeah, well, I didn’t know you were using my place of employment as a… I don’t even know. I checked and triple checked the registers. I know you weren’t stealing from me. I did inventory, so I know you’re not taking any products. Which, by the way, is the only reason I didn’t call the cops.”

James narrowed his eyes. “Oh, it’s going to be like that?”

“You tell me how it’s going to be, James. You tell me why I had to spend my own money to change the locks on all the doors and get the security cameras fixed.”

“Why did you use your own money for that?”

“Because it’s my dickhead friends who are using this place for god only knows what!”

He huffed. “How the hell did you find out?”

“The night Peter beat Jasper up, you were coming here. Which was funny seeing as I was off that day.” She shook her head. “I’m not an idiot, James. I know the assholes you hang out with. Whatever this is, this is why you and that prick Felix are so paranoid about Edward.”

James’s face turned from consternation to fury. “You think it’s a coincidence that all this is happening now? That asshole got you all suspicious, mistrusting your friends.”

Bella’s eyes went wide with incredulity. “Are you actually listening to yourself right now? Are you or are you not coming into the shop I work at--a shop run by good people who are amazing to me--when you have no business being here?”

“Bella, look. You’re thinking about this all wrong.” James shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I’m doing this for you.”

“Oh, this I have to hear,” Bella said, crossing her arms.

“You, or I guess your boss, has been enjoying all the perks without having to lift a finger.” James gestured to the display case that held the consignments. “Like these. You really think any of this junk is worth anything? But it sells, right?”

Bella let the implication of that sink in. She balked. “You’re using my job to launder money?”

“And you get the consignment fee. Everyone wins.”

“Everyone wins? Everyone wins what? Equal jail time? You’ve made me and the people I work for complicit in a crime, James. You think the police are just going to believe we didn’t know?”

James shook his head. “We’re not going to get caught. The brothers know what they’re doing.”

“Christ.” Bella ran her hands over her face. “You’re so delusional right now that I don’t know what to do with you. What else?”

“What else what?”

“Stop playing dumb with me. You laundering money by selling worthless crap as collectibles doesn’t explain why you’re in here after we close up. What else are you using this place for?”

“Bella...you have to see, the protection you--”

“Tell me what’s going on!”

“Look, it’s really nothing, okay? It’s a drop-off point. Nothing else. Stuff comes in, it has to lay quiet for a couple of days. That’s all.”

“What kind of stuff?” Bella asked.

“There are things you don’t need to know.”

“Don’t give me that. I deserve to know what I’m going to go to prison for.”

“God, you’re so fucking dramatic. Who the hell do you think I am, Bella? You think I would let any of this get near you if it was dangerous?”

Bella stepped out from behind the counter, getting into his face. “It is dangerous. It’s always been dangerous.” She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes, angry at the furious, frustrated tears that had accumulated there.”You know what? You’re right. I don’t need to know, because it’s never going to happen again.”

She walked away from him, back behind the counter, trying to steady her shaking hands. “I love you, James. You’re my friend. You’re my brother, so I’m not going to call the police. But if you come back here, I see you or anyone associated with you skulking around here again, I swear I’ll call them.”

“Bella, come on.” James leaned over the counter. “You know I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you?”

“Give me a break, James. Have you already forgotten what Felix did the first time we met? Are you seriously so fucked up you think that was okay behavior?”

“The only reason he grabbed you like that was because he thought you were in league with your god-damned boyfriend.” James pointed a finger in her face, scowling. “You think I’m going to land you in jail? He’s the undercover narc. He’s the one who’s going to bring you down.”

“If, if, Edward was an undercover anything, the only reason he’d have to arrest me is because you turned my workplace into some kind of crime den.” Tears were beginning to sting her eyes. “I can’t believe you would do this to me, Jamie. I would have done anything to protect you, and you drag me into this. You get my boyfriend beat up. You let that dickhead manhandle me. You’re my family. I don’t understand how you could do this.”

“I told you. You’re looking at it the wrong way. I think that,  too--that you’re my family. And they’re my family. They take care of you, because of me.”

Bella laughed. The sound was tired to her own ears. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

“Bella…” James hesitated. “They can be really good. You wouldn’t have to do anything different from what you’re already doing. Just sit back and they’ll take care of everything.”

“Please leave,” Bella said, her tone flat.

“This is bullshit.”

“This is breaking my heart. You’re breaking my heart, and you think something is being done to you.” Bella’s shoulders slumped, and she looked down at the counter, unable to look at him anymore. “Please leave.”

She heard him huff and jumped at the sound of a clatter. She looked up only enough to see he’d knocked over a display. “Do you know how difficult you’re making my life right now? I’m the one that’s going to have to explain this to them.”

Bella’s heart gave a twist in response to the twinge of fear in his voice. For a second, her will wavered. Felix was the least of James’s problem. If he pissed off the Scarpinato brothers…

No. He’d crossed a line Bella couldn’t follow. It was a lesson she’d had to learn over and over. There was only so much she could do to help someone who couldn’t be helped. Her voice shook when she spoke. “I thought you said they took care of you. They’re your family, right?”

With three quick steps, James was behind the counter. He grabbed Bella by the arms, not hard enough to bruise, but enough that she couldn’t wrench herself free. His features were etched in fury as he shook her. “Listen, Bella. Just listen to me.”

Before Bella could kick him in the nuts, as she very much wanted to do, the bell above the door jangled. The instant she looked up, all her breath left her. James, too, stopped what he was doing, and she heard him suck in a breath.

Edward was standing in the doorway. It wasn’t the mere sight of him that rendered her frozen and speechless. No, there was something different about him. There was something huge and intimidating about his presence. There was something powerful in the way he glared down at James, something that would have had Bella’s knees trembling if it were aimed at her. It was a scene straight out of the movies; even his skin seemed to glow.

He looked like an avenging angel--dangerous and fantastic.

  
Bella shook that odd thought off as he approached, his eyes fixed on James. “Get your hands off her,” he said. His tone was absolute.

James released her instantly and took a step back. Still, he scoffed. “What the hell are you going to do about it?” He sneered. “I heard how you cry and beg. I’m not afraid of you.”

To Bella’s surprise, Edward only smiled. It was a cocky kind of grin without even a little fear. “Oh, I do hope you try me. In the interest of fairness though, you should know nothing happens to me that I don’t let happen.”

Bella stepped to Edward’s side, perplexed by this comment. Was he saying he’d let himself get beat up by James’s friends? But that was ridiculous. It was just stupid shit talking.

James huffed. “You’re a fucking psychopath, aren’t you?” He took a step forward.

“Don’t even start, James,” Bella said. “I don’t need him to kick your ass anyway. I could kick it myself, and you know it. Get the hell out of my face.”

He looked to Bella. “You’re choosing this asshole over your family. I hope you’re happy.”

He left then, slamming the door so hard, Bella was afraid the glass would break. Her hands were in fists by her sides, and she had the almost irrepressible urge to destroy all the displays James hadn’t.

“Bella?” Edward’s voice was gentle. When she turned, all the menace had drained from his features, leaving behind her Edward; the sweet, innocent man who looked at her with such tender concern, and her anger left.

Without the shelter and distraction of anger, Bella could feel the extent of her heartbreak. She did love James, and some part of her couldn’t cope with the fact that love wasn’t enough. How could he trust a bunch of violent criminals over her? Not only that, but to put her in danger? To threaten her? To hurt her?

She’d known for a long time she couldn’t help James, but the idea of losing him altogether was something different. She turned and let Edward pull her into his arms. She didn’t cry. She’d known this was coming for too long to cry, but she shook and screamed inwardly.

~0~

Edward had often heard the human phrase ‘be careful what you wish for.’”

James thought it was Edward’s fault all this was happening. He wasn’t technically incorrect. Though it hadn’t been part of his plan, Edward’s very presence had triggered many events within the Scarpinato brother’s network. It had eventually lead them to promote Peter, thus making Jasper react, leading to the evidence that led Bella to understand what her friends had involved her in.

Ironic, that. If he had known he could bring about the outcome he wanted without having to hurt Bella, he’d have…

Edward looked down at the human in his arms. She’d come over to Rosalie’s house after her shift, supposedly to watch Supernatural. Just as before, Edward was sure she wasn’t really watching. She lay with her head on his shoulder, idly playing with his fingers. Every once in a while, she made a half-hearted comment about the episode they were watching, but this, he recognized, was all by rote. She knew all the fan favorite moments and important scenes. She could call them out in her sleep.

Ducking his head, Edward pressed a kiss to Bella’s hair. He hated that she was hurting, and it was his fault. He hated the idea that soon he would have to leave her. He knew better than to think she wouldn’t mourn. It left him in an impossible situation--just how much loss should she be expected to endure in such a short period?

Still, given everything, he was selfish enough to be thankful he hadn’t realized he could accomplish his plan without meeting her. All he’d needed to do was let himself be seen by enough of the Scarpinato brothers’ people to arouse suspicion. Giving her up, though. Giving this up. No. He wouldn’t give this up for all the universes he’d been to.

Now that his task was complete…

No. His task wasn’t complete. Not yet. The whole point was to assure himself that Bella was safe. At least, that she wasn’t so deeply involved in a situation that could easily kill her. Now that the wool had been pulled from her eyes, it should be easier. She wouldn’t wander into trouble accidentally, but there was still the question of retribution.

A person like James had only one reaction to perceived betrayal - revenge. James, like most people who had fallen into a criminal mindset, thought of himself as privileged. No slight was to be tolerated. He wasn’t to be disrespected or angered.

He loved Bella truly, and in this case, it made it all the worse. Because his love for her made his emotions that much more potent. Bella wasn’t out of danger by a longshot, and until he was sure she was free of the Scarpinatos’ wrath, he couldn’t think about leaving her. He wouldn’t.

That small moral quarrel aside, Edward turned to the task of cheering her up. Much as he wanted to, he didn’t think it was a good idea to distract her with sex as he had before.

“Edward?”

“Hmm?”

Bella straightened and shifted, lifting her head so they were face to face. “Do you want a normal life?”

On the television screen, Dean--one of the Winchester brothers in the Supernatural world--was caught in an alternate reality where his mother was alive, his brother was happy, and he was just a normal Joe. It was a profound thought for a character who’d lived his entire life in motel rooms, hunting supernatural beings.

Edward knew enough of human psychology to guess at the connection. Bella felt other. She’d grown up without any kind of steadiness. If home was where the heart was, then her home had once again fallen apart. She must dream of the ideal--home, family, love. It must have felt so unattainable to her right then.

He ran the pad of his thumb along her jaw. “Normal is rather subjective.”

A small smile flickered at the corner of her lips. “You know what I mean.” She gestured at the TV. “White picket fences. A steady job. Someone to grow old with. Maybe a couple of kids.”

Edward hummed and traced the shape of her lips. “I think no one’s life is that straightforward. How normal can something be if it’s not something we all have automatically?”

Again, she smiled as though she found him amusing or endearing. “I didn’t ask to debate the definition of normal. I asked if you wanted that.” She gestured at the TV. “An apple-pie life, or, if you can't answer that, what do you want out of life?”

Edward considered his words before he spoke. “In complete honesty, I’m not sure how to answer that.” He took a tendril of her hair and wound it around his finger as he spoke. “Once, I thought I knew what I wanted, but then my life, everything I’d worked for and every truth I knew, was destroyed.”

She would think he was talking about the fire--the fictional fire that had brought his fictional life in Chicago crashing down around him; sending him feeling for the safety of Rosalie’s arms.

“Now, I’m living in the moment until the remnants of that old life is cleared up.” He moved, pushing her back so she was pinned beneath him on the couch. He kissed her, a long, slow, deep kiss, catching her muffled moans with his mouth.

 **  
**“Right now, Bella?” he said when they had to break the kiss so she could breathe. “The only thing I know for sure, the only thing I want, is you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to MoH, Barburella, and songster on this one. 
> 
> How are you, kids?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Rawwwwr. Bad week for my brainz. But here is an update, my fellows.

Bella was depressed. Edward didn’t need to read her mind to know it. He could feel it in the air and see it in the way she carried herself.

 

She was happy in moments, in small snatches of time. When he kissed her, she still sighed into his mouth. When he cupped her cheek and stroked his thumb along her jaw, her eyes went soft and dreamy. The lure of talking all things geek could bring her old self back. She laughed with real glee when she figured out that, despite his original goal, Edward had no way to actually get into Comic Con.

 

“My baby geek,” she said, and kissed him adoringly. Her smile then was wistful. “One does not simply walk into Comic Con,” she said in a voice that told him she was referencing something.

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, scanning his internal database, and she rolled her eyes, patting his cheek affectionately. “Really? Not even Lord of the Rings? Sean Bean?” she asked. “Well, we’ll just have to add that to the list.”

 

But at the end of the day, the darkness always won. Sadness crept into her expression, her body language, and her look would get far away as she worried her lip between her teeth.

 

Jasper saw it too. That was part of the reason he joined the Supernatural watch-along. He was worried for her, but he also knew exactly what she’d lost. Like Bella, he was also heartbroken and frustrated. They were helpless--caught with no choice but to watch their loved ones make choices that couldn’t possibly end well.

 

In his thoughts, Edward picked up on a nuanced kind of loyalty. For people who had grown up as Bella and her friends had, those few constant people in their lives were precious commodities to hold onto at all costs. The sense of loyalty that evolved from that was often violent in its intensity. Edward could read the all-for-one and one-for-all mentality in Jasper’s thoughts, see it play out over and over again as he grappled with the situation as a whole.

 

Of course, Jasper’s thoughts returned repeatedly to his blood brother.

 

More than once, in his centuries of observing humanity, Edward had marveled at the human propensity to label their fellow man without the benefit of nuance. A bad deed made someone a bad person. It boggled Edward because they need look no further than their own selves to understand that bad things were rarely done in a vacuum. There was always context to consider. Everyone did bad things, and so it was important to note that everyone also did good things.

 

Jasper knew his brother was an asshole. Peter was abusive, and his temper was out of control. He was much deeper into the Scarpinato organization than the others were, and he’d been at it longer.

 

In Jasper’s memories, Edward saw a different side of the man.

 

“I can’t take this,” Jasper said, trying to shove what looked like a lot of money back at his brother.

 

Peter’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be a moron. You’ve been driving yourself crazy about your damn bills all month. Pay the goddamned things, and then ask out that girl, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“What girl?” Jasper asked, his eyes wide.

 

“Oh, don’t even start with me. You think I haven’t figured out why you’re obsessed with going to that same diner over and over again?” Peter snorted. “The waitress. The one with the hair shorter than yours and the cute smile. Christ, kid. You need to get laid. You take that money, and you show that girl a good time. Do me proud.”

 

Peter helped him a lot, and he always, always told him not to tell anyone. Like it would be damaging to his manly image to let people know he loved his brother. He did love his brother. Yeah, Jasper thought, Peter had fucked him pretty good more than once, but that was partly his fault. Jasper knew better than to try to get in his way when he wanted to do something. It was really those other bastards--Felix and Demetri. Peter idolized them, and now, so did James. Victoria followed James. Laurent followed him. It had always been like that.

 

It was Peter who’d kept Jasper’s nose clean, after all. Jasper would have followed his brother--he wasn’t afraid of a fight. He could have Peter’s back, but his brother refused to let him anywhere near the organization he loved so much.

 

Bella, on the other hand… Bella had always been different. She was loyal, and she would do almost anything for her friends, her family. She simply thought the lengths they went to were overdone. They always thought they were righteous in their actions, and those they lashed out against were deserving of their vengeance. Not falling in line with that kind of loyalty, Bella was and always had been the black sheep of their family.

 

Edward frowned, watching another flurry of memories pass through Jasper’s thoughts, a conversation he’d had with Bella when they were all in high school.

 

“I don’t know why you’re so upset, Bells. That girl was an asshole to you. She was cruel. She made you cry, and James and Victoria made her pay for the things she said.” The color of his thoughts was confused and frustrated. “Standing up for your friends is a good thing.”

 

Bella stared at him, an uncertain but incredulous look on her face. “This isn’t normal. Yeah, Lauren was a fucking dick, but they’re words. Like I give a shit at the end of the day about a twatwaffle like her. That’s no excuse for Victoria to beat the shit out of her and James to vandalize her locker. Now they’re both suspended, again, and in all sorts of trouble.”

 

“For you. They did it because they love you.”

 

“I don’t want them to love me like that. I don’t need that. It’s crazy!”

 

Bella didn’t see how those kinds of things put her on a pedestal, like deep down she thought she was better than the rest of them. It had destroyed her relationship with Laurent early on, and now…

 

Now everything was a mess. Jasper was worried. He knew James felt betrayed--the kind of betrayal men like him didn’t let slide without retribution. Their family was in shambles and, to make matters worse, Bella’s name was on the wrong lips. Jasper didn’t know what was going on, but he knew she was being discussed by scary people.

 

“Finally!”

  
Edward and Jasper jumped, both of them having been too wrapped up in Jasper’s memories and worries to realize the episode had ended.

 

“Things are about to get interesting,” Bella said, gleeful as the next episode started. She wound her arm through Edward’s, tugging at him. “Season four, episode one. You finally get to meet Castiel.”

 

“The angel you love?” Edward said, amused at the thought.

 

“Yes,” she said, so excited she squeaked the word. “Oh, he’s a dick at first. The angels are gigantic assholes. Assbutts.” She giggled at some private joke. “But Cas…” She turned, her hand against his chest, and looked at him solemnly. “If you turn out to be one of those weird people who hates Cas, I’m afraid we’re over. No more kisses for you.”

 

He grinned and tilted his head forward, his lips so close to hers his voice vibrated against her skin when he spoke. “I like this guy already.”

 

“Motherfucker knows how to make an entrance,” Jasper said some time later when Castiel finally made his appearance. On screen, the room shook, lights exploded, and a man in a trench coat came striding in. He was impervious to bullets and the hunter’s special demon-killing knife.

 

“So this is the person you say Dean is in love with?” Edward asked.

 

“Dean and Cas is the most epic love story I’ve ever seen in my life,” Bella said with a sigh.

 

“Dean stabbed him through the heart the moment they were introduced. I’m not sure if I approve of your version of a great relationship.”

 

“Shh.” Bella smacked his chest. “Pay attention. You’ll see.”

 

Edward watched, processing, among other things, this interpretation of angels. Humanity’s myths evolved from people trying to explain truths they couldn’t possibly comprehend. Angels, quite obviously, existed. In the whole of human history, it was an impossibility that humans didn’t pick up on an entire species of beings. Their suppositions became part of religious dogma, among other things.

 

Supernatural’s angels got a few things right, Edward mused as he watched Castiel show off the shadows of his wings--proof to a disbelieving Dean that he was indeed a servant of heaven. Edward shifted his own wings--safely hidden from human eyes in another dimension of reality.

 

“Well, as a matter of literary discourse, I can certainly see the foundation of a potential relationship,” Edward said when the episode was over.

 

“Oh, Jesus. Don’t encourage her,” Jasper said, but Edward ignored him.

 

“Dean, despite his swagger and bravado, has a very low self-worth. So here comes this being that has quite literally rescued him from the depths of hell, and Dean can’t understand why. When Castiel said that bit--’What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved’--the look on Dean’s face said it all. This being walked in the door and knew the depths of his soul in a glance.”

 

“Yes!” Bella got so excited that she straddled him, hitting his chest with giddy thumps. “Yes, yes, exactly. From the first second, Cas knows exactly what Dean’s worth. Oh, man. I can’t wait for you to see the rest of it if you see it from here.” She wound her arms around his neck. “I love you,” she said and kissed him.

 

Edward put his hands to her waist, squeezing as he kissed her back. His human heart had begun to pound erratically, and something powerful stirred in his chest.

 

She loved him.

 

She said it flippantly; he knew that. He knew she said it because she was happy he’d picked up on something that was important to her and not blatantly obvious to the viewer. He knew she didn’t mean she loved him, and yet, hearing those words from her lips, he wanted…

 

Well.

 

“Whoa, hey. Okay.” Jasper laughed. “I think that’s my cue.” He stood up.

 

Bella didn’t move from Edward’s lap, but she did look to her friend. “You’re leaving?”

 

“Yeah, I have some things to do.” He winked at her. “I think you might appreciate some privacy, hmm?”

 

Bella’s smile became more mischievous as she looked back to Edward. “Hmm. You might be on to something here.”

 

Jasper scoffed. “Oh, I don’t think I’m the one who’s on something.” He cleared his throat. He looked at Edward. “Hey, man. Before I get out of your hair, is it okay if I bring a friend over next time?”

 

In his head, Edward saw a petite, pretty woman with raven hair. He felt a rush of warmth from Jasper that he could recognize easily now. Jasper had feelings for this woman, and he was nervous about the idea of introducing her to Bella.

 

Edward smiled at the man as he ran a finger along Bella’s spine. He heard her catch her breath, and his smile widened. “Of course it’s fine. The more the merrier and all that,” he said with a wave of his hand, now eager to have Jasper far away from here.

 

Jasper nodded. “Thanks. See you tomorrow then. Same bat time. Same bat channel.”

 

No sooner had the door closed than Edward tightened his grip on Bella’s waist. Her fingers tangled in his hair, and as their lips crashed together, her mouth opened to his. In seconds, this wasn’t enough. Edward pressed forward, laying her down on the couch with his body pinning hers. He kept most of his weight off her, leaning on one arm, but his body still pressed against her as they kissed.

 

Her hands ran over his back and down to cup his ass, pulling him harder against her.

 

When she reached between them, her hands skimming over his jeans where he was hottest, Edward broke their kiss. He swallowed a moan and shook his head. “I want to taste you,” he said. He would live for the rest of eternity, and he was sure the sound of her ecstasy would be the best thing he’d ever hear.

 

Beneath him, Bella studied his face. “I think I owe you one or...five,” she said, the look in her eyes careful though her tone teased him. “I want to make you feel good, baby. If you want. If you’re ready.”

 

Edward blew out a shaky breath, trying to orient his thoughts. He was fairly sure she could feel that at least part of him was more than willing and ready to go. Guilt tugged at him, and he wished she would stop what she was doing. Her fingers played at his hip, rubbing in a circular motion that was meant to soothe him. As usual, she thought he was an innocent.

 

Far from being innocent, it wasn’t his fear of the unknowns of sex that was making him skittish. He might console himself that he was technically telling the truth--he was a virgin--but that only deepened his sense of guilt. He could make as many excuses as he liked about the greater good and that he was only here to save her life. The fact remained, he was deceiving her to do it. Already, this would cost her too much. He didn’t want to take anything else from her, not even when it was willingly and eagerly given.

 

He straightened up and pulled her upright with him. Perhaps he should have let her go, but instead, he brought her closer to him, leaving her legs draped over his lap as he supported her back with his arm. He tilted his forehead against hers. “I don’t…” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to find words that she might understand. “I find great satisfaction in touching you.” He kissed her--a soft, sweet kiss. “Tasting you.” He moved his lips down to her throat and smiled in spite of himself when his kiss there elicited a small gasp. “Hearing you.”

 

She whimpered and tilted her head back as he sucked gently at a pulse point. Her thumbs rubbed at the space behind his ear. He walked his fingers up and down her back.

 

As his questing mouth began to move down, she caught his face in her hands and tilted it back up. Her face was flushed, her full lips parted, and her eyes filled with lust. “You like hearing me?”

 

“Mmhmm,” he said, moving his hands up her shirt along her side, tickling her so he could hear the breathless noises she made.

 

She kissed him, teasing his tongue with hers a moment before leaning back. “You’re saying my pleasure gives you pleasure?”

 

“Yes,” he whispered, chasing after her for another kiss.

 

She evaded him, her eyes pinning his. “That’s why I want to touch you.” She trailed her fingers down to his neck. “To feel you. To hear you.” She moved to straddle him again and began to move her hips over his. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked, her lips against his ear.

 

His body, his oh-too-human body, didn’t need Edward’s input. As she rolled over him, he rose up to meet, her. He tightened his arms around her. “Tell me,” he said, his throat gone dry.

 

“When I think about touching you, hearing you, I get so hot, I touch myself.”

 

Edward groaned and thrust his hips against hers. “Oh hell,” he said on a breath.

 

Bella kept moving over him, her rhythm achingly slow. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

He tried to remind himself he was an eons old entity, an angel with powers and knowledge this little human couldn’t begin to comprehend. He could say no. He should.

 

“No,” he said, forgetting in that instant the actual question she’d asked.

 

No. No, he very much didn’t want her to stop.

 

She kissed him, and he was surprisingly shaky as he kissed her back. The thing was that Edward could master control of this body when he wished to. He’d done it before when he’d been with her, had her hot, wiggling body in his arms. He could dampen and quell the needs and desires of this body when he wanted to.

 

“You like this?” Bella asked against his lips.

 

“Yes.”

 

She stroked her fingertips down low, around his belly button under his shirt. “You like this?”

 

“Yes.” He shivered with pleasure at her touch.

 

Her fingers skimmed him through his jeans. “Can I touch you?” She kissed him. “Can I feel you?”

 

He licked his lips. He couldn’t deny her now. To deny her now would only be to hurt her, and for what? And, oh sweet Jesus yes, yes, he wanted her. “Yes.”

 

She scooted back on his lap and unbuttoned his fly. Edward couldn’t help but close his eyes. He shuddered when he felt her hand on him. For seconds, he held on to his supernatural control on this body. Then he let go, let him feel everything as a human would feel it.

 

Or perhaps this was different. After all, a human his age would have known touch, if only his own. They would have known sensation and lust. While he understood all of those processes, Edward, the angel, Edward the angel, had no basis of knowledge for what they felt like. He had no basis of knowledge of feeling at all.

 

Maybe that was what made her simple touch so powerful. Pleasure shot down Edward’s spine with the violence of a knife wound to the back--all shock but absolutely no pain. His body jolted, and Bella laughed. “Whoa, tiger. Easy.” She took a firm grip of him with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other. “I’ll take care of you.”

 

He opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was a low, guttural groan. He had no words. She had no idea what she was doing to him. Before Bella, his world, his existence made perfect sense. Now…

 

She pressed tiny kisses along the shell of his ear. “Can I taste you?”

 

By that point, he was helpless but to give her what she wanted. Hell if he could think at all, despite his limitless mental capacity.

 

She slid off his lap, onto her knees. She took him in her mouth, and looked up at him from under her long eyelashes as she licked and sucked.

 

Edward had seen this universe, and many others. He’d seen planets, supernovas, black holes.

 

When Bella rested her head on his shoulder and asked him how he’d liked it, she had no idea how profound his answer was.

 

“I saw stars,” he said, his voice incredulous.

  
He sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against hers and allowing himself this moment of pure bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dang, man. I don’t remember the last time I used a Mac! I...still don’t like it. LOL. Anyway. Onward!

Checking to be sure Rosalie was alone, Edward materialized on the opposite end of the couch. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, staring forward without seeing.

“Well?” Rosalie prompted when he didn’t speak.

Edward straightened up. He still didn’t look at her. “The minds of people like James are frustrating,” he said. “He values concepts such as respect, loyalty, and an unthinking kind of honor above humanity. Likewise, his concept of love is a warped, mangled thing. Do you know, his higher ups in the organization he prizes so much are considering lethal action against him?” He scoffed and shook his head. “They knocked him around somewhat, asking him what Bella knew, what he told her. They’re not sure if they believe she knows nothing.”

He clenched his fists at his side. “They’re considering killing them both, and James understands this. This doesn’t anger him in the slightest. Yet, he can’t comprehend Bella--who has been by his side since childhood, who has loved him as a true brother--not wanting to play an unwitting accomplice to what will be his destruction. He’s wounded, and a man like him would burn an entire garden to the ground to spite the rose who pricked him.”

Finally, he looked over at Rosalie and was shocked to find she was wiping at her eyes. He further observed that her eyes were red-rimmed. This wasn’t a reaction to his words; she’d been crying for a while now. “What’s wrong, sister?”

She sniffled and huffed out a derisive laugh. “You have such a one-track mind, which is impressive for an angel. The ability to process hundreds if not thousands of things all at once, and you didn’t hear me sniffling?”

“I--”

“No.” She waved a hand. “I’m teasing you. Mostly.” She sighed, the sound bitter. “It’s not as though I don’t understand. To answer your question, I told Emmett I wanted to get serious. I’m sick of this charade that we’re not crazy for one another.”

Edward pressed his lips together in a line, studying the misery written on her features. “It didn’t go well.” It wasn’t a question.

“Oh, of course not. He freaked out. He said he needed space to think. Even though he’s been here nearly every day for months. Even though I know he sees no one else. He can spend hours merely staring at me. What is there to think about? Humans are very foolish.” She gave a derisive laugh. “And I’m no different from any of them now. Look at me. So many eons old and weeping as though this is the worst thing I’ve witnessed.”

Edward moved to sit closer to her and put his arm around her. She glanced at him and smiled. “What a very human gesture, Edward.” She snuggled into his embrace despite her teasing and rested her head on his shoulder. “This girl is changing you.”

Now, it was Edward’s turn to snort--another human gesture. “I’ve spent as much time around you and Emmett as Bella.”

Rosalie ruffled his hair. “I know how this works. Is Bella safe? Safe enough at the moment, I’d wager, or you wouldn’t be here with me.”

“She’s safe at the moment, but this is frustrating. I was not supposed to put her in danger, Rosalie. If I hadn’t gotten involved, would her name be on the lips of these people who mean to do her harm? Am I the one who dragged her further into the mire?”

“This was why you came down,” she said, giving him a squeeze. “It was those so-called friends who dragged her this deep. People like those they’re involved with don’t let go so easily.”

“That was what I wanted to avoid. That was what I hoped to save her from.”

“Edward, this wasn’t your doing. She was this deep when she met you.” Rosalie raised her head to look in his eyes. “She knows now, and you’ll make her safe again. As safe as Bella ever is, anyway.”

His heart gave a painful wrench. Of course he wanted Bella to be safe, but then…

He shook his head. “Do you want me to read Emmett?” he asked to distract himself from the useless thought.

Rosalie was quiet. She laid her head on his shoulder. “That’s a tempting offer, but no.That’s another thing I’ve learned about being human. We are irrational creatures, and our unedited thoughts are best left in our heads.”

“Do you miss it? The power. The mindreading.”

“Flying.” Rosalie sighed, the sound wistful. “Yes.”

“Was it worth it? Falling, I mean.”

“Yes.”

“Even if Emmett decides he prefers his freedom?”

At that, Rosalie was silent.

~0~

Victoria caught Bella by surprise. The attack itself wasn’t a surprise. Bella had been on the lookout, expecting that James’s fiery girlfriend wouldn’t react well to someone insulting her boyfriend that way. But Victoria had ambushed her as she walked away from work, grabbing her and dragging her into the same alley Felix’s thugs had roughed up Edward not so long before.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Victoria demanded. She wasn’t a catfight kind of person. Her slaps hit Bella fast and hard. No nails. No hair pulling. Victoria was much more prone to punching and kicking.

Bella put her hands up to protect her face. She knew how to fight, but she didn’t want to fight Victoria. “What’s wrong with me?” She dodged backward, narrowly avoiding a solid blow aimed at her stomach.

  
“You’re treating James, your brother, like a fucking criminal.” She threw another punch, which Bella again dodged.

“He is a criminal.” She caught Victoria’s wrist and twisted it. She locked her other arm across Victoria’s chest and pushed her forward into the wall. “What the hell did you want me to do, Vic? I can’t look the other way. This isn’t my store.”

“Get the fuck off me.” Victoria pushed backward, throwing Bella off. Bella backed up, her arms up and out. Victoria turned on her heel and stood, her face flushed with rage, fists clenched at her sides. “You got no respect at all, do you? No fucking clue.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Bella demanded again. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she refused to cry. She was angry too. Angry and betrayed, just like Victoria, though she knew the other woman would never understand why. It wasn’t in her nature, and that only added to Bella’s frustration.

“You stick by your friends. No matter what,” Victoria said. “You don’t do this kind of shit to them. It’s fucked up. You have any idea what they did to him? Huh?”

Bella’s stomach churned. Of course, on top of worrying about one of them coming after her or, worse, the owners of the shop, her fear for James was off the charts. The low-grade worry she always carried with her--she’d always known he was involved with dangerous people. “What did they do? Did they hurt him? Oh god, Vic.”

The other woman rushed forward, and she shoved Bella hard. “Oh, no. You don’t get to play like you care now.”

“I care. I care so much. I always care. This isn’t about that.” She gripped her hair, tugging at it in frustration and fear. “Just tell me. Did they hurt him?”

“They fucked him up a little, and you better hope they don’t do more than that. They really hurt him because of your disloyal ass, I’m going to make sure you pay.” Her lips turned up in a vindictive smile. “Hell, you better hope I get to you before they do, or maybe it’s vice versa.”

Ice went down Bella’s spine. “What are you talking about?”

“You think you piss off people like them and you just get to walk away?”

“I didn’t--” Bella clenched her fists, digging her fingernails into the flesh of her palms. She could yell and scream about fairness and rationality all she wanted; it was going to fall on deaf ears. She shuddered and pushed away the mental images she had of every mob-style torture she’d ever seen played out on television.

She looked instead to Victoria. She was quickly losing the battle over her tears. “Vic, come on. This is killing me. You have to know this is killing me.”

For a moment, the fire in Victoria’s eyes petered out, leaving behind only the agony of betrayal. She was hurt and scared as much as Bella was. They were friends. Sisters, and Bella knew the other woman wanted nothing more than to hug her. If only they could hug it out, go back to when they were little girls who knew too much but whose love for each other was still pure.

Victoria took a shuddering breath, her expression hardening into something more steel than fire. “You deserve what you get,” she said and, with that, stalked away.

Bella’s legs wobbled so badly she couldn’t hold herself upright anymore. She sunk to her knees and buried her head in her hands. For minutes, she was too overwhelmed to move. Fear, anger, and sadness vacillated inside her, each of those emotions alone too large to hold. Her heart threatened to crack under the pressure. Paranoia made her skin crawl. She remembered only too well the bite of Felix’s solid grip on her wrists. The things he could do to her with that massive body…

She whimpered and forced herself to get to her feet. There was only one person in the whole world who could offer exactly what she needed right then. She needed to be reminded she wasn’t a horrible person for doing what she’d done. She needed someone in the world who would acknowledge she had a right to feel as though she was the one who’d been stabbed in the back.

She needed safety and love and Edward’s arms around her.

~0~

Edward felt Bella’s distress before she got to his door. It was all he could do not to give in to the impulse to fly to her, scoop her up, and carry her away from whatever was making her feel like that. He did race off, panicked at the idea he’d somehow missed James or Felix coming for their retribution. They were where he’d seen them last, so he was confused as he opened the door to Bella’s frantic knocks.

She threw herself into his arms almost before he had time to process the look on her face. But though most of him was concentrated on the fact Bella was weeping in his arms, he had also caught too much. She was upset, yes, but she’d also been hit. Recently. There was a small cut on her lip and her cheek was red--bruised.

He had to pretend not to know those things as she currently had her face pressed against his chest. Instead, he stroked her hair, careful in case she had other wounds, and murmured soft things. He pulled her with him into the house, into the living room, and gathered her as close as he could on the couch. She curled even closer, pulling her legs up on the couch and crawling into his lap. She wasn’t crying anymore, but she was still shaking quite badly.

He had missed something vital, and the thought threatened to drive him mad.

When she was calmer, he carefully cupped her face in his hands and pulled back to look at her. He let his eyes go wide--really, it wasn’t a hard act to fake as he was truly horrified--at the sight of her wounds. They weren’t bad by a long shot, but he was surprised at the fury that rushed through him. He ached to soothe her. One touch, and he could make her skin unblemished, close the small cut on her lip.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” Bella said, her tone quiet and tired.

Edward looked into her eyes and stroked her uninjured cheek. “Who?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Not until you promise you’re not going to do anything. I can’t take this eye for an eye bullshit. Not from you.”

“I promise,” he said. He couldn’t say he was happy about the promise, but he would have done anything to alleviate even a little of what she was suffering. After all, if he didn’t retaliate for this, he was sure he could find another, entirely separate reason, to strike.

Bella told him what had happened, and Edward was dismayed when he realized his mistake. He hadn’t thought to monitor Victoria. The woman was in just as deep as her boyfriend, but not in the same violent way.

“Do you think what I did was fucked up?” Bella asked.

Edward balked. “Why--”

“No, really think about it.” Her eyes were pleading as she looked at him. “What would it take for you to turn your back on Rosalie?”

“That isn’t a fair question given that you haven’t turned your back on any of your friends. I know you. You would still be there for them, you would do anything you could, except for this.” His fingers under her chin, he tilted her head up so he could look in her eyes. “Bella, you can’t be expected to sacrifice your own safety on anyone’s behalf.  Everyone has a line, and they’ve crossed yours. By at least ten miles, if you ask me.”

“I know,” she said in a heartbroken whisper. “This just feels awful.”

She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, taking his hand in both of hers. “You’d think I’d be used to it, or maybe it’s just been so many years I thought I’d never have to deal with this shit again.”

“What’s that?”

“Losing people. Maybe it wasn’t just the system. Nothing lasts forever.”

Edward tilted his head to nuzzle her hair. He wanted to tell her there was such a thing as a forever. He had been with her all her life and would always be with her. He sensed, though, it would be a comfort to neither of them. “Things can last, Bella. You still have Jasper.”

He hesitated, knowing his next words were a betrayal. He said them anyway. “You still have me.”

~0~

It was only two days later that Edward regretted bringing Jasper’s name into that particular conversation. He watched in dismay as his brother Peter drove home, fired up after a come-to-Jesus talk he’d had with Felix. It hadn’t been a pleasant conversation, and it had left him scared for his little brother.

The man’s thoughts were acerbic. Damn Bella. All the fool girl had to do was turn the other way. How the hell hard could that be? The Scarpinato brothers took care of their own. It was a good thing they all had going, and it had allowed Peter to take care of Jasper. Couldn’t the dumb bitch see she was ruining everyone’s lives with this bullshit?

But no. Bella had always cared more about her damn righteousness than she had about her family. Peter hadn’t ever understood why Jasper loved her so much. The bitch thought her shit didn’t stink as bad as the rest of them, but it hadn’t bothered him too much until she dragged his little brother into a fight he had no business being in.

He got to the apartment just as Jasper was coming down the stairs. Edward watched their confrontation, tensed as though for battle, invisible on the hood of the car.

“Where are you going?” Peter asked.

Jasper’s expression immediately became guarded. “Alice’s.”

His brother narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying to me. I changed your shitty diapers. I know when you lie to me, asshole.”

“Whatever, Peter. I don’t want to deal with your stupid comments. I’m going to see Bella.”

He started to move off, but Peter grabbed him by the arm and spun him back. “Like hell you’re going to see her.”

“Don’t start your shit right now. You and the others have a hair up your ass, that has nothing to do with me.” Jasper wrenched his arm out of Peter’s grasp and again headed for his car.

“That’s how you’re going to play it?” Peter said, keeping pace with him. “You choose. You choose right now where your loyalties are.”

That brought Jasper up short. He turned to his brother. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“She’s gone too far, and she’s messed with the wrong people.”

“She didn’t do anything, Peter.”

“You think she won’t? You think she doesn’t want all of us in jail. Is that what you want, Jasper? You want to see me in jail?”

Jasper stared. “What the hell are you going on about? Jesus Christ. She didn’t go to the cops. She did James that solid, and what the hell does that have to do with you anyway?”

“I’m not going to get into this with you. Thing is, she makes the wrong move, you’re either with her or you’re with me. That’s the way it is.”

“Peter--”

“Choose! Her or me. Right the fuck now.”

Jasper looked around, but there was no one else outside. He shook his head. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I’m not part of all that. You made sure I’m not part of all that.”

“Yeah.” Peter’s voice was bitter. “Lot of good it did me. You remember that. It was her bullshit that made this happen.”

“Made what happen?”

“You prove your loyalty to me, and it ends here. You’re done with her, and I can protect you. Otherwise, they know you’re best buds. They don’t trust her, that means they don’t trust you. That’s the way it is.”

“This is crazy. I…”

“Her or me, Jaz. this shouldn’t be a hard decision. Jesus Christ.”

“I can’t--”

“Her or me!”

“You. You, you fucking asshole. You know it’s always going to be you. Christ.”

Edward could have summoned hurricanes with the strength of his anger. Still, he could see what the admission cost Jasper. It had been dragged out of him by force. His anxiety was so palpable, it was a wonder Peter didn’t pick up on it. Or perhaps he had, and he simply didn’t care.

Either way, Peter was noticeably relieved. He huffed. “Good. Then you won’t have a problem proving it.”

The dread that filled Edward then was near-crippling, even for an angel. It was his own amplified by the Jasper’s.

“What do you mean?” Jasper asked, his voice thin.

“Jump her. Kick her ass.”

All the color drained from Jasper’s face. “Are you insane? I can’t do that. I’m not going to do that.”

“You said you were on my side, not hers. You said it not five seconds ago.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to hurt her. I won’t do that, Peter. Are you fucking high? She’s--”

“She’s the little bitch who might have all the information she needs to put us all away. You’re with her, or you’re with us. It’s not like I’m telling you to kill her. You kick her ass, and they’ll know where your loyalties lie. That’s the way it’s gotta be. Don’t you see that?”

“No!” Jasper bellowed. “I won’t fucking do it. For fuck’s sake. What the hell is this? Some juvenile gang? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Peter scowled. He stared down his brother, but this time, Jasper stared right back. Finally, Peter grunted. “Then you got another choice. You do that, or you do something for them.”

Jasper balked. “You mean…”

“You’re in. You do something for them, and they’ll protect you.”

Edward wouldn’t have thought it was possible for an angel to feel as though he might throw up. He was proven wrong. His stomach roiled--the feeling again compounded by Jasper’s out of control emotions. The blond man’s mind was blank as he looked at his older brother.

 **  
**“One or the other,” Peter said. “Or you go with her, and I don’t have a brother anymore. Choose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to MoH, Barburella, and songster for their input here. 
> 
> How are we doing out there, folks?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m BLIND. Well, I broke my glasses. Which is almost the same thing. Anyway. Onward.

Edward was powerful. He was more powerful than any human mind could comprehend. He could summon hurricanes under the right circumstances. So the fact he couldn’t make Bella look up was driving him out of his mind.

Again, given that he was an angel, that was quite a feat. He almost wished he could tell Bella. It was quite an accomplishment, and it might take her mind off whatever was putting that look on her face.

He reached over and cupped her cheek. It took her eyes a moment to focus, but when she did, she smiled. She put her hand over his against her cheek. “It’s more frustrating than usual not to be able to read your mind,” Edward said.

Bella furrowed her brows, tilting her head as she looked at him. “That’s really random. Do you think about that a lot? Reading my mind?”

Edward had to hide his grimace. He’d been so caught up in trying to figure out what was wrong with her, he’d forgotten to censor himself. “Doesn’t everyone?” He crinkled his eyebrows. He’d noticed she liked when he did that.

“I don’t know about that.” She kicked her legs up, throwing them over his lap and wrapping an arm around his neck. She started to trace the shape of his nose with a single finger, and he thought she looked a little sad. “It’s kind of dark and crazy in here.” She tilted her head against his.

He chuckled and stroked his fingers through her hair. “I have to live in my own head. Yours would be a breath of fresh air. A ray of sunshine.” He brushed his thumb over her lips. “Any number of cliches you can conjure.”

She snorted. “Edward Cullen, you’re as pure as the driven snow. Don’t even try to tell me there’s a single dark thought in that head of yours.”

If only she knew. At that moment, it was almost painful not to confess. It would be so much easier not to have to filter his thoughts. And then perhaps they might be able to figure out a solution together whereby he might be able to see her even after this body expired.

It was unlikely. Humans weren’t good at accepting things they didn’t understand. Then, there was a matter of his deception. Though the majority of their interaction was genuine, the premise never had been. To him, it was a minor thing, but he understood that to be human was to be petty. Humans were constantly bogged down in semantics. 

He cupped her cheek again and tilted her head toward him for a kiss. It was a soft kiss, meant to savor. He tried not to think of how, in his limitless world, these kisses were finite. “Tell me what’s wrong all the same.”

She hesitated, and then blew out a breath, ducking her head to rest on his shoulder. “I think Jasper’s avoiding me.”

Edward relieved some of the tension from her shoulders, pressing his thumb to pressure points to make her believe it was natural--more of his acupressure. He knew for a fact Jasper was avoiding her, and while he ached for her loss, he was glad he didn’t have to hurt the boy.

“He hasn’t answered my texts. He hasn’t come by like he usually does.” She trembled against him. “Something bad is happening, and I can’t…”

Her words choked, and Edward was quick to gather her in his arms, lifting her more fully onto his lap. She didn’t cry, but he could tell she was close. “I’ve lost everyone else,” she whispered against his neck. “If I didn’t have you, I’d be going out of my mind right now.”

Edward closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her. He rocked her and kissed her temple.

For the first time, he wondered if he, not these human assholes, would be the source of her ultimate destruction.

~0~

_**Jasper: I’m dealing with some things. I need some space. It’ll be okay. I love you.** _

Bella stared at the text. She had about a thousand more questions, but all of them had gone unanswered. One text in almost five days. Bella had the worst feeling churning in the pit of her stomach.

There was a growing desperation in her. A seed that had been planted. Like one of those sick Hentai monsters, she felt as though this ugly thing would burst out of her, writhing and slimy and awful. As she was growing up, when she lost foster brothers and sisters, foster parents, homes, she would fall back on one thought: at least she had James, Victoria, Laurent, and Jasper.

One by one, they fell away. She lost Laurent. She tried to straddle the line with James and Victoria. She’d tried to look the other way so she could keep them in her life. Now she’d lost them too.

She couldn’t lose Jasper as well. She just couldn’t. The thought was impossible.

“Hey, Ben,” she called to her coworker.

Ben looked up.

“Do you need me right now? I’m not feeling so hot.”

Ben’s face turned sympathetic. “I thought there might be something wrong. Go on home, Bella. You’ve earned some time off. I’ll cover for you tomorrow”

Bella would have said that wasn’t necessary, but right then, she was more relieved than not. It might take a while for her to figure this out, but she was going to do it. “Thank you,” she said, and she was out of there in under five minutes. 

By then, she had enough of an idea where to start. She’d considered camping out in front of his door. He couldn’t ignore her then. But, she could bet it would just result in a response no different from the text message she’d already received. 

Mainly, what Bella had to know was if her worst fears had any basis in reality. She couldn’t shake the feeling Jasper--purist of all her foster siblings--had fallen down the same rabbit hole the others had. 

Given that James and Victoria were ready to kick her ass first and ask questions later, the only person Bella could think to go to was Laurent. She knew where he lived. James had left her in the car once while he went to ‘talk’ to Laurent about ‘something’. 

Bella took a deep breath, hoping he was home. She had to steady herself against the old heartbreak. Though they hadn’t been close in years, she still regretted his loss. Steeling herself, she knocked on the door.

Laurent was home. His eyes narrowed when he saw her. “Oh, no. Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

“I don’t…” Bella closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. “I just need to ask you a question. Maybe two. That’s it.”

He eyed her suspiciously but gave her a curt nod. “Whatever will get you out of my face sooner. What do you want?”

“I just need to know, yes or no, if Jasper is with you guys. Not like, physically here. I mean with your… group. Whatever. Your people. Doing whatever it is you do.”

Laurent scoffed. “You--”

“Yes or no, Laurent. I’m not asking what you do. I’m not judging. I just need to know if Jasper is in it now.”

Laurent hesitated another moment, and that should have been enough. That should have been all the confirmation Bella needed. Still, she held out hope.

It was dashed a moment later. “Peter has his back, Bella. Don’t worry about him.”

All her breath left her, and she had to steady herself against the side of the wall. “Okay,” she said, trying to gather her thoughts. Even though she’d hoped, she’d expected and prepared for this. She summoned her resolve, pushing past the rush of fear that went through her. “How do I talk to them?”

“What?” Laurent blinked at her. “Who them? Peter and Jasper?”

“No. Them. Whomever you work for. Felix. Whomever.”

“Felix? Are you out of your mind?” Laurent scoffed. “That man doesn’t like you, Bella, and that’s putting it mildly. Besides, what does that have to do with Jasper? You gonna tell the big nasty men to leave your baby alone?” He snickered. “Jasper’s a grown man. We’re all grown up. It’s time you figured that out.”

Bella clenched her fists at her side, defensive. She was trying not to cry--she cried when she was frustrated, but the heartbreak wasn’t helping.. “I’m not an idiot, okay? I can figure out timelines. Jasper had no more interest in joining up than I do. All this bullshit at the shop happens, and suddenly he’s wrapped up in it? Don’t tell me it has nothing to do with me.”

Laurent’s lip twitched, but he didn’t speak.

“That’s what I thought. So I can only imagine it’s some prove where your loyalties lie bullshit. They made him choose. I get that.” She had to swallow hard around a lump in her throat. “But they’ve already hurt James. If I can’t get Jasper out, then they need to hear from me, I’m not a threat. I won’t let them hurt any of you again. Not because of me.”

“You are out of your mind. You know what they want to do to you.”

Bella shuddered, and she had to work to keep her calm mask up. “Victoria gave me some idea, yeah. And that’s another thing. It’s not like they don’t know where I work, where I live. I’m sick of looking over my shoulder all the time. If they’re going to do something stupid, I want them to get it over with. Let them make their fucking point so we can all go on with our lives.”

He studied her for several long seconds.

“Come on. What, you, James, Victoria, and Jasper are all adults capable of making your own decisions, but you’re going to stop me?” Bella asked.

Laurent laughed. “Well, guess I can’t argue with that.” He shrugged. “Yeah, I know where they’re going to be today.”

~0~

Because Bella couldn’t, Edward thought the least he could do was watch over Jasper for her, for as little good as it would do either of them. He knew he couldn’t interfere. Unlike Bella, whose life was completely unwritten, Jasper’s life had fixed points. Edward had no idea what those points were, and so there was little he could do.

Still, he watched simply because he knew it would be what Bella wanted.

“Christ,” Jasper said, and Edward knew he was trying not to show how scared he was. His eyes were riveted on the gun Peter had tossed on the bed.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. This is nothing, get it?” Peter said.

“If it’s nothing, why do I need a gun?”

“Everyone should carry a gun, just in case.” Peter shrugged. “But nothing’s going to happen. We’re just there to look tough and impressive. Put on a little show so those other bastards don’t get any stupid ideas in their heads.” He eyed his little brother. “Come on, Jay. You can look intimidating when you want to. You know how to fight.”

“I’ve never wanted people to be scared of me.”

“A little fear is healthy, man.” Peter smacked Jasper on the shoulder with a little more force than was necessary. “You’re not going to back out now. You know what will happen.”

Jasper picked up the gun and got another none too gentle pat to his back. “Good boy,” Peter said. “We gotta work on your shooting, but that doesn’t matter. Like I said. Nothing’s going to happen on this run.”

Edward understood what was happening. So far, Peter had dragged Jasper around with him on a number of ‘errands’. Jasper hadn’t been required to do anything, but with each job, he got in deeper. Loyalty through culpability seemed to be the theme. If something went wrong, if they were caught, Jasper would be in as much trouble as any of them.

Today’s venture seemed to be some kind of trade. Drugs, weapons, something else… Edward hadn’t bothered to figure out what was being exchanged. Jasper and Peter were merely muscle, there, as Peter had said, as a show of force. They were just supposed to stand in the background with their arms crossed and eyes watchful.

In Peter’s thoughts, Edward could see he truly believed what they were doing wasn’t dangerous. He thought he was still protecting his brother, involving him but keeping him out of ‘trouble’. It was a false sense of security to say the least. Just because Peter had escaped many meetings like this unscathed didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous.

As they drove, Peter kept up a long line of instructions. He got Jasper familiar with the other group they would be working with and let him know what to expect. “Lot of those assholes like pissing contests. They might get in your face a little, but you just be stoic. Stand up straight. Look them in the eyes, and they’ll back off. They just wanna see if you’re a man.”

Peter was actually enjoying this, Edward saw. Though he resented Bella for getting his brother involved--delusional asshole--he was enjoying being able to take Jasper under his wing. He was imagining them as a team again. 

It was quite the juxtaposition, Edward mused. It was such an innocent thing, a beautiful thing, for Peter to want this kind of camaraderie with his brother. Of course, he wanted to enfold his blood family into his perceived family. In his heart of hearts, Peter wanted nothing more than to make the world better for Jasper. What was terrible was the way his reality was warped. While he knew his lifestyle wasn’t ideal, he didn’t consider it bad. 

“This is all going down at the docks?” Jasper laughed, the sound thin. “When did my life become a prime time drama? Fucking hell. I’ve seen this shit on T.V.”

“Would you calm down?” Peter hissed between clenched teeth. Edward could read his bout of paranoia. He knew Felix and others at his level were watching Jasper. “Be cool, man. Be cool.”

Jasper did his best to fall in line.

As Peter claimed, the deal was going fine. Felix and his chronies were doing all the talking. Edward flitted briefly from mind to mind, more as a matter of habit than anything else. He was merely there to observe.

What the hell? Fucking tourist.

Edward’s entire world froze for a fraction of a heartbeat when he saw Bella’s face flash in the mind of one of the men who stood on the outskirts of the docks, a short distance from where the business transaction was going down.

Acting fast, Edward was forced to materialize a distance away from the docks. He ran through the busy sidewalk on the main street. When there were fewer people, he ran faster, bordering on too fast. He caught the surprised thoughts of a few random passers by.

I should catch him and make a million bucks at the Olympics.

Edward kept on running, reaching out until he found the mind of the lackey again. The guy was replaying the recent memory of Bella. He’d thought she was some random tourist who had no business being out amongst the packing crates, but she’d dropped the right names. Too many names she shouldn’t have known if she was nobody.

His thoughts were colored with annoyance. He’d tried to get Bella to stay still while he went to find someone, confirm that she was important, or at least get a second opinion from one of his fellow lackeys. She’d been pushy and had gotten past him. When he went to grab her, she’d threatened him with mace. 

“I know where I’m going. Thanks,” she said in his memories, her tone icy.

The man was still grumbling to himself, reasoning that there was no way anyone would know she’d gotten past him specifically, when Edward went running by.

“Hey!” he shouted, but Edward ignored him, ducking around a crate as he scanned the minds around him.

A lot of people knew she was there by that point. They were converging, but not on time. She saw what was going on. She saw.

Felix recognized her. This bitch. 

“What the fuck is this?” one of the others said.

“I’ll handle it,” Felix said. His thoughts were malevolent, violent.

Edward was going to rip the limbs from his body.

But there was too much else going on. Jasper had spotted Bella and bolted out of place. “Bella, what the hell?”

It wasn’t a good situation at all. Felix and his friends were highly suspicious of Bella. They were on guard, suddenly sure there was about to be an ambush. “Scatter,” one of them commanded, and that set the others off. Everyone was reaching for guns, scanning the area, pushing the goods out of sight or closer to the water.

What the hell was she doing here, Edward wondered as pushed faster. Why the fuck would she walk in on this?

It was clear from the look on her face she was shocked at what she’d walked in on. She’d pulled up short, and he could see, in the minds of others, the surprise on her face at just how many people were there.

He could hear in Felix’s thoughts that he had every intention of grabbing Bella. He was sure she knew something. Something she shouldn’t know. He was sure she was out to bring them all down, and he was going to figure out how. If he had to tear the skin from her body strip by strip, he’d figure out how. But he could also see what was about to happen. Things were going to get ugly fast.

Felix reached for his gun and aimed. If he couldn’t find out what he wanted, he would be the one to end this. He did hate this woman. He hated her, and he wanted to destroy her.

Just as it had when Bella was a baby, one single thought consumed Edward’s being. 

Not her.

With all his limitless capacity for logic and reason, Edward acted only on instinct. Still too far to get to her in any way that could still be considered human, he leapt.

“Bella!’ Jasper cried again.

Bella turned, but she didn’t see Jasper. No. Edward had a very clear image of her in Jasper’s mind’s eye. He saw her freeze, her head tilted upward, watching in horror and astonishment as Edward jumped high, well above the tallest crate. 

Felix had already fired. Spooked--by the yelling, the stranger, the reaction of Felix and his men--some of the others started firing too. Bella was a target. So was Jasper. 

As his leap arched, Edward spread his wings wide. They burst into being with a mighty whoosh--huge, jet black wings rimmed with gold. They stretched over ten feet on each side of him-fantastic and mind-boggling to the human eye. He could feel the jolt of shock that ran through the crowd as they saw him. He landed in front of Bella in a crouch. She gasped.

Then she gasped again and screamed. “Jasper!”

Less than four seconds had passed since the bullets had started to fly and Edward had jumped into the air. 

In the next heartbeat, Edward had wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against his body, and then enfolded his wings around them both. He felt the bullets hit his wings, but they were nothing--mere scratches. They couldn’t hurt him. Not really. 

No. Him they couldn’t hurt.

Sweeping Bella up into his arms, Edward took flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to songster, barburella, and MyOnlyHeroin for their help on that one. 
> 
> Sooooooooooooooooo.
> 
> Hi.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helllllo! Thank you for your patience with me. Kris’s brain is really rather wonky these last few weeks. Onward!

Bella’s brain was broken. It wasn’t working. And the world was spinning.

No, it was kind of...whooshing. Colors swirled all around her. What was happening? What was happening. What in the ever loving hell was happening?

“Bella!”

The world stopped spinning, and suddenly, Bella was plummeting. She thought she heard Edward’s voice, but it was all just noise in her head. His arms came around her again, tighter, and she was vaguely aware that all the whooshing and plummeting had stopped. There was an odd pressure at the center of her chest, as though something wanted to propel her backward. It was powerful and growing stronger by the second. 

It seemed like Edward set her down as softly as he could on grass before the force got to be too much. He let out a cry, and he was the one who was thrown backward, away from her. He landed in a heap, halfway in a stream, his wings fanned skyward, away from his prone body. 

His wings.

Bella scrambled backward, crab like. She watched in astonishment and horror as Edward pushed up on his arms and then got to his feet, gigantic black wings--that was what they were, they couldn’t be anything else--spread wide and magnificent as he steadied himself. She screamed. She hadn’t known she was going to do it until the sound came out of her, as though ripped from her throat.

“What the...Holy...What the fuck? What the fuck?” She wanted to run, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t make her limbs cooperate.

The wings drew in closer to his body, and Bella yelped when they disappeared. 

“Bella,” Edward said, and he took a step toward her.

She scrambled back again, and it seemed to her that his body jolted, as though he was being wrenched away from her. “I don’t… You… I…” Bella knew she was talking, but she had no idea what the hell she was trying to say. Her mind was white. Not blank, but that startling bright white that was painful to look at.

He fell to his knees, straining as though fighting against something she couldn’t see, something that was holding him back. “Bella,” he said again, holding an imploring hand out toward her.

“Stay away from me,” she yelled. She had scrambled back up against a tree and sat up. Sitting was better than being on the ground. Almost as good as standing. It was one step closer to running away from whatever the hell this was. Her brain still hadn’t gotten it together. “Get...you...Fuck. Fuck!”

“Bella.” He looked at her, his face a mask of desperation and a fear that sent a chill down her spine. “Bella, please. You’re hurt. Please. You have to let me help you. You’re dying. Bella. Please.”

It seemed to take forever for the words to reach her. She was so far beyond bewildered. Following his stricken gaze, she looked down and gasped raggedly. Her shirt was stained red, thick and heavy with blood. Her confusion doubled. How…

Then, as her brain accepted what it was seeing, she became acutely aware of pain--sharp, horrible pain--radiating from her stomach outward. She cried out and crumpled to the side, agony wracking her body.

Edward was on his hands and knees, still straining. “You want me away from you. I understand that. That’s why I can’t move. I promise I’ll go, but you have to let me in first. You have to allow me to touch you, so I can heal you. Please, Bella. I know you’re scared of me, but I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you. Please let me help you.”

She stared at him. Edward, her innocent boyfriend. It seemed ironic somehow that it was his arms she wanted to run to, his comfort, and yet it was him she was running from. Her brain was beginning to melt, though. She was beginning to put together the fragmented images running like a montage in her mind. “Oh, God,” she groaned and lay back on the grass. She was weakening. She could feel that now. “Help me,” she whispered.

He was over her in the blink of an eye--too fast for a human to get across the meadow. And, of course, she had to remember, he wasn’t human. He couldn’t be human.

What the fuck?

Edward put one hand to her cheek, and instantly, she was soothed. The pain began to dull, and she could feel herself slipping toward a peaceful sleep. “No!” she yelled.

He was blown away from her the moment she thought the word. He rolled. “Bella--”

“You were making me sleep.” She clutched at her side and groaned. 

“The bullet… It will hurt. That’s all. I promise, I just don’t want you to hurt.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“Okay. I won’t do that. Please. I need to help you now, Bella.”

She groaned again. Her face felt clammy, and she was tired. Not tired like he’d made her; exhausted. Drained. “Okay,” she murmured, and her eyes slipped closed.

She felt his hands on her again, under her shirt, against her side where the wound was. His hand was warm--pleasant where he touched. The pain dulled again, but she stayed alert--as alert as she could be when she felt unconsciousness tugging at the edges of mind.

Then, a blinding pain went through her. She screamed, her middle arched up off the ground like an inverted V. She felt his hand against her, pushing her back down, keeping her pinned. “Lie still. I almost have it,” he said, his voice commanding and calm in a way she’d never heard before.

No. She had heard it. When he threatened James. When, for a handful of moments, he seemed to be larger than life. 

Bella whimpered, and she wasn’t sure whether it was at the pain traveling through her--close to the surface now--or the memories she was now questioning.

All at once, the pain was gone--vanished so completely, Bella gasped. “There,” Edward said, his tone soothing. “You’ve lost so much blood. Just one more moment.” She felt his hand against her cheek, the warmth of his palm radiated through her bloodstream. Replenishing, she thought. 

About a minute passed, and then his hand slipped from her cheek. HIs warm presence disappeared. Her eyes flew open, but he had only retreated a small distance away. He seemed pensive. He sat cross-legged, watching her with a look on his face that made her ache.

Slowly, Bella sat up. She was a bloody, sticky mess, but as she pulled up her shirt, she saw her skin was smooth. Unmarred. She prodded at the space where the wound had been. Not even an ache.

“Where are we?” she asked in a hoarse voice, not looking at him. 

“Near Yosemite. The weather was moderate here. There are no hikers nearby today, and the bears won’t bother us as long as I’m here.”

It took Bella another few moments to get over the shock of that statement. Sure. He could probably beat up a few bears. She glanced around, taking in the meadow and stream. It was beautiful here. 

Bella gasped and scrambled to her feet as more memories hit her. “Jasper!”

Everything had happened so quickly. She’d gone to the docks on a mission, looking for only Felix and his lackeys. Laurent had given her specific instructions, and she had tried not to think about why Felix would be hanging around shipping containers and dock offices. She’d walked in on a crowd. Dangerous looking people spread out. They had guns. They had...other things. 

Then everything had gone to hell. There was yelling. Shouting. Threats. Edward appeared out of nowhere, arching through the air. Those wings…

But as Edward had landed, Bella had caught one glimpse of Jasper. She’d seen him running toward her, and then had seen the way his body jerked in time with the gunshots that rang out. She saw the bloom of red, before Edward had obscured her vision.

Bella darted forward and grabbed Edward by his shirt, clutching at him. “What happened to Jasper? He was hit. He was hurt. What happened?”

His hands were gentle as they closed around her wrists. “I don’t know.” A beat. “I can find out, but I would have to leave you. It would only be a few moments, and you’ll be safe.”

“I need to know,” she said, her voice beginning to tremble.

He nodded, his expression solemn. “Just a few moments.”

Bella couldn’t help her cry of startlement as he disappeared right in front of her eyes. She glanced around the meadow frantically, but of course, he wasn’t there. 

Except that when she turned back around, he was. She yelped again and jumped back, putting a hand to her chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. His tone was, again, gentle and soothing. “I was able to locate Jasper as he arrived at the hospital. He’s in surgery. There’s extensive damage.”

He said each of the words slowly, watching her as though to make sure she was understanding his words. She began to shake her head. “Oh, God. Oh no.” Trembling, she sunk to her knees in the grass and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked up at Edward. “You can fix him. You can fix him like you fixed me.”

Edward was already shaking his head. “I am sorry,” he said, his cadence a touch more formal than she was used to hearing. “That is not something I can do.”

“You have to. You have to help him.”

“He is surrounded.”

Bella swallowed down bile and bowed her head, massaging her temples. “Can you get me to him?” She hated the way her voice shook.

“Peter is there in the hospital. As are a number of his friends.”

“I don’t care!”

“Bella. They just tried to kill you. They would have killed you. You should be dead.”

Bella whimpered and began to rock. How had this spun so far out of control so quickly? Had Laurent known what was going on when he sent her straight into the middle of it?

Jasper. Oh, God, what was going to happen to Jasper?

“What are you?” she asked, her voice barely audible. 

He took a deep breath. “An angel.”

Her head snapped up. “Like...God and heaven? Gabriel and Michael and all that?”

His lip twitched. “If I may assume what you mean by that question, the Bible, like all religious texts, is a book of myths made up to explain things not yet understood.” He tilted his head--an achingly familiar gesture. “I don’t know if there is a god. Angels are a species. We have a biology. I don’t suppose that holds with the ideology of faith.”

Bella tightened her arms around herself. She didn’t know what to think about any of this. Her brain kept skipping around. Edward. Angel. Jasper. Home. Trouble. Felix. Wings.

“Angels have black wings?” she asked, the words coming out strangled. 

“I suppose my wings would appear black in this realm.” He pressed his lips together a brief moment before he continued. “Your eyes aren’t capable of seeing them as they are.”

“How are they?”

He huffed. “I suppose I don’t have the words to describe them. They are...other.” He took a cautious step toward her. “Bella--”

She held out a shaking hand, palm up. “Don’t come closer. Not...not right now.”

He took a large step backward and sat down cross legged again. “I...Bella, I cannot begin to imagine what you’re thinking right now. However--”

Anger rose in her. She didn’t know the exact cause of it, but it was easier than her helplessness and confusion. “Why can’t you save Jasper? You can go invisible, right? You disappeared a minute ago.”

“I flew back to Seattle a minute ago, but yes, I can be invisible.”

“Then why can’t you help him? You’re capable, right?”

He looked flustered, which would have been gratifying to Bella if she wasn’t so frustrated that he was here in some meadow with a babbling brook and birdsong and all that crap while Jasper was in some hospital torn to pieces. “Yes, I’m capable, but--”

“No but. Save him. Right now.”

“Bella.” Again, his tone and expression turned pleading. “I cannot. I...even if I were to do it, do you understand what that would look like? For his wounds to heal under the surgeon’s hands? They would want to study him. They would want an explanation.”

“He would be alive!” Bella ducked her head almost into her lap. She gripped her hair and pulled, trying to put walls around the overwhelming helplessness and fear she felt. She couldn’t lose Jasper. She couldn’t. “Please, Edward. Please. You have to help him.”

“I cannot.” His tone was desperate.

“You can. You said you can.”

“You can’t ask that of me. Bella...there are rules. There are rules, and if I broke them again, if I broke them for him, I… They would…”

“They would what? Who they?”

He made a frustrated sound. “I don’t know. I don’t know what they would do, and that’s why I cannot risk it. Already, I have done too much, but if this is a set point for him, if this is his fate, and I altered his path, I would be punished.” He looked at her and shook his head. “You must believe I cannot stand to see you in pain. I would do anything for you, but that would risk me being taken away where I couldn’t reach you, where I couldn’t protect you. Please, don’t ask it of me.”

“I am asking it of you,” she yelled, furious. “This is his life we’re talking about.”

He eyed her, his expression pained. “It’s your life as well. You must see that. If the choice is between your life and his, I will choose yours. Every time, I will choose yours. It is who I am. It is what led me here. It’s why you’re here at all.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t understand what you’re saying.” She shook her head and buried her head in her hands. “Never mind. You said you would stay away from me. That’s what I want. Were you lying about that?”

He didn’t speak right away, but when he did, his tone was soft and mournful. “If you wish not to see me, then no. I wasn’t lying. I will bring you to safety, and then you need never see me again, if that’s what you want.”

Bella raised her head and narrowed her eyes. “I want to go home, and I don’t want you hanging around like an invisible creeper. I want you gone. Far, far away from me. Back to wherever you came from. Fly away home.”

He flinched and averted his eyes. “Your home isn’t safe. I’ve already told you I won’t risk your life.”

She laughed, the sound bitter. “Where the hell am I supposed to go?”

“To my home. Or rather, Rosalie’s.”

“Your sister,” she sneered, angry all over again as she realized how many lies he must have told. Her head was still spinning with too many questions she didn’t know how to articulate. 

“She is my sister in much the same sense as foster children are. That wasn’t so much a lie.”

Bella shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself again. “She’s an angel too?”

“She was. She’s not now.”

A jolt went down Bella’s spine. “What the hell is she, then?”

“Human.” His expression softened. “And perhaps the best person on the planet for you right now. You shouldn’t be alone, I think, and she’ll understand better than anyone.”

She wanted to tell him to go to hell. She even wondered how far she was from the road. She didn’t need him to zap her places. She could hitch.

Bella shuddered again, freshly aware of her vulnerability. That and she was too desperate to get to Jasper, regardless of who was there. Surely, they wouldn’t touch her in a hospital.

Then again, she wasn’t blood family. They probably wouldn’t let her see him. 

If he survived at all.

Bella had to bite the inside of her cheek hard to keep the tears at bay. “Fine. I’ll go to Rosalie’s.”

He nodded, looking relieved. Then he hesitated. “I won’t make promises to you I cannot keep. You don’t have to see me, but I’ll be close. I will make you safe again, and that does involve watching over you. However, I’ve never…” He furrowed his brow and tried again. “I’m not, as you say, a creeper. The watching is meant only as a means of protection, not...perversion.”

Bella’s stomach churned. There was a lot to read in between the lines of that statement, but her mind was threatening to shut down as it was. This was all too much, and she needed time to process. She needed to be away from him.

And Christ, how much she missed him. Missed her boyfriend. How much she wished she could run to him.

She shuddered again, sucking in a breath to calm herself. She climbed to her feet, surprised when her legs held her weight. “Whatever. Just get me out of here.”

Edward got to his feet too and walked toward her, his steps measured. When he was close enough, he moved as though to pick her up. Bella stepped back out of his grasp, looking at him. “Do you have to do that? Carry me, I mean?”

He seemed to consider the question. “It’s the position that offers you the most support and comfort. However, no. It would not be dangerous for me to take you another way.”

“Then do it another way.”

“But you--”

“Do it another way.” She glared at him.

He sighed and nodded. Keeping his eyes on hers, he reached to take both her hands in his again. “Here we go.”

The whoosh was back and colors spun around them. This time, Bella felt her body flailing. It wasn’t comfortable--the way her body whipped around wildly out of her control was downright terrifying and painful. She was hyperventilating a few heartbeats later when it all stopped. 

She felt a touch to her shoulder and the vice grip around her lungs loosened. She breathed easier. She growled. “Don’t do that,” she said, opening her eyes to glare at him.

Then, she started as she realized they were out in the open, on the stoop in front of his house. She spun in a frantic circle.

“No one was watching. No one is watching,” Edward said. He glanced at the door. “Emmett is with her. He doesn’t know. About angels, I mean. They’re only talking. You can knock on the door, and Rosalie will give you shelter. Ask for a moment alone, and she’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”

He reached out, and Bella flinched back, not wanting him to touch her. He only tapped her shirt, though, and when she looked down, the blood and gore was gone. “What the fuck,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure it would have been startling for Emmett to see you that way.” He paused, looking somewhere over her shoulder for a moment before his eyes returned to her. “Bella, I must ask you not to try to visit Jasper. Not until I know it’s safe. I will offer you this in return. I will watch over him, and when he is in a room, I’ll take you there. You’ll be cloaked, but if we are able to catch him unsupervised for a few moments, you’ll be able to touch him. To speak to him.”

Bella glared. “And it means I have to see you again.”

He ducked his head. “It’s the only way you’ll be safe while you see him...but I won’t say it doesn’t benefit me. I…” He looked up at her from underneath his lashes, and Bella’s breath caught. The emotion that burned in his eyes was intense. “Whatever you may think, Bella, what we’ve been to each other, what I feel for you, none of that has ever been a lie.”

Her heartbeat fluttered, and she swayed in place. Emotion rose in her, began to choke her, and made her eyes tear. She was feeling too much. Everything, wonderful and terrible, all at once. She turned away from him, towards the door. “Please leave,” she whispered.

He let out a shuddering breath. “If you call me, I’ll hear,” he said.

And then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Songster and MoH! 
> 
> I’m off to Disneyland tomorrow. WEEEE!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm going to try Word for Android, so if the formatting is off, I'll fix it when I get out of class.

A great and powerful rage had been growing steadily at the center of Edward’s being. Bella was a priority and so his fear for her, and then his need to comfort her as best he could, took precedence over his anger. But now, now that he knew she was safe--angry, heartbroken and confused but safe--Edward could concentrate on the anger. He had a mighty thirst for vengeance.

When he was sure Bella was safe with Rosalie, Edward took flight. He forced himself not to go after Felix first. It had been Felix's bullet that had ripped through Bella’s body. It had been his bullet that would have killed her had he not intervened. 

He would pay.

First, though, Edward sorted through his mental catalogue of the humans who had been at the docks. They were in pockets, mostly. That was helpful. He needed to be sure of the possible repercussions of his actions, especially as they pertained to Bella.

Most of the humans were in various states of denial. They had no context for what they'd seen, and so their minds had filled in the blanks with whatever explanation presented itself. Some thought that the drugs they'd done had been laced with some kind of hallucinogen. Others thought it was merely a matter of their minds playing tricks on them in the chaos that came when a hail of bullets was unleashed.

Edward found some humor in the fact a good many of the humans were grappling with the idea of heaven or hell. They'd seen wings. Threatening ones as black as night. Had he been a demon? If demons existed, was there a hell? If the girl had been dragged there, what would come of them? The idea of hell was a frightening concept, especially for those who had atrocities weighing on their souls. 

Humans fear of everlasting punishment was actually a boon to him. It was not his job nor his concern to mete out punishment for bad behavior. In the grand scheme of things, wrongdoing, even on a massive scale, was not something that mattered against a timeline of eternity, but the human mind balked at the concept of unending time. Their minds would rather explain away the sight of him with whatever story they could conjure. They would put their own minds at ease and then they would actively push the memory to the corner of their consciousness, never to be thought of again. 

No, Edward’s main concern was, as it had been for twenty two years now--Bella. If these humans weren’t a threat to Bella, he wasn’t a threat to them. Simple as that.

He was meticulous, though. He forced himself to be slower in his checking than necessary.

Bella needed the time, he thought, to process all she had seen, all he’d told her. As much as her rejection had hurt, he thought he understood. What she had suffered today was beyond what most humans could handle. One by one, she’d watched her family rebuff her, but this was something different. Laurent, once her brother, had led her into danger knowingly today; Edward knew she was smart enough to understand that. That, coupled with the fact she’d watched her only remaining loyal brother get gunned down, would have been more than enough to deal with.

She was alienated and alone, and the only other person she had, the only person she trusted, turned out not to be a person at all. Even without his betrayal, this would have been the worst day of her life, the day she lost everything she had left, but he’d robbed her of her trust in him. Yes, he’d done it to save her life, but wounds of the heart and mind were just as violent as bullets. 

So, though he wanted nothing as much as he wanted her back in his arms, Edward forced himself to concentrate on preventing any backlash against Bella and making sure this wouldn’t turn into a larger issue for all angel-kind.

None of the others were in a position to tell anyone what had happened--not without incriminating themselves. Those who tried to talk with their comrades were quickly shut down. Those, like Peter, who knew both Bella and Edward in some facet were concentrated on more pressing matters. Peter, angry young man that he was, was beside himself with worry and grief at present. He was in the hospital waiting room, pacing and trying not to cry without much success. 

Finally, Edward had no one left to check on besides Felix.

The man was lying low. Everyone had scattered in the wake of the shootout. Like Peter, he, too, was pacing, although his thoughts were filled with anything but grief. He vacillated, worrying about how the Scarpinato brothers would take this; if they would blame him; if there would be any backlash from the other organization. 

Whatever ugliness was about to go down, Felix put the blame squarely on one person’s shoulders: Bella. He knew what he’d seen. The image of Edward descending on them, wings spread wide and aweing, was clear in his mind. He had always believed Edward was out to get them and Bella was helping him. Now, he didn’t know what to think about Edward except that he was a threat. And Bella, as far as he was concerned, was still helping him.

A man like Felix didn’t do well with powerlessness and fear. An unfortunate upbringing and a warped, entitled mind was a lethal combination in the best of circumstances. The man had no humanity left. Edward had known few more vile minds, and he had witnessed several inquisitions. 

When he was assured Felix was alone in his safehouse, Edward sprang into action. It took very little of his power to put on a show. The sky above the house darkened and lightning arced down. In time with a boom of thunder that shook the house, every electric outlet exploded with sparks. In the house, Felix covered his head, diving toward the center of the room as lightbulb glass and television screens went flying.

When he raised his head, Edward was across the room from him. He was standing straight and tall, his wingspan spreading from wall to wall. He could see the terror written on the man's face, could feel the emotion undulating in the room around them. Felix raised his gun and Edward tilted his head, his grin wicked. Felix shot several times. Edward didn’t flinch. With each shot, he stepped forward, easily ignoring the pain each bullet caused his human body. Felix’s eyes grew wider.

The man’s bullets ran out just as Edward was in arm’s reach, and that was both fortunate and unfortunate. There was a loophole in the force that had kept Edward away from Bella when she was radiating fear and wanted him far away from her. Felix was threatening Edward’s life, however ineffectively, and so his will did not affect Edward’s ability to touch him. However, Edward couldn’t kill the man for the same reason he couldn’t save Jasper.

He could not alter a human’s fate. He couldn’t risk being yanked away from Bella. As it was, he lived in fear of the moment the angels would swoop down on him, pull him back to their realm because of all he had already done. That it hadn’t happened yet mystified him, but he wasn’t about to argue. 

So it was fortunate that Felix’s bullets ran out, and he was no longer threatening Edward’s life. Edward fought against the pull that threatened to hurtle him backward, away from Felix. The man need not know he couldn’t touch him now.

“What the hell are you?” Felix asked, his voice gruff. He was terrified, but he wasn’t about to show it.

“A reckoning,” Edward said, and with those words, he again summoned his powers. A powerful wind filled the room, picking up everything that wasn’t locked down and sending it into a swirl. Some of the objects struck Felix.

Edward couldn’t touch the man, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t get creative. Felix was swept off his feet by the powerful wind and pinned against the wall. Edward let light fill the room--blinding light, painful to the eyes. He heard the man cry out as items struck him repeatedly.

“Stop! Stop!”

“And why should I?” Edward let the items fall to the floor, but kept enough wind up so that Felix was still pinned in place. “What makes you deserving of mercy when you showed none to your victims?” With a wave of his hand, he let the wind slam Felix into the opposite wall before he finally let him drop. He walked over to him with a measured step, pausing when he met with resistance. He locked eyes with Felix and knew what the man saw. He knew his eyes were burning, lit with an inner light. Lit by grace instead of a soul. “Tell me what you would have done to Bella Swan if you had the chance, and tell me why I shouldn’t do the same to you.”

“Look, whatever you want, you can have it. You want the drugs, you want the guns. Whatever.”

“Foolish boy.” He unfurled his wings again, wanting to look as inhuman as possible. “Such self-importance. You are less than nothing, and what trivial matters you waste your life on are inconsequential to me.”

The man was bruised and bloodied. Edward thought perhaps his arm was broken. He wanted quite desperately to break something else, something much more vital, but he couldn’t rob the man of his reproductive abilities. 

Felix’s breath was ragged, his posture radiating defeat. “Please, man. What do you want?”

“Forget the name Bella Swan. As far as you’re concerned, she died at that dock. That’s what you’ll tell Aro, Caius, and Marcus.” He smirked at the look on Felix’s face. “The things I know about you and your life, boy, can destroy you. But you should ask yourself if that would ever be enough for me.” He let his grin turn colder and more wicked as he towered over Felix. “I have an intimate knowledge of the human body down to the last vein, the last nerve ending. I could strip every inch of skin from your body while you still lived, and then I could put you back together again to suffer whatever atrocity comes to mind.” He tilted his head down, glaring. “And believe me, boy, I have the whole of human existence to draw on. I can think of quite a lot.”

Every ounce of swagger and tough-guy rhetoric Felix held himself with had drained away. He was doing his damndest not to cry, and he was failing. “Okay. Fuck. Whatever. The bitch--”

Edward called down a clap of lightning--inside the house--letting it hit Felix where he would be burned, in pain, but wouldn’t carry lasting side effects except a small scar that went down the center of his back, along his spine. Felix screamed. He writhed in agony before he crumpled to the floor, breathing hard, crying quietly. Broken in spirit if not in body, though he was plenty broken that way too.

In many ways, it was a shame. Felix had come from a background of cruelty, had taken power back the only way he knew how. Now he was being reduced back to the victim he’d been as a child, the scared little boy, cowering and powerless. 

As an an angel, Edward had sat passively back, observing the facets of humanity as fact, truth. Now, he knew human emotion. It was strange to loathe this man in front of him, to feel vindictive pleasure at hurting him knowing all the people Felix had hurt; what he would have done to Bella, had he the chance. At the same time, knowing how he’d been shaped and molded into the thing he was--more monster than man--Edward felt an all too human pang of sorrow. 

“I will be watching, Felix Bettaluci. And I will know the moment you so much as think of betraying me.”

Edward left him then, disappearing, leaving Felix with broken bones and burns he would not be able to explain without sounding like a madman.

~0~

Bella kept waiting for her mind to shut down, and yet she kept asking for more. There was no part of her that could handle everything she’d been told today, everything she’d seen, but she had so many questions, she couldn’t seem to stop asking.

For her part, Rosalie was patient. She answered some questions and carefully picked her way around others, seeming to know how much information Bella could handle. It had occurred to Bella more than once that it was unfair. Rosalie too had known Bella’s world wasn’t what she thought it was and hadn’t told her.

But Rosalie wasn’t her boyfriend. Rosalie wasn’t a person Bella thought she’d known intimately. And Rosalie hadn’t been the sweet, innocent man she loved, who suddenly sprouted enormous black wings and flew her to quiet meadows three states away in the blink of an eye.

Edward had been right. She’d needed to talk to someone; someone who wouldn’t haul her off to an insane asylum, but she just wasn’t prepared to talk to him. Everything in her world had been destroyed today. Everything. Everyone she loved was gone--James, Laurent, and Victoria to their anger and hatred, Jasper to the uncertain space between life and death, and Edward, lost to this thing that had taken his place.

Bella clutched the yellowed newspaper Rosalie had put in her hands so the words and pictures rumpled. She found it difficult to breathe and wondered if she was about to hyperventilate. 

“I tracked this down after Edward started spending time with you,” Rosalie said, her voice gentle. “I figured it might help. Words are one thing. Proof is altogether different.” When Bella didn’t respond, Rosalie rubbed her back. “The world hasn’t changed, Bella. These things have always been. It’s simply that you know of it now.”

The paper Bella held was the gazette from the city where her parents had died. Their names and pictures were in the article on the front page--it was a small town--along with the others who’d died. One of the last pictures was a young man from Chicago. Twenty-seven years old. Unmarried. No children. A concert pianist whose parents had died when he was seventeen. Cut down in his prime twenty-two years before.

Edward Cullen.

Bella shuddered and turned the paper away from her. It was too weird. It was too strange to see Edward’s face there on that old newspaper, especially when it wasn’t his face. Not really. The same structure and look, yes, but there was something different. Even in black and white, there was something different about the eyes, the quirk of his mouth. The man on the page was a stranger in an Edward mask.

No, Bella reminded herself. The Edward she knew was an angel wearing this man’s face.

“He let them all die that day?” she asked again.

“No.” Rosalie continued to rub her back. “People die, Bella. Humans are built on a finite timeline, and some of us have fixed points. That’s the work of angels--to fix the points as they’re instructed. That is the reason for their existence, the purpose for it. It’s the same as any ecosystem. You remove an element, and the environment becomes unbalanced. This is simply a larger scale.”

“But he let this man die.”

Rosalie sighed. “Yes. Like humans, angels are capable of making mistakes.” She tilted her head the way Bella had seen Edward do so often. “Though I’m not sure if you could call it a mistake, really. That’s not the way it works. The world is different because you’re in it and this Edward Cullen was not, but mistake implies the world is worse off.”

“Isn’t it?” Bella said, staring forward. She took a shaky breath. “Would Jasper be dying if it wasn’t for me?”

“Perhaps. If his point was set, then he would have gotten here whether you existed or not, Bella.”

“And if it’s not a set point? It’s like a domino effect, right? Or the butterfly effect? I survived when I shouldn’t have. Edward Cullen died when he shouldn’t have. What if my existing unfixed Jasper’s points or whatever?”

Rosalie set her mouth in a line, thinking about that. “Fixed points or no, the world isn’t a certain place. Edward asked a very similar question once, or rather a question in a similar vein. He was punished for saving your life as though that was the wrong thing to do. If you were supposed to die, if that was your fixed point, then why not simply set it right?”

Seeing the look on Bella’s face, Rosalie touched her knee. “It’s not what he wanted, Bella. From the moment he laid eyes on you, he wanted nothing more than to protect you. This is not about truths and absolutes. Even with what you now know, that you exist and that Edward is so singularly focused on you is proof there are no absolute laws in nature. As he’s shaken your perception of the world, so you shook his. And he’s millenias old, so think of how that must have felt.” 

She offered Bella a small smile. “Bella, he’s never been able to explain to himself why you’re so important to him. There’s no reason you should be. Humans--we’re wired to need others, to need connections. Everything from our physiology to our mentality is built with the necessity of interaction with other humans. Angels are not built this way. Angels are wired for obedience and duty. As an angel, I could have been alone for an eon and been no worse for the wear either mentally or physically.

“And yet, Edward has a very deep connection to you. He didn’t need to step in here. When he saw you following down a path he could not protect you from, he could have left you to your own devices. Instead, he found a loophole that allowed him this chance--a chance to walk with you back to safety.” She took Bella by the shoulders and gave her a light shake. “Bella, what he’s felt for you and how he’s expressed it is as much a mystery to him as all this about angels is to you. You broke his programming. You sparked something in him that should not exist; not in angels.”

Bella’s breath stuttered as her heart threatened to pound out of her ribcage. She drew her legs up on the bed, folding herself up into as small a ball as possible. She began to rock and shake. “Can I maybe have a minute?” she whispered. It was rude as all hell to kick Rosalie out of her own bedroom, but she desperately needed the time to break down.

“Of course. Just call if you need me.”

Call me, and I’ll hear.

Bella closed her eyes and shuddered again. As soon as Rosalie had closed the door behind her, she lay down, her legs still tucked up tight to her chest. She tried to think about too much and nothing at all. Tried to arrange the facts in her head and tried to forget them. 

She’d never felt loneliness quite as acutely as as she did right then. It was a desolate stab right at the center of her being, a pain that left her breathless and scared. She tucked her chin to her chest and cried. She cried for everything lost to her, cried because her world was spinning, spinning, spinning, and she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t hold on, and she couldn’t let go. She was helpless. Powerless while her world kept self-destructing around her.

Laurent, once her brother, had tried to kill her. He had to have known what he was doing sending her to the docks.

James and Victoria, once her brother and sister, hated her. As far as they were concerned, she’d betrayed them. Her betrayal might have cost James his safety, and she wouldn’t have wanted that whether he loved her or not.

Jasper. She’d done everything she could to save him. Her last brother. The only bit of family she had left. Her desperation had driven her to extremes. Of course, she understood how dangerous Felix was. She understood she had no business seeking him out in the first place, but she’d have done anything, tried anything, to keep Jasper safe. To get him back.

And Edward…

Some part of her recognized he wasn’t lost to her. Her faith and trust in him was shaken; if he could lie about being human, how much of what they’d been to each other could be true? Still, if she could accept him for who he was, all of who he was, then she wouldn’t have to lose him too.

Of course, that could be denial, but what, at this point, did she have left?

Tempting. God, it was so tempting, because she did want his arms around her again. She wanted the warmth of his soft, sweet kiss to ward off the ice cold that had settled at the pit of her stomach, radiating outward. 

“Edward,” she whispered.

There was no sound, but she knew without doubt she was no longer alone in the room. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and gasped, finding herself breathless. She’d broken out in a cold sweat.

A minute passed, then two. Finally, she rolled over and looked instinctively to the furthest corner of the room. 

He was there, his eyes intent on her, filled with concern and caution. He didn’t move toward her, but stayed where he was against the wall, waiting. Bella’s voice was caught in her throat. She had too much to say to him, and it all wanted to come out at once.

“Jasper is still in surgery,” he said, his voice quiet and gentle. “He’s fighting, Bella. He’s survived the worst of it.”

As scared as she was for Jasper, Bella had room enough in her heart to feel a rush of appreciation for Edward. She understood a little better why he couldn’t save Jasper the way he had her. She knew what he’d risked saving her. Again. She regretted that she’d railed at him in her panicked state, but even now, the intensity of her need for Jasper to survive this threatened to make her beg. 

She understood, though, that Edward was giving her what he could. He assumed Jasper was at the forefront of her mind, and he’d spoken to that first, in spite of anything else he might want to say. Not everything about him was a lie, she reminded herself. He was a good man.

Well, he was a good angel, she supposed.

She took a deep breath and extended a hand toward him in wordless entreaty. She thought she saw his eyes light. He took a step forward, and when she didn’t ward him away, he kept coming toward her.

Bella sat up, and when he was to her, she took his hand. Touching him soothed something inside her, like one of the million pieces of her heart and her head had settled into a firm place again. She tugged, and he sat beside her. 

After a long minute of them staring at each other, he opened his mouth. She put a finger to his lips. “Not yet,” she said in a shaky whisper.

No. Fear and uncertainty were battling with the adoration and love she felt for this man. This being. Looking into his eyes, she could see everything he had been to her before was still there. It was just part of a larger picture.

If he could be quiet, if she could have just one more minute, she thought maybe she could begin to accept all of him. 

His eyes on her, Edward settled back and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm giving you an angel while I'm sitting here missing mine. Why must this class be on Wednesday.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ermagawd. It’s Friday!

Patience was built into every angel. Rather, because they were made to obey, an angel’s programming made them content with passivity and waiting without questioning. 

Now, sitting quietly beside Bella, merely holding her hand, Edward very suddenly understood every human who claimed they would die if one or another of their ridiculous desires weren’t met. Either he was going to die--—he was so full of questions and worries, he was sure he was going to explode--or he was going to go crazy. What would insanity be like for a being like him, he wondered.

Perhaps he’d gone insane long ago when he defied the order of the universe to save a baby girl. If there was anything fair about the universe, he should at least be able to read her mind. She was gripping his hand tightly enough that a human would be in a great deal of pain. What could she possibly be thinking?

“Will you take me back to the meadow?” Bella asked. Her voice squeaked a bit as she spoke. 

Edward blinked. That was not among his many guesses.

“I don’t know. It’s just … I mean, it seemed kind of magical. I guess?” Her words came out in a rush, all jumbled and spiky. “It’s not easy, okay? Magic is supposed to be an illusion. Sleight of hand and all that.” She took a deep breath, still not looking at him. “Part of me is still trying to figure out the trick. It has to be a trick, right?”

She exhaled in a shaky gust and squeezed his hand particularly hard. She spoke again before he could answer. “I can’t see Jasper yet, right?”

He paused just in case Bella was going to ramble on again. When she didn’t, he answered in as soothing a tone as he could manage. “He’ll be in surgery for several more hours at best.”

“Okay.” Another deep breath. She finally raised her head and looked him in the eyes. He could tell she was holding her breath as she searched him and stared as though she were trying to see him, the real him, for the first time. “Will you take me there?” she whispered.

Tentative, he began to reach out, but when she flinched, he dropped his free hand back down to his lap. “Yes, if that’s what you want.” Again, he worried he was going to be whisked away. By now, the higher angels had to have known what he’d done. What would they do to him?

Bella nodded and closed her eyes. “Okay. I’m ready.”

His lips twitched. “Not from here.”

She opened one eye and squinted at him. 

“Emmett would be quite surprised if you disappeared out of this room,” he said. “Let me come to the door, like--” He cut off too late.

Now it was her lips that twitched. “Like you’re a normal human being?”

He ducked his head, not knowing what to say. A few seconds went by. Then, Bella giggled. She slapped a hand over her mouth, but she couldn’t contain them. When he looked up at her again, she burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry,” she said between titters. “I’m in cahoots with an angel to save the delicate sensibilities of the big, beefy human asshole with commitment issues. Am I in a comic book?”

Edward felt a stirring of something light and somewhat frightening--hope? He swallowed hard and hoped he was reading the humor in her voice correctly. “Who am I in this comic?”

She sighed, and to his infinite surprise, she raised a trembling hand to his cheek. “One of the heroes, I think?” There was a waver in her voice and tears in her eyes. “Heroes are never simple.” Her eyes searched his again, and he wondered what answers she was trying to find. “A good hero has to have a tragic flaw, right?”

His vessel’s human heart was pounding so hard, Edward had to resist the urge to rub his chest. “What’s my tragic flaw?”

She huffed. "I don't know yet. That's one of the things we have to talk about."

"In the meadow."

She nodded.

Now it was Edward’s turn to study her. “Bella, if you need more time to process, that would be understandable. You were shot only hours ago by a person whom your friends know intimately. You--”

“Saw my sweet, innocent, human boyfriend become a supernatural thing in front of my eyes?” Her tone was dry. She pulled her hand from his to wrap her arms around herself. She wasn’t looking at him again. “No, Edward. I need to decide if I can handle this. Can handle you, I mean.” Her laugh then was bitter. “It’s the one thing I can control right now.”

“Okay,” Edward said, already missing her hand in his. “I’ll come to the door, then I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

She nodded, and the look in her eyes became wary. She kept watching him, and after a moment, he realized she was waiting for him to disappear. Of course, he didn’t want her to be scared of him. But she was waiting, and it wasn’t as though there was any use in pretending there was some other way to get out of this room. He sighed and poofed out of existence.

With several neighbors out and about, Edward wasn’t able to manifest until he was about a block away. No matter. It gave him time to wonder and worry what Bella was going to ask and how much he could tell her without expecting her to run away screaming. 

Then again, the fact she wanted him to whisk her away to a meadow in the middle of the wilderness was a good sign. It spoke to the idea that her trust in him hadn’t been completely shattered. 

Arriving at Rosalie’s doorstep, Edward readied himself for the role he had to play. He put on a harried look and opened the door. 

“Rosalie, there you are.” Edward went to Rose and grabbed her hand. “Have you seen Bella?”

His sister was good on her feet. She crossed her arms and gave him a bit of a hard time, protecting Bella. After the obligatory back and forth for Emmett’s benefit, Rosalie huffed. “I’ll see if she wants to talk to you, but no promises.” She shook a finger in his face.

He let his shoulders slump in relief. “Thank you, Rose. Really.”

Her thoughts were so self-congratulatory, Edward couldn’t help his small smile. She thought she might look into acting and was imagining herself walking across a stage in an elegant ball gown to accept an award. Rosalie as a human was nothing if not dramatic.

“Hey.”

Edward turned to find Emmett glaring at him, his thoughts furious. The man pointed at him. “I see that smirk.”

“Oh, no. I was--” Edward started, but the man stood up.

“Look, I don’t know what the hell was going on with you and Bella, but you better be treating her right. She’s one of the good ones.”

Edward was at once appreciative and irritated. “I’m aware of that, believe me.” He tilted his head. “Rosalie doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more than Bella does.”

Emmett’s glare fell, and he ducked his head. “Yeah. I’m working on that.”

Giving Emmett a break, Edward put a hand to the man’s arm. He let a calming influence spread through him to the other man and heard him take a deep breath. “Everything will work out.”

Rosalie came back into the room with Bella trailing behind him. She offered Edward a small smile, and when he offered his hand, she took it. Hope burned brighter in him. Hope for what he wasn’t sure. At least she didn’t seem repulsed by him.

They left the house and walked for a while before Edward spoke. “Do you still want to go back to the meadow?”

“Is it really in California?”

“It is. I can take you anywhere you’d like, though. If you’d like to see--”

He stopped himself when he felt her palm go clammy. “No magic carpet ride, Aladdin. I want to go back there.” She blew out a shaky breath. “I need to know I didn’t imagine it.”

“Will you permit me to carry you?” he asked, keeping his tone unassuming.

She turned to face him and met his eyes again. “Yeah.”

The warmth at the center of his chest glowed. To pull her into his arms was the sweetest relief he’d ever known. “Hold on,” he said though it was unnecessary. He wasn’t going to let her go.

~0~

After he set her back on her feet, Edward retreated to the edge of the meadow, giving her space. He knew her well, Bella reflected. He was quiet and didn’t tease her when she touched the trees and felt the cold water of the creek.

It was all real, and it was definitely not Washington. 

She saw the patch of grass where she’d lain dying only hours before. The blood was still there. Her blood. She ran her fingers over the unmarred skin of her stomach and shivered when she remembered the way it had looked blown open by a bullet. 

“You’re safe from him, Bella,” Edward said, his voice only barely louder than the wind. “I made sure he would never threaten you again.”

Her head snapped up. “You didn’t …”

His eyes narrowed though not at her. “No, I didn’t kill him. I very much wanted to, but he’s alive for the same reason I can’t heal Jasper.”

“Right.” Bella looked off into the distance. Her stomach churned as she tried once again to reorient her reality. “Your fixed points.” She shook her head. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him. I don’t want anyone to die for me. Not anyone.”

“I understand.”

They were silent again. Edward was still. Bella began to pace. She stepped slowly in his direction. A few steps forward, a few back until she was near him. She didn’t look at him, but she was close enough their fingers would brush if she reached out only an inch more. Her throat was bone dry, but she looked up. 

She was still confused. When he looked at her like that, his eyes wide and innocent, it was too easy to remember everything he’d been. She felt equal parts betrayed--he wasn’t the person she’d thought he was and she couldn’t un-know that--and heartened. He was still him, and he still looked at her like he loved her. 

Of course, what could love mean to an angel?

She dropped her gaze to her shoes. “Can I see them?”

He shifted. “Them?”

Taking a deep breath, Bella raised her head again. She didn’t answer in words. Instead, she reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder. She pressed and slid her hand along his back. She felt his quick breath. 

“Oh,” he said quietly.

“Is it allowed?”

The corner of his mouth turned up, and to her surprise, he laughed. “I have no idea.”

“I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

He took her hand from his shoulder and brought it to his lips. “It is far, far too late for that.”

The air between them came to life with static electricity. She felt the thrill of it on her skin, making the hairs on her arms stand up. There was so much about this she had yet to put together, not the least of which was understanding what this--them--had cost him. 

He stepped back, away from her. “Stay where you are a moment,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket. He paused, giving her a sheepish look as he took off his shirt. He rolled his shoulders.

Bella yelped in surprise as they appeared as though they’d merely been tucked back. Her eyes went wide, and she stumbled several steps backward, falling down on her ass on the soft grass. She leaned back on her elbows, trying to take in the enormity of them. 

“Whoa,” she said on a breath, trying to find a context for what she was seeing. They were feathers but not like any bird she’d ever seen. They were black but a kind of black Bella didn’t have words for--like velvet and the night sky all at once. Black rimmed with a brilliant gold.

Edward stepped toward her slowly. She had the strangest urge to run, and yet, in her heart, she wasn’t scared of him. She knew she had nothing at all to fear. Power undulated off him almost perceptably. He could crush her with the flick of a wrist, without even touching her. She knew that. She knew it to the depth of her soul, and yet, she also knew he would never ever use it against her. She knew it as she knew her own name, her own voice, her own thoughts.

“Are you all right?” he asked, coming to stand over her. He offered a hand.

She took it and let him pull her to her feet. “I’m fine,” she said, her voice steady. 

Locking eyes with him, Bella rested her hand on his shoulder again. The motion drew her closer to him, and she stepped closer still. He rested his hand at her waist, not gripping, simply connecting. If she pushed up onto the balls of her feet, she could kiss him. If he tilted his head down, he could kiss her. He looked like he wanted to.

“Is this okay?” Bella asked, trying to defuse the tension before she got distracted. Her voice had a husky tone to it, and she could feel his breath against her face. “I mean, it’s not rude. To touch someone’s wings? What’s the etiquette? Wing etiquette.”

His smile broadened. “I don’t know, actually. It’s not done, not because touching is bad, but it’s something we simply don’t think about.”

Bella blinked, trying to process that. She let her eyes trace his features, remembering the feel of him beneath her fingers. “That’s sad,” she said.

He swallowed, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob. “It’s not something we miss because it’s not something we think about. However, I don’t find your request rude. I understand your curiosity.”

Bella let her eyes be drawn to his wings again, watching the way they stretched above his shoulders. It was so weird. And awesome in the original sense of the word. When she looked at those wings, she got the same feeling at the center of her chest as she did when she considered infinity--it wasn’t something a human could truly grasp. 

Her hand was shaking as she let her hands fall from his shoulders. 

The first touch was nothing Bella expected. The feathers--if they could be called that--were soft. Unnaturally soft. A combination of velvet, fleece, and rose petal. Yet there was a strength to them like dormant muscle waiting to be flexed. She dug her fingers deep, marveling at the feel. Beyond the softness, they were warm. A perfect warmth that enveloped her like a second skin. She imagined his wings wrapped around her and had to shake the longing off with a physical motion. She ran her hand deeper into his wings, finding the bone structure. She began to feel along that ridge.

Edward made a strange sound, something like a groan, and yanked away from Bella. She gasped. “What? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“No.” His voice sounded strangled. He’d angled his body away from her, and he was bent slightly at the waist. “You didn’t hurt me. I just … I, um.” He made another odd noise. It sounded suspiciously like a giggle. “I didn’t expect that.”

“What happened?” Bella asked, watching his wings flex and contract. She wanted to be concerned about whatever was happening with him, but she was entranced. His wings were so weird and beautiful. She could hardly take her eyes off them. “Does it feel bad?”

“Quite the opposite,” he said, straightening up. “I’m sorry. As I said, it was most unexpected. It felt good.” 

She finally looked at him, wondering if she understood what he was saying. “It felt good?”

He squirmed under her stare. “Yes. It felt very good.”

She held his stare for another few seconds and didn’t look away when she stepped forward. He watched her, and he didn’t pull away. His breath caught when she reached out again, and he let it out when her hand reached his wings.

Bella walked around him, watching his reactions but also brimming over with curiosity. She had a million questions. She traced the skin of his back where his wings emerged. “How?” she asked, her voice breathy. “Where were they? I’ve touched you here. Where were you hiding them? And how did you not rip your shirt before? I mean, you took it off this time, but you had it on before.”

“It’s difficult to explain.” His breath stuttered as she began to comb her fingers through his wings. “They’re always here, but they exist in a different dimension. It’s where I go when I fly. It’s not like a bird or an airplane that you can see.”

Bella squeaked when his wing moved under her hand, undulating. She laughed, and when she looked at him, his grin was mischievous. “When everything happened, when I had to protect you, I brought my wings forward into this realm. My shirt was torn, but I can put it back together.”

“Jesus,” Bella muttered. “Well, that’s a useful power, I guess. Super seamstress powers.” She furrowed her brow. “Why are women seamstresses and men tailors?” She shook her head. “Nevermind. I guess I was too distracted to notice your torn shirt earlier, huh?"

"Slightly." He shuddered with what looked like pleasure when she experimentally brushed her fingers along both his shoulder blades, wings and all. "Bella. You have no idea what that's doing to me."

He was wrong. Bella was well aware what she was doing to him. She was intimately familiar with Edward’s face when he was aroused. It was an incredible thing to consider. He was so other--what else could one call it when he could do these incredible things? When she could touch these wings that were unlike anything she’d seen or felt before? Yet he was still him. 

Bella found the base, where his wing met his shoulder blade. She felt the flex of it, the way the feathers--non-feathers--went hard and soft under her caress. She stroked along the bone, combing outward. “Edward?”

His face was flushed. His eyelashes fluttered as though he were finding it difficult to focus. “I … yes?”

She drew the tip of her finger from the base of his spine up to circle around his other wing. “What you said earlier—everything we’ve been to each other--that wasn’t a lie.”

He turned, out of her hands, and despite the fact she could see he was breathing hard, his look was serious. “None of that was a lie.”

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. She let her hands slide up his back and tangle again in his wings. He let out a cry and bucked his hips against her as though he couldn’t help his actions. “So you weren’t lying about being a virgin?” she asked, surprised her voice was so steady.

His eyes flew open, fixed on her. “No.” His voice was all gravel. “That’s very true.”

Her arms around his waist, Bella let herself fall backward. She brought him with her. He came willingly, but she noticed the unnatural way they fell, as though he was softening the blow.

Interesting. Fascinating. She had so many questions, but they could wait. Right now, she wanted things. She wanted to take some of her power, her control, back, and she wanted permission to be glad her boyfriend hadn’t disappeared completely . Her sweet, often bumbling Edward was still right here in her arms.

“Are you--” he began, but she took his face in her hands, bringing him down for a kiss.

“Shhh,” she said, running her hands along his sides, his back, and up to trace the feathers. 

Edward exhaled in a gust and gave in. He lowered his face to hers and kissed her. It was a hard kiss, tinged with desperation, and yet it wasn’t lacking for the tender emotion. He was relieved, she thought. Relieved she could still stand to touch him. Relieved they hadn’t lost this.

No. She wasn’t disgusted. Overwhelmed, yes, but she could put that to the side for the moment. She could be more curious than scared. She wondered what would happen if she--

“Agh!” Edward bucked particularly hard against her. She grinned and took another single feather-like thing in between her fingers. She stroked along the underside, reveling in his low moan. “Bella.” The word was raw. “I’m not … I …”

She thrust up to meet the roll of his hips and wondered if he knew the gold edges of his wings glowed hot white when he was worked up. “Let go,” she said. “I want to see you.”

He let go, kissing her and rutting against her as she stroked his wings--so fucking weird and yet …

Christ, it was hot. 

When he came, his wings sparkled. Well, perhaps twinkled was the right word? No. There was something between incandescence and starlight in the deep black that intensified when his body went rigid. His wings stuck straight up and out. 

Spent, he crumpled, wings as limp as the rest of him. Bella looked left and right and cackled when she saw the way they lay haphazardly on the grass, sprawled like the rest of his limbs.

“Ugh.” Edward lifted his head. He looked dazed. “I made a mess.”

Bella threw her head back and laughed. This whole fucking day was surreal, but she liked this part. Even if she didn’t quite believe it yet, she liked this part just fine. 

She stroked his cheek. “Luckily, you have super-laundromat powers, right?”

She remembered her clothes soaked in blood--her blood--one second and totally spotless the next.

Fucking weird.

With a sigh, she cupped the back of Edward’s head and brought his face to hers for another kiss. She just needed a few more minutes to let herself bask. Then, she would have to figure out exactly what this new reality looked like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Sally and Sarah for stepping in with beta. Thanks to MoH and Barburella for prereading. 
> 
> How we doing out there in fanfic land? Feeling a bit better about Bella now that she’s had a chance to calm down? You guys are ruthless. Lol. I gave Edward the gift of wing kink in recompense.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good morning, duckies.

Evening began to encroach as they talked in the meadow. When Bella shivered, Edward tugged on her hand. She came willingly and watched with wide eyes as he wrapped his wing around her. He shivered when she stroked his feathers, but this time they both knew what to expect. She didn’t do much more than caress him lightly.

“It’s warm.” She nestled against him with a soft sigh. “And soft.”

“They are as you need them to be.”

Within minutes, Bella’s eyelids were drooping. Her exhaustion had been palpable for a long while now. It was understandable, of course. It had been a long day for her. He reached out and smoothed a lock of hair out of her eyes. “You can sleep, Bella. I’ll see you safely home. I promise.”

She signed, blinking. “I’m afraid,” she said, her voice soft and close to sleep.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here with you.”

She sighed again, her bleary eyes fixing on his. She traced the line of his jaw with her fingertips. “I’m afraid you aren’t real.” Her nose crinkled. “Is any of this really happening?”

He smiled, charmed and smitten. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips. “All of it.”

She yawned and closed her eyes. “Just don’t leave me,” she mumbled, succumbing to sleep. 

Edward’s human heart twisted. That was a promise he couldn’t make, at least not in the way she meant. It was only by some miracle she still trusted him. Or perhaps not a miracle so much as she had no one else. 

He pushed the thought away. His time with Bella was a gift. It was already more than he ever could have dreamed he’d have. 

Carefully, keeping Bella wrapped in his wing, Edward got to his feet. He took Bella into his arms, smiling when she made a snuffling sound. She curled instinctively toward him but didn’t wake. Assured that she was fine, Edward flew into the air, back to Washington.

He took her directly to her home, to her room, and laid her down. She mumbled his name in her sleep, burrowing down under the covers as he tucked her in. 

As he stepped away from her bed, he considered his next move. He should check up on Felix and his friends to see if he had successfully dissuaded them from thinking about Bella. There was much he could be doing to ensure she would remain safe. Also, he knew she’d want to know how Jasper was the moment she woke up.

Forefront in his mind, though, was the fact Bella had asked him to stay.That was all the excuse he needed. He retreated to the far wall, content to do as he had done all Bella’s life. He watched.  
~0~  
Bella woke with a gasp and a creeping sensation of dread. She blinked, trying to parse fact from fiction. 

It wasn’t that she’d awoken from a nightmare. Rather, she just had a general sense that her sleep hadn’t been peaceful. There were monsters lurking in the corners of her mind. She’d gone to sleep in a different world than the one she’d woken up in.

She’d gone to sleep in a meadow.

“Edward?” she asked into the semi-darkness. The word was scratchy and confused. She blinked again, trying to shake off the cobwebs in her mind. Why would he be in her room in the dark? And why was she so desperate to see him?

“I’m here.”

She jumped, clapping her hands over her mouth to cover the noise.

“I'm sorry,” he said, not moving from where he stood across the room.“You asked me not to leave. I can, if you wish. If I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“No!” Bella pressed her hand against her mouth, cleared her throat, and tried again. “No, I don’t want you to leave,” she said, her voice softer. 

She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about the fact he’d watched her most of her life. It should have creeped her out. She had teased him--only half joking--about being a pervert, and he’d assured her that an angel wasn’t programed that way. Yes, he’d seen her naked, but there was no sexual drive attached to those memories. He didn’t think of it any differently than she thought of looking at animals. Human bodies were simply their bodies; nothing more.

Of course, he was more intimately acquainted with her body now. Regardless, she couldn’t separate what she should have been feeling from what she knew she was feeling. She didn’t want to be away from him right now. If he was a supernatural being, if that hadn’t all been in her head, there was all the more reason to feel like he could disappear at any moment. She knew for a fact he could. He could be in Japan in the blink of an eye.

Bella huffed. Her mind kept trying to reject what she knew was true--all the things Edward had told her about angels and his abilities. It was a lot to take in.

She sat up again and crossed her legs. As everything that had happened the day before came back to her, she gasped again. “Jasper?”

He vanished in front of her eyes, and Bella yelped. Before she could move, he was back, standing exactly where he’d been just a heartbeat before. She yelped again and then groaned, crumpling to her side. “Jesus Christ,” she said under her breath.

“I’m sorry.” 

She opened her eyes to find him watching her, his eyes intense but pinched at the corners. “I mean… I’ll get used to it, I guess. It’s just disconcerting. Couldn’t you at least have the decency to make a bamf noise like Nightcrawler? Maybe a little whispy blue smoke?”

He furrowed his brow. “I...I suppose I could make a noise, if that would be better. What is a bamf noise?”

Bella had to smile. Yes, there was her Edward. “You have to give my poor, human brain a little bit to catch up with all the really, really weird stuff.” She let out a breath, calming. “You saw Jasper?”

“He’s settled in a room. His brother hasn’t left his side. Nor has Alice. The doctors have done all they can. It’s up to him now,” Edward said, his tone careful.

Tears spring to Bella’s eyes, and she looked down at her comforter. “Unless it’s a fixed point.”

“Yes.”

She clenched her hand tight. “But it can’t be, right? He can’t have been meant to die this way. Not if it involved me and you. If I have no fixed points, I can’t be part of anyone else’s fixed points, right? That makes no sense.”

“It might not have been the way that was set but the time. A date.”

Bella looked up at him. “But my life shouldn’t exist. I shouldn’t exist. I’m out here interacting with all sorts of people, and I’m a loose canon.”

“Bella.” He came toward her with quick steps and took her by the shoulders. “This is not a useful line of thought.”

“I don’t give a damn about useful.” Her voice shook. “Edward, if I’m the reason Jasper might die--”

“You’re not.” He sat on the bed beside her. “Bella, the world doesn’t revolve around you and your presence. You are far from the first person to have lived, to have skipped a fix point. I must assume there’s a reason these points are fixed, and yet the world has yet to end because one is missed.”

Bella swallowed, searching his face. She wanted a solid answer. Yes or no, had her life caused Jasper’s death?

“Life for us, for angels, is no more clear than life for humans,” he said.

Damn.

“There’s a movie like this, is there not?” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “If you weren’t here, would Jasper have stayed out of trouble as long as he did? Who would have been there for your friends?”

Bella sniffled and leaned against him, letting him wrap an arm around her. “Okay, Clarence. I’ve touched a few lives. I get it.” She shuddered, turning her head to bury her face at his neck. “It’s just my life isn’t worth someone else’s.”

He took her face in his hands and raised it to look at him. “You are precious, Bella, and you’re here. Whatever the world may have been is inconsequential. Good and bad, your existence means something.” His eyes seemed to bore into her soul as he stroked his thumbs across her cheeks. “I don’t know if it’s any comfort to you, but it is nonetheless true. You are the most meaningful thing in all of my existence. And the best thing.”

Bella stared at him, held captive by the depth of the look in his eyes. The enormity of the statement wasn’t lost on her. As much as she could understand anyway. 

He had told her he’d seen other worlds, other universes. Countless races and all of human history. It wasn’t a concept she could truly grasp, she knew. She had no concept for much of what he'd told her. She had a million questions, but one more pressing than the others.

She put hand against his at her cheek. “Why me?” she asked in a shaking voice. 

He’d presided over countless deaths, protecting only those he’d been ordered to protect. She’d been a tiny, helpless baby, but he had seen many babies die. Even now her life was insignificant if not inconsequential. How could she possibly matter to a being such as him?

He sighed and closed his eyes. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “I’ve had years to contemplate the question, and I have no rational answer.” He opened his eyes, and she was struck breathless by the vulnerability there. “I only know that, for me, you are reason enough to justify the creation of the whole world.”

Bella swayed, dizzy. She cupped a shaky hand behind his neck. “You know, if you’re trying to make me forget how often you lied to me, you’re overdoing it, champ.”

He leaned in, his lips so near hers, she could feel the heat of his breath. “Am I?” he asked, the words vibrating against her skin. “I am a quick learner, but I have yet to pick up on the human talent of subtlety.”

She laughed and then sighed, melting into the comfort of his embrace. She tilted her head to catch his kiss. There was something so surreal about being with him this way. He was familiar. Still her Edward, yet she understood him more now. She understood how he could be both shy and sure; how his kisses, his touch held the eagerness of one who was discovering something for the first time, and the confidence of one who knew exactly what he was doing.

He pressed her down onto the bed as he kissed her and pulled back, his lips parted, looking at her. There was a question in his eyes. He straightened up, and with the dawn filtering in from the window behind him, he looked stereotypically angelic. The sun played off the bronze of his hair like a halo. She shivered, her heart quickening with awe.

His smile gentled, and he began to trace the features of her face with a single fingertip. “You see me as something fantastically other, don’t you?” he asked, his tone somewhat wistful.

She chuffed. “How else am I supposed to see you? Fantastically other is exactly what you are. ” She let her hands play along the inside of his arm, tracing from one birthmark to another so she wouldn’t have to look up at him. “This is a meat suit, isn’t it? It’s not even what you look like.”

“This isn’t what you look like either,” he said, pressing a thumb to the center of her lips.

Her eyes darted up to his. “What are you talking about?” she asked and kissed the pad of his thumb.

He pressed the moistened skin to the divot of her chin. “Everything about this world is temporary, Bella, including the skin you’re in.” His eyes traveled the length of her body and back up. He cocked his head as he looked on her. “How to explain this.” He tapped a finger on her chin, thinking. “You and I are both made of energy. Perhaps you might think of your periodic table of elements, hmm? Energy is like elements--there are different types. So my type is what makes an angel and your type is what makes a human.

“These bodies”--he drew his thumb down under her chin, down her neck, resting against her pulse point--“are ineffective. They can only hold your energy for a relatively short period of time.” He swallowed hard, looking down at his thumb as though he could see her pulse. “These bodies are prone to defect.”

As his eyes returned to hers, so did his gentle smile. “Your energy, your soul, has been around as long as my energy has. It was simply in different forms. When the world resolved itself and life on Earth began, your soul began to learn and evolve. You’ve had more than one body, Bella. You don’t remember, and I’ve never understood that part--why you must forget.”

“You know, the fact that you, an angel”--would she ever get used to that idea--“don’t have any more idea how the afterlife works is not comforting. What’s the use of dating an angel if I don’t get inside info?”

He smirked. “Well, there’s always my seamstress and laundering powers.”

“Never having to do laundry is a definite perk.” She sighed, trying to process everything. “So reincarnation is a thing, huh?” She reached up to cup his cheek. “You know that makes it make even less sense, right?”

“What makes less sense?”

“You saving me. Not just when I was a baby. I mean yesterday at the docks. Why save me? Why expose yourself?” She hadn’t forgotten that there was still the possibility of angelic retribution for what Edward had done. She found his hands and squeezed them tightly between her own. “Why risk any of this when you know I’ll just be back?”

Edward was quiet at that. He looked down on her, studying her face with an expression she couldn’t read. “That’s a very good question,” he murmured. When his eyes fell on her, the look there was so soft, so tender, Bella’s heart skipped a beat. “I said before you look on me as some fantastic being, but I hope you realize as...I hope you understand I’m not trying to be vain when I say life-altering. As life altering as it might be for you to know there are angels, to know I’m one of them, you are likewise a revelation to me.”

Bella was already shaking her head before he was done speaking. “No. Nah-uh. You can’t even try to use that line on me. There’s no way being a human compares to being an angel.”

“You think I’m powerful.”

“Buddy, I know you’re powerful. You have powers. Power-ful. That’s the definition.”

He chuckled again. “I’m not denying I’m different than you. What I’m trying to say is that knowing of me has changed your perspective, correct?”

“Chyeah.” She shook her head ruefully. “I guess you could say you changed my understanding of the world.”

He nodded. “What I’m saying is that you’ve done the same for me.” He took her hand and pressed it to his cheek. “I have lost my perspective, Bella. It’s not that I didn’t consider human lives important. I did, in the same way you know that you exist in this world and other things must exist with you. Like you might know that a honey bee is important to your ultimate survival, to your ecosystem, but you would not feel bad if one were to run into your windshield.”

“You’re comparing me to an insect. That’s so romantic.”

He gave her a patient look, knowing, for once, that she was kidding. He pressed her knuckles to his lips. “You begin to see what I’m saying. An angel has no construct for romance. Such a thing is illogical for beings as we are. And our long lives allow us a different perspective from yours. You’re right.” He stroked his fingers down her face. “I should not be so attached to this visage. You will die someday.” He shook as he said it. “Before this, before you, those words had no gravity to me. Why should they when your essence will go on?

“But there are things that are you and will always be you, and there are things that are you because you were born in this time, in this body. When you die, that part of you will disappear, including your memories of me. You will forget me. You are destined to.”

She wanted to argue. How could she forget him? It was impossible. It may not have meant the same, but he was the most important thing in her existence as well. No. She couldn’t forget him.

Could she?

He pulled her into a sitting position and took her in his arms, his face mere inches from hers. “I love you, Isabella Swan. I love you, and I wonder if you can grasp how utterly impossible that is. I am not built to love. Angels don’t have that kind of strength.”

“Strength?” she said, the word tremulous. 

“Oh, yes.” His hands were in her hair now, combing backward, his eyes intent on hers. “It takes a great deal of strength to love. To love, you must face the consequence of loss, and that is something I don’t know how to do. You are the most important thing that has ever been, my love. You’ve changed not only my world, but my very biology. That’s how powerful you are.”

Bella was getting lightheaded. That was too much to consider. She was nothing, a nobody. Nobody's child. Nobody’s sister. If Jasper died, she would be nobody’s friend. She wasn’t sure if she would have understood anyone looking at her the way Edward did then, let alone a supernatural being. 

Unable to find words, Bella followed the will of her body. She tilted her head up and kissed him. She stole kisses between ragged breaths, overwhelmed at the emotion that rocked her. There was some comfort in the way he seemed just as needy. He kissed her and gripped her to him, his hands changing their grip time after time as their lips came together. She could see he meant what he said. She had thrown him for a loop, and his life--as incomprehensible to her as it might have been--was forever altered.

There was comfort in their mutually assured destruction, and yet therein was the desperation. Some things just were what they were. Bella loved Edward. It didn’t matter that he was a different species. It didn’t matter that their age gap was eons. It didn’t matter what she should or should not have been comfortable with. 

What mattered was everything outside the two of them. Now she knew angels existed. They were part of reality. They had a biology, a science, to them. There was a reason for everything whether or not she knew what that was. 

Angels had always been separate from humans. Secret. They were not built to love, and humans were not built to love them. 

It just stood to reason that this, whatever was happening between them, couldn’t possibly last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have to say, it is COLD in my house, and I wouldn’t mind some warm, soft Edward wings around me. 
> 
> Many thanks to barburella, MoH, and songster for all their help. 
> 
> Thanks to y’all for being so great about waiting for updates. My ofic is coming along, and that makes me happy, but I’m not forgetting about you.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good morning, my ducks.

Edward had never considered the act of holding hands before. It was such an inane gesture. Never in his centuries of watching human existence had he considered it important enough to even spare a single thought. 

It seemed he was making up for lost time. As they walked, Edward considered how something as simple as handholding could be so important.

Her hand was small and warm in his. He enjoyed the connection it provided--the physical proof that they were tethered. Strange the...comfort? Was that the correct word? He’d had no need of comfort before, so it was difficult to get a handle on what he was feeling now. He only knew that it was better to be bound to her this way, to feel the firm grasp of her fingers flexed around his.

He strongly suspected Bella enjoyed their touch for a different reason: support. She was scared. He could feel the fear emanating from her. By then, Edward didn’t need to lament that he couldn’t read her mind. He lamented instead that he was almost certain she wasn’t afraid for herself. She never was. He could bet that she was afraid for Jasper. 

That was okay. He was afraid enough for her. It was better now that he could be afraid for her while holding her hand. Every life, every day was in danger. Bella’s life just seemed more in danger then most.

“We’re clear on the whole no smiting thing, right? I know Peter is an asshole, but he doesn’t deserve to be smote,” Bella said, babbling. 

Edward squeezed her hand. “As you say, I doubt he’ll do much in a setting as public as a hospital.” His cheek twitched. “At least nothing that would justify smiting.”

She pulled him to a stop so she could wag her finger in his face. “Nothing justifies smiting.” She was adorably exasperated. “I feel like I shouldn’t have to be telling an angel these things.”

Edward debated with himself a moment before he decided to broach the subject. “You said you didn’t believe in angels before me. And certainly, the fictional angels you’re familiar with, the Supernatural angels, are very vengeful. Yet, you seem to think I should fit a certain criteria.” He smiled and stroked her hair back from her face. “I’m afraid you’re the only one that good, Bella.”

“Right.”

Placing two fingers under her chin, he raised her head to look at him. “Do I disappoint you?”

“What? Why would you?”

“To harbor no firm beliefs is one thing. To have a theory outright disproven is quite another.”

Bella eyed him and scoffed. “Edward. You ripped a bullet out of my body.” She tilted her head. “Did I ever thank you for that? I think I was too busy telling your freaky ass to stay away from me.”

He scoffed and drew her close to his side, continuing onward toward the front doors of the hospital. “I couldn’t imagine this world without you in it. There’s no need for thanks.” He nodded in the direction of the doors. “I only wish there was more I could do.”

She stopped him again as they entered the hospital. “You said you couldn’t help Jasper because you didn’t know what the repercussions would be.” She rolled her eyes skyward. “Have you heard anything from..them. Or whatever?”

Edward felt a rush of what could only be fear course down his spine. He took a quick moment to reflect that he and Bella were very similar. Like her, his fear was not for himself. He didn’t want to leave her. “I’ve not heard from any of the others, no.”

She rested her head briefly against his shoulder. “Good.” She took a deep breath and steeled herself. Edward saw why easily. Peter was heading toward them. He hadn’t seen them yet, but he would. “I need you,” Bella said. 

Peter looked up and saw them then. For a moment, he’d looked the picture of a worried brother--all fear and grief. When he laid eyes on Edward and Bella, his face was a mask of fury. He quickened his pace, and Edward held on tighter to Bella out of instinct. He was already having trouble with her no-smiting rule. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Peter asked, surprisingly keeping his voice low. 

Bella chose to ignore the question. “How is he, Peter?”

“Oh, are we pretending you give a fuck now?”

“Come on. Of course I care.”

Peter leaned in close enough so he could hiss at her. “You really going to give me that shit after all this?” He gestured down the hall he’d just come from. “You really going to give me that after you took off without a second thought about anyone except yourself? Do you know if he survives. If. The police will be all over him the second he wakes up.”

Bella took a step backward--Peter’s height and anger were intimidating--and he grabbed her to keep her anchored. 

Edward, who had been proud of himself for letting Bella lead, stepped up then. He put his hand out, grabbing Peter in a hold that was just a bit too hard to be a simple warning.

“Let the fuck go of me, freak,” Peter said, his voice still low and dangerous.

Edward held his grasp for another two seconds, staring Peter down, wordlessly telling him that if he touched Bella again, he’d regret it. He could break all the fingers in the man’s hand with simple, human strength. Surely, that couldn’t be considered smiting.

When he loosened his hold, Peter yanked his hand back and put both hands up. Edward’s stare had unnerved him enough that he was more scared than angry. His thoughts were venomous; filled with all the things he wanted to do to Edward.

Asshole’s not worth it, Peter told himself, reminding himself that he couldn’t get kicked out of the hospital right now.

The whole exchange took only a few seconds. Bella looked relieved when Peter took a step back. She looked to him. “How is he?” she tried again.

“Fuck off. You’re the one who got him in here. You can fuck the hell off.”

Edward shouldn’t have been surprised at what happened next. Bella’s face went from one of stricken pleading to a seriously pissed off woman. She was diminutive, yet somehow, when she stood up straight and fixed her glare on Peter, she looked to be six feet tall. 

“I’m the one who got him in here?” She leaned forward so she could whisper-hiss at him. “Are you serious with that shit? How delusional can you possibly get? Why was he there in the first place, Peter? You and I both know he never wanted to get into all that. I went there to try to get him out of it. Who dragged him there in the first place, huh?”

“Because of you. Because you can’t keep your mouth shut. Because you can’t--”

“Oh, would you come off it? You and James and Victoria can all go fuck off with that shit. I’m so fucking sick of it. I grew up the same way you did. The difference between you and me is you won’t stop being a fucking victim. I don’t owe you anything, least of all my complicity in your criminal activity. Your fucking friends tried to kill me. They tried to kill me and hit your brother--their friend--because they cared more about taking my life than about him. And why, Peter? Why do you and your friends think I deserve to die?”

“You stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, and you get what you deserve.”

“That’s the point, you delusional asshole. I didn’t stick my nose anywhere. You brought it to me. James brought it to me. My work. My fucking life. And I get it, Peter. I do. You’ve been pushed down and shit on every damn day of your life. You don’t care about anyone because no one cares about you.” 

Bella’s face twisted from furious to sad. She gulped, her eyes going glassy with tears. “Except Jasper. You’ve always cared about Jasper. You’ve always loved him more than anything else in the world. Why now? You kept all your bullshit away from him for so long, why the hell would you drag him into it now? He shouldn’t have been there. He should never have been there.”

Edward could feel the guilt and shame twisting in Peter. His hands were clenched in fists at his sides. “Shut up,” he said, trying to find his fury again. “You shut the fuck up. You--”

“Excuse me.”

All the breath left Edward in a gust. A thrill of fear--pure fear--went down his spine, and the world seemed to stop. He found himself grappling with an uncomfortable, choking feeling. As though his lungs would not accept air. It was odd; Edward didn’t need to breathe, so it shouldn’t have bothered him. 

It was a different fear than what he’d felt when he knew Bella had been shot, that she was dying. It was very different, and yet just as intense.

At the sound of the gentle, yet authoritative voice, Bella and Peter each took a step back. They looked to the source with expressions on their faces like children about to be scolded on the playground. Edward didn’t turn around. He saw the man who approached through Peter’s thoughts.

He was tall, svelte, and blond. There was something about the way he moved that was a step above regal. There was something about him that stunned. Peter’s thoughts grew cloudy around the edges as he took him in. He was wearing a lab coat that suggested he was a doctor, though Edward knew for a fact he wasn’t.

The man came to stand to the side and slightly behind Edward, looking at both Bella and Peter. Edward felt a touch at the back of his mind. Calming. Like a hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t relax.

“Mr. Whitlock, are these your brother’s friends?” Carlisle asked. 

Peter opened his mouth, intending to make a smart alec reply, but the buzz around his thoughts made words difficult. “I...uh. Yeah,” he said instead.

“That’s wonderful,” Carlisle said, his voice serene. “They can sit with him while you run your errand. It helps, you know. Even though he’s unconscious, the presence of friends and loved ones helps. Sometimes, it’s the sound of their voice that guides them home or gives them the strength to fight.”

“I… Yeah, I… Yes.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry, then. I know you’re eager to be back with Jasper. Go run your errand so you can get back sooner. I’ll show them back.”

Edward felt Peter’s uncertainty, but Carlisle’s gentle suggestion was more than mere words. Edward felt the pressure Carlisle put in the man’s mind, making it a command Peter was almost helpless but to follow. If he’d had a stronger mind, he might have been able to fight it off. But Peter was, at his heart, a follower. It wasn’t difficult to plant the idea that he really needed to be elsewhere.

Peer cleared his throat. “Okay.” He looked to Bella, his eyes narrowed slightly. “I’ll be back.”

Bella turned to watch him go for only a moment before she swiveled back. She looked at Carlisle, blinked, and then looked to Edward. He did his best to school his expression, but he must not have done a good job. Then again, Bella was a very perceptive person. The way she clutched his hand, he knew she knew, or at least, she’d guessed what Carlisle was. 

The question now, of course, was what he was doing there.

“Come with me,” Carlisle said, waving them down a hallway. The woman at the check-in desk, who had been eyeing them during their hissed conversation, was now ignoring them completely. Edward guessed Carlisle had taken care of that as well. 

Edward and Bella fell in step behind him, both quiet. It struck Edward what a terrible thing it was to have to walk to your own execution. He’d watched countless people over the centuries put in that position. He understood now how each step was a show of incredible bravery.

He felt anything but brave then. He had to keep himself in check, or he’d give in to the urge to scoop Bella into his arms and fly far away. He knew of other planets where she could breathe the air. He imagined she’d like to see them.

“His condition is critical but stable,” Carlisle said even though he knew damn well neither of them thought he was a real doctor. He kept up a steady conversation, telling them of Jasper’s various struggles, as they wandered down hallways and up elevators. 

When they were outside the door of Jasper’s room, Carlisle turned to them. He looked directly at Bella, his smile kind, and touched her arm. “He’s going to live,” he said. “He’ll make a full recovery.”

Bella made a small noise in the back of her throat, something like a whimper, and exhaled in a gust. “Oh, God,” she muttered, closing her eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Go sit with him. He’s trying to find his way in the darkness. Edward and I need to talk.”

Bella’s eyes snapped open wide. She looked again between Carlisle and Edward. Her grip on Edward’s hand tightened as though she could keep him there by her strength of will alone. He could feel her fear. She knew Carlisle was powerful. More powerful than Edward. 

Still, his brave human girl took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Don’t take him,” she said, looking Carlisle right in the eyes. “If he broke a rule, or… I mean, you have to see how fucked up it all is. Rules that aren’t rules, or whatever. You can’t have a one size fits all system. It just doesn’t work. There are always what if’s and--”

Edward was startled to hear Carlisle chuckle. He reached out and touched her arm again, calming her. “Don’t worry, child. I’m not here to take him from you. I promise.”

Now it was Edward’s turn to exhale in a gust. The very-human gesture caught him off guard, but he couldn’t help his relief. He finally looked at Carlisle and saw he seemed amused. 

“Rest easy, Bella,” Carlisle said. “You should have a moment with your friend, and I wish only to speak with Edward. That’s all. Go to him. It will be all right.”

Edward squeezed her hand and turned her toward him with a tug. He brushed his free hand down her cheek, relieved that this would not be the last time he touched her. “Go on. I’ll be close by.”

She looked at Carlisle once more. Edward could see she didn’t trust the other angel, but she did trust him. She nodded. “Okay,” she said, and pushed up on her tiptoes to give him a resolute kiss. Basically showing Carlisle how little she thought of any rules he might have about them.

Edward couldn’t help his smile as he kissed her back. The kiss lasted only a second or two, but it was momentous. He wasn’t ashamed of himself for this. This could not be wrong by anyone’s definition.

Then again, as he fell into step beside Carlisle, Edward wondered whose definition they were playing by. Carlisle wasn’t going to drag him back today, but that didn’t mean there were no repercussions.

“Peace, Edward,” Edward heard the words in his mind. “You’re right. Your choices have repercussions but not punishment. There will be no retribution. Not from us.”

Edward considered this a moment. “You’re aware of what I did?”

The color of Carlisle’s thoughts was bemused. “Of course. You’re not the first angel to be seen, as you well know. You remember Gabriel. Gabriel started a rather prevalent myth with his appearance. There have been others as well. Less grandiose, but that’s Gabriel. And he’s of my echelon. You’d think he’d be held to a higher standard, but I suppose that would assume there is a standard for this kind of thing to begin with, which there is not.”

Carlisle waved a hand, knowing he’d gotten tangled up in his own musing. He gestured to an office and closed the door behind them once Edward had entered.

“We exist, Edward,” Carlisle said, sitting down behind the desk and looking to Edward. “Because we exist, because we interact with the humans, these little sightings are inevitable.”

“But there must be some reason you’ve come. Last time, you came to warn me. I know exactly how many days I have left, believe me. Now, you’ve come again.” Edward stopped there, waiting for Carlisle to fill in the blanks.

At that, Carlisle was quiet. He stroked his chin, thinking and not letting Edward hear his thoughts. “If you want to know the truth, you fascinate me, Edward. You and your human. I came for many reasons. The first is that you have been worrying needlessly, which is a curiosity in and of itself.” Carlisle grinned. “Angels have a singular personality and thought process. There are defects, of course. Gabriel for instance. But when an angel develops such a defect many millennia into his existence, I take notice.”

“Is that not a defect in and of itself?”

Carlisle’s grin broadened. “Oh, yes. Amongst my echelon, I am another they shake their heads at.” He cocked his head, considering. “That seems to reinforce the idea that we don’t know all we think we know, even of our own species. Have you considered the subject of angels and evolution?”

Edward cocked an eyebrow and waited.

“Humans, like so many other species, evolved from a state of biological impulse--eat, sleep, defecate, procreate--to the thinking creatures they are today, all varied and complicated. Have you considered that angels too may evolve? It would be different, of course. We are immortal beings.” He waved a hand. “Well, as immortal as it is possible to be. At any rate, because our species doesn’t procreate, it’s not our offspring who carry the genetic mutation that is evolution, but ourselves. Theoretically, of course. So we begin to see mutations here and there. Gabriel ages ago. Me. Rosalie. You. We are beginning to evolve into beings with...well, emotions in your case. Perhaps curiosity in mine.” He tapped his fingers on the desk, not looking at Edward at all now but thinking out loud. “We begin to evolve into creatures who perhaps question our own biological impulse. Have you considered that? That though we are thinking, reasoning creatures, we adhere to a call within us without questions. We are like animals that way who are cable of logic and philosophy. Capable of questioning what we’re doing, and yet we do not.”

Edward hummed. “We are no more than trained dogs, when you put it that way.”

Carlisle nodded. “We interact with the humans as we do because that is our part in the grand design. That is what we were made for, is it not? And yet, here we are. You and I and our defects. Yet still, the world spins on. And so it is with our realm as well.”

He looked to Edward. “I came for two reasons. The second is that you’ve been worrying about the fixed points in this young man’s life. That and your Bella has wanted so badly to see him. You would not have been able to get past Peter in your human state. There are rules. A family member must give you permission to visit Jasper, and he would not have.” He chuckled. “Strange, is it not? To consider that human words and ideas could stop a will as strong as Bella’s from seeing her friend.

“In any event. His death is not one of his fixed points. I know you wished to save him, so I did it for you. Don’t thank me,” Carlisle said, holding up a hand. “He would have lived in any case, but now he will make a full recovery. It was not much of a stretch.”

Edward nodded slowly. “You like Bella.”

“I believe I already said that. Yes. I became fascinated with what, or rather whom, could make you so fascinated. So consumed. Edward, you were the picture of the obedient angel for all of your existence until her. Of course I was curious.”

Again Edward nodded, accepting this. “And the first reason you came down?”

Carlisle fixed him with a probing stare. “How would the humans put it? For an angel, you are, at times, obtuse. I want to make this clear. You can fall. It is your choice, of course, but there would be no trouble from the angels.” His look was kind somehow. “I suppose I’m curious why you have not, and I thought it best to ask you directly seeing as I cannot divine the answer from my observations.”

Edward was quiet for a long while. “Who will protect her?”

“This threat will be over soon enough, but there will always be another. She is human, Edward. They are very fragile creatures. There was always going to be a time when you could not protect her, but you know this.”

“Yes,” Edward said, looking down at his hands. He swallowed hard. “But therein lies the rub. If I were to fall, I would become human. I would be part of the eternal cycle, would I not? Death and life and death and life.” He swallowed again. “And I would forget her. If I were human, I could lose her while I still lived, but after I died, I would forget.”

“Forgetting is not permanent. In the in between, the time between death and new life, you would remember.”

“And live lifetimes without remembering?” He sighed. “That’s not all, but that is the worst thought. There are others, of course, not the least of which is Bella herself. Humans are not so steady as we are. Feelings change. Love changes. I know her. If I were to fall and, some time down the line, she were to not love me or not want whatever life we could have together, she would stay. She would stay because she would consider my sacrifice too great.” He shook his head, closing his eyes against the pain. Knowledge of an impending separation, especially one as deep and total as this would be, was agony. What would it be like to truly experience it?

Carlisle spoke after a long moment. “That is, as they say, a hell of a choice.”

Edward huffed, amused at his words in spite of himself.

“Come,” Carlisle said, standing. “Bella is perhaps more curious than I am. Her questions are getting louder, and she’s worried I was lying about not absconding with you.”

Edward’s head snapped up. “You can hear her thoughts?”

“Of course.” Carlisle patted his back in a conciliatory fashion. “And there is yet another mystery for the ages. How in the worlds is she blocking an angel? I’ve always wondered. Ah, well. I expect you and I will always have to live with the same truth as the humans do. We will not have all the answers we want, celestial beings or no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My thanks to Songster, MoH, and Barbarella. 
> 
> Well. Edward won’t be dragged away from her screaming. Hummm.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, duckies. Hope you’re having a grand weekend. 
> 
> I’m handing out drabbles for Christmas in my group on Facebook if you want to join us. Just drop a line or a picture or whatever and a pairing, and I’ll write you a mini scene. 
> 
> Mwah.

As discombobulating as it was to consider the idea that Edward was an eons old angel, there were some advantages. It struck Bella as odd that he had not really experienced things she took for granted. Now that she knew, she was having fun guiding him through new experiences in taste and smell--things he had never had a use for before. In his months living as a human, he’d had these new experiences, but now that Bella was aware of his situation, she thought of new things to show him every day.

Funnily enough, being with an angel brought out the devilish side of her. 

Tonight, they were sitting cross-legged on her bed. Bella had promised to introduce him to the wonder that was the perfect grilled cheese. She'd chosen the cheese carefully--none of the cheap stuff. The Multigrain bread had been slathered in French onion butter. The grill was perfect: crisp and golden.

And there was a single, thickly chopped ghost pepper mixed in with the cheese.

It was a struggle to remain nonchalant, but Bella managed. It was a feat given that she was nearly giddy with glee as she watched him out of the corner of her eyes. Edward seemed distracted--his expression far away as he took a big bite. He chewed for one, two, three, four, five seconds. Then, his features contorted. His brow knitted and his mouth hung open. His hand went to his throat, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to throw up. He didn't. He pressed his lips together into a thin line. In another second, his face calmed back into its usual cool mask. He swallowed thickly. “That was unpleasant.”

Bella clapped her hand over her mouth to smother a giggle. She set her plate to the side and crumpled over, onto the bed, cackling. “That was unpleasant,” she mimicked and laughed harder. He was too adorable. 

It took a minute, but finally, her laughter had died down to titters. She wiped tears from her eyes. “You got over that so quickly.”

“My body isn't over it.” He licked his lips, his expression almost curious. “But I quelled the effects.” He looked at the sandwich in his hand and took another cautious bite. “How very strange. I wondered why you hadn't mentioned the pepper when you told me what was in it.”

Bella pushed up onto her elbows to stare at him. “You knew they were in there?”

“Of course. I smelled them.” He took another bite and turned the sandwich over in his hands.

“Oh, my God. Stop that. Stop eating it.”

He grinned at her, and took another, larger, bite. “Why serve me a meal you didn't want me to eat?” he asked around a mouthful of food.

She grimaced at the speck of deadly pepper that appeared on his lower lip. “I was curious if the hottest pepper on the planet would even faze you. Stop!”

He polished off the sandwich, his eyes on her all the while. “It's the seventh hottest pepper in the world,” he said.

In one of his too-quick movements, he was hovering over her, one hand splayed over her belly. “Are you experimenting on me, Bella?”

She found herself breathless, affected by his nearness, so her voice stuttered as she spoke. “Do you feel like an experiment? I only meant to tease you.”

Her breath stuttered. He'd begun to trace patterns along her sternum. It was difficult to concentrate. “I mean, I'm not going to lie. I was curious. I could have asked you, but that's boring compared to this.” She watched his fingers crawl up the curve of her breast. “And I knew it wasn't going to kill you.”

He chuckled and stroked the pads of his fingers along her throat, but this was much more fun, to be honest. And it’s not like you were going to die or anything.”

He straddled her and dipped down so they were nose to nose. “It occurs to me, Isabella, that you may be more wicked than I wish to believe.”

His breath fanned over her, heavy with the scent of cheese and spice, and she realized his intentions too late. She started to squeak out a “No!” that was swallowed by his lips. Her mouth was open when he kissed her, and so he could plunge his tongue into her mouth. Bella squealed and writhed beneath him, but she found herself thoroughly pinned in an instant. His hands formed manacles just below either wrist, holding her fast against the bed. He held her relatively still, using his body to keep her in place. She couldn’t shake her head away from the onslaught of his kisses.

The heat built right away. Bella had always been too chicken to try a ghost pepper. The burn was terrible, and she begged him to let her go, her words turning into a desperate hum against his inescapable kiss. She squirmed and tugged, trying to free her hands. His hold was painless but his hands may well have been manacles for all the effect she had.

Her mouth was on fire. 

After what seemed like decades--but had really only been less than ten seconds--Edward broke their kiss. Still, he held her helplessly pinioned, grinning down at her as she gasped in cool air. “What’s wrong?” he asked, the picture of innocence. “It’s not like you’re going to die.”

The spice had stolen the volume of her voice, spreading as it had to the back of her throat. “Help,” she wheezed.

He chuckled and leaned down again to kiss her. She yelped, but soon realized this kiss was different from the last. It was the ice that soothed the fire. This time, as his tongue lapped along hers, the burn of the pepper was instantly slaked. 

Bella sighed, sagging with relief. When he felt her go slack, Edward let go of her and cupped her cheek in his hand. She wrapped her arms around him and spread her legs so he was nestled more comfortably against her. 

Their kisses were tender at first, comforting as he licked the remnants of spice from her lips and tongue. Soon, though, as their natural movements created a delicious friction between them, Bella felt a very different heat consume her. 

So much had changed in the last week, since she’d almost lost her best friend and found out her boyfriend was a supernatural being. It was such a disconcerting thing to think about. She had fallen for him in his sweet simplicity, and now he was overbearing in his complexity. There was so much about him she couldn’t fathom, couldn’t really understand, not the least of which was his fascination with her. He’d watched humanity form, seen them crawl out of the seas and evolve. He’d watched civilizations form and crumble. And all of that was only on this planet. There were countless others. If she had to think about it for more than a few seconds, she couldn’t figure out why the hell he was so fascinated with her. 

She kept waiting for it all to become too much, for what she knew about him to change her feelings for him, but it never happened. Quite the contrary, with each passing day, she found herself more in awe. Not the reverent kind of awe. Not looking up at him as something greater than her, but with more depth of emotion.

She’d been in love with him before, and she was falling deeper all the time. She was in love with him, and one thing that hadn’t changed was how much she wanted to express it. 

No matter how often he assured her that hell didn’t exist, Bella still found herself wondering if she was headed there. Seducing a virginal angel sounded like a punishable offense afterall.

She broke their kiss with a giggle, curling into him as he rolled to the side.

“What is it?” he asked, stroking his fingertips down her face.

“Nothing terribly important.” She cupped his face in her hands and studied him. 

When she sat across from Carlisle not so many days ago, it had been almost easy to see he was something fantastically other. There was a light in his eyes that was otherworldly, a glow to his skin even. His presence filled the room. 

Yet even though Bella had seen Edward do fantastic things, when she looked in his eyes, all he she saw was the man--the being?--she loved. He was who he was, otherworldly only because she’d had no concept of other worlds before. 

Bella took a deep, steadying breath. She drew her fingertips down his face, his neck. Her touch was light, teasing. “I’m curious about something.”

He chuckled at this, but his breath stuttered as she tickled a sensitive spot she’d found along his collarbone. “You are a curious creature, Bella.”

She flushed. “Oh, give me a break. I thought your species was as real as unicorns a week ago.” Her brow crinkled. “Do unicorns exist?”

He chuckled again and kissed her lightly. “Not on this planet. I do know of several horse-like, horned creatures, but none of them fart rainbows.”

She giggled. This had to be some of the weirdest pillow talk anyone anywhere had ever had. 

Settling back to her task, Bella scooted in closer and tilted her head up to catch his lips. He was more than capable of taking the lead, as he’d shown time and again. He wasn’t inhibited by human embarrassment and insecurity. But he was just as willing to let her lead as he did now. Her kiss was slow, sensual. She traced the her fingers at his side, enjoying the tiny moan that vibrated at the back of his throat. 

“I was wondering if we could try something,” she said, her lips still against his. “In the name of science.”

“Hmm.” He kissed her once, twice. “Another experiment?”

“Yes, but I’m asking you about this one.” She kissed his lips, then the corner of his mouth. “And I think you’ll like it.” She kissed a line up his cheek and pressed her lips to his ear. “I’m really curious if you’re more sensitive here.” She pressed her palms against his shoulder blades. They were flat now. His wings were tucked into another dimension, but he knew what she was talking about. He shivered when she touched him. “Or here.” Bella let her hands trail down his sides, and then she reached between them to cup him between his legs.

His groan was much more audible then.

“Shhh.” She covered his mouth with hers, muffling the groan. “My roommates are home. Maybe you should take me somewhere. The meadow or--”

Before she could even finish the sentence, the room seemed to spin. She instinctively clutched him tighter, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his torso. Her head spun, and when she could open her eyes, she was startled to find herself upright. Well, Edward was standing--indeed in the meadow--and she was clinging to him for dear life. 

“I'm sorry, sweet girl.” He laid her down on a bed of blankets--where the hell had those come from?--on the forest floor. t floor. “As you can see, I can’t say that I mind the idea of being your lab rat.”

She crinkled her nose and sat up. “Don’t compare yourself to a rat when I’m trying to have sex with you, Edward. It spoils the mood.”

He tilted his head as he knelt before her. “You’re trying to have sex with me?”

“Shit.” She covered her face with her hands, blushing furiously. “Cat’s out of the bag, I guess.” She sighed and spread her legs, patting the blankets between them. “Come sit here.”

He started to crawl toward her. “With your back to me,” she clarified.

He raised an eyebrow. “I may be a virgin, Bella, but I’m quite sure that’s not how sex works. Not unless there’s some kind of apparatus involved.”

“Jesus Christ.” She laughed and shook her head, blushing harder. He wasn’t going to make this easy on her. “Would you just sit down? It’s called foreplay, for fuck’s sake. Obviously, you’ve been watching the wrong members of our species if you forgot about the foreplay part.”

“My mistake,” he said, his velvet voice low as he crawled the rest of the way to her. He sat as she instructed and leaned back against her, not putting any weight on her. “I shall defer to your superior knowledge, of course.”

Bella kissed his cheek. “Can I see your wings?” she whispered in his ear, her arms around his waist, not doing anything yet.

He shuddered and nodded. “Lean back a moment.”

Bella kept her eyes trained on his back, watching intently as he took off his shirt. She had yet to get used to the way his wings unfurled, and though he’d told her repeatedly that they didn’t sprout from his back, she was still half expecting them to. Instead, from one millisecond to the next, they were simply there. He stretched them out, but they appeared whole from one second to the next rather than growing outward from his body like a cat’s claw.

She pressed her palm to the naked skin between wings. “So weird,” she said under her breath. 

Shaking that off, she wrapped her arm around his waist again, pulling him back. He got the picture and scooted a bit so she could rest her head on his shoulder. His wings were soft against her chin and chest. She could feel them flex, move like any other muscles, as she teased the skin of his belly.

One more question answered right off the bat. She knew, of course, that his wings reacted when directly stimulated. She wanted to see if there was any reaction when she touched him elsewhere.

His wings stretched wide when she circled his nipples with her thumbs and then tickled her way down, teasing the waistline of his jeans. She tantalized him like this, letting her fingers explore, dipping lower, just inside his jeans, but not where she knew he must want her most. She hid a grin against his shoulder when his hips bucked up ever so slightly, and he swallowed a whine of want.

“I’m rethinking this idea of letting you lead,” he said, his voice husky as he tilted his head back, seeking her lips. “Tell me the truth, Bella. Is your actual aim to find out if an angel can go out of his mind?”

“You know, for someone who hasn’t done this in like a billion years, you’re awfully impatient now,” she said, kissing him soundly. She moved her hand to cup him full over his jeans. “Is this what you want?”

“Among other things,” he said, his words calm but his tone strangled.

“I have another question.” She unbuttoned his jeans and freed his cock from the confines of his underwear.

“What's that? Ungh.” He sucked in a breath as she began to stroke him. 

“What's angel stamina like?” She watched in fascination as his wings curled inwards then splayed outwards as she took his balls in her other hand. “I'd hate to have to bring you to the edge and back off. I don't want to have to wait for you to recover twice before I get mine. I'm getting antsy.”

He laughed and then moaned. “I can-- Oh!” He laughed again, this time shakily. “I can heal wounds not even skilled surgeons could fix. You think I don't have full control over the male sexual process?”

“You're fucking arrogant, you know that? I don't know if I like this side of you. Maybe I should make you beg. That'd take you down a peg or two.”

“Bella,” he said in a whine, bucking into her hand.

“That's more like it.”

When he came a few minutes later, his whole body jolted. His wings gave such a kickback, she ended up on her back with him falling heavily on top of her. “Oof.”

His weight was off her almost instantaneously. He rolled onto his belly, staring at her with worried eyes. “Bella, I'm sorry.”

She grinned, catching her breath, and wiped the remnants of his mess on the blankets. “You're fine.” She clambered to her knees, pushing him back down before he could get up. “Stay.”

“As you wish,” he said, his smile soft as he turned to head to look at her.

She kissed him once but then moved to straddle his back, settling between his ass and his wings. She started to run her fingers through the soft feathers, stroking in slow, even movements on either side. He began to moan again and to wiggle beneath her. 

“Ahh. This...this…” He couldn't continue as she'd twisted her fingers around and around a few particularly thick wings close to the place where they peeked out from his skin. 

“It's more intense, isn't it? Your wings, I mean.”

“Yes. Oh, god. Yes.” He’d begun to rut shamelessly against the blankets.

It was more than a little gratifying to reduce her angel to this writhing, rutting man. Poised as she was on his back, she rode with him through throes of ecstasy. She was breathless, so turned on watching him, hearing him. His hands stretched above him, twisting fistfuls of blanket between his fingers. His wings stretched taut, arced up. To her everlasting surprise, they arched backward, and she felt the tips of them on her head, like feathery fingers. 

Bizarre.

She was getting so horny, she almost started grinding against his back. Anything, any friction to relieve her increasing desire for release.

Edward must have known, or he must have been eager to exert his own power. Either way, the instant he came--his cry was loud enough to echo--he was on her. Bella hardly had time to process what had happened--that he had flipped her onto her back and poised himself over her--before he was kissing her senseless. Bella’s yelp of surprise turned into a whimper as his kiss consumed every one of her senses. The taste of him, his scent, the feel of him--impossibly soft feathers and warm, firm skin. He was all she knew.

“You want me?” he asked between fevered kisses.

It took her long moments to remember how to speak. “Yes. Now.”

Minutes passed as they kissed and touched. He pulled her upright only long enough to take off her shirt, her bra. When he pressed her back down, she slid his jeans over the curve of his ass, and he helped her pull them off. 

By then, the heat of the moment had turned from inferno to a steady smolder. Their kisses slowed, sweetened, and Bella opened her eyes to find him looking down on her with an expression that stole her breath. 

He cupped her cheek. “Bella.”

Something powerful rocked Bella then. It was an emotion bigger than she could contain, so big tears sprang to her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered. The words felt grossly inadequate, but they were all she had.

He kissed her--a mere brush of his lips against hers. “To the ends of the universe,” he said.

“I thought you said there was no end.”

“Exactly.” He kissed her again, and she could feel him hot and hard and ready for her.

She bucked her hips lightly up, as eager and ready as he was. She felt him shiver.

“I… I should not have brought you here,” Edward said, his voice shakier than she’d ever heard it. “I should be more mindful of your comfort. There are other places. Rooms. It would not be difficult to find a lavish room unattended and available. I--”

“Edward.” She put a finger to his lips to still the onslaught of words. “I’m fine, and this is perfect.”

He pressed his lips together, looking for a moment as though he was going to argue, but then he lined his body up with hers. He rested on his arms, his body brushing but not consuming her. “You’re sure?”

She had to smile, and she smoothed her fingers through his hair. “I’m sure if you are.” She gave him a wicked grin. “Do you know where everything goes?”

That brought his self-assured smile back. “It is a relatively simple concept. As old as the world. Instinctual.” He reached between them, spreading her lips apart as he pushed inside her. Not, she thought, because he figured he needed to, but because he wanted to feel their union. 

She shuddered both at the eroticism of the moment and the feel of him filling her. He moaned, tilting his forehead to rest against hers. “Oh goodness,” he said in a pant. “Oh, god.”

“You like that?” she asked, breathless herself. She spread her legs, whimpering as she accepted him deeper, and wrapped them around his back.

“Bella.” The word was raw. He thrust once, twice, three times, each movement hard and sure. She muffled a cry against his shoulder. “I… to feel you like this, your heat, your body. To feel your heartbeat outside.” He put a hand to her chest, over her heart. “And in.” He thrust particularly deep inside her.

“Oh god.”

“I can feel your soul,” he said, and she cried out.

It was better than dirty talk. 

He gathered her against him, kissing her as he pulled them upright. Bella arched her back, pleasure shooting through her as she wrapped herself tighter around him. His hands were cupped firmly at her ass and his wings… Christ, his wings were on her back. He was everywhere. She was consumed.

They climbed together. It was a feeling that bordered on the edge of terror. Surely, this was too strong. Surely, if she let this go on, she was going to literally explode. Her body would disintegrate. It wasn't possible she'd survive. 

But she trusted him. He was all around her and she was safe. Safe and loved and oh dear god, this was…

She screamed when she came. Her vision went white. The only awareness she had was the feel of him around her and inside her, the pulse of his body in time with hers, and his grip so tight, she would swear they were about to meld into one.

If Bella knew nothing else besides that one perfect instance of pure ecstasy, she would have believed she knew the entirety of the universe. She slumped against him, exhausted, boneless and sated. All her life, she had never belonged. This was why. This was where she fit and what she was meant for. She had always been meant for him, and he existed for her.

The world, the universe, incomprehensible all her life, made perfect, blissful sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Otherworldly sexin’ for the win. Our fair Bella has stolen the virtue of an angel.
> 
> Many thanks to songster, barburella, and MoH. 
> 
> How are we doing, ducks?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, duckies. Thank you so much for your patience. Let’s get to the update.

It had been a week since the shootout. Bella was vaguely aware of the situation as a whole. Edward had kept tabs, of course, but he didn’t tell her much. She didn’t ask. With James and Victoria still tangled deep, ignorance was bliss. 

No arrests had been made. Jasper had been the only one wounded at the scene. After he woke up, he had been relentlessly questioned. Peter, too, had had no small amount of trouble. There had been gunfire at the docks and no one would tell them why.

That, and someone else’s blood had been found at the scene. No one was talking about the unidentified person either. 

At the end of the day, there was no body and no missing persons report. Jasper had been shot, but he had no idea who’d shot him. Actually, he’d been hit by two different weapons. Neither shooter had been identified, and Jasper had collaborated his brother’s story. They knew it was bullshit, but they couldn’t prove otherwise. Peter was still pissy because he was on their radar now. 

Bella was only interested in all that so far as it concerned Jasper. She had accepted as best she could that she’d lost James, Victoria, and Laurent forever. She could try to accept that they would gladly see her dead, but she doubted that would ever happen. Jasper was still reachable, and she was going to hang on until the very last second.

He was with the doctors when she came to visit. Peter, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen.

“He had business to take care of,” Alice told Bella, her voice tight and her arms crossed over her chest.

Poor girl had been even more blindsided than Bella by everything. She’d known Jasper’s brother was troubled, but this was pushing it. It gave Bella some perspective. What was more jarring? Finding out your boyfriend was a superhuman, supernatural, otherworldly being, or finding out your boyfriend was involved with a scary, if entirely human, crime syndicate? Personally, Bella would choose the angel any day.

Bella hugged her. Not a lot of people would stick by Jasper the way she had--especially early on when Jasper was in a coma and no one knew what the hell had happened. When Jasper had chosen his brother, he’d chosen him not only over Bella, but over Alice as well, in a way. He’d chosen to involve her by default, because what happened to him affected her. Love was funny that way.

“I have to go put a few hours of work in,” Alice said.

“I can stay with him.”

Between the two of them, Jasper was rarely alone with Peter or otherwise. Neither of them had spoken the words out loud, but they were equally determined not to let any bad influences lure Jasper back to their side. He had a chance to get out now. He’d proven his loyalty, sticking to the story Peter fed him. Felix was scared of Bella. Well, he was scared of Edward.

Crime syndicate though it might be, Jasper wasn’t important. He could walk away. It wouldn’t be a smart idea to stay local, but that was what Bella wanted to talk to her brother about.

Her heart quickened as the doctors left Jasper’s room and Bella entered. 

“Hey, kid,” Bella said, keeping her tone lighthearted as she leaned in to kiss Jasper’s forehead. “How’s tricks?”

“The doctor wanted to take x-rays of my hands.”

Bella furrowed her brow. “What? What the hell is wrong with your hands?” She picked up his hand to examine it.

Jasper laughed--the sound closer to a giddy giggle than anything. “He thinks I might be Wolverine. You know. Super healing ability.”

“Christ, Jasper. You scared me.” Bella put down his hand. “Plus, that’s just ignorant. If you were Wolverine, you’d have just grunted the bullets out of her chest.”

Her voice wavered on the last word, and she had to duck her head.

Even though Carlisle had assured her Jasper would heal, it had still been frightening to hear the long laundry list of things wrong with him. Carlisle had ensured that his recovery would be quicker and complete, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t horrible to hear all the damage that had been wrought because of her.

“I’m okay, Bella,” Jasper said softly, touching her cheek. “Really. Doctor says I’m healing quicker than anyone he’s ever seen. Benefits of being young and healthy, I guess.”

Or the benefits of hanging around someone who’s being followed around by weirdo guardian angels, Bella thought but didn’t say. She just gave Jasper a watery smile. “So when are they springing you? Did they say?”

“Don't know yet.” He grimaced. “Honestly, at this point, if they could release me, they’d put me in the looney bin.”

“What? Why?” Bella’s stomach twisted even as she said the words. She had a feeling she already knew what he was going to say.

Jasper looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Bella… was Edward at the docks that day?”

This wasn’t going to end well, but Bella couldn’t see how it was right to make her best friend think he’d lost his mind. “Yes. He found out there was going to be trouble, and that I was going to be in the middle of it. He… ran with me. Away.”

“He ran?”

Bella nodded, keeping her eyes on the scratchy blanket of his bed.

“Bella?”

“What?”

“Edward isn’t a mutant, right?”

She laughed--a high-pitched giggle. “What? No,” she said, half-choking on the word. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I would swear I remember the whole thing at the docks clearly.” He swallowed hard. He didn't sound amused at all but haunted. “I could swear that he came swooping down from the sky with big, black, bulletproof wings.” He paused, staring up at the ceiling. “And that you both disappeared. Like in front of my eyes disappeared.“ Another pause. “I mean, you were right in the middle of everyone, Bella. And they were aiming at you. They were all aiming at you. All of them. There’s not even a scratch on you.”

It was the worst silence Bella had ever known. Her mind was blank. She wished wildly that she was one of those people who could make up brilliant lies on the spot. Hell, she’d had time to think about this. She’d even asked Edward about it to an extent. There was no way every person on that dock had failed to notice the avenging angel swooping down on them. There was no way they all missed the fact one second she was there, about to be riddled with bullets, the next she was nowhere to be found.

Edward had said the vast majority of them convinced themselves it hadn’t happened. They’d explained it away and then pushed the incident as far out of their minds as they could get it. This included Peter, who gave Edward a lot of space and distinctly tried not to look at him, but--despite how mouthy he always was--had not alluded to the fact he’d been there that day.

“He’s not a mutant,” she finally said, her voice quiet.

Jasper exhaled with a noisy gust. Then he groaned. With his injuries, breathing wasn’t pleasant as it was. Bella patted his arm.

Despite her nervousness--she hadn’t reacted well to this news after all--Bella was relieved. The idea she’d have someone else to talk to about all this made her eager. Sure, she had Rosalie. But Rosalie had been an angel. She inherently understood all Edward was and accepted it as a truth she’d known since she sprang into existence. It would be nice to have someone who could relate to what a roller coaster of fucked-upedness this was. 

Angels, man. Whoa.

So she blew out a breath and told him everything. What they were going to do about this mess he was in--they were in--could wait another day.

~0~

Bella left Jasper’s hospital room when Alice came back. She left a million times lighter than when she’d gone in.

He’d believed her. He was as blown away and floored as she was, but he believed her. Someone else knew.

“Bella.”

Despite the gentleness of the voice, a chill of dread went down Bella’s spine. Sure enough, she turned ever so slightly to see Carlisle had fallen into step beside her. 

There had been only two times Bella had ever seen fear in her angel’s eyes. Once was when she was bleeding to death in front of him, the other was when he was looking at this man. Angel. Whatever.

Still, he’d been very kind. He’d healed Jasper and answered all her thousand and one crazy questions. He hadn’t taken Edward. 

“Look, if you’re here to yell at me for telling Jasper, I really had no choice. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I--”

“That’s not what I’m here about.” 

She squinted, a blush tinting her cheeks. “How immoral is it to corrupt an angel?”

He smiled. “It’s not about that either. Well, at least not in the way you’re thinking,” he said, pressing a hand to her arm with a light pressure. “Can we go somewhere private to talk? Would you be comfortable with that?”

She wondered if she really had a choice and reminded herself again that Edward trusted Carlisle. He feared him, but he trusted him. “Sure, okay,” she said.

“Do you have some place in mind?” he asked, the picture of solicitousness.

This last week, Edward had told her he would take her anywhere she wanted to go. Intimidated by that, she’d started off naming the places they flew through in Aladdin when they flew through A Whole New World: Arabia, Forbidden City in Beijing, Zeus's Temple in Athens, The Sphinx in Egypt. He’d taken her to each place. They appeared each time in a private area where she had impossible views of some of the world’s wonders. They explored the cities--easy since Edward knew every language. 

So, distracted with worrying about what the hell he could possibly want with her and whether or not she should call Edward, Bella was flippant with her response to Carlisle. “I want to go to a private library. A big, gorgeous one like in Beauty and the Beast.”

Carlisle put his hand to the small of her back. In the space of a blink, mid-step, the world around Bella changed. She stumbled to a halt with a cry and spun around. Her knees gave out, and she fell backward, right into a monstrous, red velvet chair. She craned her head, looking around.

They were, indeed, in a library. A private library. A gorgeous one. With ladder just like in Beauty and the Beast.

“Fuck,” she said eloquently.

“Was this not what you had in mind?” Carlisle asked.

Bella snapped her head over to look at him and narrowed her eyes when she saw a telltale smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Edward had told her the man… being… whatever… had a weird sense of humor these days. Goddamned, tricky ass angels.

“Why didn’t you have to carry me?” she asked. 

“My powers do differ from Edward’s. He can move through parallel dimensions, but I can bend them. Slightly.”

Bella huffed, taking that in. When the hell had science fiction become her life? “Where are we? Whose house is this?”

“We’re in England, in a noble’s house. One hundred sixty-seventh in line for the throne. This was a gift from an indulgent father to his daughter who loves to read and who loved Beauty and the Beast.” His smile now was kind.“Do not worry. The family is vacationing. The house is empty. We will not be disturbed.”

She gave a small laugh. “You know, that could be very creepy if someone else said it.”

He tilted his head, reminding her so much of Edward as he looked on her. “You know I mean you no harm.”

Bella smiled, her nerves soothed somewhat. “Well, now that we’ve established what you’re not here for. What do you want?”

He took the seat opposite her on a comfy looking sofa. “Now that, my dear, is an interesting question. I believe what I'm doing right now is called meddling.”

Bella waited a moment. When he didn't clarify, she waved a hand. “Is it in your job description to be cryptic?”

He seemed amused. “You're an interesting human, Bella. I like you, and I'm sure by now you understand what an oddity that is to my kind. Like isn't something I had context for until relatively recently. You’re not the first human I’ve had a fondness for.” There was something wistful about his voice and faraway in his eyes as he spoke. “The first, well… she was incredible. There has been no one quite like her.”

Carlisle looked at Bella again. “I will make my point. Another thing angels have no real context for is finite time.”

“Time is precious to humans. Edward has said that before.”

“To say it and to know the impact of it are two very different things.” He looked off again, as though troubled. “It was strange to realize that I wanted something and stranger still to realize my time had run out. I could not have what I wanted. Time with this human while she still knew who I was. That possibility died along with her, and I didn’t take the chance.”

“That’s sad,” Bella said quietly. “I’m sorry for what you lost, but what does that have to do with me?”

He chuckled. “I suppose it really has to do with Edward. He hasn’t told you about the body he’s in.”

It wasn’t a question, but Bella still answered. “You mean that it’s the body of the guy he killed when he saved me?”

“No. He didn’t tell you that reanimated bodies only have what life the, err, original owner had left.” His eyes searched hers, and he said the next words slowly. “He has three weeks left in this body.”

For many long seconds, his words didn’t sink in. Bella stared at him, her mind blank. “What?” she said. The word came out as a broken, shaky whisper. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“You do. I can see that you do.”

She was quiet again. Devastated. What was she supposed to think first? The man she loved was dying. His body was dying. Ineffective, Edward had called their skin. Temporary. Prone to defect.

She gasped before she knew she was crying and wiped at her eyes to brush away tears. “Does he know?”

“He does. He has for quite a while now, though not all the time.”

Bella clenched her hands in fists. That bastard. Why hadn’t he told her? She needed to know how precious their time was. “I need to go to him. I need him now. He probably already knows I’m gone. What if he’s looking for me? We need all the time. Wait!”

She looked up at Carlisle, eyes wide as thoughts began to process again. “It’s just the body that dies. Can’t he get another body?” Edward’s face was beloved to her but not as much as himself.

“He could, but bodies with life still left in them are not the norm. It’s unusual that saving a human from a fixed death kills a human who also had a fixed death--a death they would miss. He could have a body built for him, but that takes time. You would likely be an old woman before he could make his way back to you.”

“I would wait,” Bella said, desperate.

“I believe you would,” Carlisle said, smiling at her. “However, there is one more thing you must know.”

Bella, still reeling from the news of impending loss--not again, not him--slumped forward. She covered her face with her hands, unable to stop her tears. “What? What now?” she asked, miserable, scared, and grief stricken.

“He can fall.”

She raised her head and stared at him.

“Rosalie fell, and that body became hers. That body’s timeline was reset, and as you are all humans without timelines, there are no guarantees. He might only get one day more than he would have.” Carlisle’s expression gentled. “Or he might get a lifetime.”

It was like being on a tilt-o-whirl that had gone berserk. She was being slammed against one wall only to be thrown to another. She wanted to scream his own words back in his face. She didn’t have a context for this, not for any of it. How could she be expected to wrap her--her tiny human brain--around everything that was happening?

She’d told Edward countless times this last week that she felt like he wasn’t quite real, couldn’t be real, like he would disappear. This was fitting. This was how her life played out over and over and over. She didn’t get permanence. She couldn’t love anything that wouldn’t be taken away, and she’d never loved anything in her life as much as she loved Edward.

Right then, she wanted more than anything to believe in a god, believe there was some higher power--higher than her angels--that could magically fix all of this. She’d never asked for anything, never believed anyone was listening, but she wanted to believe. 

Of course, life had taught her she didn’t get anything she didn’t find for herself. She’d made a life of being content with what she had and working hard to gain every inch of ground. She’d never asked for something she couldn’t reach herself. 

Asking an angel to fall for her, to give up his power, to be human, was way out of her range. It was complete insanity.

Was that why he hadn’t told her? He didn’t want her to think he would stay?

But no. She knew him better than that. She knew the way he looked at her. No. More likely, he had some reason he wouldn’t stay that was stupid and self-sacrificing. Which was why Carlisle had meddled.

Carlisle laughed, startling her.

She quirked an eyebrow. “You can hear what I’m thinking, can’t you?”

“That surprises you? Edward can read minds as well.”

She grimaced. “He said he can’t read mine.”

“That’s true.”

“But you can.” She didn’t like the thought.

“It was rude of me to listen in. I apologize. I won’t do it again. You have my word.”

Doing her best to keep her face straight, she started hurtling mental insults at him. His face remained passive. Of course, that didn’t mean much. It was well within his power to act.

Huffing, Bella returned to her chaotic thoughts, trying to figure her next move. “He’s going to be pissed you told me.”

“Yes.”

Bella rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t be scared of him.”

Carlisle’s chuckle was soft. “No. Not scared. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done it, but…”

“I’d say you were only human.” She sniffled and wiped the last of her tears away. “I don’t even know if I know what that is anymore.”

Carlisle got up and put a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. She let him.

“It’s heavy, man,” she said, her voice wavering again. “Three weeks until I lose him. Or if he falls, what he loses is too much. Ugh.” She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I hate that you told me, and I also love you for telling me.”

“I understand both and begrudge you neither.” Carlisle said. “I think we must both be content with the one certainty we have: This world will not end because I told you. Nor for any choice you make.”

“My world could end,” Bella said in a whisper.

“No. You are stronger than you think, Bella. Stronger than anyone should have to be, really. You’ll survive either way. I know that without a doubt.”

He might be an almost all-powerful being, but he was wrong. Even the thought of losing Edward was a pain unlike any she’d ever known. And hadn’t her whole life been one kind of pain after another?

“Take me back, please,” she said in a whisper. “To the hospital. I need a minute before I see him.”

“Of course,” Carlisle said.

In a blink, the fairytale library faded out, the hospital faded in, and Carlisle was just gone.

“Fucking angels,” Bella muttered, stumbling for the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Damn angels. Making life all complicated and shiz.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hehehe here’s me updating in class. *Weasley Twin cackle* Sorry, I’m rereading Harry Potter. Heh.

There was no reason Edward should feel so empty. He’d had only one goal, and he’d achieved it. Bella was aware now, and because she was aware, she was as safe as he could make her. He had won.

Felix had taken his strongly worded suggestion and told those above him in the organization that Bella had been handled. That was all they needed to hear to forget about her. Felix didn’t forget, of course, but his thoughts shifted. He thought about Bella, but only in conjunction with Edward. Now, Edward was the focus of his obsession.

He had convinced himself Edward had tricked him somehow. Night and day, he thought of how to find Edward.

Yet, Felix didn’t think of shaking Edward’s whereabouts out of Bella. No, Edward’s lesson had hit home for him. It mattered little what some insignificant human boy wanted to do to him. 

There was a plan in place. Rosalie had helped. Surprisingly, so had Emmett. “A new life, a new start with you,” he’d told Rosalie, more at peace with the idea than he had been in some months. The problem, he said, was that he had convinced himself a long time ago there was only one way his life could go, at least when it came to love. 

Permanence was a frightening thing to people who had known nothing but constant loss and change. 

Emmett put in for a transfer several states away. There was a lot of discussion, but in the end, they all agreed to move. All of them--Rosalie, Bella, and Jasper. A fresh start for all of them.

It was more than Edward could have hoped for when this all began, and so he had no right to his emptiness. Instead, he tried to concentrate on his last gift to Bella, frivolous though it might have been.

When she was a lonely little girl, Edward had whispered in the ear of a stray puppy and set him in Bella’s path. This was before she’d found Jasper and the rest. She had named him Jake. He was a shaggy, bratty thing, but she loved him. She loved him more than she’d loved anything in her entire life to that point. In the end, she’d lost Jake too. When she moved homes, she was unable to take him with her.

It was one more wrong he could right. Edward searched the globe until he found the right dog. Another puppy who looked like the little dog she’d had so long ago. He was loyal and mischievous. Edward snatched him up from an over-crowded pound in Texas. Bella would like that, he thought. The idea she could save this sweet, innocent little thing from most certain death and give him a loving, happy home.

To that end, he showed up early to Rosalie’s house, squirming dog in his hands, to beg one more favor of her.

Rosalie was moody with him as of late. “Of course I’ll keep the dog here for now, but I’m doing this because I like her. You.” She shook a finger in his face. “You piss me off.”

Edward furrowed his brow at his sister. “Why?”

“You know why,” she said, and walked away in a huff. Edward stared after her, adding more proof to his growing theory that living amongst humans made angels quite mad.

Bella arrived ten minutes later. The dog raced around her immediately, yapping and jumping; his tail wagging merrily. Edward grinned, his chest growing warm as he watched Bella’s face light up. She dropped to her knees and began to pet the dog, cooing at it. “Oh, my goodness. Look at you. You’re not ferocious at all. Don’t you know how to dog? You’re supposed to protect your territory.” She laughed as the little dog wiggled in her arms, licking her face. “I have to tell you, licking people to death isn’t actually a thing.”

Edward cleared his throat, bringing her attention back to him. “Incidentally, I’m not sure that you gauge how well he protects his territory by this demonstration. He’s for you, so it’s better, I think, that he not growl at you.”

Bella kept running her fingers over the dog’s back as she looked up at Edward. Her happy expression had fallen into one he couldn’t read. He wasn’t at all sure it was pleased. She looked down at the dog again, smiled, and cuddled it close to her as she got to her feet. She stood up straight, head held high as she locked her gaze with his again. “So, this is what’s supposed to replace you once you’re gone?”

A chill went down Edward’s spine, and he sucked in a sharp breath. There wasn’t much that could shock an angel. Trust Bella to find a way. 

She was staring at him, and now he could see the hurt in her eyes. Hurt and anger. He felt a lump rise to his throat, and he swallowed hard around the guilt. “I… how did…” He had no idea where to start.

“Carlisle told me.”

This brought his head up. Yet another shock. “Carlisle?” 

“Yes.” She set the wiggling dog at her feet and crossed her arms. “At least someone thought I was worth talking to.”

Edward clenched his fists at his sides and looked down again, trying to find the right words. He was so discombobulated, he wasn’t sure he could find the right language just then.

“Were you just going to disappear one day without a word?” Her voice trembled then; a crack in her otherwise cool demeanor.

It was more than enough to focus Edward’s thoughts. He closed the distance between them and put his hands to her shoulders. His heart ached when she flinched, but she didn’t pull away from him. “That was not my intention. I thought…” He sighed, cupping his hand to fit the line of her face. “I’m not sure. I simply hadn’t decided what to tell you.” He sighed again, his voice dropping. “Or when.”

Her eyes searched his a moment before she turned, breaking his hold. He thought he saw her eyes fill with tears before she looked away. She paced a few steps away, pressing a hand to her mouth. She shook her head before she turned back, her body facing him though she kept her eyes on the floor. “You know… for future reference…” She breathed in through her nose. “I know human emotions are different than whatever it is you feel. I know you…” She swallowed. “I know you care about me, but the way I care about you…” She huffed and shook her head, angrily this time. “Look, you’re going to live forever. You might fall for another human someday. Who the fuck knows. You should just know, this kind of shit is devastating.” Her voice cracked on the last word, but she kept trucking. “It’s going to be hard enough. Impossible. It would have been a million times worse if you just disappeared.”

Edward stepped forward, shaking his head vehemently. He took her by her shoulders. “No. Your hold on me is permanent and unbreakable. Permanency for an angel is absolute, Bella.” He ducked his head, catching her eyes. “Don’t you understand? All of my life, all of time, I will ache to feel you in my arms again.” His heart twisted, and his knees almost buckled. He was surprised to find his fingers were trembling as he ran the pad of his thumb over her cheeks, her lips. “I will burn for you for all of time.”

She whimpered and then collapsed forward, into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose in her hair. He breathed her in. Despair clawed at him. The idea of a forever without her was impossible to fathom. He closed his eyes, rocking with her as he tried to breathe around the heaviness of his breaking heart. 

“Do you…” Bella turned her head, pressing her nose against his neck. 

“Do I what?” he asked, running his hand up and down her back. 

She shook her head, slipping out of his hold. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Nevermind. It’s a stupid question.”

“I highly doubt that.” He reached out, stroking her cheek. “Just ask.”

She sniffed. “Did you even think of… falling?”

Edward huffed. “My mind is capable of many lines of thought at once. I think about falling every minute of every day.” He brushed her hair back gently. “To stay by your side? To be able to touch you and to feel your touch?” He smiled at her sadly. “Yes, I think about it.”

“But it’s so much to give up,” she whispered. “I understand that. All your powers. All the things you know.” She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. “I wouldn’t give them up to be weak and human either.”

“Bella.” He pressed the tips of his fingers gently under her chin, pointing her head up. “If this was just about me, what I wanted and needed, I would have fallen the moment I realized I loved you.” He tilted his head, stroking her cheek thoughtfully. “It’s like flying, you know? Love. That’s what it feels like.”

Wrapping her hand around his wrist, she smiled at him. Her eyes were still watery, but some happiness had seeped through too. She took a shaky breath. “What do you mean if it was only about you and what you want? Who else would it be about?”

Edward gave a small laugh. As though his entire life hadn’t been about her since she was a baby. “As a human, I would be unable to protect you.”

To his surprise, she started to laugh. She laughed so loudly, she clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. He stared at her, perplexed.

“Is that all?” she said, getting control of herself. 

“Your safety is everything to me.”

Her smile was gentle. She took his hand and led him to the couch. The dog followed them, looking curious. He settled on the floor nearby, uncharacteristically still--as though he’d read the atmosphere of the room. Edward and Bella sat, and she took one of his hands in both of hers. “I’m as safe as anyone else.”

He chuffed. “Says the one not forced to watch you live your life. Do you realize how often you’ve thrown yourself headlong into danger?”

She furrowed her brow. “When have I…” She shook her head. “We’ll come back to that later. I have a good argument in my head, and I don’t want to lose it.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah.” She looked down at his hands and played with his fingers as she spoke. “Do you know why Jasper finally agreed to go away with us? To leave his brother?”

“Why?”

“Because he’s fallen in love with Alice. And she’s in love with him. She loves him so much, she’s willing to transfer schools if he agrees to leave.” Bella sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “She talks to him about the life they’ll have together, and after she talked to him, he realized he couldn’t have that life if he lets his brother dictate his life. If he gets more involved with those assholes, and he will, he knows that, then he knows he can’t give Alice any kind of happiness.”

“I see.” Edward paused, turning all this over in his mind. Despite his many avenues of thought, he could not reach a conclusion. “I’m unsure how this is a good argument for what we were discussing.”

She chuckled and turned her head to press a fluttery kiss to his neck. “There’s more than one way to keep someone safe.” Lifting her head, she moved so she was kneeling on the couch, facing him. “And it’s not just about the physical stuff, right? I know you can protect me from bullets and things like that. Which is useful when I wander into the middle of a crime in progress, but I feel like that’s not going to be a frequent problem.”

Edward rolled his eyes, but he did so with gentle humor. “I’m not sure I can agree with you there.” He sighed, resting his hand lightly on her knee. “You are so good, Bella. You’ve always had a need to help innocent, helpless things.” He grimaced. “I should know. I used it against you once upon a time. The trouble with you is you protect others with absolutely no regard to your own safety.”

She stared down, watching the idle patterns he traced along her leg. “That’s kind of what I’m trying to say.” She frowned, thinking a moment. “I don’t know, man. I didn’t grow up knowing anyone was looking out for me. When you grow up in the system, you kind of get the idea anything could happen to you, and no one would cry. No one would even care. And it’s not about self-esteem. It’s just reality. All my life, there was no real reason to stop and think about whatever I was about to do.” She looked up, her eyes wide and vulnerable. “But it’s different when you have someone to think about.”

“You had your friends,” Edward said quietly. 

“Edward.” Bella grinned at him and shook her head slowly. “That’s the whole reason you came down here in the first place, isn’t it? My friends were getting into trouble, and you knew I’d follow them to try to pull them out of the fire.”

“That is a fair point.”

Bella moved to straddle him then, wrapping her arms around his neck as she looked down on him. “Besides that, safety isn’t just keeping me out of harm’s way or giving me a reason to think before I act because I’d be thinking about more than just myself.” Her fingers scratched through his hair, massaging his scalp. “It’s also about other things.” 

Though arguments and reasoning still rang sharp and clear in his head, a deep peace had begun to settle over Edward. He pressed his hands to the small of Bella’s back and then slipped them under her shirt, wanting to feel her skin under his palms. “Like what?”

“I think safety is a feeling. You know, there’s not much in my life that’s truly been mine. Borrowed homes. Borrowed parents. I was always someone’s responsibility--not loved or cherished or adored.” She brushed the tip of his nose with hers. “You’ve made me feel all those things. Whatever’s between us is mine. Ours.” She swallowed hard, her words becoming thick with emotion. “Thinking about losing that, about you not being there… it makes me feel cold and empty. Alone. That’s not safe, is it?”

“No,” he whispered. “But I couldn’t promise you forever. Humans are so fragile. I couldn’t promise not to leave you alone.”

She wrapped her arms around him tighter, trembling in his arms. “And being an angel doesn’t guarantee you’ll keep me safe. I know that. You know that.”

This time, it was his arms that tightened around her. He was well aware of that. What had Carlisle said when this had all started? You were always meant to fail at this, Edward.

But then, Carlisle had also been the one to tell Bella what Edward had been unable to tell her. Why? Was it possible he wanted this for Edward? Bella’s life was finite as all humans’ were. If he was always meant to lose her, wasn’t it far better to live with her for the blink of an eye rather than watch her from a distance for the space of a heartbeat of his limitless existence?

“You can’t make promises either way,” Bella said, whispering against his ear. “Life’s a bitch, and you know better than anyone the kind of bullshit it’s thrown at me so far. But that’s kind of the point of all this stuff, right?” She pulled back a bit so he could see the teasing smile on her face. “Scientifically speaking. Evolution and all that. The reason we started forming romantic relationships is kind of a biological buddy system. You have a partner, and you have someone to back you up. Support you. Encourage you.” She pressed her lips gently to his. “To love you.”

Oh, he did so much love this little human. He sighed, and he trembled with the thought that hit him next.

“What?” she asked.

He kissed her--a gentle motion that matched her kiss of moments before. “We would forget each other, you know.” He closed his eyes briefly. The pain of that, the idea she would slip out of his memory with his rebirth, was almost as unfathomable as leaving her. “After death, when we’re reborn, we would both forget.”

Bella was quiet at this. They were both quiet for a long minute, but then she looked at him and smiled. “Edward, how many times have you told me I’ve changed the way you thought the universe worked?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think it’s possible to forget you,” Bella said, kissing him again. “I think I won’t. And I think you won’t.” And again. “But I can’t prove it to you yet.” And again. “You’d have to stick around to find out.”

He caught her face in between his hands and kissed her, this one none too gentle. There were many voices in his head telling him this was insanity. He was an angel and most useful to her as such. There were all the reasons he’d thought of that this was a bad idea--humans changed all the time. If he were to fall for her, she would stay with him, even if she was unhappy. There were so many possible reasons that this was a bad, bad, bad idea.

Despite all that, hope and joy were welling in him. He hadn’t let himself think about this, but now he couldn’t deny it was what he wanted. A human life, finite though it might be, with Bella? It was worth everything he would lose and then some.

“I know I don’t have a right to ask you this,” Bella said, panting between kisses. “But stay. Please stay with me.”

“I will,” he said, using his nose to urge her to tilt her head back so he could kiss her throat.

“You will?” Despite the fact she had just spent the last twenty minutes arguing with him about it, she sounded surprised.

“Yes.”

She gave an excited squeak before it was smothered between their lips. There was such happiness, such rightness to the air as they moved together, kissing in between breathless titters. “Why would you do that?” she asked, peppering kisses along his cheek and jaw. “Why the fuck would you do that for me?”

“Because you’re everything,” he said, catching her lips once more with his. “Bella, these last months with you have been better than all the rest of my existence. What is the term?” He murmured the next words right into her mouth. “It’s a no-brainer.”

She kissed him and then laughed, the sound as joyful as he felt. The dog hopped up onto the sofa with them, yipping, wanting in on all this good energy. He got up on his hind legs and licked Bella’s cheek even as Edward pressed a kiss to her other. 

“Hey!”

Edward pulled back to see Rosalie standing there, watching them with her hands on her hips. She was trying to look stern, but he saw the amusement threatening to tug up into a smile.

“This is my house,” she said. “If you’re going to be human, Edward, you’re going to have to learn a few things. Lesson number one, it’s fucking rude to dry hump your girlfriend or soulmate or what-the-fuck-ever on someone else’s couch. Lesson number two, get your mangy mutt off my furniture.”

“Ah,” Edward said. He set Bella on her feet as he stood up. “Thank you for the pointer. However, as I’m still an angel for the time being, I will solve this breach of etiquette another way.” With that, he picked Bella up, tossing her over one shoulder. She let out a delightful yelp. 

“Take care of my dog please. I owe you,” Bella said in the second before Edward took flight, whisking them both away from Rosalie’s house to find a place more suitable for all the things Edward intended to do to his human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Songster, MoH, Packy, and Barburella. 
> 
> How are we doing, kids?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I should be studying for this test I'm about to take, but apparently this is more important to me. Lol!

“Will you miss this? Bella asked. 

They were in some exotic location, somewhere balmy, where the warmth of the air seeped to the marrow of her bones. He’d taken her to a secret pool. The water was so clear, she could see the bottom even though the pool was deep. Now they were lounging in a bungalow, the doors open on a tropical scene.

“What, in particular, are you referring to?” Edward asked. He sighed, stifling a moan.

Bella smirked. He was on his stomach, his head cradled in his arms. She sat straddling his back, working her fingers through his feathers. “Wings. Flying. Being able to find secluded bungalows in countries I can’t pronounce.” She let her fingers find the base of his wings and stroked a finger along the bone. “This,” she said when he let out a soft cry.

He sat up, and they both shifted so they were facing each other. They were still tangled--legs overlapping so they could only be closer if they were having sex. It would always be incredible to her that a being such as he--capable of such unreal power--could be so very gentle when he touched her. 

“I won’t lie to you and say it’s a negligible loss.” His brows furrowed. “It’s most certainly not. I have been an angel for all of time. I don’t expect the transition will be easy.” He traced his fingers along her jaw. “I sometimes wish I could make you an angel. To live forever with you by my side. But even if I could, I think that would not work. Angels aren’t meant to be paired off. Coupling is a trait that comes with mortality.”

“In other words, we’d be the outcasts of the angelic world.”

He chuckled. “The concept of an outcast is also a thing linked to mortality, but then, there’s no point to coupling in the heavens.”

“I don’t know.” Bella reached back and combed her fingers through his wings again, enjoying the way his body bucked against hers. “If there’s no point to coupling, then why are your wings such an erogenous zone?”

Edward shuddered and fixed his gaze on her, his eyes lust-dark. “You have a dirty mind, Isabella. That wasn’t the kind of coupling I was referring to. Or, I suppose, that’s not the only thing I meant.”

He moved his hand to the small of her back, and reached the other hand between them. Still looking into her eyes, he began to stroke her clit--two fingers rubbing in a slow circle. “My wings are an erogenous zone on this human body. Now that I’ve had time to consider the matter, I doubt very much it would be the same in that other realm.”

Bella gasped, her fingernails digging into his shoulders as he guided himself inside her. “That’s a definite point for humanity.” She moaned at his first thrust. “Even without wings.”

Some time later, they lay tangled together--sated and lazy. Bella was draped over Edward. Their bodies were too hot, but she didn’t want to move. 

He put a finger to her forehead, and Bella gasped. Coolness fell like water over her skin from that spot all throughout her body. She opened her eyes, laughing at the satisfied look on Edward’s face as her body cooled to the perfect temperature. “This is why angels don’t have sex. How would you ever stop? There’s no such thing as an angel running out of stamina. You could just magic away all the mess.”

“Ah, see? There’s a reason for everything.” Keeping his arms firm around her, Edward rolled to the side so they rested with their head on the same pillow. “You ask me all the time if I’ll miss being an angel; if it’s too much to give up. What of you? Have you considered how different I’ll be as a human?”

“Human was how I fell for you in the first place.”

His eyes were troubled. “You fell for a carefully sculpted lie.” He touched her cheek. “And then, though I didn’t deserve your forgiveness, you fell in love with me. All of me. Magic laundry skills and all.”

Bella kissed the tip of his nose. “So why would you doubt I’d love the human you?”

He took her hand and pressed it to his mouth, kissing her palm. “Do you realize, love, how much you’ll have to help me? I have no idea how to be human. I expect it’s harder than it looks.”

“Sometimes,” Bella said, her tone rueful. “And I have thought about that. A lot. I keep worrying you’re going to forget you’re mortal and try to do something without thinking, like trying to stop a car with your bare hands.”

He tilted her chin up. “Only if it’s going to hit you.”

Bella shuddered and flung her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. It wasn’t as though she had a right to argue. She would throw herself in front of a moving car if it meant she could save him, but the idea that anyone could feel that way about her was still absurd if she let herself think about it. 

“Tell me again why you have to vacate this body to keep this body,” she said to distract herself.

“Hmm. Angels can’t come to earth without a body. Some angels have had a body made for them for one reason or another, but human bodies must be grown, and so they were born to human mothers.”

“I can see why that was out of the question,” Bella said with a laugh.

“Yes. Another option is to find a body that has been vacated of its human soul and yet still has life left in it.” He grimaced. “This body was the obvious option. I was being punished for killing him before he could live out what years he was born to. I came down.”

“But, apparently, the original Edward Cullen only had less than a year left to live when you killed him,” Bella said. She’d understood the story the first time, but it was almost too incredible to wrap her head around. 

Edward nodded. “Yes. However, the body is just a vessel for the human soul. If I fall into this body--turn my angel essence into a human soul--the counter is reset. And, as I have no fixed point of fate, there’s no telling how much time I’ll have.” He ran a hand down his own chest, pressing his palm over his human heart. “It is a twenty-nine year old body. That much is fact. But I’ve made considerable improvements. This body is in perfect health. Good vision. Excellent teeth. Decent muscle mass. All the scars wiped away. I could regrow an appendix, but that would be showing off.”

Bella snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m trying to assure you there is every chance I will be with you…” He looked uncertain for a moment, brushing his thumb over her lip. “For as long as we both shall live.”

Bella’s heart sped at the words.

It was ridiculous to be so weirded out by those words. He was falling from heaven for her, for Chrissakes. And she would never let him do it, never want him to do it, if she didn’t love him. The forever type of love. The marriage and babies kind of love. She did want him until they were old and wrinkled. 

She kissed him because she couldn’t say the words yet. She couldn’t believe she could have something permanent. 

“It’s good to know,” she said, pleased when her voice came out normal. She rolled onto her back, propping her arms behind her head. “I can take care of you, you know. While you figure things out.”

He rolled as well, splaying a hand over her belly as he looked down on her. “I believe you would.” He drew his hand up between her breasts and stroked the underside of her chin. “You would break your back to provide for your useless ex-angel boyfriend, and what do you expect me to do?”

“The sex will be worth it,” Bella said, trying to keep her face straight.

He laughed and kissed her. “It’s not a bad plan, but I have a better one.”

“Are we still talking about money?”

“The sex is a given, I think,” he teased. “So yes, we’re talking about money. Haven’t you ever asked yourself how Rosalie has a home? She has a job, of course, but the job doesn’t come before home, car, clothes.”

Bella scoffed. “Edward, I have about a billion questions every minute when it comes to you and Rosalie.” She frowned, trying to put the pieces together on her own. She came up blank. “Okay, so she fell by herself. Before Emmett. Before everything, right?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, I can’t believe I never thought about it. How did she get a house? She just cruises on down here and gets a house?”

“Rosalie had time to plan, and she is exceedingly clever. She located all of the lost money in the world.”

Bella blinked. “What?”

“Exactly as I said. All the lost money. From ancient lost treasure to the random one dollar bills on gas station floors. It’s quite brilliant, because it’s not money that would be missed.”

Bella’s eyes all but bulged out of her head. “She has all the lost money?”

“No. She got enough to get what she needed--fake ID’s, a college degree, a good credit score.”

“And the down payment for a house,” Bella said, incredulous.

He chuckled. “Exactly.”

“So there’s money left.”

“Yes. There’s always lost money.”

Bella ruffled his hair. “You angels are damn useful.”

“See? You really will resent me in human form.” He pretended to pout.

Bella put her hand over his face and gave him a small push. “Come on, you dramatic asshole. We have a lot to do. I have to pack. Apparently, you have to go gather the small fortune on the floors of the world.”

~0~

Everything was set for a move to happen at the end of the semester. Jasper and Alice were both in school. Selling a house and finding a new one took time. 

“I think we should move the same weekend as Comic Con,” Bella said when they sat down to discuss it. “It would make the timing poetic.”

It became the date they were all shooting for. Plenty of time to do what needed to be done.

The one snag in the plan was Edward. He would run out of time well before the move. 

He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of giving up his powers when they were still in the same city as the people who’d wanted to hurt Bella. When pressed, though, he admitted he’d been keeping an eye on them. For the most part, they’d done their best to forget she existed--James, Victoria, and Laurent included.

“And Felix?” Bella asked.

Edward frowned. “You don’t have to worry about him,” he said, and refused to elaborate. 

Jacob, the dog, actually growled at him. Edward scowled. Lately, the two hadn’t gotten along, which Bella thought was hilarious given that she knew damn well Edward could talk to the beast. 

She climbed into his lap so she had his undivided attention. “You know, you’re going to have to work on the lying thing,”

His eyes turned guilty. He didn’t deny it.

“I get it. There are things you can see that I don’t need to worry about, because I never would have known about them if I didn’t have Mr. No Privacy with me.” She gave his nose a playful bop. “I know you know so much more than I do, understand things I’ll never be able to comprehend.” She smoothed his hair back, looking him in the eyes. “But we’re going to be equal soon. Technically. You’re going to have to learn to let me look out for you. We humans--we look out for ourselves and each other. Okay?”

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “I’ll try.”

~0~

“He’s going to ask you not to be there when he does it,” Rosalie said two days before the fall. “I wouldn’t listen to him.”

Bella wrung her hands. “You fell alone,” she said, putting two and two together.

Rosalie nodded. “It will be the most horrible thing you’ll witness in your life,” she said matter-of-factly. 

Bella had to sit down. Jake jumped up and put his head on her lap. She patted him shakily. 

“As it happened, it was difficult for me to remember where I was, even who I was,” Rosalie said in a faraway voice. “Even after it stopped, I thought my mind had broken. In fact, I find it miraculous that my mind didn’t crack.” She focused on Bella and smiled. “Or maybe it did. Perhaps that’s what keeps me so drawn to Emmett.”

Bella managed a weak smile. Rosalie sat beside her and took her hands, looking her in the eyes. “You’ll have to be the strong one, Bella. He will have no strength left for himself.”

“It’s painful,” Bella said. She thought she was going to throw up.

“A pain you cannot possibly comprehend.”

Bella shuddered. She closed her eyes, took several deep breaths, and then opened them again, calm. “Okay. Tell me.”

~0~

They rented a secluded cabin, a few miles away from the closest town. They didn’t stay there. Edward zapped them to a thousand places, gave her views all but impossible for mortals to see. He took her into Antarctica, into the depths of a glacier, keeping her warm as she pressed her hand to the perfect ice. They perched on the tip top of the highest pyramid. He showed her hidden waterfalls and trees so thick, she could walk across the top of their canopies. 

Back in the cabin, they made love. At first, they were quick. Bella couldn’t wrap herself tight enough around him. She moved against him with a kind of desperation, because she knew she was losing part of him tonight. She fucked him hard, because she didn’t want to think about what he was giving up, and how scared she was that she might not be worth it.

Then, they made love slow and easy. She kissed him, entering him as he entered her. She stroked his wings--Christ, she would miss their glorious softness and the way he whimpered when she touched him. She wished like hell he could stay. He could find another body. She would love him in another body.

But then, it wasn’t as though bodies with time left in them were just lying around in wait. He would have to be in his own realm to find one, possibly for years at a time. And then he could get stuck. There was no telling. No way to be sure.

Finally, they lay together quietly as the night wore on, simply clinging to each other. Edward took a deep breath, stifling a groan.

“It must be now,” he whispered in her ear. He looked at her. “Bella, I really don’t want you to see.”

“Too bad,” she said, staring back at him with ferocity. She stroked his face. “I know it’s not going to be pretty. If you’re going to do this, the least I can do is be with you. We’re in this together.”

He caught her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Okay,” he said simply. He took a deep breath. “I am glad you’re here.”

“Are you scared?”

“Yes,” he said with surprising honesty. “About a great many things. But I’m also sure.”

Edward pulled on a pair of soft pants, and they moved to the center of the cabin. Edward had already moved all the furniture to the furthest corners, so he had a blank open space. He knelt, and Bella knelt in front of him. 

The process was oddly simple. Edward bowed his head, as though in prayer. Bella knew he was mentally stepping into his own realm--making the choice to reject it. For ten long seconds, there was nothing but the silence of the forest and their soft breaths coming and going. Bella’s body was coiled tight, waiting. She hoped against hope the change would be peaceful for him. Maybe Rosalie had simply done it wrong.

There was no warning. One moment Edward was kneeling, his eyes closed, his posture serene. The next, he’d sucked in a breath, as though strangling a cry. He threw his shoulders back, his arms out, his hands clenched into fists. Bella could see the veins of his arms bulge--he was holding himself that tightly. 

Before she could react, he pitched forward. She only barely had time to skitter backward. His hard head missed hers by an inch. His face was screwed up in agony, but he hadn’t made much more than a squeak of sound.

“Edward?” she said, her voice cracking. She wanted to get near him, but his body jerked again, sending him sprawling onto his side.

His features arched back. He curled in on himself. He rolled half on his back with a long, low groan.

“Edward?” Bella was sobbing by then. She couldn’t get near him, couldn’t get her arms around him, couldn’t even touch him. His movements were simply too violent. “Edward, I’m here, okay?”

Rosalie had told her what was happening, though nothing could have prepared her for what it would actually look like. The human mind couldn’t hold all the knowledge Edward held in his head. It was being ripped out of him. He would remember with a human vagueness, but he would not be able to understand some of the things he’d seen--distant universes, planets, beings. The physics of traveling between dimensions. All that knowledge was being torn from his head.

Along with it, all his power was being drained. Angels worked on a much different energy than humans. While Edward’s human heart had pumped blood through his body, that wasn’t where he drew his power from. Likewise, his thought process didn’t come from his brain. As he was being torn apart, his essence was also being shoved into his human shell. 

Edward actually jerked onto his knees as though someone had run a hook through his stomach and pulled him up from the floor. He arched so far backward that the back of his head touched the ground. His mouth opened grotesquely wide in a silent scream.

“Edward, I’m sorry. I’m here. I’m so, so sorry. Edward, please.”

His eyes came open so wide, she could have sworn they were about to pop right out of his head. He pitched forward again, curling in on himself, huddled. Just as quickly he jerked up straight, his arms out wide, face screwed up except for his open mouth.

And then he started to scream out loud.

The agony in that noise wasn’t human. It wasn’t even animal. It was entirely supernatural and terrible. Bella crawled toward him, desperate to soothe him. She pulled up short, letting out a scream of her own as his wings sprang into being with a violence so strong, the wind of it actually pushed her back. They spread out, filling the room from one tip to the other, each feather standing out as though mimicking his anguish.

Bella let out another horrified shriek as the tips of both wings burst into flames. It wasn’t a normal fire. It was black tinged with gold--awing and beautiful and one of the most horrendous things Bella had ever seen in her life. It consumed the feathers, leaving behind a shell of bone as it went. Edward’s howl changed pitch to a long, low keen--a mournful sound that made Bella feel as though every sadness of the world had seized her heart. It burned--too slow and horribly hot. A weird heat--more energy than singeing. 

The fire reached the base of his wings, and as it went out, the macabre, skeletal outline of whatever was left disappeared with it. They banished from existence, and so did whatever force had wracked Edward’s body. He fell forward, crumpled onto the ground, heaving in breaths and sobbing quietly. On his back, where his wings had protruded, were two ghastly wounds. The skin wasn’t bleeding, and yet it looked raw and mangled--as though someone had ripped his wings from his back and cauterized the wound.

Sobbing, Bella crawled to him then. “Edward?” she whispered hoarsely. He didn’t respond. He remained collapsed on the floor, motionless but the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed and cried. 

Bella was almost afraid to touch him. She put her hand to his shoulder, careful not to touch his abused skin. When he didn’t pull away from her, she got her arms around him as best she could. She heaved, able to maneuver him onto his side just enough that she could cradle his head in her lap. She leaned over him then, putting her head against his, crying with him. She was shaking. His body gave a small spasm every now and again, but aside from that, he was unearthly still. 

“I’m here. I love you. I love you so much,” she whispered to him over and over again, stroking him with trembling fingers. 

It seemed to take eons, but eventually, his breathing slowed. His cries quieted. 

She was terrified it had broken his mind. Rosalie had said she would have to be the strong one. She’d wanted to hold him through the change, but how could she have? She hadn’t been strong enough. “Oh god, Edward. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He sniffled. “I’m not,” he said. His voice was screamed-sore and soft.

Bella gasped, sitting up. “Are you here. Are you here with me?” she asked, cupping his face in her hands.

Slowly, so slowly, he opened his eyes. He blinked up at her. He sniffled again and licked his lips. He raised his trembling hand to her face. “You look like an angel looking down on me,” he said.

Bella laughed, incredulous and relieved. She leaned down and kissed him. He was disgusting, but she didn’t care. She kissed him anyway. “I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you,” he whispered back. “More than anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yikes. How are we, kids?


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let’s check in and see how Edward is enjoying humanity, hum?

At first, Edward was sure something had gone wrong during the change. His all-human body didn’t work right. He couldn’t speak except in two or three word sentences. His mind was too muddled. When he tried to stand, his legs refused to hold him. He’d wobbled and crumpled back down to the floor. His moods swung wildly; he’d never been so scared and out of sorts.

Bella had been there, comforting and calming him. She stroked her fingers through his hair, holding him spooned against her. That was his first lesson about his brand new body and mind.

“It's called stress, you dimbulb,” Bella said, holding him when he shook again. “Our bodies react when our minds are overburdened. I don’t think you’re actually weak. I think you’re just overwhelmed.”

“I don't like it,” he'd growled out, his teeth gritted against the shivers that wracked his body. 

He gave in and let her wrap herself around him, let her rock him. It helped. When he calmed, he let her guide him to his feet and support his weight as he tried to pull himself together.

Bella led him to the bathroom. His breath caught when she began to undo the button of his jeans, and she smiled.

“Don’t worry. I’m not trying to jump you.” She slid his pants down into a puddle around his feet. “A hot shower is a perk of the whole humanity thing.” Making sure he was standing upright, she took a step back and started to remove her own clothes.

He watched her. How strange it was. His vision was so limited. All of his senses were more limited now. Yet, when he looked on her, he felt as though he saw and smelled too much. His fingers twitched at his sides. The feel of her fingers in his hair earlier had been his anchor to earth. That and her voice.

He followed her voice home. 

Her look almost shy, Bella twined their fingers together. The shower was already on. She tugged him with her into the shower. He hissed, flinching backward out of the too-hot spray. Bella smiled and held his hands tighter. “Give it a second.”

It was somewhat irritating. He could have dived to the bottom of a volcano as an angel. He could tell the water wasn't hot enough to scald. And, after a few seconds, Edward’s skin acclimated to the heat. He stepped forward under the spray and tilted his head up into the water.

“So?” Bella asked when he opened his eyes again. She was holding his hands.

The heat had enveloped him in rivulets. “That feels amazing.” His body was calm again. He could feel his strength. Not like before, but he was strong enough.

He cupped his hands around Bella’s elbows, bringing her close to him. She tilted her head up and kissed his chin. This had always been his favorite part of having her in his arms—the way she fit in his arms, tucked up against him. He liked that his body was hyper-aware of the lines of hers. He shivered. The delightful kind of shivers. 

Bella reached past him and poured a dollop of shampoo onto her palm. Her eyes were amused and warm as she began to massage it into his scalp. He sighed, content. “That feels amazing too.”

It was another odd thing to consider—how much maintenance the human body took. To keep it cleaned and groomed. To soothe and calm it when he got anxious. To sleep to replenish his energy.

“Do your…” Bella gulped. “Does your back hurt?”

Edward didn’t understand what she was talking about until her fingers brushed gingerly along his shoulder blades. He rolled his shoulders. “Is there a mark?” he asked, more curious than anything.

“Yeah. It looks horrible and painful.”

“I feel...off balance without them. Awkward. But no, it doesn’t hurt. Rosalie mentioned it leaves an impression for a time.” He reached his own hand back. It did hurt, but he knew the ache was that of loss, not physical pain. 

Bella rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled and squeezed her. “Again—I’m not.”

When all the soap had washed away, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up against him again. He dipped his head to kiss her, liking the taste of her mouth with the taste of the hot water. He cupped her ass, deepening the kiss.

Bella laughed into his mouth and pushed back a bit. “Ah, shower sex takes a lot more dexterity than you’d think.”

He huffed. “I’m still more dexterous than the last...or, I suppose, first, hour of my life would lead you to believe.” He kissed her, long and slow. “Though it would probably be more prudent to wait to test that theory.”

His stomach chose that moment to grumble, making a long, low growl of protest. It had been doing odd things for some time now. 

Bella giggled. “Oh, honey. Come on. Let’s feed you.”

“Oh, food.” Another necessity. 

Edward stood obediently still, letting her wrap him in a soft robe and towel his hair dry. Then she took him by the hand again. He thought he probably should protest being led around like a dog or a small child, but he found he liked the closeness. 

He watched Bella move around the condo’s small kitchen. It made him happy to watch her. His thoughts were fuzzy. Was his mind trying to work on all the levels it had before? Or was he simply overwhelmed? It was difficult to tell. Strange to feel so many things at once. Now that he understood the cloying feeling in his stomach, he knew he was hungry. When Bella set a glass of water, he identified thirst. He was muddled and simply off somehow.

When Bella brushed by him on the way to the fridge, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down onto his lap. He kissed her neck, breathing in her clean scent. “I love you,” he said.

What he felt for her was bigger than anything else he felt.

~0~

“What’s the worst part about being human?”

Edward opened his eyes slowly, blinking. He felt a rush of annoyance, but he was beginning to get used to the fact his vision didn’t adjust automatically. His sight worked well enough. He could see her in the darkness. More importantly, he could feel the softness of her skin beneath his fingertips, could feel the heat of her body against his. 

“It’s only been what? Eight hours?” He pressed a lazy kiss to her mouth.

As his lips moved with hers, he thought over her question. He thought of the the lethargy of his body. That was frustrating when he thought of it. He didn’t want to stop kissing Bella, yet exhaustion tugged at the edge of his consciousness. Gladly, he would have followed it under. 

“The worst part of being human? Hmmm.” He kissed along her neck to her chin, tasting the salty flavor of her skin. “I don’t care for going to the bathroom.”

She snorted and laughed, caught off guard. She rolled over, draping her nude body over his, leaning into his kiss. “And the best part?” she asked against his mouth.

“That is—” he spoke between kisses, “—a most unfair question to ask me while I’m still basking in a post-coital glow.”

She snorted again. “You haven’t lost your way with words.”

Summoning all his energy, he rolled them to the side and pushed her legs open with his. Tired though he was, he found it took little to stir him again. He gathered her close, rocking his hips, teasing her entrance as his cock slid along the slick folds. He caught her gasp with his lips and kissed her long and languidly. 

“You are and always will be the best part of my existence, angelic or otherwise,” he said, looking into her eyes. 

They made love slowly, their hips rolling in an easy rhythm. Climax wasn’t the goal. Sleep was going to win sooner than later—it must always be so with humans. What better way to fall than with Bella wrapped around him, surrounding him?

~0~

“How did you do this alone?” Edward asked Rosalie. It had been five days since his fall. There were so many things that frustrated him. “I don’t regret it. I can’t.” He smiled as he looked to where Bella and Jasper were in the kitchen, chatting as they made dinner. “But it’s not easy. Not even with all of you here. You didn’t even have Emmett—just the idea of him.”

“The idea was enough,” Rosalie said. “We were made with limitless patience, Edward. We’ve spent thousands of years on end in one place, set to one task. What’s that to days, weeks, or even a few months of struggle acclimating to being human?”

“That’s different. There was no struggle when we were angels. Obeying orders is what we were born to, and what is time to immortal beings?”

“We’re still immortal beings. It’s simply that the rules that dictate our lives have changed. Our essence is held by impermanent bodies.” She looked at him and smiled. “That’s why I fell in the first place. It was change I wanted.” She tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen. “As a human, Jasper doesn’t understand our choice. He sees the power we gave up, the ability to see and do incredible things. But answer me this, Edward. You’ve seen incredible things on this planet and so many others. Before Bella, did you ever wonder at them?”

“No,” Edward said instantly. “They were what they were.” There was no such thing as awe to an angel. “I think, seeing some of those things with Bella, I felt the enormity of the universe. I watched it on her face and knew what it was to be moved by something that was, to me, only natural. The status quo.”

Rosalie nodded. “Exactly. What I wanted was the ability to change. Humans may be whom they like. They are free to question orders, to question existence and fate. You and I were both punished for taking fate into our own hands, and for what? Even angels in the upper echelons don’t claim to know why. Why some points are fixed. Why it was our destiny to fulfil orders from an invisible higher power. I wanted none of it.” She shrugged. “So I couldn’t very well complain at how difficult it was to lose what I wanted so desperately to be rid of. I miss my wings and my abilities, but choice comes at a price. That’s what being human is.”

“Agreed, and all that being said, I greatly admire your strength.”

Rosalie flashed him a grin. “All humans need a hero to look up to, after all.”

~0~

It had been five weeks since his fall, and human life was getting easier. Well, as easy as human life ever could be.

“I’m beginning to understand just how cruelly the human body was made,” Edward said. He sat at the table in Rosalie’s kitchen again, surveying the contents of several small bowls Bella had set in front of him. 

Bella, both endlessly curious and wanting to help him discover the unique features of his own body, had taken to introducing him to as many foods as possible. She arched an eyebrow as she looked back at him. “What do you mean cruelly?”

“Well, these are delicious.” Edward picked up a carrot and took a bite. He liked the satisfying crunch and savored the taste of it as he chewed. He swallowed. “But the flavor is enhanced greatly by this.” He dipped the carrot in Ranch dressing and took another bite. “Mmm. And yet this…” He picked up a fork and used the side to cut through a slice of the decadent cheesecake she’d made for him. She called it simple—just cheesecake with a strawberry glaze on top. He put the bite in his mouth and moaned as the flavor soaked into his tongue. “I would gladly eat only this for the rest of my life.”

When he looked at her, he saw that her eyes were dark with lust. A thumb played at her tongue. She looked as though it was him she wanted to devour. Her voice was throaty when she spoke. “I don’t get where the cruelty comes in.”

“Well, what I want to do is just eat and eat and eat all these delicious things. However, I’m well aware the human body only needs so much food for fuel. Do you know how much exercise I’d have to put in to keep me looking so hot if I ate the entire dish? Who the hell thought taste buds were a good idea; that’s what I’d like to know. And if you’re going to burden me with taste buds, why can’t a carrot—without the Ranch dressing—taste like a bite of cheesecake and cheesecake taste like a raw onion.” Thus far, Edward had enjoyed most foods. Raw onions were among the few exceptions. He was actually a little pissed off that something as vile as a raw onion existed. 

Bella cackled, shaking her head. She got up and settled on his lap, looping one arm around his neck. She took the fork from him and, her eyes steady on his, took another bite of cheesecake. “The trick with food like cheesecake is to share,” she said and kissed him.

“Mmmm,” he rumbled into her mouth, licking the taste from her tongue. 

“And I can think of a few good workouts you might enjoy.”

Edward groaned, feeling his cock twitch. He knew exactly what kind of workouts he would enjoy with Bella. He groaned again. “Not ones we can, er, practice in Rosalie’s kitchen.”

She sighed. “Damn.”

“Agreed.”

~0~

If Edward didn’t know better, he’d have believed it was fate. 

It was a flat tire of all things. A flat tire forced Edward and Bella to pull over when they happened to be driving through the wrong neighborhood. It wasn’t that the area seemed so dangerous. It wasn’t. It was an industrial area, mostly devoid of people on an early Saturday evening. 

What was dangerous about the neighborhood were the people occupying a small warehouse a block or so from where Edward and Bella pulled over.

It was raining. Of course it was. Both Edward and Bella were drenched to the bone, struggling first to find the jack that was supposed to be in the car.

“Fuck it. I’m calling Emmett. He has AAA,” Bella said. 

They got back in the car, but when Emmett asked for an address, they both got out of the car again to find a street sign and a number on one of the buildings. 

“You should wait in the car,” Edward said, shivering because the jacket he wore was no match for the cold rain.

Bella shook her head. “I’m going to walk that way. You walk that way.” She pointed in opposite directions. “One of us will find a damn sign.”

He turned to do just that, hugging the side of the buildings to find some shelter from the rain. He craned his head, looking for a sign somewhere, even on the buildings, but saw none. What was most annoying was that he’d once had a map of almost every street in America easily accessible in his own mind. That would have been much preferable to getting soaked to the bone.

As he got to the corner, someone else was coming around it. Someone he recognized.

Felix.

They stared at each other, each uncomprehending for two long seconds. 

One of the things Edward didn’t miss as much as he thought he would was his ability to read minds. He found that he was good at reading faces. 

The instant their eyes met, Edward saw fear in Felix’s eyes. Just as quickly, the look changed to something else: pure and bitter hatred.

What Edward knew from the time he’d spent in Felix’s head was that he didn’t want to believe Edward was a supernatural being. He wanted to believe what Edward had done to him was no more than his imagination. It couldn’t have been real. Edward had to be human.

Right then, he looked the epitome of human—bedraggled and hunched against the rain. He could see the instant it registered in Felix’s eyes. Surely no superhuman being could be felled by something as simple as rain.

It happened all at once. Felix’s face twisted in a sneer. Edward saw him reach for something at his waistband at the same time he heard a scream. Bella. She screamed one word.

“No!”

She was a blur as she barreled past him, running at Felix. Edward lurched forward, screaming her name as he reached for her. He got a hold of her waist and pulled her back, away from Felix. 

A gunshot went off. Bella slammed back against him. All three of them ended up on the floor—Felix because Bella had grabbed his wrist, yanking him off balance. Edward and Bella because…

Because…

Edward’s body wasn’t working right again. He couldn’t get it to cooperate. He couldn’t get his mind to wrap around the images flashing before him. He saw Bella move. He processed raw horror—there was blood blooming in an ever-widening spot on her back. Still, somehow she moved faster than he could have imagined. She scrambled forward, grappling to get her hands on…

A gun. Felix’s gun. It had clattered to the ground between them. Felix scrambled for it too. Edward couldn’t get his body to move right. He wanted to move forward, but nothing was working. 

Bella got to the gun first. She screamed—Felix towered over her, about to engulf her with his massive body. Another shot sounded.

Felix fell on top of her, a crushing, dead weight.

And when he couldn’t move, couldn’t even scream her name, that was when Edward realized. He was hurt. He was bleeding. Blood was pouring out of him, draining his essence, his strength. He couldn’t get his body to work right because it was broken. The pain was incredible. So incredible, he hadn’t been able to process it—not on top of the horrific scene playing out before his eyes.

It had all taken maybe ten seconds to play out. Probably less.

Edward gasped, fighting for each breath. When had it gotten so difficult to breathe?

Felix moved.

No. Bella moved beneath him. She gasped, her head emerging from under the bulk of his body. She clawed the unforgiving pavement, reaching for Edward. So close and yet so far.

“Edward. Edward, please. Look at me.” She struggled, and he wanted to tell her to stop. He remembered the blood stain. He wanted to speak, but he couldn’t breathe. “Just keep looking at me. Edward. Edward, don’t close your eyes. Edward!”

Her frightened voice was the last thing he heard before darkness encroached.

It was three days from moving day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I will make updating this a priority.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hallo, ducks! I told you I wasn’t going to leave you hanging for long.

More than once in the last few months, Bella had wondered if she was actually unconscious somewhere. She wondered if she was in some kind of coma, and she had confused comic books and television with reality. Sure that was why she found herself in love with an angel. It even explained how someone as powerful and incredible as he was would choose to give up immortality for someone as insignificant as her. Probably Edward was a nice nurse who stopped to talk to her comatose body. It made more sense than believing any of this was true.

Great. So now that she’d decided this was all happening in her head, she could open her eyes to reality. Yeah, it would mean her angel wasn’t real, but it would also mean he hadn’t fallen to Earth only to die a horrible death not even six weeks later. 

It had been horrible. Trapped by Felix’s deadweight, it had taken forever for Bella to wriggle free as she watched Edward’s life spill out of him. Blood spread beneath him, the pool widening at a frightening rate while he stared at her, his expression bewildered and agonized all at once.

They were lucky; she knew that. They were lucky she had found the name of the street first and was on the phone with AAA, heading back in Edward’s direction, when she saw Felix. She was lucky the AAA operator had the sense to call 9-1-1 instead of a tow truck. It didn’t take the ambulance or the police long to get there.

Still, it haunted her that she hadn’t been able to wriggle free in time to get to him. He’d slipped into unconsciousness alone, frightened and in pain. 

That was where she was now—alone, frightened, and in pain. The pain she could deal with. What she couldn’t take was the isolation. She hated that she was stuck in this room. The nurses had threatened to strap her down if she didn’t calm down, though. After all, she’d been shot too. It looked like the bullet hadn’t hit anything more important than muscle, but they needed to be sure. Bella really couldn’t have cared less about the fact she’d been shot. If there was any justice in the world, the bullet would have stopped there. It should have been her stretched out on an operating table, bleeding out. Dying.

If he died, it would be her fault. 

Bella bit her lip savagely. He’d existed for eons—more time than she could comprehend. He’d existed through countless battles in the heavens only to be taken out by humanity and an asshole with a gun.

Closing her eyes, she spoke to anyone listening. Please. He was your brother once. Please help him.

When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t alone in the room. She yelped and then groaned at the pain that rocketed through her body. Carlisle was at her side in an instant, in a flash. The ache she felt, missing the angel she really wanted, was worse than anything.

As soon as he touched her shoulder, the physical pain was gone. Of course, the kindness only made her miss Edward worse. She clutched at Carlisle’s hands. “Tell me you’re here to help him. Please. You have to save him.”

“Calm, Bella. Calm.” As he spoke, an unnatural ease spread through her. 

Physically, she felt better. The action annoyed her, though. She shrugged him off. “I don’t care about me right now. I’m fine. Fine enough that I’m sitting upright and talking. I can’t possibly be worse off than Edward even if something was wrong, and it isn’t.”

“You’re right about that,” Carlisle said.

Bella was about to ask how he knew, but then she caught on. “Right. A pat of the shoulder and you probably know more about my body than I do. Fucking angels. Not only can you take the place of household appliances, now you’re moving on to major medical equipment. You know, if you want to help the human race out, why not just do that? Just set up shop somewhere and offer services from instant laundry to quick and accurate medical scans. I’d pay good money for that. A goddamn medical scan is what’s keeping me in this bed. I have to wait for test results. It’s such bullshit.”

She shook her head, impatient. “It doesn’t matter. No one will tell me what’s happening. I know he’s probably in surgery, but they won’t tell me anything besides the fact that he’s here in the hospital. I already fucking know that. I was in the same ambulance. But I’m not related or his wife, so they won’t talk to me. Have you seen him?”

Carlisle nodded.

“Tell me he’s going to live. Tell me he’s going to come out of this.” When he hesitated, she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Oh, no. No, no.”

“Hush, Bella. Be calm. The situation is critical. It’s not that he’s dying. I simply can’t give you a guarantee, that’s all. This I can tell you,” Carlisle said, his voice maddeningly calm. “Edward is human, but he can never be entirely human. There is a shred of angel left in him. I noticed the phenomenon in Rosalie these many years. She doesn’t get sick, at least not with common colds. The common cold is too weak to affect her system. When she’s hurt, she heals quicker than a normal human would. She hasn’t had cause to notice.”

“What are you saying?”

He looked at her, his expression solemn. “I’m saying his body is fighting to help him heal. More than a normal human would be capable of. He has every advantage, every chance of surviving.” He nodded at her. “Though none more vital than what you’ve already given him.”

She scoffed. “Christ, if you say a reason for living or love or—”

His smile was gentle. “No, although, you should not underestimate the power of those things. But I was talking about the physical advantage you gave him. The bullet hit you first. Thankfully, it hit you at just the right angle to not hit any organs. You’ve already saved his life, Bella. Given him more time than he would have had. If the bullet had hit him without first hitting you, the damage would have been beyond anyone to repair.”

Bella considered that but found herself shaking her head. “Carlisle.” She could hear the whine in her voice, but there was no help for that. “He has no fixed points, right? That means you can save him. You have to. Please. You have to. I...I...I get that you can’t just pop in there. But you looked like a doctor that first time we met. You could get in, couldn’t you? Fix him enough that he’ll live. Please. Please, I can’t lose him. Not like this. Not yet.”

“Shh.” He pressed a gentle but firm hand to her shoulder. “Your heart rate is elevated. You—”

“Of course it’s elevated!” Bella smacked her palm uselessly against the thin hospital blanket. “I can’t get a hold of Rosalie. I’m stuck in this room even though I’m fine. I’m fine.” Her voice cracked. Her lower lip trembled. “I’m fine, but he’s not. I tried to save him. I tried. But there was so much blood. I couldn’t help him.” She looked up at him, her vision blurred with tears. “It can’t end like this. It can’t be this way. You’re the only one who can help him.”

Carlisle looked back at her, his brilliant blue eyes bright with compassion, sorrow, and guilt.

Bella slumped. “But you won’t, will you?”

“Not won’t. I tried. I can’t help.”

That got Bella’s attention. “What? Why?”

Carlisle sat in the chair beside her bed. “That’s a good question, and another answer I know not.” He cocked his head. “Neither of you have fixed points. Technically speaking, I should be able to manipulate your lives without consequence.” He wasn’t really talking to her. He was processing out loud, his expression far away. “Perhaps it’s the fixed points you and he have destroyed.”

Bella blinked. Her nerves were so frayed. “I don’t understand.”

“This is all speculation, of course,” Carlisle said with a wave of his hand. “There was a clear consequence when Edward ignored the fixed point of your death and took the original Edward Cullen’s life. The fact you’re alive to affect the lives of others had negated or otherwise interfered with several fixed points to date.”

An uncomfortable feeling cloyed at the pit of Bella’s gut. “What does that mean? Whose fixed points have I interfered with?”

His expression was careful as he looked back to her. He put a hand over hers, calming her before he began. “The most obvious is Felix. He wasn’t supposed to die today.”

Bella blanched. “Oh. Oh, no. I killed him.” Her voice shook with horror. She’d been so wrapped up in Edward, she hadn’t even thought of Felix. Of course he was dead. His body had been so heavy—no life left to redistribute the weight. “Oh, god. I killed him. Please don’t tell me they’re punishing me by hurting Edward. It’s not his fault. I—”

Carlisle squeezed her hand, looking genuinely shocked. “Oh, Bella, no. No, this is not a punishment.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. This is my fault. I didn’t mean to upset you like this. It’s just that your and Edward’s situation is so very unique, I can’t help but be fascinated.”

“Fucking fantastic,” Bella said, clinging to her irritation because it was easier than fear. “I’m so glad our life is here for your entertainment.”

“Forgive me. I know this isn’t coming out right. It’s merely my musing. I’m sure Edward’s told you before, angels have no more answers than you do about the why of life, at whose whim this all was created, and why there is so much suffering to life. Is there some equalizing force to the world? Something that brings some kind of balance that is beyond all our comprehension?

“You exist. Edward exists. Your existence has changed the course of many lives. Is there a consequence to that? Not a punishment,” he said firmly. “I cannot see that it’s punishment. But perhaps some kind of cosmic cause and effect?”

“Like karma?”

His lip twitched. “As I understand the human context of karma, I’d have to say no.” He frowned. “You in particular have suffered much more than many humans, and at such a young age. What could you possibly have done to warrant such a life?”

“Lived when I wasn’t supposed to,” she said, her voice wavering again. She took a deep breath.

“That makes no sense either in the grand scheme of things. There are plenty of humans born who suffer tremendously. Tiny babies who are horrifically abused, and they have fixed points,” he said matter-of-factly, as though the idea didn’t bother him. It was simply truth. Fact. “No, I can’t believe it is some cosmic retribution. What’s happened to Edward happened, one way or another, because he is human. Human life has never been orderly or fair, so what time he’s had doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter for any other human, and he’s human now.

“Edward was lucky in that way. He chose this life knowing what I know. He chose this life knowing he could suffer great torment without any explanation. Angels, for what limited choice we have, are at least guaranteed the parameters of our existence. Humans are not, and he made that choice for himself. None of the rest of you got that choice—the choice to be born. And so, his life is as fragile as anyone’s. Either one of you could have been killed the very second of his fall—say a falling meteorite hit the exact spot you were standing on—and that wouldn’t have been a matter of fair or unfair. It’s simply life.”

Bella groaned and banged her head back against the pillow, welcoming the rush of pain it brought. “That’s not comforting.” She paused, trying to keep her voice steady. “But you’re powerless to help him.”

“So it would seem.”

“But not because he’s being punished or I’m being punished.” She swallowed hard. “Not because he caught some fixed points, and he’s doomed to die.”

“He has no fixed points, of that you can be sure.” He pushed her hair back from her face in a tender, fatherly motion. “Have faith in him, Bella. I can feel him from here. His essence is strong and vibrant. He’s fighting. The light hovers, but it has not come for him yet.”

“He’s not knocking on death’s door,” Bella translated.

“No.” Carlisle cocked his head. “And with that, I believe my time is up. Your doctor approaches.” He stood, his every movement filled with power and grace. His smile was like that of a god, benevolent as he looked down on her. He reached out, his hand hiding something he placed on the rolling table beside her bed. “A gift.”

Bella furrowed her brow, looking from his hand to his eyes. “For me?”

Carlisle smiled and winked. “No,” he said. “Suffice it to say, you two have broken more rules and challenged more immovable truths, than you could possibly imagine.”

With that, he was gone.

~0~

There were few odder sensations to an ex-angel than that of waking. Since the moment he came into being, Edward’s mind had worked on more levels than any human was capable of. He was instantly filled with the knowledge of every universe. In his existence as an angel, he’d never slept. He believed he would never get used to waking—being in that muddled state between sleep and consciousness. He didn’t like the lethargy of his brain, how his thoughts came in blocks of emotion and anoetic images rather than concrete words and ideas. 

Waking in the hospital was by far the worst way to wake.

The first time, he woke with a violent lurch. He could understand nothing except pain and chaos. There was something in his throat. His body wouldn’t cooperate. Pain racked him—an incredible pain that seeped at his energy, kept him on the edge of sanity.

It was like the fall, and for horrible moments that stretched on like decades, he thought for sure he was stuck. He thought the human concept of hell was real. What else could it be? Surely that was the perfect definition of hell—to fall again, and again, and again.

He heard voices, but they didn’t quite make sense to him. “Edward. Edward, I need you to calm down. I’m going to give you something for the pain. Just take deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep…”

He faded.

He wasn’t sure if he was awake again, but it didn’t matter. He heard her voice. Bella’s voice. Just like during the fall.

“I’m here, Edward. I need you.”

He clung to her voice. He woke. He saw the blurred outline of her face—of course he knew it was her—before he faded again.

He woke.

Tears pricked his eyes as he registered pain. It was a terrible pain but bearable. Not enough to bewilder him. He breathed and tried to work his way up through the muddle of his thoughts—so much worse than usual. One by one, he registered sensations beyond the pain.

There was something over his mouth. The air he was breathing in was cool and yet odd somehow. Mechanized. An oxygen mask. He vaguely remembered there had been a tube in his throat. It only felt like he couldn’t breathe, someone—a nurse?—had told him. He separated the pain and irritation of scratches inside his throat and tongued the sore inside his mouth from where the tube had been. He tried to move his hand. It was anchored.

“Edward?”

Anchored by Bella’s hand wrapped around his.

He struggled and opened his eyes.

“Oh God,” she said, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed his lips with the gentlest of pressures. “Don’t,” she said when he moved a bit, trying to raise his hand to touch her. “Don’t try to move. Don’t try to talk, okay?” She stroked his cheek. “You lost so much blood. And while I’ve been assured you’re making an almost super-human recovery, you’re still going to be weak for a while.”

He stared back at her, looking her over frantically as memories came back to him. Despite her admonition, he raised his hand enough to point at her. 

Her eyes went wide, almost guilty, then she gasped. “Oh!” She laughed. “Oh, yeah, of course. You mean, am I hurt?” She shrugged. “Bullet went through me clean. I’m fine.” There was a strange gleam in her eyes. “I’m more than fine, really.”

Bella leaned closer to him. “Believe me, you were the one who took all the damage.” She shuddered. “But you’re going to be fine, Edward. You’re going to recover.”

She talked a little longer, explaining his injuries and how long he’d been asleep. She told him Felix was dead. Then, she told him to close his eyes—he was so tired—and that she’d still be there when he woke up. He slept.

He woke.

The weakness was better. The oxygen mask remained. The pain was about the same. Edward flexed his fingers, satisfied to find his body was being more cooperative now. He opened his eyes.

The room was lit by the quiet light of an early morning. Bella was gone. He was both disappointed and relieved. He’d registered she was still in a hospital gown when last he’d opened his eyes. Hopefully, someone had made her lay down somewhere comfortable.

He scanned the room, trying to cast off the last of the cobwebs. He focused on the machines measuring his vital information. He noted each and every tube attached to him, grimacing when he recognized the catheter. That would teach him to complain about going to the bathroom. He blinked at the bags dripping liquid into his IV, trying to figure out what was in them and why he needed them.

Turning his head, he took in the small nightstand, and was bemused to find it covered in balloons and flowers. Get well soon.

Surreal.

He furrowed his brow and picked up an item that stood out amongst the rest. It was a plush toy but unlike any he had ever seen before. A cherub—the baby-like angel creatures of human mythos. The face and features were beatific. Edward stroked the pads of his fingers along the black feathers at its back. They were soft and warm. He gasped.

“I know, right?”

Edward turned his head, surprised to find Bella—dressed in her own clothes now—walking toward him. She winced slightly as she walked, but otherwise, she looked as she promised: just fine. She sat gingerly in the chair by his bedside and reached out to pick up the toy angel. “Her feathers feel just like yours did.”

There was something about her voice that drew his attention. He looked into her eyes. There was too much emotion there to read. He traced the pad of his thumb over her lips and smiled when she kissed him. “Where…” He cleared his throat. It was scratchy from ill use. “Where did it come from,” he whispered.

She met his eyes. “Carlisle.”

Edward tried to sit up and regretted it. He groaned. Bella was on her feet, pushing him back down again. “Crap. I’ll get the nurse. You—”

He grabbed her wrist and shook his head. “No. I’m fine.” He took a deep breath. “It’s only pain.”

“Only,” she grumbled, but she sat back down. 

Edward looked back to the cherub and realized why it seemed so different. There was an aura about the thing. It had been summoned, materialized from Carlisle’s own mind, not made. It was truly special. Edward couldn’t fathom why the higher angel would gift him with such a thing, and he said as much to Bella.

“It’s not for you.”

“Tell me,” he said.

“I don’t know how to,” she said, her voice surprisingly shaky. “Maybe it’s better if I show you.”

She placed something glossy in his hand. A strange, blurry picture, or rather, an image of something. He followed his brow, unsure of what he was looking at at first. Then his eyebrows shot up. 

It was a sonogram. With her name in the corner.

He was pretty sure his brain was broken. “How…”

“Hey, your grasp of biology is better than mine,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m nine weeks pregnant, so I guess it happened seven weeks ago, because pregnancy math is stupid.”

Seven weeks ago he was still a full-fledged angel. An angel and a human couldn’t reproduce. 

“I’ve been freaking out a bit. I have to tell you. I’ve read a lot of comic books about women who get pregnant by superheroes.” Another little laugh. “It’s a nerd topic, you know? Like Lois Lane supposedly gave birth to Superman’s kids in one comic. But how is that possible, right? Wouldn’t he have, like...super sperm? The sex alone should have killed her.”

He was finally able to tear his eyes away from the image in his hand to look at her again. Her eyes were wide, almost pleading. “The doctor seems to think everything is fine, though. Normal.” She paused a beat. “I guess if there were any wings in there, he’d have noticed, huh? Then again, it doesn't look human yet either. Kinda alien. Wouldn't that be a twist? Angel plus human equals alien.”

It was supposed to be impossible, and it was. He couldn’t get his mind around it. But looking at Bella, he understood. Of course. Everything about Bella and what she’d done to him was impossible. Yet here he was, an unchanging angel who had been irrevocably altered by a human girl. Why not this? An impossible child made of their impossible love.

Edward reached up and yanked at the oxygen mask.

“Don’t do that,” Bella said, trying to put it back. “Edward…”

“I’m fine,” he said, finally succeeding in getting the mask down. “Come here.”

He cupped his hand around the back of her head, bringing her down to him. He kissed her once. Twice. A third time. “I don’t know how this happened, but it’s a good thing. An incredible thing. I’m going to take care of you. The both of you. I promise.” He kissed her again. “Bella, I love you.”

“I love you.”

He kissed her again and again. He would remember he needed to breathe later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There will be an epilogue (yes, we’ll get to meet baby Angelward), but our tale is told. Many thanks to baburella, Mina, MoH, Packy, and songster for all their help, support, and gratuitous gif’ing in my doc. 
> 
> How we feeling, kids?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Our tale comes to an end. Let’s see how our kids are doing.

“Coming to accept that this body is mine has been strange for me,” Edward said, his tone musing. “It is as I told you once. Bodies are merely vessels for our essence. As an angel, I was capable of many forms. This body was a mask, a means to an end, and I have struggled to feel any kind of attachment.”

Bella raised an eyebrow, tearing her gaze away from the baby in her arms to look at him. Edward wasn’t looking at her, but down at their son. He turned and pressed a kiss to Bella’s hair. “Yet your body is dear to me,” he said against her ear, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Your body sheltered and grew our child. And now, look what you can do.” He brushed the tips of his fingers against the baby’s cheek.

The boy grunted, disturbed in his suckling, but quickly got back to business. Bella laughed. She ran her thumb over the silky hairs on her son’s scalp and looked up at Edward. “Has anyone ever told you you’re melodramatic?”

He grinned. “You, frequently.” He rested his cheek against her, tracing the shape of her breast above where the baby was latched. “Gabriel,” he said with a voice full of wonder. 

For Edward, Gabriel was the name of an angel in Carlisle’s echelon. It served the dual purpose of being an homage both to Bella’s nerdiness—Gabriel was a beloved Supernatural character—and the actual angels for protection. Of all the high angels, Carlisle aside, Edward figured they could do worse than to name a patron of sorts. Gabriel was most likely to look on them as benevolently as Carlisle did.

Bella took a deep breath, trying to push aside the worry that was always nearby when she thought about the unanswered question of what Gabriel was. 

The technical term was nephilim—the product of a human and an angel. Edward had thought the creature was no more than a creation of man’s imagination, and yet there was Gabriel. It was hard to conceive—no pun intended—of something her angel couldn’t explain.

Despite their pleas, Carlisle hadn’t made a reappearance since that day in the hospital. Still, Edward said he suspected the cherub toy he’d left behind was a talisman of sorts, imbued with divine protection. They kept it near Gabriel always.

“You still can’t tell, can you?” Bella asked, unable to help herself.

She’d spent the entire pregnancy waiting for something weird to happen. When she felt the baby move, she’d been more than a little freaked out. It felt like tiny wings fluttering. But then she’d remembered many women used the same description—like butterfly wings instead of angel wings. Doctor visit after doctor visit she was told the same thing: the baby was perfectly normal.

“Do you think he’s...special?” Bella asked Edward.

He gave her a patient smile and kissed her forehead. “Of course I think he’s special. I’m his father.”

Despite her worry, Bella couldn’t help but smile at the note of pride in his voice. She hoped he never got over his incredulity that he was a father. It was too adorable, and pretty funny. Human now or not, Edward had held limitless power for millennia. Yet he was floored by a process almost as old as time itself—reproduction.

“You know what I mean,” Bella said.

“Yes, I know what you mean.” Edward returned his eyes to the baby looking him over. He smiled gently, both of them watching as Gabriel’s eyelids drooped. “Sincerely, it’s difficult to say. I’m biased. Er, what’s the term Emmett used? I’m inclined to think sunshine comes out his ass.”

Bella snorted. “He obviously hasn’t changed a diaper.”

Edward chuckled. “He glows. I’m sure you can see it.”

Bella nodded. It wasn’t something she could explain—and heaven knew neither the doctor nor Emmett nor anyone else who had no personal knowledge of angels had noticed anything—but there seemed to be something other about Gabriel.

“But again, you and I are biased,” Edward said. “Truthfully, even Rosalie is biased given how she feels about him. He’s normal enough.” His lips quirked up and his arm around her tightened “I can admit now that I worried when you were pregnant too. If he had wings or even if he had power, what could that do to your human body? He’s a baby, after all. He wouldn’t have done it on purpose.” 

“Someone’s been dipping into my comic collection,” Bella teased, pretending she hadn’t been scared about the same thing. She sobered quickly. “Then there are the marks.”

Gabriel had two birthmarks. They looked like two slash marks carving a half crescent each on his back, along his shoulderblades. They were miniature replicas of the thin scars on Edward’s own back—the only indication he’d ever had wings. 

“An imprint perhaps,” Edward said, musing aloud. 

Gabriel’s mouth went slack in sleep and he fell away from Bella’s nipple with a tiny, wet pop. She let Edward take him. “It doesn’t matter to me, you know. He’s perfect.” She sighed, getting to her feet to walk with them to the crib. “I just need to know how to protect him; that’s all.”

Edward wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer as they looked down on their sleeping son. Bella pressed a kiss to her fingers and then pressed her hand to Gabriel’s cheek. “But don’t you worry, bub.” She eyed the cherub propped up on the edge of the crib, against the wall. “Angels are watching over you.”

~0~

Gabriel had no shortage of adoring playmates. Theirs was a busy household—the house they were renting was big, but three couples, a baby, and a dog in one house was always going to be hectic. He was a plump, happy baby whose laugh made everyone smile.

By the time his son was five months old, Edward was sure Gabriel had more than human playmates. Sometimes, when he was on his own, in his crib or on his playmat, he would tilt his head up, giggling and cooing the same way he did when someone was with him. His eyes seemed to track something no one else could see. 

Watching his son wave his hands at the air, Edward spoke. “Carlisle, if that’s you, some advice would not go amiss.” He laughed at himself, rubbing a hand over his chin as he considered. “I become more and more human each day, don’t I? Wishing I had a father to go to for advice. What a strange thing.

“Rationally, I know I’m doing as well as anyone. I work to support my little family. I spend time with my son. I care for him and his mother. I love them as well and truly as I know how.”

Gabriel squalled, and Edward went to his son. He picked him up, marveling as he always did at the child’s weight and warmth. Gabriel grinned at him, waving a toy he had clenched in his chubby fist. Edward grinned back and kissed the tip of his nose, which Gabriel thought was the funniest thing ever. 

Edward continued his conversation not with the invisible entity who may or may not have been in the room, but with his impossible child. “Still, you will live a wholly human life, and that’s something I know nothing about. Can I be enough for you?”

Gabriel blinked up at him. After a moment, he pitched forward, resting his head on Edward’s shoulder, his hand grasping at his shirt. Edward swayed them both, filled as he always was, with a love so powerful, he almost couldn’t breathe.

How precious and amazing his baby’s trust was. “You’re right, Gabriel. There’s no one truth, is there? You’ll know how much you’re loved, and that will be enough. I, of all people, know that life will surprise you.” He laughed at himself. “If I can teach you nothing else, it would be that.”

~0~

“What’s your favorite thing about being human?”

Bella still asked Edward that question every once in a while. 

These days, everyone in Bella’s sphere was happy and stable. She didn’t quite know how to deal with it. She wondered if she would ever shake the feeling it was all about to fall apart. That was what life had taught her, after all. Nothing stayed the same. Nothing lasted. It was why she hung on to those she loved with both hands and all her toes. 

Her best friend was healthy, safe, and desperately in love with a wonderful woman. He wrestled with guilt over his brother’s estrangement, but life wasn’t meant to be perfect. 

Her son—her impossible miracle, her surprise—would have all the things she never got. He would have all the consistent love and support she could give him. He was the living symbol that her life was worth something. He needed her in a way no one else in the world did.

It was all more than Bella ever could have expected. Her life was far from perfect. She had so much to accomplish, but she also had the tools and support to accomplish it. She had a family, crafted not by blood but by circumstance. 

So who could blame her when, every once in awhile, she let fear get the better of her. She started to imagine everything that could go wrong. Some part of her, scared to invest her entire self into the idea any happiness she had could be permanent, still expected Edward to say he regretted everything he’d lost to stay with her.

Ever patient, Edward smiled and kissed her. He kissed her slowly until she melted against him. He made it impossible to doubt his love for her.

“Oh, I don’t have a favorite thing. Not anymore,” he said.

Bella blinked. She’d almost forgotten what she asked him.

Edward chuckled. “That look.” He tapped the tip of her nose. “That look right there, is one of my favorite things.”

“Is it?”

“Mmhmm.” He kissed her eyelids. “And that look you give me when you think I’m possibly the most exasperating thing in the universe.”

Bella rolled her eyes.

“Exactly,” he said, grinning. “And I like when you explain things to me, when you’re into a new show or movie, and you’re blown away by some aspect of it. You get so passionate. You wave your hands and start talking like they do on the Internet.”

She blushed.

He touched the tips of his fingers to her cheek. “That’s one of my favorite things too.” He sighed and kissed her lips sweetly. “You’re my favorite thing. You and my son.”

“Gabriel is all kinds of awesome.”

“Yes. He’s a favorite of mine.”

“Mine too.” Bella kissed him. “And you.” She kissed him again, her hands beginning to roam his body. She cupped him between his legs, biting her bottom lip to fight her grin when he hissed. “I don’t know about my favorite thing, but I enjoy this quite a lot.”

“Ah, yes.” Edward sucked in a breath, bucking up against her hand. “This...I like this too.”

“Sex?” She rubbed her hand over him.

“It’s, ah...it’s quite a marvelous invention.”

Bella snickered. “Makes you believe in a higher higher power, right?” The idea angels didn’t even know if god existed never failed to amuse her. “Clever of them to link the survival of the species to this.”

He growled and lunged at her. Bella yelped as she suddenly found herself on her back, pinned beneath his body, his mouth voracious on hers. 

Before they could get to the good part, though, Gabriel began to whimper from his crib. Bella moaned. “Timing, kid. We’ve got to talk about your timing.”

They disentangled themselves and went to attend to their child. “Before you can ask, poop is still my least favorite part of humanity,” Edward said, reaching down into the crib to pull the unhappy baby into his arms. “That’s the one thing of yours I don’t find amazing, little one. I am not a fan of poop. Not even yours.”

Gabriel screwed up his face and let out a mighty holler. Bella laughed, stepping up beside Edward. “Here, let me— Ouch!”

Bella pressed a hand against her cheek. Gabriel, in true, pissed-off-baby fashion, had swung his hands out. His too-sharp nails had caught Bella’s face, taking skin with her. She grimaced. “Oh, that one’s not going to be pretty.”

Sometimes being a parent hurt. Bella had learned that right away.

“Let me see,” Edward said, concerned. He stepped closer, shifting Gabriel to one hip to check out the injury.

Bella shook her head. “It’s not a big deal. I…” She trailed off, laughing as Gabriel reached out for her. She laughed, taking him from Edward. “What, first you slap me, then you want a hug? That’s not how it works, bratty boy.”

Gabriel tilted his head, looking at her with wet, wide eyes. He raised his hand to her face, putting his fingers over the scratch.

Bella gasped. She felt warmth flood through her and the sting of the small wound eased almost instantly. She stared at her son. She heard Edward’s startled cry.

Gabriel dropped his hand and shoved his fingers in his mouth, looking up at her pensively.

“It’s gone, isn’t it?” Bella asked, her voice shaking. She couldn’t take her eyes off the baby.

“Yes.” Edward’s voice was as shaky as hers. “He healed you.”

Bella stumbled a few steps backward and sat down hard on the bed. Gabriel whimpered, ready to start crying again, and that helped her unfreeze. “Oh, baby. Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay. You’re fine. You just startled Momma is all. You’re perfect.” She rocked him, kissed him, and stroked his hair.

Edward sat beside her and wrapped an arm around them both. She could feel he was trembling.

“What does it mean?” she whispered.

“I don’t know.”

~0~

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Rosalie said, watching out the window as Emmett threw Gabriel in the air and caught him again.

Edward half expected him to spread wings and fly away. He tightened his arm around Bella and turned back to look at his sister. “Rosalie, of course it does. It means something. What if—”

“Stop,” Rosalie said. She laughed. “There have always been firsts, Edward. There was a first of everything, and you have seen so many. The universe remains. The world keeps turning.” She looked at Bella and reached across to squeeze her hands. “He’s unique. That’s all.”

“I just want to know what it means for him.” Bella took her hands back, covering her face to hide a raw laugh. “This is the start of a superhero backstory. Christ. Is he doomed to a life of fighting crime to avenge the death of his human mother? That’d be fitting. Agh.”

Despite himself, his own worries, Edward laughed. He squeezed her tighter. “I won’t let that happen.”

Bella raised her head. “Oh, you don’t want to know what happens to the superhuman dad in these stories, bucko. Have I taught you nothing? The best you can hope for is to be dragged back to heaven by the angelic choir or something.”

“Hey,” Rosalie said, her voice gentle. “We’re all going to be fine. Gabriel has a lot of people to look out for him no matter what happens.” She smiled. “You don’t get to live a normal human life, Bella. Those are the cards you drew.”

Or rather, the cards Edward had drawn for her when he saved her life so many years before.

Bella looked to Edward. She threw her arms around him, ducking her head against his chest. “You’re right, and I wouldn’t change it.” She sighed, and he could feel the tension draining from her body. She looked up at him. “An extraordinary life is bound to throw a few curveballs, right?”

“Such is life,” Edward said. “Unexpected and fantastic.”

**~The End~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As always, so many thanks to my wonderful band of prereaders. They put up with my pestering. Thanks songster, barburella, MoH, Packy, and Mina.
> 
> And thanks to all you for coming along on another ride with me.


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